Gathering Courage
Erika had recently begun to think that Roen had changed a great deal.
Whenever he held hands with Illia he tensed up, unable to meet her gaze properly, and even if her clothes so much as brushed against him his face would flush bright red in an instant. None of those reactions from Roen sat well with her.
It was a side of him she had never seen before—an utterly unfamiliar look. And the fact that this look was directed not at her but at another woman made jealousy and anger boil up from deep inside her chest.
At least I have the excuse of being family…
How on earth had that fox, who used to hide behind an expressionless mask, managed to bewitch Roen?
Erika wanted to scatter the strange current flowing between Roen and Illia by any means necessary. Even if it meant drawing her sword. But she could not. Roen clearly did not want that.
Doing something he hated for the sake of the one she loved, only to drive them apart—that would be putting the cart before the horse, would it not? Erika might have been blinded by love, but she was not a fool.
Thanks to that, her attitude toward Illia had at least grown milder than at first. Fighting with words instead of a blade was, by her standards, a vast improvement.
That was precisely why, one week before Roen and Illia were due to leave for the capital, Kronstadt, to attend the Social Ball, Erika and Illia sat facing each other across the tea table in the reception room.
Roen had been made to wait outside the door for the time being. It was an unavoidable measure if Erika was to have the private audience with Illia she desired.
"……."
Erika was more serious now than she had ever been. She was not wearing her usual sword on her back, and instead of her uniform she wore a white dress. With her entire body she was declaring that she had no intention of fighting and simply wished to talk.
Without a sword, Erika was merely a woman stronger than most—though even in this state she could probably still put several people in the ground.
Illia must have been thoroughly taken aback. Someone who never acted this way suddenly doing so… yet none of that emotion showed on her face. She simply opened her mouth with perfect composure.
"This is sudden. I never expected you to be the one requesting a conversation with me."
"We've always talked. Just not like this."
Erika toyed with the steaming teacup but never brought it to her lips. It was not that black tea did not suit her taste. It was simply warm. Warm like Roen's hand.
When had she last held his hand? She could not remember. Unlike Illia or Rize, Erika never initiated physical contact with Roen. Of course, if her heart had its way she would have wanted more passionate contact than anyone.
But she was afraid. Afraid that her grown little brother would push her away with a disgusted "Why are you being so clingy, big sister?" The more she loved Roen, the more terrified she was of being cast aside by him. Even so, she could not simply stand by and watch him be stolen by Illia.
"So what business made you request this conversation?"
"…Roen seems to have changed a lot lately."
"Changed? What do you mean?"
"He's been blushing more often. He can't even meet Your Highness's eyes properly. He wasn't that kind of kid before."
"……."
"Just what kind of spell have you cast on Roen, Grand Duchess?"
Instead of answering, Illia quietly lifted her teacup, took a sip of black tea, and set it back down on the table. The slow way she swallowed the tea looked as if she were carefully choosing her words.
Or perhaps she was simply wetting her throat before speaking in earnest. In any case, she parted her firmly closed lips only after every last drop of the tea in her mouth had slid down her throat.
"…When we first met, you asked me whether I liked Roen."
"I did."
"At the time I could not bring myself to answer, but now I can say it. I like him."
"……."
"And all I did was make sure he came to like me the same way."
She clearly had no intention of revealing what methods she had used. Well, that was only natural. I wouldn't tell either if it were me. Who would lightly hand over an advantage they had finally seized? Yet Erika felt wronged. She had been the one who liked him first.
She had even raised him with such care according to her own tastes. So why was Illia the one who got to take Roen in the end? What had created that difference?
"Your Highness has courage."
"…Me?"
"Yes. I never had the courage to just go for it the way you did."
"……."
"Ha. Looking at it now, I guess I need to change too."
Erika downed the lukewarm black tea in one gulp. Heat spread through her mouth, but her head only grew clearer. Being the one who only ever got things taken from her really did not suit her nature.
"I told you, didn't I? I'm greedy. The match isn't over yet. We never finished it properly last time."
Erika rose from her seat and prepared to leave. Illia tilted her head at the sudden shift in Erika's attitude.
"Change? How?"
"Heh. That's a secret. There's no way I'd just tell you something like that."
Leaving Illia, who had slightly furrowed her brow, behind her, Erika cheerfully threw open the reception room door.
