What Am I Supposed to Do? - 1
“Hoo. Finally done.”
Choi Ye-seo wiped the sweat from her face. Then she closed the warehouse door to the Big Event Hall and came back out. She had spent more than two hours sorting out the all-star boxes.
Before she knew it, it was lunchtime. The employees who had been rushing around seemed to have mostly gone off to eat, and the crackling radio chatter that had been echoing all around her had fallen quiet.
I still didn’t get to see the ritual. I knew the boss was into superstitions, but I never thought he’d actually go so far as to stage a full shamanic rite here.
That was what she was thinking as she looked around.
Now that she was outside, the lobby had already been dressed up quite nicely. The merchandise counter had been neatly arranged, and the waiting chairs had been lined up in tidy rows.
Ye-seo wore a satisfied smile.
So now all I have to do is turn on the screen, connect to the studio, and handle the broadcast.... I’m not even nervous anymore. After putting together big events back to back, efficiency really does seem to improve like crazy.
Humans really were creatures of adaptation, weren’t they?
Last year, when they were still a tiny, struggling outfit, she had been sweating over how to stretch the 2 million won in production funds that Live Future had provided. But after the Big Plan kicked in, she was able to prepare even 1 billion-won-scale events with practiced ease.
Even lesson work and cover recording feel like they’re improving to a degree I can’t even compare with before. Like I said, you’ve got to throw yourself against things a lot.
Maybe it was because of that.
Maybe her abilities as a broadcaster or manager had grown by a whole level....
“....”
Ye-seo corrected her own thought.
It wasn’t her growth alone.
On the contrary, because money was pouring in, they could prepare like this with room to breathe and seize opportunities when they came. And she shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking all of that came purely from her own ability.
Purely.
It was an opportunity that had come to her through someone’s favor.
“Big man....”
She muttered it without thinking.
And then, from behind her, a familiar voice called out.
“Clara unni!”
“!”
Ye-seo turned around.
It was A-young calling her. Berryli Princess, who had been spraying perfume on a teddy bear upstairs just a little while ago, had come down into the lobby carrying a box with both hands.
Ye-seo said to her, “Did the alcohol smell wear off?”
“Yeah. It must have been stronger than I expected, because the smell faded really fast. After a few sprays, it went right back to the Berryli Special scent.”
“Aww, good for you, Berryli Princess. You were making such a big deal out of being mad at the representative earlier. Feeling better now?”
“Tch. It’s not like I was upset because of the work itself. I was worried the fans would be disappointed.”
“Aww....”
Ye-seo poked at A-young’s slightly puffed cheeks. They made little popping sounds, like a blowfish gently leaking air.
For Ye-seo, who was from Jeju Island, it was a surprisingly familiar sound.
It really does sound like a blowfish.
Because of that little joke, A-young shook her cheeks back and forth.
“A-young, what’s in the box?”
“Ah.... This.”
She set the box down on the chair beside her. Then she tore the wrapping away, and colorful pieces of honey rice cake revealed themselves inside, still springy as though they had just been made.
Looking at them, Ye-seo gave a wry smile.
“Ah, so it arrived too late to go on the offering table after all.”
“Yeah, but the shaman unni said it was fine. This wasn’t a ritual about clashing with bad things, so once everything was over, we could eat what had been on the table.... So we’re just sharing it among ourselves now.”
“Then let’s eat here too. The honey rice cakes never even made it onto the table anyway.”
“Sounds good.”
The two of them sat down and took out one rice cake after another to eat. As they chewed, they started talking again. Ye-seo was the first to open her mouth.
“Did A-yeong leave on time?”
“Yeah. She said since she was getting the mastered audio for the performance anyway, she wanted to use it for her lesson work too.”
“Goodness, she’s energetic. Youth is a beautiful thing.”
“Listen to you. You’re still in your twenties.”
“I’ll be thirty the day after tomorrow. These days, the day after a lesson, my back hurts so much I could cry. A-yeong and Do-dam, who are in their early twenties, can run two shifts, three shifts, no problem. Hoo.... I’m going to end up buried in an editing room and watch the years pass me by without even getting to date anyone.”
