The Witch's Name
The witch named Witch. A woman who wields magic, straight out of myths and legends from time immemorial. She looks just like any ordinary person on the outside, but she possesses unique traits like an extraordinarily long lifespan and stunning beauty. The most iconic one, though, is her ominous aura. Just think of the image conjured by the words "witch hunt"—ordinary folk fear witches and view them with deep suspicion. So it's not hard to imagine the vibe of a place called the "Witch's Village." A mysterious realm no normal person could even approach. If you somehow managed to get inside using some special method, you'd immediately be marked by dozens of witches skilled in curses and spirit arts.
So why was I risking all that danger to head to the Witch's Village anyway?
"So even I alone aren't enough for you... You're planning to subjugate and dominate all those countless witches...?"
"No, that's definitely not it."
Come to think of it, this woman was in the same boat as the Goddess.
[Even you—insult me like that again, and I won't hold back.]
The Goddess clearly thought otherwise. She'd reacted with particular disgust to witches last time too. Bad compatibility, maybe?
The witch, who had been covering her face with her hands and pretending to cry, quickly dropped the act and spoke up.
"I don't know how you know about our village... but it's not a place just anyone can enter."
"I know. You need certain conditions to get in."
Having read the original story, I even knew what those conditions were.
"Knowing a witch's name."
"...Hmm."
At my answer, the witch abandoned her leisurely demeanor for the first time, her eyes narrowing slightly. Ordinary people just call ominous women "witches" without knowing their names. That's because the witches themselves go to great lengths to hide them, no matter what. It's like their reverse scale—their most fatal weakness.
"I didn't expect you to know even that much."
"A phantom thief has to have sharp ears, after all."
Unfortunately, I didn't know this witch's name. In the original story, it only comes up much later, when a peculiar witch who gets close to the protagonist reveals it herself. And this witch running the shop doesn't have as big a role as you'd think.
The witch shrugged and admitted it readily.
"You're right. If you know one of our names, you get permission to enter the village. So, do you know any?"
Of course I did. I'd seen that peculiar witch's name in the original novel's manga version. But blurting it out now could seriously mess up the timeline. Plus, I had no way to explain how I knew it.
"No. I don't."
"Well, that figures. Too bad, but without a witch's name, you can't get in."
She waved her hand dismissively, as if telling me not to bother her anymore. Her attitude had noticeably shifted ever since I brought up names. The village's existence itself wasn't a huge deal, but the entry conditions were clearly a sensitive topic.
I stared at her for a moment, then declared boldly,
"So tell me yours."
"...Pardon? Tell you what?"
"Your name."
After a brief pause, her reaction was beyond anything I'd imagined. She was far more rattled than when I'd first mentioned the conditions. It was so fresh, I couldn't help but let out a small sigh of admiration.
"Y-Y-Y-..."
"Y-?"
"You... Do you even know what that means?"
I nodded calmly at her question.
"Yes. It means we become friends."
"That's not something you say so lightly!"
Anyone who learns a witch's name becomes a "witch's friend," earning an invitation to their village. But the "friend" here isn't the casual term humans use. It's a far weightier, more serious bond. A true soulmate, in the literal sense—like a match for the soul. Witches only reveal their names to those they'd stake their lives on. Many live out their centuries-long lives without ever telling a single soul, taking the secret to their graves.
"I know. It's staking your life on it."
She blinked at me vacantly, tilting her head.
"You know that, and you're still asking for my name?"
"Yes."
"...Mr. Phantom Thief, you're even crazier than I thought."
She'd been so aggressively flirtatious until now, but suddenly she was backing off. I probably would've reacted the same way. If some shop customer I'd just met that day suddenly asked me to die together, I'd think they were nuts too.
"What makes you think I'd trust you with my name?"
"Fair point. I have no intention of betraying you, Miss Witch, but you can't just take my word for it."
It was such obvious logic that she didn't even respond.
"Why do you want to go to our village in the first place? Even if a normal human like you got in, there's nothing to gain. Sounds like you heard some legend or rumor and got curious—best to give up now and save yourself the trouble."
We'd come full circle after a long detour. Right—the real reason I was pushing through all this hassle and risk to reach the Witch's Village.
"Got it. I'll give up on entering the village."
"Good. Don't even dream of it again. And don't go spreading it around to others."
"Instead, I want to meet the Witch of Prophecy."
"...Good lord. How do you even know about her?"
Now she was clapping in genuine awe at my info-gathering skills. Clap clap clap.
"Mr. Phantom Thief, why not quit the thieving business and go into partnership with me? I'll handle the everything-store, you do intel trading. We have kids, live happily ever after, run the shop as one big family."
"Would you tell me your name then?"
"Hmm... maybe when you're an 80-year-old grandpa with white hair."
Marriage, kids, and only then, right before I croak? It really drove home how seriously they took "becoming friends."
"The Witch of Prophecy, huh? Been a while since I heard that one. Why do you want her? For your phantom thief gigs?"
"No, this is personal. For a friend, you could say."
"A friend... You mean the kind we witches mean?"
Like me and Rachel? I shook my head firmly without hesitation.
"No, just a regular friend."
"Then why go to such lengths? I hate to say it myself, but getting tangled with witches rarely ends well."
Witches had always symbolized foreboding. And it wasn't just superstition or prejudice. They were beings straddling half in and half out of this world. Yeah, getting involved with witches was dangerous, no doubt. Even this one before me was a walking enigma with barely any backstory revealed.
But still, why was I going this far?
I thought for a moment, then confessed honestly.
"Dunno. No real reason."
"...I'm too stunned to even be surprised anymore."
"I just want to, so I'm doing it. Life's like that, right?"
If I didn't figure out Rachel's intentions, the original plot would collapse; allying with a witch now could pay off later. Sure, those were valid points. But the biggest reason? I just wanted to.
She pondered my words for a bit, then let out a chuckle.
"I think I get what kind of guy you are now, Mr. Phantom Thief."
"Oh? What kind?"
"Irresistibly charming. The type you fall head over heels for."
Witches do love to tease. I knew it was just a joke anyway.
[Sigh. You too...]
('What's up?')
[Nothing. Never mind.]
"Alright. I'll tell you where the Witch of Prophecy is. I can even write you an introduction letter."
Oh. Easier than expected.
"Of course, it's one of our shop's products, so I'll charge you for it."
Yeah, that tracked. Apparently, the one I was after wasn't in the Witch's Village but somewhere else.
"This price?"
"Cheaper than I thought."
"Sharing info isn't hard. The real trick is how you use it, right?"
Couldn't argue with that. Finding the Witch of Prophecy was just step one—I'd have to ask her for the favor next. In a way, I hadn't even started.
"So, where is she?"
"Hehe. Pretty far away."
"...Outside London?"
The witch grinned from ear to ear.
"The Eiffel Tower."