Morris's Feelings for Emir: Guilt and Baekseol
Gaston Solarion spurred his horse right up to the gates of the Dmitry mansion.
"Hah."
He had sent a letter to Morris Dmitry about his daughter just hours ago, and the reply had come almost immediately.
"I cannot go, so I will send another expert."
That single line was all it said.
"The nerve..."
Gaston Solarion bristled at Morris's refusal of his request. He'd always felt that way about him. The guy had no luck, no charm. Even when the engagement was broken off, Morris had accepted the outcome with such calm indifference, as if he'd seen it coming all along. As if he had nothing left to regret.
Thanks to that, the duke had managed to end the betrothal smoothly, but who knew it would ignite such a fire in his daughter's heart? And now things had come to this.
He'd waited for his daughter to come around. He'd thought it best if she, still harboring feelings for Morris, chose marriage on her own terms. But the two never came together.
For some reason, Emir had shut herself away one day, refusing food and drink. She'd pined for Morris every day, sending him letters, or so he'd heard. But she hadn't even received a proper reply.
It had been a whole month now.
Should I have intervened?
He wondered if he should have forced Morris into the marriage somehow. But regrets were always too late, no matter how quickly they came. Rather than dwelling on "I shouldn't have," Gaston Solarion's way was to devise a better plan.
"Count Morris Dmitry!"
The duke stormed into the mansion. At that moment, with his recent attainment of Swordmaster realm, nothing could stop him.
He crossed the wide courtyard and flung open the mansion's front doors.
Bam!
"You've arrived?"
An elderly man who appeared to be the butler bowed politely.
"Where is Count Dmitry?"
The duke demanded, breathing heavily. His demeanor suggested he'd rip the man's head off if he didn't answer.
"The master is currently handling personal matters."
Sebastian bowed his head.
"I need to see him now."
"That won't be possible. If you could wait just a moment..."
"I've watched my daughter suffer for a month! I even sent a letter explaining the situation! And now you're telling me to wait in the lobby like some commoner?"
Gaston Solarion bared his teeth with a growl.
"Absolutely not."
Sebastian met the duke's murderous aura head-on with calm composure, bowing once more.
"Even if you say that..."
"You just don't get it!"
Gaston shoved Sebastian aside and headed deeper into the mansion, straight toward the room where he sensed Morris's presence in a corner wing.
"Count Dmitry, I know you're in there! So come out right..."
The duke threw open the door.
Inside was Morris, stark naked, fiercely entangled with two women in his office.
"Nngh!"
The red-haired woman had already passed out, lying on the floor with only her chest heaving faintly. She seemed unconscious.
And the platinum blonde beneath Morris as he thrust his hips...
Seria?
The daughter of Siegfried, whose status had been executed?
"I love it, Master! Woof! Woof! Fuck this bitch's pussy harder! Woof!"
"Who told you to speak human words?"
"Woof!"
The woman, lost to reason, panted and barked wildly on her own.
No, not her.
Upon closer look, it wasn't Seria. She was... more mature, somehow? He'd mistaken her due to the striking resemblance.
"Ahem!"
Not a sight to linger on, the duke cleared his throat to draw attention.
Morris finally glanced over, noticing the duke.
"Ah, you've come?"
Morris hurriedly donned a robe.
"W-wait, just a bit more, more..."
The woman clung to his leg, pleading.
Morris bound her to a chair with magic.
"Forgive the unseemly display. My apologies."
"No matter. These things happen. My fault for barging in so rashly. Ahem."
"As you see, I was satisfying some ladies."
"A man ought to."
Now fully robed, Morris asked, "What brings you here?"
"Are you seriously asking why I'm here?"
"I did send a reply. I've been seeking out a healing expert as a result."
"While entangled with those women?"
"They sought my favor, so I obliged."
"Even if we don't meddle in nobles' private lives, this is a bit much."
"Duke."
Morris regarded him coolly.
"We're not particularly close, are we? This level of interest feels burdensome."
"Hah, you..."
With no retort to "not particularly close," the duke fell silent. After all, he'd been the one to ruin the engagement.
