The Weight of Unreachable Enlightenment
Or perhaps it was because the subject of Merchant Myeongyu’s sermon was the Dao of Lightning.
"...Therefore, the Dao of Lightning speaks of the instant rather than mere speed. One must focus on the inner sharpness rather than the outward ferocity..."
As Merchant Myeongyu's sermon continued, Jekyeong's spiritual body shook precariously.
Damn it.
Jekyeong had attended the previous two Grand Assemblies and listened to the sermons of several Golden Core cultivators, but it had not been like this then. This particular sermon was exceptionally painful. The issue lay not with Merchant Myeongyu, but with Jekyeong himself.
If he had not understood any of it, he could have just let it wash over him as before. But because he vaguely grasped one or two points, the entire sermon felt like an incomprehensible cipher. And this cipher did not just make his head spin; it threw his mind into utter chaos.
Because of this, Jekyeong had initially suspected that he was falling prey to an inner demon, or that Merchant Myeongyu had played some underhanded trick on him. However, he soon realized it was neither. It was simply that the enlightenment he could not fully grasp had birthed a lingering attachment, and that attachment had turned into a pain gnawing at his mind. In other words, this suffering was entirely self-inflicted.
Was I always this foolish?
This was not emotional self-deprecation, but a cold, objective self-assessment. His foolishness had bred greed, and his greed was now causing him agony. Even knowing this, he could not cast his desires aside, leaving him no choice but to laugh at himself.
Merchant Myeongyu is undoubtedly a master. But his path does not align with mine. I cannot reach it, nor should I try. Therefore, I must let it go.
His intellect understood, but his heart refused to accept it. In this moment, Jekyeong felt as if he were split in two. His rational self calmly observed his state and illuminated the path forward, but his primal nature, nestled deep within, still reached out for the unobtainable like a petulant child.
"Whew."
At some point, Jekyeong could no longer hear Merchant Myeongyu's words. Instead, he began to wrestle with the petulant child within him. His spiritual body flickered, fading as if on the verge of vanishing before snapping back to solid form, over and over again. This fluctuation was distinct enough to be noticed at a glance, but because everyone around him was deeply engrossed in the sermon, no one noticed his distress.
Unreachable enlightenment is nothing but pain. I must discard it.
Jekyeong wrestled with his greed for a long time. Yet, the process was as frustratingly futile as trying to reason with a brick wall. He lost all track of time, unable to tell if Merchant Myeongyu was still speaking. He simply chanted to himself like a mantra, trying to persuade his own greed over and over again. Then, in an instant, the agonizing pain vanished without a trace.
At that exact moment, the Golden Core cultivators waiting quietly for their turn inside the pillars of light opened their eyes. Their spiritual gazes crossed the distance, bypassing countless cultivators to lock onto Jekyeong, who was just regaining his composure.
"Oh?"
"Not bad."
They discerned Jekyeong's state in an instant. Some smiled, while others showed interest and curiosity.
"A member of the Beast Race? That's rare."
"Is that the beast junior the Yu kid mentioned?"
"Yu? Yu Jeonggyeom?"
"Who else could it be?"
Having regained his composure, Jekyeong focused back on Merchant Myeongyu's sermon, utterly unaware that the Golden Core cultivators were discussing him.
After calming his greed, Jekyeong was able to listen to the rest of the sermon without any issues. Although there was still almost nothing he could truly absorb or understand, he made an effort to commit every word to memory. He paid particularly close attention to anything regarding Core Formation. Whatever else happened, he could not afford to miss even the slightest detail about forming a core.
Jekyeong knew that when the time came for him to attempt Core Formation, he would face difficulties incomparable to those of the Great Yao barrier. Since he had forged his own bloodline upon reaching the Great Yao stage, he could expect absolutely no ancestral assistance when forming his core. Nor could he simply copy the methods of the Human Race. Although Jekyeong practiced human cultivation techniques, the power he accumulated was monster power, not dharma power. No matter how much he thought like a human or mimicked them, his fundamental essence was still that of the Beast Race.
However, the path of the Beast Race was open only to a select few. Commoners like him had no choice but to either sit down and curse their unfair fate, or attempt to defy heaven and change their destiny. Jekyeong, of course, chose the latter. He had already carved out his own destiny when crossing the Great Yao barrier, and Core Formation would be no different. In that sense, the vivid experiences of Core Formation shared by the Golden Core cultivators were of immense help to him. Jekyeong intended to use their experiences as a reference to design his own method of forming a core.
There's no need to rush. I must consider this slowly and carefully.
It was similar to when he had deciphered the recipe for the Flood Dragon Blood Ascension Pill. No, he had to be even more cautious than that. The Flood Dragon Blood Ascension Pill was merely a spiritual pill, whereas Core Formation was no exaggeration to say it was the very essence of his immortal path.
"Therefore, though we refer to it collectively as the Golden Core, not all Golden Cores are the same. If you should ever face Core Formation in the future, you must investigate for yourselves which type of Golden Core is most suitable for you."
Jekyeong put aside his thoughts of the distant future and focused on the sermon. Since Merchant Myeongyu had first ascended the stone platform, three other Golden Core cultivators had already finished their lectures. At least a fortnight must have passed since the sermons began, yet the cultivators in the square maintained their absolute focus. Even U Do-baek, whose passion for the immortal path had seemingly cooled long ago, was no exception.
Has there been a change in his mind state?
