91. The Pantheon's Diss Battle
91. The Pantheon's Diss Battle
Even if it just looked like ordinary undergrowth, it became an herb if her hand passed over it.
The herb gathering and mushroom gathering missions.
From morning until now, about 3 hours had passed.
The remaining gathering missions were...
"Now, only one 'mushroom' remains."
"......Hwemiii..."
Just one.
It was a perfect example showing that when a person breaks, efficiency can sometimes go up in reverse.
I placed the remaining pouches Minerva had handed me into my subspace backpack.
"The Lustful Clown Mushroom... I know the collection method through the gathering guide."
"But the problem is, unlike the other ones, its growth location is random."
Since it was random, if you were lucky you could find it right at your feet, but if you weren't, you could search all day and never find it.
The silver lining was that while you only learned what kind of mushroom it was after gathering it in the game, now in reality, thanks to a reality correction, I could tell what kind of mushroom it was even before gathering it.
"Then I'll go east, you go west, and let's circle around. Whoever finds it first reports using their 'bracelet'?"
"I will do my best."
"Doing your best is fine, but if you get the collection order wrong, you'll be done for in an instant, you know?"
"There's no way I would make such a mistake, is there."
"Hmm....."
You,
that's a flag.
But more than that, since I glimpsed a hint of madness in Minerva's eyes, I decided to trust her for now.
"We avoid combat as much as possible. Got it?"
"I will begin the search first."
Minerva, seeming like even my voice couldn't reach her anymore, started trudging down the forest path.
'This is a bit worrying...'
Sure enough, should I have forcibly played the [Power Chord] yesterday after all? Her stress was reaching its critical point, looking like it was about to burst at any moment.
"...I'd better finish this quickly."
To be honest, I was also at my limit in many ways.
I lightly slapped my cheeks and refreshed my focus.
Anyway, today was the day.
If I just worked hard today, it would all be over.
"I have to do my best until the very end."
Though to be precise, it was closer to doing things at 'maximum speed'.
Without thinking anymore, I simply examined and re-examined the mushrooms in the forest until a window reading 'Lustful Clown Mushroom' appeared.
...
..
.
"Not showing up..."
This shitty random encounter nonsense.
I circled around rotted tree stumps where mushrooms are frequently seen, damp shaded areas, and riversides, but all that came out were random miscellaneous mushrooms, and not a single one of the mushrooms I was actually looking for appeared.
'Since I'm at it, I'm picking these too, but...'
Along the way, if edible mushrooms or mushrooms that could sell for a high price appeared, I just gathered them up right then.
Among them, some ridiculous things like 'truffles' even came out, but hey, it's a game in the first place. Only a fool would seriously take issue with a game's settings.
"Anyway, I never dreamed I'd see a truffle—hm?"
A single window floated up before my eyes.
[Emergency Mission]
[Gourmet Cuisine for Hera]
-An emergency mission issued by Hera.
-She wishes to be offered a dish made using 'that'.
-My child... if you have something good, offering your mother a first bite is simply good manners.
1. Offer a dish made using truffle (0/1)
2. The higher the quality of the dish, the stronger the reward
Reward: Contribution +10 / Hera's Smile
"....Whoa."
Seems Hera can't resist a truffle either.
Anyway, one curious thing was that while it was called an emergency mission, the penalty for failure wasn't visible.
As I tilted my head at that point, a message window floated up once more.
[An Oracle has arrived.]
[Main God─Hera: Is it not an act lacking common sense to attach a penalty to a mission I issued on a whim.]
"Kh... Sure enough, such a learned person!"
I placed the truffle into my backpack and pondered. Just how should I cook this to satisfy Hera. Roughly going to a nearby restaurant and offering black bean noodles sprinkled with truffle garu was a possible option, but to truly honor Hera, I wanted to stop by a fancy restaurant and offer it there.
"A fancy restaurant, huh..."
Come to think of it, there was a place like that among the date spots. So, once the missions were all over, I decided to drag either Minerva or Mai along and go to a restaurant. If we went there and gave the truffle to the chef, asking them to prepare a dish suited to it, surely they'd make it beautifully.
'Come to think of it, there's no deadline either, is there?'
I didn't feel pressured at all. It seemed it would be fine as long as I didn't just forget about it later.
"On a whole different dimension from certain someone."
As I built up faith towards that person in my heart, another message window floated up.
[Emergency Mission]
[Gourmet Cuisine for Cronus]
-An emergency mission issued by Cronus.
-He wishes to be offered a dish made using 'that'.
-Forget not your true Main God.
1. Offer a dish made using truffle (0/1)
2. The higher the quality of the dish, the stronger the reward
Reward: Contribution +10 / Cronus's Joy
"......Hmm."
I slowly looked up at the sky and spoke.
"You know you're being incredibly shabby right now, right?"
[An Oracle has arrived.]
[Main God─Cronus: My child, do not test my patience any longer.]
[Main God─Cronus: If thou wouldst but lend thine ear to my voice once, I shall bestow upon thee blessings equivalent in measure to his.]
Yeah, no.
Getting fooled works for a day or two. And to even send an oracle like this, he was basically showing his true colors already.