"Emir fell ill pining for you. Can't you help?"
"She's no one to me."
Morris's expression grew colder.
"She's suffering because she can't forget you."
"I know."
"And you still say that?"
"That's precisely why I can't go. The lady of Solarion, bedridden from unrequited love. If the object of her affection visits her bedside, what rumors do you think will fly?"
"I can quash any such rumors."
"Just as you ended our betrothal?"
"Hoo."
"You made us strangers, Duke."
Gaston clenched his eyes shut.
"Dmitry and Solarion are strangers now, aren't we?"
"At least come once, seeing my face."
"Can you truly handle the consequences?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know what I might do to Lady Solarion?"
"That's no joke."
"For treatment, I might do things one shouldn't."
The duke and Morris locked eyes, sparks flying between them.
"If she recovers, that's enough."
"...Understood. But I can't just go for free. We need a deal."
"Planning to renew the betrothal with favorable terms for our house?"
Morris shook his head.
"A message for His Majesty, then?"
"I could do that myself."
"What do you want?"
The duke couldn't fathom what this young archmage desired.
"I'll collect on this debt later."
"That's what scares me most."
"Reluctant?"
"No, I accept. You're my only option now. However."
Fire lit in the duke's eyes.
"If Emir doesn't improve, prepare yourself. I'll tally every bit of your insolence. Solarion never forgets."
"Don't worry about it."
I went with Duke Solarion to the Solarion mansion.
Guided by him, I found Emir lying in bed, breathing raggedly. Her lips were parched, her face lifeless. She grimaced in pain.
Her golden hair had lost its luster, her body so frail it seemed it might snap at a touch.
Has she been this ill?
A sharp pang twisted in my chest. It was Morris's lingering emotions—his affection for Emir still.
My resolve to handle this coldly and get it over with crumbled the moment I saw her face.
She must have suffered so much.
I averted my gaze. On her desk were stacks of letter envelopes.
Letters she'd sent daily. To make her give up, I'd deliberately returned them unopened.
She kept all of them.
I closed my eyes. Even the determination I'd steeled before coming unraveled.
I'm sorry.
This wasn't Morris's feeling. It was guilt welling from my own heart.
I was the one who'd wounded her to shake her off.
I'd vowed to be cold for her sake, but seeing her suffering in those letters made me shut my eyes.
"Absolutely not! The patient needs rest!"
"Your Grace, healing magic? Her body is too weak now!"
"If it worked, we'd have cured her with our divine power already!"
The priests tending Emir desperately blocked me from touching her.
"How long do you think I'll ask nicely?"
The duke's face darkened as he eyed them.
"Move, unless you want to die."
I took his words.
Leader of the imperial faction and Magic Minister. No matter how stubborn the priests, they couldn't stop us.
I brushed past them and placed my hand on Emir's forehead.
"H-how dare you touch an unmarried lady!"
The priests, sticklers for propriety, gasped in horror.
Ignoring them, I gathered mana in my palm.
Cure, Heal, Recovery—every healing spell I knew, combined. Antidote for poison, mental restoration, physical fatigue relief.
"It won't work! Your Grace, stop this lewd act at once!"
"It's Morris Dmitry, infamous for cruelty! Who knows what he'll do to the lady!"
"It won't work. Many priests have tried."
"Lady Solarion has magic repulsion..."
The priests' chatter was annoying, but I ignored it.
I'm sure it'll be fine. I was certain.
Warm light from my hand enveloped Emir's body.
Was she subconsciously rejecting treatment? The healing magic couldn't pierce the mana barrier covering her.
If you refuse treatment...
I had no choice but to force it. I ramped up the output.
Hummm!
My circles spun fiercely. The healing magic from my hand slowly breached the barrier.
Bit by bit, it reached her body.
An hour passed with no improvement, and the priests' voices grew louder.
How much longer? Then...
"Nngh..."
A response. Emir's pained expression eased under the light.
She, who hadn't even breathed properly in unconsciousness, made her first sound.
"I-is this possible...?"
