Is... That So?
Is... That So?
My head felt hazy. Thoughts wouldn't properly connect, snapping off halfway through.
A fog had settled inside my skull. The thick, billowing mist veiled my thoughts and eroded my reason.
The fog wasn't only in my head—it filled my eyes, too.
Through my slightly open vision, everything was a whitish blur.
Was this fog the Curse of Sensory Sealing? I couldn't properly perceive anything beyond it, but surely it would be a pitch-black void, like outer space.
Ever since I first set foot in this world, this fog had always been thick and clinging.
The fog parted. An intense golden light shone into the drab gray world.
Brilliant golden hair and eyes like the rising sun, skin as white and smooth as jade...
It was my master's face. The beautiful face I had always observed suddenly entered my field of view, and then our faces overlapped.
The bridges of our noses touched, and our lips met.
"Mm, chuu..."
First came the wetness and softness, then body heat that seeped into me like clothes absorbing a light drizzle.
"Smack... hic, haah..."
It was a sensation repeated several times now. Her head had lowered again and again, her lips pressing against mine.
The body heat accumulated like that, reaching my head and clouding my reason even further.
That wasn't the only thing fogging my mind.
The face I saw with my newly opened vision was more beautiful than any information could convey, and the body scent drifting right in front of my nose was incredibly sweet.
Especially the feel of her soft flesh pressing firmly against my body was so intoxicating that I wanted to bury my face in it right then and squeeze it in my grip.
Such desires flared up like a lit fire. All sorts of elements served as kindling, inflating my emotions.
In my ears... no, a fire blazed up inside my body.
My feelings swelled. It wasn't creating something from nothing, but my existing desires were growing massively in size.
My head went blank... and my already low mental age seemed to be regressing.
Emotion encroached upon the space of my clouded reason. My judgment blurred, and I felt like my body might move on its own and release these lewd desires.
"W-wait, sto—"
[Okay]
I didn't act on it. The last shred of reason I had desperately held me back.
I squeezed shut the eyes I had barely managed to open and turned my head away.
Smack... My lips trembled slightly at the sensation on my cheek. The body heat spread warmly across my cheek, and a fuzzy, dreamy feeling welled up.
"What's wrong?"
As I held myself back, a gentle hand stroked my cheek.
When I quietly opened my eyes again, I saw my master tilting her head as she gazed at me.
Her cheeks and neck were flushed a delicate pink too, as if she also had a fever.
Her slightly roughened breath was palpable right in front of me, and affection dripped from her eyes like honey.
"Hic, haah... N-no... you can't..."
[Okay]
I barely managed to speak while controlling my ragged breathing. My master blinked, then let out a small laugh. For a moment, that smile made my heart pound.
"I thought so last time, but your voice is so beautiful. It's like a musical instrument. How can a person produce such a sound?"
"Haah... H-haah...?"
"And your eyes. It's a shame you always keep them closed."
My master rested her finger on my lips and rubbed it gently, as if stroking a precious piece of pottery.
I blinked at the sudden outpouring of compliments. Then, her finger moved up toward my eye. I reflexively squeezed it shut, and a cautious touch stroked my eyelid.
"What's this all of a sudden..."
Why this sudden, embarrassing gushing? The words didn't really resonate with me, either. I had heard people talk about my appearance outside, saying this and that, but... honestly, I didn't really get it.
But still, hearing praise from my master lifted my spirits.
I squirmed at the unexpected praise. As if aiming for that exact moment, my master's face came down.
"Haak! N-no... you can't..."
[Okay]
Startled, I turned my head. Smack... I couldn't dodge far enough, and this time her lips touched the corner of my mouth.
"Kissing is... you shouldn't..."
[Okay]
I shook my head, conveying my intent.
Those eyes dripping affection like honey. The persistent kisses pressing against me... It was an unmistakable, intuitive expression of intent.
If I went by my desires, I wanted to receive her love just like this, but I couldn't.