“....”
The mood turned strangely solemn. Even to A-young, who was twenty-six, the complaint didn’t feel like someone else’s problem. The sweet honey rice cake was starting to feel like she was chewing gravel.
Watching A-young’s face, Ye-seo snickered mischievously.
“Ah, sorry. I was kidding, haha.”
“Not funny.”
In the middle of that conversation between ladies, someone approached carefully.
“Excuse me....”
“?”
“?”
A small, neat voice.
The one who came up beside Ye-seo and A-young was Seo Eun-hwa. She had been helping with the exhibition on the second floor, and now she had come over to the two of them in the lobby.
Eun-hwa fiddled shyly with her glasses and said, “D-do you happen to know where the section chief went? I went to the second and third floors, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I was wondering if he might have come to the lobby....”
“....”
“....”
At the same time, A-young and Ye-seo both thought of one person.
The section chief.
Within the many companies under the Big Plan, including Aurora Prism Entertainment and Studio Romance, there were countless section chiefs. Just Choi Ye-seo alone was a small-business, slapdash kind of section chief.
But when all those people were gathered together, there was only one person everyone meant when they said “the section chief.” He was Big Man’s loyal underling, and a superhuman who turned a profit on every investment he touched.
Seonwoo Taek, the investment section chief.
And A-young knew where he had gone.
“He went out to lunch with our representative.”
“Eee....”
Eun-hwa’s face turned openly disappointed. She kept glancing outside, looking around for no reason, her eyes full of lingering regret.
“I, I see.... Haha.... Well, he must be busy. Tsk, did he just leave? If I go now.... do you think I could catch up to him?”
“....”
“....”
What were the odds of that?
They thought it, but didn’t say it out loud.
*
Third floor of the Big Event Hall.
Do-dam sat alone in a corner, eating honey rice cake. Aki had gone out before the rice cakes arrived, so she was eating by herself while looking around the hall.
Chew, chew.
“....”
Where did A-young unni slip off to this time....
And then.
The boss too.
...He suddenly went out to eat with the boss.
It would have been nicer to eat together.
“....”
In the end, Do-dam was left alone. But she wasn’t the type to brood over eating by herself, so she didn’t feel especially lonely. She was only a little disappointed.
Just then, an employee carrying a box of honey rice cakes wandered past her, looking around.
He muttered under his breath, “Huh, where did the section chief go....?”
“!”
Do-dam sprang to her feet and walked over to him.
“What’s going on?”
“Ah, this. The leftover rice cakes. We set them aside for the section chief to eat since he was supposed to be here. But all of a sudden, I couldn’t find him anywhere....”
“....”
He must not have seen Seonwoo Taek leave for his lunch appointment because he’d been running back and forth with the truck from the rice cake shop. That was probably why he’d shown up late with the box.
Do-dam pictured Seonwoo Taek slipping away. He had suddenly leaned over and whispered something with the shaman, then made plans to have lunch with Representative Baek Su-cheol.
I think he was whispering about something with the shaman. It was too quiet for me to hear. And it was the first time I’d ever seen the boss look that flustered....
Thinking of Seonwoo Taek’s startled face made the corner of her chest ache for some reason.
“....”
Why?
Why did he look so surprised?
So the boss can make a surprised face too.
For some reason, it bothered her.
What I can do is....
So she took the box from him.
“I’ll bring it to him. Give it to me.”
“Ah, really? That’s a relief.”
The employee handed the box of honey rice cakes over to Do-dam with a relieved expression. Then Do-dam hesitated for a moment and made excuses to herself.
Aki is busy, and everyone has work to do. It makes sense for me, since I know where the convenience store is, to bring it to them. Rice cakes spoil if you leave them out too long, after all. It’s better if they get eaten while they’re still good.
She kept piling excuse upon excuse inside her head.
Just the fact that I’m worried about him didn’t seem like enough on its own.
*
A quiet private room in a Korean restaurant.
While Representative Baek Su-cheol had gone to pour himself some coffee....
“....”
I stared blankly at the bowl in front of me.
