Fuck Off
Fuck Off
[Target route failed.]
[Saint Elisia's favorability has reached -100.]
[You have been referred to the Divine Tribunal.]
[ENDING 147 ― The End of an Impious Bug]
"...."
I slowly took my hand off the mouse while staring at the text floating on the monitor.
I have no idea how many times I've seen that exact screen.
When on earth will I be able to raise that damn girl's favorability to +100?
Attempting to clear Elisia's route, precisely the 9,999th try.
Failed again.
The Saint raising simulation game, 《Saint Maker》.
Judging by the title alone, it seems like an ordinary raising sim where you raise a Saint properly, but in reality, it's a high-difficulty strategy game rampant with politics, secret feuds, war, and religious conflicts.
Of course, depending on which Saint you chose, a happy-happy raising life was possible.
Among the Saints you could pick from a variety of flavors, Elisia was special.
[Unclearable.]
The only Saint officially nailed down by the developers as impossible to clear.
Yet, ironically, she was a character you could actually attempt to clear.
No matter which option you picked, her favorability dropped; if you gave her a gift, she burned it calling it an insult; and if you treated her kindly, she interrogated you saying you had sinister motives—a total crazy bitch.
Furthermore, if you kept your distance, she killed you for ignoring her, and if you stepped closer, she killed you for crossing the line.
I didn't even know what the hell I was supposed to do.
Even when I recorded the highest favorability, the ending was death by poisoning.
Favorability 87.
That was my record high after 9,999 attempts.
And through this wealth of experience, I figured out what I needed to do.
This crazy bitch doesn't listen to nice words.
Should I call her a bit of a masochist?
To become the master of a mad dog, I had to become a mad dog myself.
"Alright."
I clicked the New Game button.
"Let's do this one more time."
Just one more time.
This is truly the last time.
It's the 10,000th time, so it's time for me to graduate.
Who knows?
Maybe I'll hit a buzzer-beater and succeed right on the 10,000th try.
What Elisia hates the most is kindness.
In that case, I just need to do the exact opposite.
"This time, I'm going in like a total lunatic from the start."
It's not that I hadn't tried acting like a lunatic during my countless retries.
But I always kept a reasonable boundary.
This time, boundaries be damned, I intend to go completely wild.
Without hesitation, I pressed the Start button.
[Number of attempts to clear Elisia route has reached 10,000.]
[May your devotion be rewarded.]
[May your path ahead be filled only with flowers.]
It was text I had never seen before.
Immediately after, the screen flashed pure white.
"Huh?"
Light poured out from the monitor.
It was so sudden that I didn't even have time to close my eyes.
My vision flipped upside down, and my chair vanished.
With the sensation of my body being sucked into midair, my consciousness snapped.
And when I opened my eyes again, I was looking at an unfamiliar ceiling.
"...Holy shit."
The voice that popped out was strange.
It was thinner and clearer than usual.
Wondering what on earth this voice was, the hand that groped my neck was also excessively white and small.
"No way, right...?"
Holding onto a slim 'it can't be' thought, I sat up from the bed.
A heavy weight around my chest moved along, and black hair hanging down to my waist cascaded over my shoulders like silk.
In the mirror opposite the bed stood a woman I had never seen in person before.
Lush black hair.
Golden eyes with a reddish hue.
A smoothly curved waist and long, straight legs.
The 22-year-old woman's body revealed beneath the thin nightgown was unfamiliar yet breathtakingly beautiful.
However, I knew the woman in the mirror.
Rhea Valentia.
Saint Elisia's seventeenth aide, with the longest survival record of 134 days.
Cause of death: Poisoning by the Pope.
"I'm fucked."
Laughter burst out involuntarily.
A hollow laugh, of course.
To think they prepared such a horrific gift just because it was the 10,000th time.
What 'path filled with flowers'?
I'm about to have a funeral at this rate.
Preparing my mind in advance, I looked at the calendar.
A large red circle was drawn on the calendar over today's presumed date.
That's right, today was the day Rhea—who was now me—met Elisia for the first time.
And the original story begins.
Knock, knock.
"Aide Rhea-nim. The Saint is waiting for you."
A trembling voice came from outside the door.
Realizing the time had come, I slowly got off the bed with the mindset of livestock being dragged to the slaughterhouse.
Even so, I have no intention of dying like this.
Sure, I'm scared, but I have to try as much as I can.
Honestly, after dying 9,999 times, isn't it worth clearing her at least once?
.
.
.
Following the attendant nun, the Saint's office I arrived at was excessively magnificent.
Columns decorated with platinum and a ceiling engraved with sacred paintings—
The sunlight passing through the window filtered through stained glass depicting holy wars, scattering jewel-like light across the floor.
And right in the middle of it sat Elisia, harboring a beauty that surpassed everything.
"I greet the Saint...?"
The moment I actually saw her in person, I was temporarily rendered speechless.
She was beautiful enough in the in-game illustrations.
Well, that's because they were drawn to be pretty.
However, the real Elisia was not at a level human hands could dare capture in a drawing.
Silver-white hair that looked like spun moonlight flowed down below her chair.
A black veil half-wrapped around her fair, smooth shoulders, subtly shimmering atop her voluminous hair.
The face revealed beneath the ornate holy crown was excessively exquisite.
Her blue eyes were clearer than ice, yet they looked more dangerous than beautiful.
The black-and-white Saint robes clinging to her body distinctly outlined her slender waist.
Though her chest area was decorated with holy emblems and jewels, it only highlighted her voluptuous curves more brazenly.
Her long, smooth legs were leisurely crossed one over the other, showing composure.
Possessing indescribable beauty, Elisia rested her chin on her black-gloved fingers, staring intently at me.
