Catfight
Erika Kraus, captain of the Vanguard of the Nordwacht Knights.
And Lize Kraus, an apprentice knight.
Originally, neither of them should ever have fallen in love with Roen.
After all, the original Roen had been an irredeemable narcissist who lived solely for the pleasure of his own self-regard. As he grew older he had increasingly taken to disregarding others, and Erika and Lize had been no exceptions.
Erika had done everything she could to straighten out her younger brother’s twisted personality, but innate nature was what it was. In the end even she had given up.
He’s not going to grow up the way I want him to, she must have thought.
And so Lize, whose tastes ran similar to Erika’s, had never loved Roen either.
But now things had diverged sharply from the original story. All of it was thanks to Roen having sworn to live a righteous, diligent life in order to survive.
Erika had succeeded in raising a man who suited her preferences, and Roen felt deep gratitude toward the sister who had helped him since childhood. Mutual benefit, one might say.
Of course, since what each of them wanted was different, it could also be called a case of shared bed, different dreams.
And there was one more difference.
Namely, the elegant noble young lady that was Erika in ordinary times, and the Erika who took up a sword. Those two might as well have been entirely different people.
Boom—!
A heavy thud echoed as something of tremendous mass slammed into the ground.
That sound… it couldn’t be…?
“Ah. It’s started. Want to watch too, Oppa?”
“When you say it’s started, you mean…!”
“Mm-hm.”
Lize helpfully turned my head for me.
“Noona drew her sword.”
Sword.
What Lize meant by “sword” was that enormous mass of black iron standing upright beside my sister. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Even for a greatsword, could you really call that twenty-kilogram slab of iron a sword?
And that human—no, that monster—swung the thing lightly with one hand. Where in that slender frame all that strength came from was beyond me.
“Oppa, who do you think will win?”
“Aren’t you going to try stopping them?”
“Lize is only an apprentice.”
“Then let go. I’ll go stop them myself.”
“Tch. You’re going to leave Lize behind again…?”
“Hey.”
“Hehe, just kidding~.”
Only then did Lize release my head. I pushed myself up from the ground and held out a hand to her.
“Get up. Let’s go together.”
“……”
But Lize showed no intention of taking my hand. Instead she squinted up at me through half-lidded eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“…Carry me.”
“Again? How old are you still asking to be carried?”
“……”
Instead of answering, Lize simply spread both arms and pouted. Just how long did she plan on acting spoiled?
Left with no choice, I scooped her up, supporting her behind the knees and across the back. Lize looped her arms around my neck, pressed her cheek against my collarbone, and snuggled in tight.
“Happy now?”
“…Yeah.”
I shook my head with a wry smile and walked toward my sister.
“Noona.”
“Hm? Ah, Roen.”
The elegant noble young lady from earlier had vanished, replaced by a hearty warrior woman.
“Why’d you draw your sword again? There are plenty of eyes watching.”
Indeed, soldiers mid-maintenance and knights who had been about to leave all held their breath, eyes fixed on us.
“Does a person need a special reason to draw a sword? You just pull it out when you feel like fighting.”
“You’re serious? You’re going to fight my lady?”
“Of course. Her Highness the Grand Duchess already agreed.”
Ilia agreed?
“Is that true, my lady?”
Ilia, who had been slowly clenching and unclenching her right hand, looked at me and furrowed her brow. Then she nodded.
“That’s right.”
“Then why do you intend to fight? If there’s a problem, wouldn’t it be better to settle it with words?”
“You sound just like my father. Don’t worry. It’s just, um… a test of skill.”
“See? What did I tell you?”
I wasn’t so sure about that. But the two of them seemed to have their stories straight, so there was no room for me to interfere.
“Haa… Fine. But the moment it gets dangerous I’m stepping in, so keep that in mind, Noona.”
“Sure. Reliable as always.”
Then she shot a glare at Lize nestled in my arms.
“And how long do you plan on staying like that, Lize?”
“Until Noona puts her sword away again.”
“Hah.”
My sister snorted, yanked the greatsword free from the ground, and rested it across her shoulder. Then she leveled the tip at Ilia.
