153. Dine-and-Dashing Again? (Or Not)
153. Dine-and-Dashing Again? (Or Not)
Let's be honest and lay it all out here.
Should I call it a flow, a typical pattern? A cliché? Anyway, in a Protagonist's meeting with a heroine, these sorts of 'inevitable events' always came into play.
And depending on the nature of these events, a 'relationship' between the heroine and the Protagonist was formed.
For example, in Yuno's case, as someone who gradually realized herself while being toyed with by a bad man,
you could see her story as focused on a 'coming-of-age' narrative where she slowly awakened to her own self.
Mars's case was truly the royal road among royal roads,
a character so heavily pushed that she secured the position of main heroine.
Ur's case was... a behind-the-scenes story?
She showed a route impossible for a human, one only a 'god' could conquer, displaying a bond with the Protagonist that was hard to sever.
As for Minerva's case──should I say it wasn't over yet, or that it was still ongoing?
For now, she had the rather niche relationship dynamic of 'master and pet,' but surprisingly, you saw relationships like this a lot in manga and novels, right?
Moreover, relationships where someone holds the initiative and someone else is held are common even in reality.
"But──our child, Merk, is different."
Her first appearance was as a typical mesugaki.
She appeared as a sassy brat character who was cute and coquettish, yet also kind of made you want to flick her forehead.
After that, she built up a subtly irritating characterization that gave off a so-called 'villain' vibe, but then, through the event with Yuno, she planted the thought, 'Maybe she's not that bad?'
Next, she would gradually create her own place through a cooperation event with the Protagonist──that was the best plan, so perfect the heavens would clutch their necks and the earth would curse if they knew about it... but...
[Mission complete with this.]
[.........]
"....Are you a demon?!"
Relationship dynamics, cooperation events, whatever—he just gobbled it all up by himself.
No, wait, you're the Protagonist. The Protagonist of a harem academy, no less!
As the Protagonist, shouldn't you create events so everyone gets along nicely, hmm?
Even if it meant your own screen time was reduced a bit, isn't subtly looking after the heroines a virtue of the Protagonist?!
[Merk's... my reason for existing.....]
"Oh my! Just look at our baby all down in the dumps!"
It was a pure look of self-doubt, without a single pout of the lips or a cutesy head tilt.
The moment she was stretched out limp and needed someone's touch, this was exactly when the Protagonist should have stepped up to boost her affection rank, pow! pow!...
[.......?]
"Wh...what kind of eunuch bastard is this!"
Chrono subtly glanced up at the sky.
It looked like he was giving a look demanding his mission reward since the mission was given, but was the reward really what mattered right now? Was the reward the issue??
"What did our kid do wrong to have her spirits crushed like this, her spirits! Do you know how prettily and preciously I raised this child!"
Bbaeeeeeeeek!!
Show some affection to our Merk too, dammit!
She's a child I raised to be so cute, so charming, and so pretty—was it right for him to just coldly do his own thing and end it like that? Was it, huh?!
"I even opened an event on purpose so you'd get friendly with each other, isn't the normal thing here to say 'Thank you!' and dig in...?"
[............]
When he voiced this feeling with a sigh-laden tone, Chrono still didn't seem to get it and looked up at Hermes indifferently, as if telling him to just hand over the goods quickly.
"Ugh... Fine. Our hero isn't a Greek hero but a 'Joseon hero,' right? A seonbi hero reeking of Confucian ideology, isn't he?"
So he only comes to his senses if you set him up, huh?
Alright, fine. Should I just make something like a [Room You Can't Leave Without Having Sex] and lock the two of them in? Though the moment I did, I'd probably get beaten to death by Hera?
"Haaaaaah...."
...Well, whatever. So be it.
There was still plenty of time left, no need to be impatient.
'There's no need to force a fire; it'll just wear me out.'
It was right to take one step back here and opt for a method that would advance three steps forward.
"So, what can you do?"
Hermes pulled the essence housing the 'Queen of the Night' from his bosom.
Soon, as he breathed his power into it, 'Rhea' slowly inflated her body and took form.
"A promise is a promise, after all."
Playing games with this sort of thing would just hurt each other's feelings.
As the god who oversaw thieves, he knew this fact even more clearly.
"However... since it's still a bit vexing?"
Hermes smiled a sly grin as he wrapped a few more chains around the soul of 'Rhea.'
[Summoned Creature: Succubus][Rank: D (EX)]
-Fragment of the Abyss. Remnant of the Abyss. Oversees dreams and night.
-Purified by the power of Hermes and Hephaestus. Tendencies change depending on how she is raised.
-Can raise rank through missions received from Hermes.
-Skill: [Dream within a Dream]
-Trait: [Resident of Dreams and Night]
-Trait: [Pure Body]
-Trait: [Locked (Unlock at C Rank)]
-Trait: [Locked (Unlock at B Rank)]
-Trait: [Locked (Unlock at A Rank)]
-Trait: [Locked (Unlock at S Rank)]
-Trait: [Locked (Unlock at EX Rank)]
[Dream within a Dream]
-Can put a target to sleep.
-Can enter the target's dream.
-Success rate increases with rank up.
[Resident of Dreams and Night]
-A resident of dreams and night. The boundary of the body is ambiguous.
-Power of 'illusion' and 'dream' related skills increases (S)
-Accuracy of 'illusion' and 'dream' related skills increases (S)
-Occasionally shares dreams with the master.
[Pure Body]
-A body that has not yet known a man.
-Evolves to better suit the partner the more they engage together.
-Trait deleted if engaged with someone other than the master.
