I Overheard the Ice Princess's Hidden Secret...
The hellish fifth-period advanced English class finally ended.
As the teacher closed her textbook and headed for the classroom door, I felt it in my bones.
'Oh crap. I'm done for.'
The bell that usually rang like a salvation for normal students was sounding exactly like the growl of a pig being dragged to the slaughterhouse right now.
- Tock. Tock. Tock.
The frantic tapping of a ballpoint pen from my neighbor's desk.
Even without turning my head, I could feel it in my skin—the way Seo-ah's orange eyes were laser-focused on the lipstick mark on the back of my neck.
"Hey. Han Si-woo."
- Thud.
Seo-ah's grip clamped onto my shoulder like a vice.
"Blow on it straight. What is that red mark on the collar of your shirt? What is it?"
"I-It's... It's ketchup! When I was eating in the cafeteria earlier, I was stuffing sausages and it splattered!"
It was the best, and most stupid, excuse I could come up with on the spot.
"Haa? Ketchup~~?"
Seo-ah's eyebrows twitched.
"Umm..."
Right then, the girl sitting in front of me, who had been flipping bread on the teacher's desk earlier, suddenly lifted her head. She leaned in like a cat sniffing the air, snorting toward the lipstick mark on my neck.
"Sniff sniff... Lie."
"W-What do you mean, lie?!"
"This... smells like tinted lipsticks with berry-mix scent. And it comes from a pretty expensive brand. There's not even a trace of that sour ketchup smell."
No way. When did this crazy cat become a cosmetics expert?!
Her sharp analysis made a vein pop visibly on Seo-ah's forehead.
"Oho? Expensive lipstick? Our Si-woo applies lipstick not to his lips but to clothes~?"
"Which shameless girl stamped that on our Si-woo's neck~? Maybe the third-year girl I passed by in the hallway earlier? Or...?"
Si-a gave me a sultry eye smile and whispered right next to my ear.
"Did you really... shoot a bed scene with the homeroom teacher on the infirmary bed?"
"Hiiik!!"
My shoulder, hit dead center, jumped like a fish on a hook.
Si-a, that sharp-eyed gal who's been on the ball for years, just how much of this is she figuring out already?!
"It's not true! It's really ketchup! Aaaah!!"
Seo-ah pinched and twisted the lipstick mark on my neck with her fingers.
This wasn't a harem situation anymore. It felt like a 24-hour surveillance prison had been set up.
How the hell did harem protagonists deal with this pressure and still laugh and hang out with their cute heroines like it was nothing?
Damn it. Anime is just anime, after all.
***
Somehow, the ice-smooth sixth and seventh periods passed miraculously.
Finally, all the regular classes of the first day of school were over, and it was time for the closing ceremony.
- Druuurk.
The front door opened and Homeroom Teacher Ji-hye stepped in.
"Well... everyone... thanks for your hard work from the very first day..."
The teacher looked a little flushed, probably remembering the incident at the cafeteria, as she stood in front of the desk.
Fortunately, she had already changed into gym pants instead of her skirt.
"Before the closing ceremony, I'll give you one notice. Every afternoon after school our school has a duty roster for cleaning the classroom. Since today is the first day of enrollment, we'll draw randomly and fairly. Is that okay...?"
...Random?
The moment I heard the word "random," an indescribable unease hit me.
Wait... no way...?
I swallowed hard and watched the teacher pull up the phone on her desk.
"Let me see... The result of the random draw is... Cha Ga-eun and Han Si-woo. You two have cleanup duty today. Please take good care of it."
'... Wat the fuck.'
I instinctively turned my head toward the front row.
Cha Ga-eun.
The ice princess who had just called me trash with her mouth earlier was still sitting there with an expressionless face, packing her bag and tapping the desk with her fingers.
Me and this girl alone in the classroom to clean? Cleaning coal at the Aoji coal mine would probably be healthier for my mental health.
"Damn it, Si-woo got cleanup duty?"
"I was gonna go to the academy third period and hang out at some nice café together, but whatever."
"Unyaam... Even the cat tree's gonna be cleaned? Then I could sleep here too..."
Seo-ah, Si-a, and Eun-ha were starting to crowd around my seat again. I panicked and waved my hands.
"No no! Everyone go home and rest! First day of school, you're all gonna be super tired! Hurry!!"
Because I was so adamant, Seo-ah pouted her lips but said, "Got it. See you again tonight at home. Mom made something delicious." She slung her bag over her shoulder. Si-a also left with her weird farewell, "See you tomorrow, handsome trash~."
Eun-ha was literally pulled out like a cat by the teacher.
"Then, Si-woo student. Please take good care of the cleaning... Oh, and I'll wash your jacket and bring it back tomorrow. Thank you..."