"What even the high priests couldn't do... A miracle!"
"The gods are watching over Lady Solarion."
The priests who'd called it lewd moments ago flipped their stance instantly.
"Nngh."
Emir groaned.
"Is she alright?"
Duke Solarion, watching his daughter, asked.
"She should be. It's a sign of improvement."
"I see."
His expression lightened.
"Duke, could you take the priests out for a bit? Too many people, hard to focus."
"Ah, yes. Don't worry."
The duke's gaze on the priests turned stern.
"Your Grace, a priest must stay by the patient!"
"We experts should..."
"Get these useless fools out now."
Having cleared the priests, the duke looked at me.
"Then, I leave it to you."
With that, he left the room too.
"Hoo."
The tension in my face eased. Twisted by Morris's affection and my guilt, my expression had been a mess. Anyone seeing it would say I looked ready to burst into tears.
I didn't want them to see this face.
I closed my eyes and stroked Emir's hair.
My heart ached. It wasn't born of love. Closer to pity and guilt.
She was suffering like this because I'd been so ruthless.
But I can't accept a relationship with her.
Grind!
My jaw hurt—had I clenched unconsciously?
Don't deny it. This was my doing.
No excuses like fighting Lilith in Seria, or being too busy.
You knew. That Emir would suffer, that something like this could happen.
You just pretended not to know. Optimistically thinking a strong girl like her would endure.
Stupid bastard.
Self-loathing surged after so long. Teeth ground at the thought of imperfection. Blood trickled between my gums.
I was furious at myself for being capable of no more. Irritated.
"Emir, how should I treat you?"
Seeing you hurt pains me. I want you to wake and recover soon.
I know this isn't love.
Yet why does this body keep screaming that it loves you?
"I'm sorry."
Truly, for making you suffer because of me.
One hand stroked her hair, the other poured healing magic.
Emir's face grew peaceful.
This should do it.
The mana barrier that had subconsciously blocked healing was gone.
Even a novice mage's Heal would work now.
After a final check, I stepped out.
"Where are the priests?"
"All chased off. Can't have useless idiots in my mansion."
"I see."
"How's Emir?"
"Improving. Regular healing spells, and she'll wake soon."
"Really?"
"Broke the mana barrier, so even apprentice Heals will work."
"Treating Solarion blood. I'll hire the best mage."
"Then I'll go. I'll check back next week."
"Thank you."
My tasks were done. Head spinning from feelings for Emir and my mistakes.
In the end, it was all because of me.
You prepared for this. That's why you were colder.
I told my hesitating self firmly.
But this damned body differed from my mind.
It screamed to go back, to stay until she woke.
Don't be ridiculous.
If I stayed, she'd harbor false hope again. Obsession would deepen, lingering attachment grow.
Just like my body now.
I can't accept the betrothal. I know how cruel it is to give affection then rip it away.
This time, since she's unconscious and can't see me, I accepted.
I won't meet Emir's eyes again.
This is the last time. When she wakes, I won't be by her side.
I stepped out to shake off the thoughts. To dispel the crushing emotions.
I trudged through the capital streets. Head throbbing.
"Hah."
I wanted any woman. To forget these foolish feelings for Emir, anything would do.
Seria? No. Her body was worn from before, and she wasn't the one for these emotions.
Elise? Not enough.
Luis wasn't right, and Lilith would only remind her of wounds.
No one?
A brothel girl? No high-class whore could shake these feelings now.
Returning to the mansion in escape, I spotted Baekseol.
Baekseol in the garden, sulkily gazing at flowers.
I approached her.
"Baekseol."
"Ah, Morris."
Seeing me, she erased her pout and smiled brightly.
I looked down at her. White skin, petite stature, silver hair sparkling more than her skin.
Was this child always so beautiful? I'd taken her as a hostage so casually, I hadn't noticed.
But why now?
I don't know.
Am I worn out too?
If even to this girl craving my seed, I want to lean...
But I couldn't stop my mouth.
"Want to come to my room?"
Baekseol's face flushed crimson. She knew exactly what that meant.