Memory (1)
Memory (1)
I recover my memories before the unification.
Once I'd made up my mind, I acted at once.
The necessary preparation was, naturally, my own body, which held those memories.
"You're recovering your memories?"
- Yeah, my preparations are about done.
My body was cradled in Seo-yul's arms.
This was nothing unusual. Seo-yul had been watching over and taking care of my body throughout the week.
"If it's not a bother, may I stay and watch?"
- A bother? You're welcome to watch if you want. But I'll need to concentrate, so you'll have to watch quietly, okay?
"Yes! I'll watch in silence!"
Seo-yul smiled brightly and stood up, holding my body in her arms.
Honestly, there probably wouldn't be much to watch, but seeing her smile like that made me happy.
"Huh?"
Inside the room we entered together, Seo-yul blinked when her eyes met Lee Ha-sol's—she was sitting on the sofa taking sips of water.
"...Why is Lee Ha-sol here?"
"Ha-yul called for me, so I was waiting. And Seo-yul?"
"I came with permission."
Lee Ha-sol, having quenched her thirst, smiled gently in response.
She had been greatly surprised when she first heard Seo-yul's story, but ever since, she had always treated Seo-yul with a kind attitude.
Seo-yul knew that too, so while her expression was a little awkward, she didn't show any sulkiness toward Lee Ha-sol.
"So, Ha-yul, why did you call for me?"
"Why did you come without even asking why you were called?"
Seo-yul muttered in disbelief. Lee Ha-sol gave a sheepish smile and turned her gaze toward me.
I sat down on the sofa across from them and explained my business.
- For now, I intend to rely on my own memories, but there could be a lot of errors.
Memory loss was a prime example. There was also a high possibility that my memories were incomplete because of my dulled senses back then.
So, my plan was to improve the accuracy by overlapping my memories with Lee Ha-sol's memories of caring for me as a child.
- Of course, I have no intention of reading all your memories. I'll only improve the accuracy for the orphanage period of my childhood, and I'll restrict it strictly to those memories...
I knew full well that having your memories laid open to another person was an uncomfortable act.
So I intended to set a prior magical constraint to reassure her. Even so, there might be some resistance...
"Yes, of course."
- ?
But Lee Ha-sol accepted before I even finished speaking.
I tried to continue my sound transmission, flustered, but the transmission cut off under Lee Ha-sol's gaze as she looked at me, a smile on her lips.
Her smile held not a single speck of doubt. The trust within was rock-solid—an air of certainty that I would harbor no ill intentions.
After chewing on my lip for a moment, I made a show of pouting.
- ...I was going to set the constraint first. Aren't you accepting this a little too easily? What if I read some memory of yours...
"Oh my? Just what memory of mine could Ha-yul be so curious about?"
Lee Ha-sol covered her mouth and chuckled. Yet her eyes curved playfully.
At that smile, I recalled Lee Ha-sol's thoughts, which I had inadvertently glimpsed recently while handling the Authority of Harmonization.
- Ahem. Truly, thank you. I'll repay this soon.
"I'll be looking forward to it."
Lee Ha-sol smiled softly. Seo-yul puffed out her cheeks slightly and hugged my body tightly.
I cleared my throat for no reason and climbed onto the bed. Lee Ha-sol and Seo-yul followed, sitting down to either side.
I took Lee Ha-sol's hand and my physical body's hand together and let out a long breath.
I had been thinking about how to restore my memories since before I met Lee Ha-sol.
Long ago, I considered methods using the Authorities of Observation and Knowledge, but now that I also have the Authority of Harmonization, it's easier and safer.
'Manifest.'
The mana pouring from my core moved. It brushed past the innate talents settled within me and touched the Authorities entrusted to me.
- Ding!
[Activating Authority 「Knowledge」]
The Authority of Knowledge could also contain and output memories. My memories were steadily accumulating even now in the library within my mindscape.
My consciousness sank.