“Looks like we’ll have to settle this quickly. Grand Duchess Ilia.”
So much for “Your Highness.” Not that I was surprised. Once my sister held a sword, hierarchy ceased to exist. I’d apologize on her behalf later.
Shing—.
Ilia did not back down. Without a word she drew her own blade and leveled it at my sister. Tension crackled through the air in an instant; I took a step back.
But there was one problem.
“Lize? I can’t intervene while I’m holding you.”
With her in my arms I couldn’t draw my sword. Lize seemed to realize it too; she let out a long sigh.
“Haa… Fine. Put me down.”
I carefully set her on the ground. Her expression looked so disappointed that I ruffled her hair.
“Hehe…”
And just like that she was smiling again. Good thing she likes it so much.
I drew the sword at my hip. As if that had been the signal, Ilia and my sister settled into their stances.
And the clash came in a single breath.
Boom—!!!
My sister kicked off the ground, closed the distance in a blink, and brought the greatsword crashing down. Ilia did not dodge. Instead she angled her blade and deflected the blow, slipping into my sister’s blind spot.
My sister checked the rebound of the missed strike, flipped her grip in a reverse hold, blocked Ilia’s counter, and forced distance again.
Clang!
Clash-clang—!
Kra-boom!!
“Hahahahaha!!!”
“……”
My sister roared with laughter as she poured on the attacks; Ilia defended in silence, waiting for an opening. Their exchange never let up for a second.
“Oppa, who do you think will win?”
“…Noona, probably.”
Sorry to Ilia, but from where I stood I had to give my sister the edge. The Vanguard she belonged to was known by nicknames like human weapon, destruction tank, and butcher—every one of them blood-chilling. They were the elite of the North’s fighting strength; it only made sense. And my sister was their captain.
When I was little I had followed her on magic-beast hunts and barbarian raids. Watching her butcher entire packs of beasts in a single sweep and leave every barbarian with a shattered arm or a broken leg had sent chills down my spine. Etiquette lessons stuck after that. Who would dare talk back after seeing that?
In short, my sister possessed overwhelming physical superiority. The one consolation for Ilia was her technical edge. My sister’s swordsmanship was built for fighting many opponents at once, so in a pure one-on-one duel Ilia’s style held the advantage.
But.
“Kh…!”
Every time Ilia caught one of my sister’s blows, her face twisted ever so slightly. No matter how skillfully she redirected the force, she could not fully bleed off the shock of a twenty-kilogram slab of iron plus my sister’s raw strength. With every successful block the impact stacked higher, until eventually the sword would be knocked from her grip.
Ting—!
Clang-clang-clang!
Just like now.
The match was over. I stepped between them at once.
“That will be enough. I believe the skill assessment has been more than sufficient—though I still have no idea whose skill was being assessed.”
“Roen.”
I picked up Ilia’s fallen sword, brushed the snow from it, and held it out to her.
“It was a fine bout, my lady.”
“But I lost…”
“Lasting this long against my sister is impressive enough. Noona, you too—put the sword away now.”
“……”
But my sister showed no sign of sheathing her blade. If anything she looked frustrated that she hadn’t finished properly, and she was still glaring at Ilia with murderous eyes. I understood. Right now her head wasn’t entirely clear. I needed to speak more firmly.
“I said put the sword away. Now.”
I dropped my voice low and spoke with the weight of an order.
“…Ah, okay. You don’t have to make that face…”
My sister awkwardly slid the greatsword back into its scabbard. I sheathed my own blade as well.
“Sorry, Noona. But you don’t listen unless I talk to you like that.”
“Honestly. If anyone overheard, they’d think I was some kind of beast.”
“……”
Honestly she was closer to beast than human. But if I said that out loud I’d be the one cut in half by that greatsword.
“Roen? If you go quiet at a moment like this I might start getting the wrong idea.”
“Come on, what beast in the world is this pretty?”
“…So I am a beast, then?”
My sister’s lips curled all the way up to her cheekbones. Her eyes, however, were not smiling, which made it extremely terrifying.
“W-well, you both called it a skill assessment, but you were fighting pretty seriously, weren’t you?”
“Roen?”
