Thank You for Stabbing Me
There was one work that looked ancient just from the title: Princess Violetta's Exorcism Biography. As the title suggested, it was a painfully clichéd tale about a hero fighting the demon race. Though it was dismissed as mass-produced, it still had a loyal following. The story unfolded with the comforting steadiness of a national staple. The characters each carried their own distinct charm. Long ago, I too had followed it every single day.
But mass-produced is still mass-produced. Sadly, it could never rise to masterpiece status. The power balance had utterly collapsed in the latter half. The hero had grown far too strong, so the final dark force meant to oppose him—the Worst Evil Magic Dragon—had its own power level tuned to an equally absurd degree.
The comment section had been in absolute chaos back then. Nevertheless, the story marched relentlessly toward its total annihilation ending. The setting had collapsed so badly that not even the author could salvage it. That reckless narrative momentum eventually led to—.
Due to the author's personal circumstances, this work will be on temporary hiatus......
It was essentially a permanent suspension. No miracle of resumption ever came, of course. And what was even more fucked up than that was the fact that I had possessed this hopeless, dreamless world. A world already slated for total destruction, no less.
Did I leave a comment back then too? …Fuck if I know. I couldn’t remember the trigger for the possession at all. When I opened my eyes, I was already inside The Exorcism Biography. I had simply grabbed a sword to avoid dying like a dog. That was it.
…Just one more step forward.
Whatever the reason, it had already happened. I had climbed all the way to the Imperial Guard with survival as my sole objective. To personally eliminate the Worst Evil Magic Dragon with my own hands. If it was the dragon before her awakening, this alone should be more than enough to finish the job.
Clank.
I fumbled inside my coat once more, double-checking my armament. My fingertips brushed against hard metal.
“Armand, you there?”
A man’s voice reached me.
“Ah, yes, Captain Darkhan.”
“Haha, even someone like you gets nervous guarding Her Highness, huh?”
“Honestly, yes.”
The bald Captain of the Imperial Guard, Darkhan, scratched at his brown beard and let out a small chuckle.
“Never let go of that tension. Her Highness is no ordinary person.”
“May I ask what you mean by that?”
Before being assigned as the princess’s escort knight, I was currently receiving a direct handover. And not from my predecessor, but from the captain of the Imperial Guard himself. It was quite the unusual arrangement.
“Do you know what happened to your predecessor?”
“I don’t. How would someone who only recently joined the Guard know something like that?”
“He was stripped of his position and subjected to severe punishment.”
“…?”
“It was the natural outcome. The fool dared to harbor feelings for Her Highness and ended up committing a grave offense. Not just him—the predecessor before him too.”
“Is that true?”
“One of them was executed, I believe. That’s why I’m handling the handover myself.”
“Huh…”
It was absurd. The Imperial Guard consisted of the elite of the elite—knights whose skills and minds were both armored with absolute loyalty. For such men to not only develop dark intentions toward their charge but fail to control them? They deserved execution with nothing left to say.
“In any case, never look into Her Highness’s eyes for more than three seconds.”
“Three seconds…? Why? I was under the impression that merely meeting a member of the imperial family’s eyes directly was already a breach of etiquette.”
“Human eyes are unconsciously drawn to beautiful flowers. Once captivated by that beauty, you won’t be able to look away.”
“Are you saying they become enchanted?”
“Exactly. That’s how your predecessors met their ends.”
“Wow, no matter how beautiful Her Highness may be, that’s… You’re joking, right?”
I tried to laugh it off. I assumed it was some sort of hazing ritual for the new recruit.
“Listen seriously. This is no joke.”
“Pardon?”
“Now that you’re officially Her Highness’s escort knight, it’s time you knew.”
Darkhan’s expression grew grave. He stepped closer with a hardened face and whispered carefully into my ear.
“Her Highness is currently suffering from an illness.”
“An illness, sir?”
“Yes. No one knows exactly what it is. In any case, because of it she spends more than half the day in bed. And I suspect that this unknown curse-like disease is what causes anyone who meets her eyes to become enthralled.”
A curse-like disease—.
It wasn’t a disease. It was a sign right before her awakening. I didn’t know how the magic dragon had ended up as the emperor’s daughter, but I could roughly guess. She was hiding her true identity, waiting to regain her strength. The moment she recovered, she would reveal her real form and swallow the world whole.
“…Ah, and one more thing.”
“What is it?”
“Because of that illness, she’s often not in her right mind.”
The captain glanced around nervously as he whispered, as if wary of the princess who wasn’t even present.
“Not in her right mind, meaning—.”
“Handover ends here. I will take no further questions.”
“……”
“Armand, your only job is to stay by Her Highness’s side. The moment a knight begins to doubt his lord, he ceases to be a knight.”
Tsk. You’re the one who made me suspicious first.
I swallowed the unnecessary retort and nodded. So the princess’s mind was unstable…. In a way, that suited the title of Worst Evil Magic Dragon perfectly. But none of that mattered. She was fated to have her breath cut short by my hand anyway.
“I will keep it in mind.”
Clank.
I checked inside my coat one last time and rose from my seat.
✧
Violetta, princess of the Holy Empire and the Worst Evil Magic Dragon. To me, who only remembered the broad strokes of the original story, it wasn’t particularly new information. However, this was the first time I was facing her proper human form. And alone with her in the same room, no less.
“Would you raise your head a little?”
The woman seated across from me issued the command in a languid voice. Thanks to Captain Darkhan’s warning not to meet her eyes, I couldn’t look closely, but even a glance confirmed she possessed breathtaking beauty worthy of being called a nation-toppling beauty. Mystical purple eyes peeked through her silver hair, gliding across my face.