I couldn’t tell whether the noodles had gone into my mouth or my nose. Either way, they seemed to have all gone in safely by way of my mouth. The cold noodle bowl in front of me was empty now.
Is it because this is Pyeongyang naengmyeon? I really can’t taste a thing.
“....”
No.
Maybe.
I was just shaken.
Thinking that, I looked at the woman sitting across from me.
“....”
“....”
The shaman named Baek Hyang.
She was still quietly eating her porridge with a spoon. She was a figure dressed all in white, with white hair and a white hanbok, every inch of her swallowed by that pale color. Even the porridge she was scooping into her mouth felt as though it was being drawn into that whiteness.
I said to her, “Um....”
“?”
“That is....”
“....”
Now that I’d opened my mouth, I didn’t know what to say.
So I just stared blankly at the porridge bowl.
“....”
“....”
Even my mind had gone white.
This is the first time someone has realized my regression, so I don’t even know what the hell is going on.
I didn’t know.
Really.
Honestly.
After repeating regression hundreds of times, I thought I was the only one thrashing around in this endless circular arena. But suddenly, I can feel a presence in the stands, where there was no one at all.
Who was this person in front of me?
The one who had caused me to regress?
Or some transcendent being who had suddenly appeared?
The heavens?
A ghost?
A mountain spirit?
Or Big Man?
Well, Big Man is me.
Anyway.
I had no idea what to say.
To me, frozen like that, Baek Hyang chewed on her porridge, swallowed it, and then spoke in a calm, flowing voice. Somehow the atmosphere felt familiar to the point of being creepy.
“You don’t have to rush. We’re connected by fate.”
“F-fate.... you say.”
“So today is the day?”
“Pardon?”
“The return. Back to the past.”
“....”
Uh, uh....
She knew about my regression.
What on earth was this....
Is this what people who have met a miracle feel like?
I barely managed to move my mind, which had gone far away, and my tongue, which had gone stiff.
“No, it’s not.”
“When does it end?”
“July 31.”
“I see. When does it start?”
“May 1.”
“Three months. Long.”
“You think so?”
“Mine was one month.”
“....”
Mine was one month.
That past tense carried everything. That she had directly experienced something similar herself, and that in her case there had been a one-month difference.
And what all of that pointed to was....
No way.
No way....!
“?!”
I could only gape.
“You mean.... you’ve been through regression too?”
“Yes.”
“How many, how many times....”
“Who knows. I kept going until my head turned white.”
“....”
“In the end, my regression ended, but I forgot how many times it happened.”
“....”
It felt like someone had slammed me hard on the head.
“....”
It was over.
It had ended.
So it could end.
It could be finished.
The future.
I could have a future too.
With A-young.
Beside Do-dam.
A future like that....
There was a way.
A regressor.
Someone who had experienced the same thing as me....
There was.
“Uh....”
The world went dark.
It felt as though all the blood had been swept out of me like a tide, draining down through my throat. My head was full of darkness, and it felt like hot air was leaking out of me in spurts.
I felt as if I were swimming and flailing in a black void.
In the end, the strength went out of my hand and my chopsticks dropped.
Clink!
My ears rang.
The sound felt like thunder.
Don’t give up.
Let’s overcome this together.
All I could do was stretch out my hand.
Toward the lifeline that had appeared before my eyes.
I could only reach out with all my might.
“Please.... Tell me how to get out, the way out....”
“....”
“Please, tell me. I’ll give you anything.”
“....”
“I’ll give you anything.... Please. I have people I need to get back now too....”
“....”
Baek Hyang took my hand. Her hand, pale enough to look bloodless, held my lost one in a firm grip. Then she said in an even voice, “Since our fates have touched, I’ll help you. So don’t worry. If your time is running short, we can meet ‘next time’ and I can help then too.”
“N-next regression too....?”
“My own regression ended thirty years ago, so I have no choice but to believe it. And....”
She placed a Five-Colored Thread in my hand.
“...the thing you have to overcome is something only you can do yourself.”
“....”
I could only stare at the Five-Colored Thread in my palm.
“....”
I found it.