"You, you go do your business. I'll go do mine."
[Main God─Cronus: Thi-s... impertinent brat...]
Kureung...
Kururureung...!
A strange noise rumbled from the sky above.
Even without black storm clouds, thunder, or lightning, the roaring sound echoing was enough to give me chills unconsciously.
'Could it be... is this gonna blow up?'
No.
No way.
There was absolutely no chance of that.
Because—
[Main God─Hera: Oh my, are you angry? Seeing you holding such a strong curse in your hand, you must be quite upset?]
"Heuuuung...!"
—Hera-mama would protect me, that is.
I flashed a thumbs-up towards the sky, signaling Hera, thank you. Soon after, the small sound of Hera's laughter brushed past my ears, and the verbal sparring between the two Main Gods unfolded before me.
[Main God─Cronus:...This is a matter between me and my child, so stay out of it.]
[Main God─Hera: You, a parent who was abandoned by your children, want to act like a parent? How about speaking after you've recovered the masculinity that has vanished into sea foam?]
[Main God─Cronus: You wretcheeed.....!!]
'Ah, this is good.'
This is why self-employment thrives under a competitive system, not a monopoly. Even if one side here was on the verge of closing down—and in my heart I'd love to shut it down for good—living under two was much easier and better than when one had a monopoly.
"Euh, let's get back to my work."
I dusted myself off, got up, and roamed around looking for the mushroom.
And so...
"Shiitake mushrooms, even pine mushrooms?"
I'd gathered a whole heap of only the most expensive mushrooms. Their value was such that it'd be a profit even if I failed to collect the Lustful Clown Mushroom right away. Of course, I'd have to offer a few of these to Hera, but the quality and quantity were such that even that wouldn't feel like a waste.
"All of this is thanks to Hera's grace...!"
I clasped my hands and prayed. Thumbs-up Hera, thank you!
[Main God─Cronus: Do not attribute your personal ability to a god. Seeing a wench of negligible strength act so arrogant is laughable.]
[Main God─Hera: Do you still not get it? This is exactly what 'faith' is. Oh dear, come to think of it, I suppose you wouldn't know, would you? Abandoned by even the few believers you had left...]
[Main God─Cronus:.....Chrono. My child. I am always waiting for thee.]
[Main God─Hera: When things were going well you ignored them, then after falling to ruin and trembling, you ask them to reach out a hand. If there are levels to ugliness, Cronus, you must have reached the realm of a Main God in it.]
[Main God─Cronus: Very well, today, let us see this through to the bitter end!]
[Main God─Hera: Yeah~ you can't reach where I am, right? You don't even know where I am, right? You don't know my temple address, right? Can't hit me, right? You're mad, right? But you can't hit me, right?]
"Huh...???"
The conversation was getting weirder and weirder as it went on. It seemed watching this part would only pollute my mind, so I gently turned the screen off.
"Anyway, it ought to show up by now..."
Now, after having walked for a good 4 more hours. If I didn't find it soon, I might have to spend another day in this place. To be honest, for someone like me, there was no problem at all—but if I told Minerva that, wouldn't she just snap right then and there? She might just show me the rare spectacle of a mental breakdown happening without even entering a dungeon.
"I have to find it quickly... it has to show uppppp..."
I searched the ground carefully for another hour, looking for the mushroom. Soon, another status window appeared before my eyes.
[Emergency Mission]
[Rescue the Apostle of Athena]
-An emergency mission issued by Athena.
-A mistake made while gathering the Lustful Clown Mushroom. A disastrous incident may occur because of it.
-Even if it is a better fate than a demon of the abyss, losing one's virginity in this manner is far too harsh.
1. Rescue the Apostle of Athena (0/1)
Reward: Contribution +10 / Maintain the chastity of the Apostle of Athena
Upon Failure: NTR Rank increases by 1
"Uh......"
Wh-what.
"A flag, for real."
This is why they say to watch your mouth while you're alive.
As a side note,
"Is this... the Lustful Clown Mushroom...?"
After the long search, Minerva faced the Lustful Clown Mushroom. As she hurried to collect it, she suddenly recalled that the moment you touch its spores, you fall into a 'Lust' state.
"Right, so I must follow the proper procedures...."
...What to do. It was too bothersome. She was too sleepy. It was a thought she normally wouldn't have, but Minerva's mental state had begun to waver from the excessively long mission.
"First... if I just cover my nose and mouth, it should be fine..."
It wasn't the correct procedure, but since the problem was originally caused by spores entering the respiratory tract, conversely, if she just protected her respiratory tract, it meant there was no chance of being poisoned by the spores. Minerva took spare clothes out of her backpack, wrapped them around her mouth and nose, and then collected the Lustful Clown Mushroom.
—Pshiiiiiiiiik!!
"...Hm. It's fine."
The collection itself was a success. As much as she'd blocked her mouth and nose with cloth, the spores were blocked to some extent.
"Hmm... Huhm-hum... Huu-euhm......"
To the extent that they were blocked to some degree,
"......Huh-eum?"
Exactly to that extent, some entered her respiratory tract.
Indeed, the start of every incident was a small moment of carelessness.