“A face too good to waste on a mere knight. Golden hair and blue eyes—.”
Anyone would mistake you for royalty. She tilted her head, adding an ambiguous remark. It seemed she was deliberately trying to make eye contact with me.
“That is far too generous. I am no such thing.”
“How cute. They trained you well, I see.”
When I desperately averted my gaze, the princess let out a small, amused huff.
“To treat the exalted imperial family so casually is absolutely unthinkable.”
“Even if I say it’s fine?”
Violetta suddenly leaned her face closer. At the same time, a sweet fruity scent tickled my nose. Even the princess’s pheromones seemed intent on seducing me.
“Yes. I wish to remain by your side for a very long time.”
“Not because you don’t want to die young like your predecessors?”
“That is also true, actually. I want to live a long life.”
…After I deal with you and return safely, that is.
“Really? You’re surprisingly honest.”
For a moment, the princess’s previously indifferent eyes sparkled. I had only caught it from the corner of my eye, but her gaze was thick with interest. Attracting the attention of the Worst Evil Magic Dragon could only bring trouble.
“Only by doing so can I devote myself to the empire for many years, can I not?”
I quickly added a safe, clichéd answer.
“Hmm—. It’s a boring response, but… you smell rather interesting.”
By now the princess had risen from her seat and was circling me slowly. She hummed through her nose. A sudden chill crawled up my spine. For an instant, she felt overwhelmingly massive. I had only looked at her with my eyes, yet the pressure was no joke. She truly lived up to her role as the final boss of a world whose power balance had been shattered. She was clearly still in her pre-awakening stage—how could she emit such presence—.
“Don’t be afraid. I don’t like being alone anymore either. So stay by my side as long as possible.”
With those words, the crushing pressure that had been weighing me down vanished.
“…Hah.”
My lungs suddenly opened and I drew in a deep breath. It felt as though some unknown power I had yet to understand was swirling around the princess.
“You look tired. Go rest. I’ll take a nap too.”
“Understood, Your Highness.”
“Hmm—. We’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so that title is too stiff. When we’re alone, just call me ‘my lady,’ alright?”
“Pardon? How could I possibly—.”
“If I tell you to do it, you just do it.”
“But……”
“I have no need for an escort knight who argues with my every word.”
“…Yes, my lady.”
“Heh, good. Don’t let anyone into the bedroom. See you later, then?”
I couldn’t look into the princess’s eyes, but I could imagine her face full of mischief. I had no idea what had caught her interest, but after those words she turned and headed for her bedchamber. Without horns, tail, or wings, she looked exactly like a human.
I thought she’d have the personality of a villainess through and through, but—.
I was staring blankly at her retreating figure when it happened.
“…Hngh?”
The princess suddenly collapsed on the spot as if she had fainted.
What the—? Don’t tell me….
She hadn’t even reached the bed yet. It must be the manifestation of that so-called “illness”—the sign of her impending awakening. I had nearly been too late.
Perfect timing.
To receive such a golden opportunity right after being appointed to the Imperial Guard— the heavens were clearly on my side.
✧
“Your Highness…! I mean, my lady! Are you alright?”
Armand immediately carried the princess to her bed. Under normal circumstances he should have summoned the imperial physician at once, but there was no need. He intended to dispose of the princess—the Worst Evil Magic Dragon—right here and use the reward to return home.
“Haaa……”
The princess let out a low moan. She showed no other reaction. She simply tossed and turned in unconsciousness. In other words, she was completely defenseless. It was the ideal moment for the human Armand to deal with the still-immature magic dragon.
Time to use this at last.
Armand drew a palm-sized silver cross from inside his coat.
—Shing.
It was no ordinary cross. The base of the cross slid away smoothly, revealing a sharp blade. It was a cross-shaped dagger. But it was no ordinary disguise weapon. It was the Holy Sword, imbued with special power.
Holy relic disguised as a cross dagger
Transforms into a greatsword when infused with holy aura
Capable of inflicting fatal wounds upon a newly transformed magic dragon
Originally it was a sacred artifact the original protagonist would obtain from an abandoned temple right before the final battle, but Armand—who knew the story—had acquired it early with ease. This Holy Sword was a weapon that could deal a critical blow to a dragon who had only just shed her human form. Though its significance had faded somewhat as the power balance fell apart in the later parts of the original—.
…I was told she has a reverse scale near her heart.
When Armand poured aura into it, the Holy Sword emitted a pure white light. That light soon transformed the dagger-sized blade into the form of a greatsword. Proof that the Holy Sword was resonating with Armand’s pure aura.
I bear you no ill will. May you pass on peacefully.
Armand recited the words inwardly and drove the Holy Sword straight down. He intended to pierce straight through the Dragon Heart in a single strike.
—Thunk!
The blade of light sank effortlessly into the left side of Princess Violetta’s chest. A heavy sensation reached his fingertips. It felt like he had struck the heart perfectly. But the princess’s heart….
—Thump! Thump! Thump!
It was still beating steadily. If anything, more vigorously than before. Not a single drop of blood had splattered. He could even feel the healthy pulse against his fingers.
What the hell is this…?!
And that wasn’t all.
“Haaa—.”
The princess’s consciousness returned. Her purple eyes turned toward Armand. She wore a smile that looked far more relaxed. Then came her next words.
“…Thanks to you, I lived.”
“???!!”
The princess who had been stabbed by the Holy Sword did not appear to be in pain at all. Instead, she beamed brightly at Armand.
…Fuck. This isn’t how it was supposed to go.
It was the moment all his expectations came crashing down. On the other hand—.
“Thank you. I really mean it.”
The princess’s face had blossomed into a full smile, like a single flower in full bloom.