22. Do You Want to Have Sex With Me?
22. Do You Want to Have Sex With Me?
Devotion of Utmost Sincerity
A sincerity so profound it could not be more so
They say sincerity moves the heavens,
so devotion of utmost sincerity moves the heavens to feel.
"Koooo...."
"...Ugh"
That was probably the kind of situation those words were meant for.
I looked at Mars, whose condition had visibly improved, and lightly dusted off my hands.
There was no need to check the time. The sun was rising, after all.
From the moment the sun set until the moment it rose, I had gone from nursing to nursing to nursing.
Fed her medicine (by mouth)
Fed her gruel (by mouth)
Cut the bandages in half, soaked one half in water to wipe down her body, and crushed medicinal herbs to wrap around with the other half.
After that, I layered buff after buff after buff on her using [Ur's Harp] to raise her recovery rate by any means possible.
If we were just comparing raw stats right now, she was probably the undisputed top one among us cadets.
Especially because I had lowered her stress levels drastically, I could visibly see her physical condition improving rapidly.
The dark circles around her eyes had already vanished, and she even seemed to have gained a little weight.
I even hastily wiped her down with clean water in case any wounds got infected, so I really couldn't have been more devoted.
...Ah right, speaking of devotion of utmost sincerity reminds me of something else.
[My ass...itchy......]
[....The fuck?]
"....Haaaaah"
Being in the wild, bathroom matters were tough.
I had brought tissues separately so I managed somehow, but Mars apparently had her limits in various ways. She woke up in the middle of the night and, well, what the, ugh.
'Thinking about it is just a loss for me.'
I did wipe her, telling myself it was a heroine's ass, but honestly? Five days of sweat-marinated underwear and what was inside was pretty much biochemical warfare.
I had expected a somewhat heart-pounding development, but who knew the pounding wouldn't be my heart but my brain?
And even that being not a throb but a 'stab' was just so very Mars-like.
A bitch who's already boiled and drank down any such heroine charm.
And yet, after I'd wiped everything clean, the way she grinned all pleased was quite the sight.
"Well, anyway. Yeah. You've gotten a lot better."
Staying up all night was worth it.
I brushed Mars's hair aside and continued playing [Ur's Harp].
Her getting better was one thing, but there still seemed to be plenty left to recover.
...
..
.
Morning of the 5th day.
There was nothing worth calling a proper meal.
Just reheating the leftover gruel from yesterday and boiling it again.
I stoked the fire and covered the gruel to let it simmer.
".....Sniff...sniff sniff...."
"Huh? You're awake?"
Was her stomach her alarm clock?
She was waking up right as I tried to eat something.
I scooped the gruel into a bowl with a ladle and approached Mars.
"....Chrono"
"That's me."
I held out the bowl of gruel.
"Eat."
".....Okay."
Unexpectedly, she didn't put up much resistance.
Her response was a bit weak, too. Was she still hurt?
No, maybe she's just weak in the mornings or something.
I'd never really seen Mars come out to train with me in the morning.
"Mmph!.....Hottt...."
She mindlessly scooped up the gruel, then spat it back out, sticking her tongue out going 'peh peh.'
Who the hell just shovels freshly boiled gruel straight into their mouth?
Fortunately, it seemed things weren't going to escalate to the worst-case scenario of 'blow on it for me,' and she started blowing on it and eating by herself.
"...It's yummyy."
"Is it."
She was eating it deliciously even though the only seasoning was a little leftover gochujang.
Since she's a patient, it'd be better to keep it bland, but this was originally food I'd made for myself that I was sharing.
The subtext of just being grateful I'm sharing my food at all.
".........?"
Chewing slowly, Mars had been diligently eating her gruel.
But soon, she tilted her head as if something was strange.
"Something...this tastes like I've eaten it before...I think..."
"............"
".....Hey"
"............"
I ignored her.
I know nothing.
"...No way, right?"
"............"
I know nothing, said the gesture.
"Ha....fuck...."
".........Tch."
Mars, her drowsiness gradually fading, her memories resurfacing.
First her lips, then her arms and shoulders, her waist, the bandages wrapped around her thighs.
And finally───even her ass.
"....Chrono"
"What."
Mars asked me directly.
"This is all a dream, right? Yeah. How could this possibly make sense if it weren't a dream?"
"...?"
Her thoughts had apparently flowed in a strange direction.
Faced with unbearable reality, Mars finally resorted to escapism.
"I know my own condition, for starters. And you expect me to believe it got this much better in one day? Unless you've been using holy magic to heal me like Yuno, no, even if Yuno had come, it'd be impossible."
And a bastard who can only use guns and daggers can do that?
If he could've done it, he would've used it back when we were in the dungeon.
"Oh....."
Surprisingly realistic answers.
The problem was that her conclusion was ultimately 'so this is all a dream!'
What in the world was I supposed to do with this kid.
"I've never had such a realistic dream in my life. Ah, except when I met Ares. That time was...truly magnificent..."
Mars kept rambling on and on.
She was chattering ceaselessly, as if she couldn't tolerate even a single moment of silence.
Which made sense. If she stopped talking for even a moment, she'd be forced to realize it was reality whether she liked it or not.
I silently cleared the bowl and pulled out a chocolate bar from my bag, handing it to her.
"You want this?"
"This...no way, is it the one from back then?"
She rummaged through her pocket and pulled out an empty chocolate bar wrapper.