After thanking me, the teacher walked out of the classroom at a brisk pace.
- Bang.
The back door closed, leaving only the deep orange sunset light and the two of us—me and Ga-eun—in the classroom.
"..."
"..."
An eerie silence that felt like it could drive anyone crazy.
Even the air felt cold and heavy, the sound of breathing visible in the dust motes on the floor.
I awkwardly scratched the back of my head and grabbed the broom.
Ga-eun quietly picked up the chalk eraser and walked toward the teacher's desk.
'Haa... Let's finish this quick and go.'
***
After about ten minutes of silent sweeping.
- Scratch. Tock.
While shaking off the chalk dust, Ga-eun set the eraser down and turned her back to me, speaking in a cold voice.
"... You really are good at this."
"Huh?"
"From the very first day of school, you won't stop dragging the other girls in the class around, and now even the homeroom teacher? I can already see right through your scheme for coming to this school. I'm about to puke."
Clear hostility laced her voice.
Actually, at this point I was at my limit.
What the hell had I done to this girl that she was spouting this garbage?
I slammed the broom down and fired back from behind her.
"Hey. You misunderstood. Nothing happened with the teacher. I just helped her up when she fell in the cafeteria. The lipstick mark is just from accidentally brushing against her while helping."
"Coincidence?"
Ga-eun whipped her head around and glared at me.
The red sunset light filtering through the window dyed her snow-white hair bright red.
"That 'coincidence' excuse is the usual repertoire of horny males. Isn't it?"
"Have you said everything? When did I ever—"
"Shut up. Don't talk if you're just gonna smell like something."
Ga-eun cut me off sharply and turned back toward the blackboard.
Ah, that stubborn, broken personality.
Yeah, just as if I was born evil.
I was supposed to explain myself to a wall?
So I started sweeping again, fuming.
But then.
"Kuuu..."
Ga-eun was struggling to reach the very top of the blackboard, holding the long-handled eraser up high.
With her body slightly shorter than the average female student, even stretching her arms couldn't quite touch the writing at the top.
"... Eut."
With a small groan, she hopped and flailed the eraser around clumsily.
It didn't match the perfect, icy cold image of the ice princess at all.
'I could just wipe it for her.'
I had the thought, but remembering her earlier insults, I crossed my arms and watched her like it was the most fascinating show ever.
"Eut, Cha... Argh...!"
Her weight shifted backward the moment she stood on tiptoe to reach.
Her foot slipped off the edge of the old teacher's desk she was standing on.
"Watch out!"
- Pat!
My body moved before my head did.
In one fluid motion I lunged forward, catching Ga-eun's waist with both arms as she tumbled backward.
- Huk! Thud!
"Kyaa...?!"
A ridiculously cute scream came out of the ice princess's mouth.
My solid chest met her back head-on.
At the same time, my left arm wrapped tightly around her thin, flexible waist.
"Y-You... what...!!"
Ga-eun's head snapped up in surprise.
- Tock. Degrurr.
One of the wireless noise-canceling earbuds she had been wearing all day came flying out of her ear and rolled across the classroom floor.
Hey, you were wearing earbuds even when you were talking to me? Seriously, this is hopeless.
While I was muttering that, the Bluetooth connection between the earbud and her phone cut out from the impact.
And before long.
[Sey~no...! Demon hand joke dame~ Demo...]
From the speaker of her phone, a soft, sweet female voice began singing in the dead-quiet classroom.
"..."
"..."
Time seemed to stop.
Inside the suffocating silence where you could hear a single grain of chalk dust rolling across the floor, the heroine's sweet, sugary song played sweetly.
I looked down at Cha Ga-eun's face in my arms.
- Wahak...!
The pale, cold face of the ice princess flushed bright red from her neck all the way to her ear tips in just one second.
"... You."
Her lips twitched as she finally managed to speak.
"I thought you were listening to something classical... Your taste... is really... good?"
"... Eut!!"
- Puuuuk!!!
"Kuhuaaak!!!"
Ga-eun's elbow jabbed straight into my solar plexus.
Air caught in my throat as I collapsed onto the classroom floor.
"Y-You'll kill me...!! Erase everything you heard!! Erase it from your brain, you horny trash!!"
The school's top-ranked ice princess, who had never raised her voice in her entire life.
With tears welling up in her eyes, she snatched her phone and ran out of the back door without looking back.
The only thing left was me, curled up on the floor clutching my aching chest.
"Cough... Ah, it hurts, you crazy ice witch..."
While rubbing my sore chest, I picked up the fallen chalk eraser.
But strangely, I couldn't stop the idiotic grin spreading across my lips.
This secret had been there the whole time... Ga-eun.