Perhaps he had gained something from this sermon. Though he currently content with acting as his clan's patriarch and watching over his descendants, he was still a cultivator who had reached the Foundation Establishment Realm. This meant he was someone who had crossed a major barrier and tasted transcendence. The ecstasy of transcendence is something those who have never experienced it can never truly comprehend. Anyone who had tasted it even once, and who still held a shred of hope of moving forward, would never willingly give up.
We'll see.
The sermons continued for several more days. When the final Golden Core cultivator finished speaking and vanished into a pillar of light, the cultivators in the square finally began to release their pent-up emotions. Most sighed in lamentation, but a rare few murmured quietly or laughed as if they had conquered the world.
"Haha."
U Do-baek belonged to neither group. Or rather, he belonged to both. His laughter was quiet, but he was definitely smiling. That smile held a complex mix of emotions beyond mere joy.
"It seems you've had a harvest."
"A harvest? Yes, indeed. I had a harvest," U Do-baek replied in a weary voice to Jekyeong's question. "I didn't understand a single thing the seniors taught. Yet, I clung to it anyway. I struggled desperately, even though I knew it was futile. And then... at some point, it suddenly hit me. I realized just how pathetic and ridiculous I looked."
Only then did Jekyeong understand U Do-baek's smile. It was self-mockery.
"Once I realized that, everything became clear. All this time, I thought I was pursuing the immortal path, but I wasn't. I was simply being chased. Chased by time, chased by fear, and chased by doubt."
Jekyeong couldn't fully comprehend U Do-baek's words. However, judging by the elder's reaction, this change seemed to be a positive one.
"Fellow Daoist Jekyeong."
Jekyeong wanted to speak further with U Do-baek, but he was interrupted by the arrival of Jang Hu-am as soon as the sermon concluded.
"Let us go."
"Was the deal successful?"
"You could say it's halfway there. The rest depends on you."
Jekyeong politely excused himself from U Do-baek and the other cultivators of the Mansi Assembly before following Jang Hu-am. They left the Seonghoejang and traveled in one direction for a full day.
"Most of the seniors do not care for noise," Jang Hu-am explained briefly as they moved, noticing Jekyeong's confusion.
Unlike Foundation Establishment cultivators, distance was of little consequence to Golden Core cultivators, so their choice of residence did not hinder their interactions. Thus, to avoid being bothered by juniors, they often established their dwellings in secluded, sparsely populated areas. Of course, these "dwellings" were merely temporary shelters they occupied while visiting Bulmangwon.
"The senior we are going to meet is Seongsu Jinin."
It was a familiar Daoist name. Jekyeong recalled that Seongsu Jinin was the fourth Golden Core cultivator to deliver a sermon at this Grand Assembly.
"He is a master of the Dao of Medicine, possessing a gentle temperament and an incredibly vast network of connections."
Among Seongsu Jinin's vast and illustrious network was a Demon King, which was precisely why Jang Hu-am had approached him.
"He expressed a desire to see you."
Jekyeong did not find this strange. If a mere Great Yao was trembling in fear after drawing the ire of a Demon King, even he would have been curious.
"You've arrived."
However, after traveling for two more days, they reached a mist-shrouded mountain peak. The moment Jekyeong came face-to-face with Seongsu Jinin, he felt a wave of bewilderment at the cultivator's blatant curiosity, which was far more intense than he had anticipated.
"When the Yu kid said he found an interesting prospect, I didn't pay much attention. Talents appear constantly, but barely a handful of them ever grow properly. That's why I stopped holding expectations long ago."
Seongsu Jinin's manner of speech was entirely different from when he had lectured on the stone platform. It was neither majestic nor mysterious. Instead, he sounded like a talkative old man rambling aimlessly.
"I've heard the gist of your situation, but I wish to hear it directly from the source. So, tell me."
"Tell you what, Senior?"
"Everything."
In an instant, everything ground to a halt. Jekyeong and Jang Hu-am's thoughts, and even the clouds drifting lazily around the mountain peak, froze as if painted onto a canvas.
"I am curious to know what kind of fellow you are."
Only after Seongsu Jinin finished speaking—or rather, only after his permission was granted—could Jekyeong resume his thoughts. Jekyeong was seized by profound shock and terror. What was even more terrifying was that, despite his mental state being so violently shaken, he found himself preparing to dutifully introduce himself.
Am I being controlled?
No, it wasn't such a crude technique. Seongsu Jinin had not done anything. Jekyeong had simply cowered out of sheer, instinctual terror.
Whew.
Jekyeong suppressed the belated wave of shame and the lingering fear, carefully choosing his words. Seeing this, Seongsu Jinin's curiosity grew even deeper.
Jekyeong barely knew what he was saying. It felt as though he were under a hypnotic spell. He spoke on and on. In the midst of it, he had to burn through every ounce of his willpower to avoid revealing what must not be said, the secrets he wished to keep hidden. It was utterly unbelievable. The other party had done him no harm, yet he was trembling and fidgeting in fear all on his own. Jekyeong had never imagined a day would come when he would show such a pathetic display.
He felt a profound sense of helplessness. Was this the power of a Golden Core cultivator? Could all cultivators of the Core Formation Realm truly be like this?
There's no way.
This man, Seongsu Jinin, was exceptional. On their way here, Jekyeong had heard various stories about him from Jang Hu-am. According to Jang Hu-am, Seongsu Jinin was a late-stage Golden Core cultivator.