“Noona! Lately in the capital, among handsome guys like Oppa, beast-like women are super popular!”
The one who saved me from certain death was Lize, who suddenly cut in. She had kindly drawn my sister’s attention for my sake. So this was the return on all the kindness I’d shown her!
“Is that true, Lize?”
“Yep! Oppa would definitely like a woman like that!”
“Really?”
My sister’s eyes sparkled as if she had never been angry at all. If I chose this moment to say no, I really would die. For the sake of survival I had no choice but to lie.
“Well, uh… I do like them? That tough charm, I guess…?”
“Oho~ So our Roen has a thing for that kind of woman?”
No.
Save me.
“Then maybe I should try being a little bolder to match our Roen’s tastes?”
You’re already plenty extreme, so please don’t. And what exactly would “bolder” even mean with me as the target? Were you planning to date me? We’re family. Why would you do that?
“Well, fine. It’s a shame in a lot of ways, but I’ve gotten something out of this, so let’s leave it here. Come on, Lize.”
“I still want to stay with Oppa a little longer…”
Lize slipped against my side and clutched my clothes. She looked so cute that I ruffled her hair again without thinking.
“Hehe…”
At that my sister shot me a murderous glare, eyes sharp as axes.
“Roen. What about me?”
“Petting someone older than me on the head looks a little weird, doesn’t it…?”
“What about me?”
“Haa…”
Left with no choice, I used my free hand to ruffle my sister’s hair as well.
“Nngh… That feels good… Ah, a little further back. Ah, ah. Yes, right there!”
My sister wore a thoroughly satisfied smile as she completely surrendered to my hand. Seriously, the difference from a moment ago was way too big. Seizing the opening while her guard was down, I flicked her hard on the forehead.
“Ow! Ugh… You…!”
“Heh. That’s enough, go home. Aren’t you tired? Get back and rest.”
“What. Are you worried about me?”
“Yeah. Who else is going to worry about you if not me? Everyone else thinks you’re some kind of superhuman.”
“…In the end the only one who thinks of me is our Roen.”
With that she snatched Lize—who had been hovering nearby—by the scruff of the neck.
“Eek!”
“All right, Lize. We’re really going home now. Roen’s said that much; if we stay any longer it’ll look awkward.”
“Mmm…”
“Anyone watching would think we were never going to see each other again.”
I cupped Lize’s pouting cheeks in both hands.
“Come visit the Grand Duke’s Castle later. See you soon, Lize.”
“Ah… Okay.”
Watching her blush and smile bashfully made me smile too. I gave her mussed hair one more ruffle and waved lightly.
“Then, Your Highness the Grand Duchess. Until next time. You take care as well, Roen.”
“Yeah. If you’re leaving, leave already. It’s cold.”
My sister snorted a laugh, tucked Lize under one arm, and vanished in a display of ridiculous leg strength.
Hold on. What about the horses? Had she run the whole way here too? Ah… well, that was just like her.
The storm of a moment passed. Before I knew it the onlookers’ gazes had faded, and once again only the quiet sound of the wind remained at the border outpost—along with Ilia and me.
“That was pretty sudden. I never expected to introduce my family like that. My sister was pretty rude earlier, wasn’t she? Let me apologize on her behalf.”
I turned with an awkward smile. But Ilia’s state was strange. She was staring at me in complete silence.
“Ilia?”
“…Ahem.”
Ilia put a fist to her lips, cleared her throat, and nudged her head a little closer.
Ah. Don’t tell me…
“Come on, not you too…”
“Ahem! Ahem.”
Even after my scolding she refused to back down, clearing her throat again and again while pushing her head even closer. Anyone listening would think she was choking.
“Haa…”
I sighed and had no choice but to stroke Ilia’s hair. Given her personality, if I didn’t she would stand there all night doing exactly this.
“Mm… Yeah…”
“What is it about this that feels so good? I honestly don’t get it.”
“I’ll… stroke your hair later…”
“Ah. That sounds nice.”
And so I stood in the blizzard, endlessly stroking her hair until Ilia was satisfied and finally lifted her head. Honestly, I thought my hand was going to wear away completely.