Before I knew it, I was in the library. The place where my memories and observed information were recorded one after another.
Human memory is vast by nature, so there were a great many books embodying memories.
Since I kept Observation active at all times, the number of books piling up each day was far too many.
I requested the body's childhood memories.
But no books flew toward me. That meant I was not aware of them.
'Are they in here... or not...'
[Activating Authority 「Observation」]
I employed Observation. The observation range was inside the body, not outside. From there, I went deeper and scanned the library in my mindscape.
I passed over the countless books.
The book I was searching for certainly existed, but it was not in this library.
[Activating Authority 「Harmonization」]
At the same time, I employed the Authority of Harmonization. Harmonization layered over Observation.
In that instant, thin, hazy threads began to appear in the air.
'Found it.'
I quickly pulled on a thread. The slack thread drew taut.
I connected the memory.
My consciousness was pulled into the book caught at the end of the thread.
.
.
.
"Now, you have to remember this very carefully, okay?"
The pale-green eyes right in front of me blinked.
Lee Ha-sol, carefully holding hands, spoke again.
"You must never, ever go to dangerous places."
- Nod.
"If you happen to get lost, you have to stay in a safe place. Never go onto the road; you have to stand on the sidewalk, okay?"
- Nod.
"This, you absolutely must use the mobile phone to ask me and the Director for help, and you must not go anywhere; you have to wait right there. Understood?"
- Nod.
Lee Ha-yul nodded. Satisfied with that response, Lee Ha-sol smiled and hugged Lee Ha-yul.
"Good. Remember it well."
- Nod.
Even at those words, the Lee Ha-yul cradled in her arms kept nodding.
The young Lee Ha-sol stroked the young Lee Ha-yul's head.
'What a strange feeling.'
At the sensation of his head being stroked, 'Lee Ha-yul' blinked.
The young Lee Ha-yul did not blink. He didn't move as I, the present Lee Ha-yul, wanted.
After all, this was merely recreating a memory.
It was like playing back a recorded video. I was simply experiencing that memory from the young Lee Ha-yul's perspective.
'...Yeah, that's how it was.'
The more I accepted it, the more the memory gradually entered my mind. And the memory soaked in vividly.
'Thank goodness.'
I let out an internal sigh of relief.
This was definitely my own memory. It wasn't simply playing back a memory; memories were newly surfacing and being recovered.
Thanks to that, I could also grasp the young Lee Ha-yul's state.
'Like an actual doll... or more precisely, a state similar to a computer.'
A body without a soul. The soul meant to fill it was active independently in another world. So there was no normal will or thought.
All that remained were the body's basic instincts and the behavioral guidelines externally inputted into its head.
"Ha-yul, it's time to sleep now."
The memory played on without stopping.
Perhaps because Lee Ha-sol's memories were also referenced, the replayed memory began from when they first met.
A darkened night.
Lee Ha-sol smoothed out the bedding firmly, lay down in her spot, then pulled the young Lee Ha-yul, who lay beside her, into her arms.
"Sleep well... have good dreams... don't have bad dreams..."
- Pat, pat.
At the hand patting his back, the young Lee Ha-yul's eyes closed.
"It was right then. The wolf took a deep breath, and then toward the straw heap, with all its might, it let out its breath..."
Lee Ha-sol, with the young Lee Ha-yul seated in her lap, read from a storybook in an exaggerated tone.
"Now, you have to chew each bite carefully and eat, okay?"
A group that came out for volunteer work handed her a box of cookies.
Lee Ha-sol opened her share of cookies, first placed a cookie in the young Lee Ha-yul's mouth, and only then put one in her own.
"Ha-yul, you've been well, with nothing unusual happening?"
Lee Ha-sol, having returned from school, immediately sought out Lee Ha-yul and hugged him.
"Do you know how to write? Words are... Ah, there are things you don't know. Then, shall we start learning words one by one?"