"Whoa...! Look, even a detail like this gets recreated in a dream."
She smirked and chewed on the chocolate bar I gave her.
After finishing it, she got up from the tent, stretched, and swung her greatsword a few times.
Then, slowly, she turned the blade's tip──and why are you pointing it at me?
"Let's spar."
"Fuck off."
You Lü Bu-like bitch.
Trying to repay kindness with enmity, literally the way of Lü Bu.
"Ah, why! It's a dream! You can at least give me a spar!"
"I'm telling you it's not a dream."
"Whoa...you're really you even in a dream, huh? No, wait. Is it because I'm thinking of you that way?"
"What the hell are you going on about."
Muttering and mumbling to herself, Mars pointed her finger at me.
"You, spar with me!"
"..........."
"Sparsparsparsparsparsparspar─"
"──Sex."
"........."
What.
Is there a law that says only you can say random shit?
"Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex─"
"─Ugh, ah, aaaah!!!"
Her face flushed bright red as she charged at me full speed.
She clamped both hands over my mouth and panted heavily.
"Why...why? Fuck, does this make any sense?"
Her eyes trembled softly.
Then, Mars spoke.
"I...want to have sex with this bastard more than spar with him?"
".............."
You, are you seriously still planning to stick with the 'dream premise'?
It was so absurd I decided to see how far she'd go. Mars was truly a spectacle beyond words.
"Why would I, to some scrawny bastard like this...no, I mean, he did beat me once, but...."
"He's been good to me in a lot of ways, gave me presents tooo..."
"Stayed, with me too. Held onto me back in the dungeon..."
".......And now I apparently like him enough that he even shows up in my dreams...?"
'Ugh, you shit...!'
My mind was growing hazy just listening to this.
"Do I...really? No, well....it's not impossible, maybe, but also feels like it's not totally impossible but also kinda feels like it might not be...?"
How many layers of negation was that?
Mars, blushing like some shoujo manga heroine, was fidgeting anxiously.
It felt like this would never end if I let it go on, so I quietly stuck out my tongue.
Lick.
"Hik...!"
"Salty as hell."
I mean, could the grime on a hand possibly taste good?
Mars stepped back and clutched the hand I'd licked tightly.
"....What are you."
"What am I."
"Chrono doesn't do shit like this."
"And who was the bastard who pulled a Lü Bu first?"
"Hey! What do you mean I pulled a Lü Bu!"
"I fed you, bandaged you, personally fed you antidote, I've lived my whole life and ended up fucking wiping a person's asshole, and then you pull a sword on me to my face and demand a spar. Is that not pulling a Lü Bu?"
"................."
A facial expression that had intuitively sensed something was very, deeply wrong.
And so, I smiled and said:
"This isn't a dream, you idiot."
".....Ungaaaaaaaah!!!"
Thud! Thud! Kaboom!!!
A full-power body slam into the tree next to her.
A shoulder tackle with her shoulder.
And finishing with a headbutt.
Crack...crack crack crack.....
"....Whoa!"
She had completely snapped the spine of a whole tree.
But even after that, the embarrassment clearly hadn't faded, and she let out another scream, charging toward me──ah, you fucking, seriously.
"Say it's a dream! Say it's a dream!!!"
"Gahk....!"
"Say it's a dream I saidddddd!!!"
"───...!!"
Let go of my neck first so I can say it or not, you moron...!!
I somehow reached out and tapped between her biceps and triceps. She flinched in surprise and pulled back.
"...I'm not an easy girl, you know?"
"What the hell is this idiot saying now."
"............"
"Just make sure you wipe your asshole well and go about your day."
"Hey!!!"
Mars yelled, exploding.
Ultimately, for better or worse, having accepted it was reality, not a dream, and that I had nursed her all night, Mars quietly sat beside me and watched me.
Takatakatakatak!
"Hmm...this is tough."
But that was that, and this was this.
Rather, just in case, I kept playing [Ur's Harp] and stacking buffs.
Ting♬
[C Chord─Expert]
[Full Combo]
[All Perfect]
[76,261(SS )]
"Ah....!"
Mars briefly startled, clenching and unclenching her fists.
Slowly, she looked at me, at the keyboard in my hands, and asked.
"You...how long have you been doing this?"
"Since yesterday evening? After you collapsed."
"....You didn't sleep at all?"
"Couldn't sleep anyway, so I just did it."
I had taken such a long nap earlier that I had no sleep to come.
So I'd just fool around on the keyboard, zone out and rest for a bit, and when I felt sleepy I'd just stare at the fire.
".............."
Mars had gotten notably quiet.
I searched for a new song and started playing again.
Tatak, takatatak.
The forest, with only the soft sound of keypad tapping resounding.
"Tha....nk you."
"Huh?"
Mars spoke.
"Thank you, I said...you fucking pushover."
"....Is that supposed to be a compliment right now, or are you dissing me in a roundabout way?"
"It's both."
Fucking pushover.
Mars pouted her lips, then buried her face between her knees with a poof.
Seeing a mountain of a girl act like that gave me a slight sense of cognitive dissonance.
'Let's just ignore it.'
The one who cares about this kind of thing loses anyway.
I kept tapping the keyboard.
Ah, looks like I'm about to get a perfect clear on this one too...
"Hey."
"Yeah."
"You wanna fuck me?"
"............"
Miss!
[D Chord─Expert]
[Fail.....]
"Fuck."
Why are you like this all of a sudden.