Chapter 18
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: Dia Hates Ganeghan. (1)
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“Hmm...”
A room where dust and wads of stuffing from teddy bears tumbled chaotically across the floor.
Left alone in the middle of it all, Dia sank deep into thought. Normally, she'd just lie there waiting for her next dose of drugs and call it a day, but today she had something to do.
“Cleaning... How do you even do that?”
It was hygienic to keep things tidy. Dia wasn't so dim that she didn't know that much, but after years of neglecting it, the words slipped out unbidden.
In the past, the servants had handled it for her. But after she'd gone berserk and clawed a maid's face, no one had set foot in her room to clean since.
Sure, the occasional dust in her mouth made her cough, which was annoying, but it was tolerable enough. Once she got her fix, she barely noticed the state of the room anyway.
For other young ladies, a spotless room and fine decorations were extensions of their honor. But Dia never had visitors, and she didn't see any honor in herself to begin with.
“Cleaning as payment...”
Why had he set that condition? Dia tilted her head in puzzlement.
'Maybe my room's so filthy he doesn't want to step inside?'
Young Ganeghan.
Dia murmured the name softly.
Maybe it was his profession as a doctor, but he seemed obsessed with cleanliness. Did that mean her room was dirty enough to really bother him?
Then why not just order the servants to clean it? Or pass the word through Abera?
No matter how he went about it, a little clever maneuvering could've gotten the room cleaned while still securing full payment.
But he insisted on making her do the cleaning? Regardless of his true intentions, it was beyond Dia's grasp.
“...He said he'd save me.”
One moment striking a dramatic pose like some novel hero, spouting cool lines, and now this—off he goes, leaving her with chores.
...Or was all that talk just an elaborate excuse to make her clean?
With a thud, Dia kicked a teddy bear. It sailed limply into the corner, rolling through the dust.
Why make her clean, anyway? she grumbled in a sulky voice.
Or maybe... her room was so gross he didn't even want the payment anymore? So disgusting he never wanted to come back?
“...Is that it?”
Dia scratched her head, lost in thought.
She began replaying her actions toward Ganeghan.
Biting his hand, swinging a knife, cursing him, shoving him with her body.
“Hmm...”
Dizzying memories flashed through her mind. Nothing that would endear her to anyone. She didn't even know how to act nicely.
Room filthy, no warm welcome when he visited. Well, at the end she did hold his hand like he asked, but...
Wild speculations clicked together like puzzle pieces.
And the picture they formed was simple: Keep acting like this, and Ganeghan might never return.
“...Can't have that.”
Dia recalled Ganeghan's face—staring at her with firm eyes as she hurt herself, resolute.
Didn't she want to live differently? She did.
He was the first to guess her thoughts and ask. The first she'd admitted them to, honestly.
Firsts were always special.
Firsts had to be remembered.
She didn't want this to become another tragic first, like the day Abera first glared at her coldly, or first jabbed a needle into her arm, or the day she first overheard the servants cursing her.
“Eh, whatever. I can just do it. Who does he think he's dealing with...”
Just clear away the obvious filth, right? That counts as cleaning.
With that in mind, Dia started gathering the stuffing clumps and mangled teddy bears from the floor.
At first, she shoved them into a corner. But soon realized there was way too much. So she flung open the window and tossed it all outside.
Cough... Cough!
This room really is filthy. Once the dust kicked up, her throat itched so badly she couldn't stifle the coughs.
'Not that hard, though.'
Just chuck the stuffing and bears out the window. She spotted a rusty fork and hurled that too.
Should she toss the knife? She picked it up, stared for a moment, then set it down. Might need it someday.
Why? She wasn't sure.
Somehow, cleaning turned out more fun than expected. A task just challenging enough. Before she knew it, Dia was serious about it.
Then, abruptly, she froze.
Something nagged at her. Not sharp enough to hurt, but heavy, irritating.
What was it? After puzzling, she finally pinned it down.
Ganeghan.
Ganeghan was a man.
Cleaning was his order.
And she was doing it with gusto.
“...It kinda looks like I totally like him, doesn't it?”
Physically an adult for years, but mentally still a pubescent girl locked in her room with drugs—Dia.
To her, this was a huge deal!
Dia hurled a teddy bear out the window and shook her head vigorously.
“No way! He should be the one liking me! He's head over heels, so he's proposing all this stuff to get involved, right? That's gotta be it!”
Hmph. Dia snorted, then dragged the dusty teddy bears piled under the bed out onto the floor.
They were more gray than brown now, caked in grime. Tossing them out would tidy things up nicely, but she didn't.
Instead, she picked them up and scattered them artfully around the room. Coughs came, but she ignored them.
“See? I'm smart.”
This was the young lady's calculated move.
If she cleaned too thoroughly, that idiot doctor might think she liked him. So, clean just enough to be ambiguous.
Obeying, but not too obediently.
“Perfect. Yeah.”
What was there to be so proud of? Still, Dia nodded smugly.
Suddenly she recalled her sister's words from childhood: A true lady always knows how to handle those around her. Was this what she meant?
Anyway, Dia de Menesil's first cleaning session ended like that.
Now that it was done, what next?
The drugs from her personal physician were incredibly potent. Normally, withdrawal would've had her heart pounding and seething with rage by now. But not today.
Must last a good while.
For once, she pondered what to do next.
“Go tell him I'm done...? Nah, crazy talk. No way.”
Going to Ganeghan first? Unthinkable. He should be the one chasing her all day.
“Hungry, but... nah, sleep it is.”
Dia's two go-to ways to kill time: drugs or sleep.
Both passed the hours effortlessly. She didn't know any other ways.
As she flopped onto the bed for a nap—
Something sparkly caught her eye on a teddy bear, amid the dust. Glass shards maybe. And something peeking from under the bed.
'A picture frame?'
Did she shove this in here too? Casually, Dia pulled it out.
“This is...”
The frame held her past.
Her hair wasn't frizzy like now, and that bright smile was one she could never make anymore. But it was definitely her.
A slice of her own history.
How long ago? Much younger. The day Abera took her out for a picnic.
Clutching her sister's hand—safety itself—she'd followed into a reed field taller than herself.
...And the memory of getting her first injection there.
Abera shoving her down flooded back, chilling her to the bone.
A memory she'd rather forget. One she'd buried, along with the feelings. Why now?
“P-Pictures like this can't stay.”
Dia gripped it tight. Tear it, crumple it—something.
But she stopped.
Ganeghan. Again, Ganeghan.
'I'll save you.'
His voice echoed in her ears.
Could a skilled doctor bring back that innocent self?
She hoped so.
She wanted to smile purely again someday.
Please.
Carefully, Dia set the photo on the bed and stood.
“...Might as well tell him cleaning's done. Make him handle the rest.”
Ganeghan was nowhere.
She wandered the mansion, meeting only servants staring at her with wary, fearful expressions. No sign of him.
'He said he was going to sister's room...?'
It was empty. So her feet naturally turned toward Ganeghan's quarters.
First thing she saw: maids blocking the hall, huddled together, holding their breath, fidgeting anxiously.
'Can't get past that crowd...'
No confidence facing all those resentful eyes stone-cold sober.
Instead, she stood at the corridor's end, rising on tiptoes to peer ahead. As the maids shifted, she glimpsed the far side.
'There.'
Moments later: Ganeghan and Abera came into view. Alfred too.
“Hyah, hyauh?!”
Abera's high-pitched cry echoed down the hall.
Ganeghan touched her forehead, and she flushed pink, collapsing weakly.
Sister's face rosy, doctor's expression tender.
“Ah...”
Dia sighed unwittingly.
Liar.
Another worst day.