'This won't be easy.'
It was crystal clear that she was more arrogant than anyone.
Her gaze showed she took it for granted that she was beautiful, strong, and that no one in this world could dare disobey her.
And it was also a look that considered all of that to be completely natural.
From now on, I have to talk back to someone like this.
It might look like madness, but this actually holds the highest survival rate.
"Come closer."
I walked right up to her as summoned.
Elisia's chilly gaze slowly scanned me.
From my face to my neck, from my neck to my chest, past the tightly cinched waist of my aide uniform, down to the legs extending beneath my black skirt.
This is not a look used to view a person.
I can be certain of it.
No person looks at another human being with those eyes.
This is the eye evaluating the quality of newly arrived merchandise.
"Kneel."
With Elisia's words, the original story began.
If it were in the game, options like these would have appeared right now.
[1. It is an honor, Saint-nim.]
[2. May I ask the reason?]
[3. Silently kneel.]
In the game, you had to pick option 2 no matter what.
Although her favorability dropped all the same, at least you survived.
The other options meant total death.
However, I am currently in reality.
There's no need to follow preset options.
Therefore, I created a fourth option.
"I refuse."
The air in the office ground to a halt.
The faces of the priests standing by the door turned pale as death.
Elisia's red lips parted ever so slightly.
"...What did you just say?"
"I said no. Did you not hear me?"
Kwaaang...!
An invisible pressure shook the entire office.
Windows rattled, and the holy relics hanging on the wall shook violently.
The priests by the door let out groans and collapsed onto the floor.
The entity most beloved by God.
A monster who could crush an entire legion with just a fraction of her divine power.
An ordinary person wouldn't even have been able to breathe.
Even though I knew this, my knees trembled as well.
Still, thanks to becoming Rhea, I was able to avoid falling to my knees.
The trait of Rhea, Elisia's aide.
It was thanks to the Indomitable trait, which bestowed an unyielding heart.
On top of that, thanks to the remaining presence of the Player's Authority from the game for some reason, I could also summon quite a bit of nerve.
Cold sweat trickled down my spine, and my heart pounded as if to shatter my ribs, but I didn't show it.
If I back down here, it's over.
The moment you show your back to a mad dog, your throat gets torn out.
So I must become a mad dog too.
I stepped forward through the pressure, reached out, lightly grabbed Elisia's chin, and pulled it up so she had to look up at me.
At my audacious action, Elisia's eyebrows twitched minutely.
"You have no fear."
"I am scared."
"And yet you do shit like this? Dare to do this to the Saint?"
"Because I have to fix your temper, Saint-nim, before it gets even scarier."
Upon hearing my words, one of the priests suffering on the floor practically had a fit and started coughing violently.
Triggered by that sound, Elisia rose from her chair.
Standing up from her seat, she was tall.
She was already slightly taller than me, but because she was wearing high heels, her eye level was a bit higher than mine.
Did I get smaller...?
It's a shame that I'm short.
Anyway, as a result, I now had to look up at Elisia.
Every time her straight legs moved slowly beneath her garment, silver hair swayed gently along the curves of her waist and hips.
I pulled back my gaze, which struggled not to wander over there, and feigned confidence.
Meanwhile, Elisia's face approached right in front of my nose.
A cold fragrance wafted over.
It was a scent like a white rose blooming in the middle of a snowy winter dawn.
"What are you looking at?"
She leaned down slightly as if she were about to devour me whole.
Silver hair cascaded down over my shoulders.
It was close enough that our breaths touched.
My face was reflected in her blue eyes.
Elisia was smiling.
It was the beautiful smile she only showed right before killing someone she didn't like.
I countered by smiling right back at her with absolute confidence.
Because I knew.
I knew Elisia wanted someone who wasn't afraid of her.
To be precise, she wanted someone who was crazy.
"Aren't you going to lower your eyes?"
I gave her the exact same smile and lightly brushed aside the silver bangs tickling the tip of my nose, speaking.
"Fuck off."
Silence.
Absolute, perfect silence.
Elisia's smile vanished.
This is actually a relief.
Because not smiling means she has started to be on guard.
How do you like that?
How's the skill of an aide who completely cracked your taste after trying to romance you 9,999 times?
What was today's schedule again?
"Let's check today's schedule first. 10:00 AM blessing ceremony at the Great Temple, 1:00 PM orphanage visit, and 3:00 PM Cardinals' meeting."
"I'm not going to any of them."
"You're going to all of them."
"I don't want to."
"I'm dragging you there."
"Try me."
You think I won't?
Besides, if I drag you, you're gonna go anyway.
You masochistic bitch who loves high-handed treatment.
I was about to drag her along as is, but I decided to ride this momentum and firmly establish my dominance before moving.
"From now on, three things are forbidden."
"...Forbidden? Dare to say that to me?"
"Skipping meals. Burning reports. Killing people just because you're in a bad mood—all forbidden."
"...Why should I listen to you?"
Instead of answering, I turned around and picked up the documents stacked on the desk.
At that, Elisia spoke to me in a voice trembling with fury.
She probably wants to kill me, but she can't because she doesn't know where she'd ever find another lunatic like this.
Go ahead, kill me if you can.
"Let's see how long you can remain that arrogant."
I opened the document folder.
"You'll be watching it for the rest of your life."
I didn't know back then.
That those words wouldn't be a provocation, but a prophecy.
That in the future, Elisia would grab my wrist and ask with a face looking ready to murder someone if I took even a single step away:
'Rhea, where are you going?
I told you not to leave me without my permission.'
The me right now didn't know it yet.
The fact that when you succeed in taming a mad dog, that mad dog will take only one person in the whole world as its master.