And then—
"Ah, Noona! Are you finished talking with the lady?"
Roen greeted her brightly. Looking at that wide, smiling face, Erika wanted nothing more than to make it flush bright red right then and there. But not now.
"Yeah. All done. Keep up the good work on guard duty today too."
If she was going to do it, night would be better.
The night had grown deep. Yet sleep would not come. It was not because of Rize, who was using my right arm as a pillow. She was light, and she was sleeping so soundly that she even drooled a little at the corner of her mouth—hardly something that would bother me.
Lately it had become harder and harder to fall asleep quickly. The moment I closed my eyes, the things Illia had been doing to me without the slightest hesitation rose vividly in my mind. Ever since the day I first became conscious of her, her physical contact had grown more and more blatant with each passing day.
At this rate, was she not practically urging me to admit I liked her as soon as possible and confess? Or maybe she was simply trying to die of embarrassment by proxy.
"At the Social Ball, my partner is you. Only you."
…Moreover, the closer the day of the Social Ball drew, the more that line Illia had spoken to me refused to fade; if anything, it only grew clearer. I was tossing and turning, trying to cool my burning face, when—
"Can't sleep?"
"……?!"
Noona quietly spoke. I had been certain she was asleep!
"Y-you're awake?"
"I wasn't sleeping."
"Is it because I was tossing and turning?"
"No. It's not that either."
Apparently Noona could not sleep either, just like me. With a rustle of the blanket she turned her body toward me. In the faint moonlight filtering through the gap in the curtains, her golden eyes gleamed sharply.
"Got something on your mind?"
"…I do, yeah."
"What a coincidence. So do I."
"Really?"
That was unexpected. Noona had always seemed like someone who lived a long way from the concept of worrying. For someone who always did whatever she felt like to have worries… just what could be keeping her awake like this?
"Roen."
"Yeah?"
"Will you listen to my problem?"
"…If it's something I can help with, sure."
"I hope it is."
In that moment Noona casually pressed her body against mine. Then, under the covers, she tangled our legs together and climbed on top of me.
"N-Noona?!"
"Roen."
Noona settled her full weight over me. She slid her arms under my armpits and pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Wh-what, Noona?"
"What?"
"Could you… get off a little?"
"……Do you hate me hugging you?"
Of course I did not. It was just sudden in so many ways. The fact that Noona, who was usually so stingy with physical contact, was clinging this tightly, and the way she was whispering in that dejected voice, both threw me off. And more than anything…
"I-I'm in a pretty awkward situation right now, okay?"
"Do you hate me?"
Noona pressed even closer. This was different from when it was Illia. The fabric was thin, so I could feel something like bare skin…
"Ah."
Just then Noona let out a small sound of realization. At the exact same moment my own realization raised its head.
"…Our Roen. It wasn't that you hated it—you actually liked it too much, didn't you?"
"……."
No. That could not be. Lusting after my own sister? I was not that kind of degenerate. So this was just an unavoidable physiological response. There was nothing I could do about it.
"If you get it, could you get off…?"
"No. Hmm… if you calm down quickly I might get off nicely?"
She whispered that while discreetly pressing down on my pelvis with her hips, so her words had zero credibility…!
"Wh-why are you suddenly doing this, Noona?!"
"Because you and the Grand Duchess look so close. So I figured I wanted to get a little closer with you too, Roen."
"What does that even…"
"Don't worry. I won't do anything. Just… just let me stay like this until I fall asleep."
Noona buried her face in the crook of my neck. The way she was whining strangely reminded me of Rize. Without thinking I stroked her hair. And truly, Noona did nothing at all. She did not press her chest against me any harder. She did not keep grinding her hips to stimulate me. She simply breathed evenly while nestled in my arms. And so, little by little, my heart settled as well.
"It feels nice being held. Why didn't I do this sooner?"
"R-right…"
"From now on I'll hug you every day. As much as I couldn't before. And we'll become closer than anyone else in the world."
"How much closer do you even want us to get from here?"
Objectively speaking, the bond between us siblings was already extremely good. Could it really get better than this?
"Who knows. Just how much closer can we get? That's for you to think about from now on."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."
"I love you, Roen."
"…Me too."
I had heard Noona say she loved me plenty of times in ordinary moments. But the "I love you" just now felt as if it carried more emotion somehow.
…It must have been my imagination.