She fed various words and knowledge into his mind.
'...Why is she taking care of me so well.'
The question rose within me as I slowly accepted the memories.
I knew how I had met Lee Ha-sol.
I also knew that I had sensed Lee Ha-sol about to sob against the orphanage wall, and that for some reason, my body had risen and approached her first.
I knew that afterward, Lee Ha-sol changed, began showing interest in me, and cared for me.
I was grateful, but it seemed like she was looking after me with the utmost devotion.
After all, taking care of a younger child at that age must have been hard and bothersome.
"Thank you so much for taking care of Ha-yul. But Ha-sol, aren't you finding it difficult?"
The orphanage Director seemed to share the thought.
When the man in an apron—the Director—asked that, Lee Ha-sol smiled brightly and hugged Lee Ha-yul tightly.
"No, I'm doing this because I like Ha-yul too. It's fine."
- ...Mmm...
That was the moment.
Because I was manifesting the Authorities of Observation and Harmonization, I could feel it.
A thread, hazy and thin to the point of snapping, was connected to Lee Ha-yul.
Though it looked severed midway, I could tell it was barely linked all the way to another world.
- Mmm...
Lee Ha-sol smiled brightly and stroked Lee Ha-yul's head.
At that, a subtle feeling stirred in my chest, and the hazy thread glimmered for an instant.
Each time she patted his back to help him sleep, worried and rubbed his cheek asking if anything had happened, held him in her arms while reading a storybook, or deliberately talked to him, my heart would surge and the hazy thread would glimmer.
'Is it... being influenced?'
It was too faint for consciousness to synchronize, but it was a trace still connected to the soul. A small amount of sharing continued through it.
That was the reason the young Lee Ha-yul would, very occasionally, take action on his own.
.
.
.
"Goodness... just why won't she pick up..."
Then, one day.
It was the hour when the sky was slowly being dyed orange, but Lee Ha-sol had not returned.
The orphanage Director looked at his mobile phone, which wouldn't connect, and closed his mouth.
[We bring you this emergency local broadcast. A Grade 4 Dungeon outbreak has occurred at nearby Bongyulsan Mountain. The situation is being suppressed, so residents in the area please take caution.]
"Tsk..."
At the local news coming from the Director's office, its door open, the Director bit his lip.
He was acting calm for the sake of the other children, but he couldn't hide the glimpses of impatience and anxiety that leaked out.
"......"
A corner of the orphanage.
Lee Ha-yul, clutching the doll Lee Ha-sol had placed in his arms that morning, blinked regularly and looked at the Director.
Even with his darkened eyes, without even straining his ears, he could tell that Lee Ha-sol hadn't come.
He could also tell that the reason was no ordinary one.
The young Lee Ha-yul repeated mechanical thought over and over.
Lee Ha-sol had not come.
Did she get lost along the way?
If lost, ensure safety first. Avoid the road and stand on the sidewalk. Use the phone to ask the orphanage for help.
He recalled what he had learned, one by one.
But the Director already knew of Lee Ha-sol's absence. Hearing it, a report had already been filed with the local security force.
There was nothing left that Lee Ha-yul could do. He hadn't received instructions to begin with.
- You must never, ever go to dangerous places. No matter what happens, absolutely!
'......'
I don't know why.
The young Lee Ha-yul had almost never asked himself the question, 'Why?'
He simply acted according to the body's instincts. He followed as directed.
According to what he had learned so far, Lee Ha-yul should stay still without taking risks.
- No, I'm doing this because I like Ha-yul too. It's fine.
"......."
The young Lee Ha-yul got up from his spot on his own.
He moved his steps carefully, so as not to fall.
His presence was intensely faint because of the vitality leaking from the curse he carried from birth.
As he wished not to be caught, no one could find him.
Before the Director could reach for his coat—after glaring anxiously at his phone—Lee Ha-yul had quietly slipped out the main gate, making no sound and leaving no sign.