-When engaging in intercourse with 'Chrono,' both parties' sensitivity +50% (Max 200%)
"Heu... heuheuheuheu....!"
Perfect.
Truly perfection itself.
All the stats and skills that originally shouldn't have been sealed were now sealed by his own divine authority.
To be precise, rather than sealing, he'd created an illusion that they were 'sealed,' but since it was all the same until someone noticed, it didn't much matter.
"Now, launch time! My master☆pie──eek!!!"
Kuwoooong!!!
His vision suddenly shook violently, and his body slowly sank to the floor.
'Wh...what the....??'
A pain so crushing even breathing was a struggle.
By the time his senses slowly began to return, only then could Hermes realize that someone had smacked him over the head.
"Oh....Aaaagh! This pain! This force! This heavy, crude technique with no finesse, something only a virgin who's never touched a woman could possess is...!"
"I'm not a virgin! I'm not!"
"Kkieeeeeeek──!!"
Hephaestus had barged in.
At the sight of Hephaestus grabbing him by the collar with all his might and screaming, Hermes hastily corrected himself.
"Th...that's right! I did it with Aphrodite, so I'm not a virgin!"
"............"
"....What. Like a virgin who's never even done it with his own wife?"
"At first, I thought it was her."
".........."
Ah.
Wait, no way...?
"I found out later it was made of molded clouds...."
".....And you didn't notice that?"
"I thought women were just like that originally."
".............."
Sorry.
"It's fine. I already lost my virginity."
"Ri...right! If you just do it with the god you love now, wouldn't that settle it?"
"A god? What are you talking about?"
"Huh?"
But you said you weren't a virgin just a bit ago.
...Aha, then could it be this?
"You had relations with a human then... truly, the bloodline of this family can't be fooled!"
"Don't talk bullshit, Hermes. Even if I went to a human and asked, Ultimately, wouldn't it just be coercive rape, where they spread their legs because they couldn't resist the threat?"
"..........."
Then just what in the world did you have relations with to claim you lost your virginity?
"I have decided to spend my life with this hammer."
"Lifting the hammer and striking the anvil. That is, to me, 'sex.'"
".....Aha."
Just live like that for the rest of your life, Hephaestus.
While I might feel pity for someone who doesn't know the joy of sex, the taste of his hammer was considerably spicy.
"Keugh... So, what business brings you to a shabby place like this?"
"Ah, right. I nearly forgot."
Hephaestus slowly lifted his hammer.
Its target──was Hermes' head.
"Hermes, you would know. Why I, the reason I, am doing this."
"..........."
I have no idea, sir.
"If you don't know, you just need to be hit until you do."
"I think I know! No, I know! I know! I can say it right now!"
"Then tell me. Why I am doing this."
If you're wrong───then the target of today's sex shall be your head.
"....Gulp!"
It probably didn't mean sex in the sense of getting his back door pounded,
but since he also didn't fancy getting tied to an anvil and having his head hammered, Hermes racked his brain desperately.
'Could it be... because I played a few pranks on the stats and skills?'
No.
He wasn't a fellow who'd get mad over that.
If he was the type to get mad over that, there'd be no reason to make sealed weapons, right?
So, rather than an issue of performance, it was more of a....
".....Did I dress her too modestly?"
"I see, so it was."
Hephaestus raised his hammer.
"──Just a joke! So... oh dear! Did I forget the earrings..."
"Don't worry. I've already practiced hammering with gods as material."
"I almost said! Ahah! Ahahahah!"
".............."
".............."
Goddammit.
'What is it really?'
Hermes couldn't get a read on it.
He wanted to somehow guess with his divine intuition, but Hephaestus was angrier than he'd imagined, even his facial muscles had stiffened.
Reading his expression was impossible.
All he could do was observe the present through the past and infer the future.
And this kind of life-or-death gamble──was truly Hermes' specialty.
'Think... thiiiiink....!'
Agonizing.
Agonizing.
And after agonizing yet again.
'Hephaestus. Total virgin. Never had a girlfriend. Pure love fanatic. Pure love fanboy. Extreme whore disgust. Slut hatred. Slut. Aphrodite. Aphrodite is a whore. Whore disgust. Wary of everything related to Aphrodite...
....Ah.'
At last, the one thing he realized.
"....Because her hair is pink?"
"Correct, Hermes."
"..........."
For reference, Aphrodite's hair is a bright pink.
A wavy bright pink cut.
Hephaestus declared...
"This child will be born a virgin and die a passionate woman. And yet... pink?! How dare she cover her hair in the color of a slut?!"
Failures may come from my hands.
However, I absolutely cannot bear to see a 'whore' come from my hands!!!
The sight of him roaring with all his might seemed to prove he indeed inherited the blood of Zeus and Hera──but that the topic had to be the 'bright pink slut theory,' of all things.
'...I've got nothing to say since the example is way too spot on, but'
Even so, backing down meekly here wouldn't make him Hermes, the God of Lies.
"You said pink is the color of a slut?"
"Indeed. Bright pink is a sin. An existence that must be eradicated."
"Well then..."
spoke Hermes.
"What about a virgin who only becomes a 'slut' in front of the one she loves?"
".....!!!"
Indeed, was a woman who becomes a 'slut' in front of the one she loves 'pure love' or a 'slut'?
The debate over this went on for about three days, and the result was that normally having white hair, but blushing a pink hue in pure love situations—
"So pure...!"
"You pure-love-crazed bastard."
That sight was so much like viewing cherry blossoms, and Hephaestus found it most pleasing, or so the story goes.
As a side note,
because the gods' debate and deliberation went on for three whole days,
"....Ran off after eating again?"
For Chrono, his affection for Hermes plummeted like mad.