No matter how clouded my reason was, no matter how much I wanted to surrender my body to these urges, this wasn't right.
...Even though our lips had already met several times, it was still not okay...
When I conveyed my will firmly, my master tilted her head, puzzled.
"Why not?"
"...Huh?"
[Huh?]
Why... not? I blinked dazedly.
Why was kissing not allowed... Her question momentarily froze my brain.
I had never really thought about it. Because the answer was obvious.
You shouldn't carelessly kiss other people.
Isn't it natural that people shouldn't kiss each other unless they are intimate... a married couple?
Did I really have to prove the reason why by attaching a 'why' to it?
"Kisses are... something only married couples... should do..."
[Yeon-hwa]
"...I can't help it if that's what my disciple thinks, but aren't there always various perspectives in the world? In some regions, it's even treated as a simple greeting."
"Th-that's... I know that, but..."
I pursed my lips at my master's answer.
Of course, I knew that.
Just like I know that only married couples kiss like in the fairy tales I read as a child, and that a baby doesn't just pop into existence because you hold hands and sleep together.
I believed wholeheartedly in those fairy tales when I was young, but not anymore.
Even though I couldn't attend school properly, I looked up sex education on my own, in my own way.
Back when I worked part-time at a convenience store, I didn't understand why people would buy those rubbery bundles every dawn. I found it so curious that I looked into it a bit... and came to a realization.
Thanks to that, I also know how babies are made.
Still, the impressions I felt as a child haven't disappeared.
Of course, there was no room for childhood innocence to intrude during my actual childhood... but realizing the coldness of reality didn't erase the innocence of my early years.
I was too embarrassed to spill out such shallow thoughts, thoughts that even I considered stupid.
"Do you dislike it?"
While I was hesitating, her question cut in sharply, and my body stiffened.
Dislike it...
The moist sensation rubbing against my lips, the sweet scent and the touch full of affection. The emotional deficiency being satisfied through her...
"I d-don't... dislike it... B-but, even so..."
[Okay]
"Do you find this kind of behavior from me unpleasant?"
"No...!"
[No!]
Startled, I shook my head. My throat hurt from raising my voice, which I rarely did.
But more than that, being misunderstood by my master was far more frightening.
Afraid that she might come to dislike me, I quickly denied it and tightened my arms around her.
The Sky Wing Feather, which had been stretched out rigidly, also moved back and coiled around our bodies.
"No, no... it's not like that... I like you, Master... I definitely don't dislike it."
[I like my master]
"Then what is the problem?"
"U-um..."
My master adjusted her posture and cradled me in her arms, patting my bottom as if soothing a child.
I didn't have the knack for a complicated explanation. I darted my eyes around, then mumbled while avoiding my master's piercing gaze.
"Even so... I'm going to marry Yeon-hwa... so I shouldn't do this with someone I'm not married to..."
[I like Yeon-hwa...]
In the end, the fundamental answer was this.
There really wasn't any need for a long, drawn-out explanation.
I have someone I'm in a relationship with, so I shouldn't do this with someone else. It's a simple matter of morality and ethics.
Of course, I hadn't actually received a confession from Hong Yeon-hwa asking me to go out or anything, but...
"You don't need to worry about that."
"Huh? What do you mean, don't worry..."
"Dear, do you trust me?"
Suddenly, my master adjusted her sitting position. Then, she lowered her head and made steady eye contact with me.
"Huh? Yes, yes... I trust you..."
[I trust you]
I nodded without realizing it.
My master... my protector who cherishes me.
If I didn't trust this person, who else could I possibly trust?
At my firm confirmation, my master smiled as if satisfied and patted my bottom.
"Then it's alright. I figure your inclinations have been grasped by now anyway, and it's far too late to stop it."
"...?"
"I'll speak to that Hong Yeon-hwa myself. There won't be any big trouble, so don't worry."
I didn't understand what she meant.
But the words 'it's alright' were definitely included.
Honestly, even though I was desperately denying it now, my head was still spinning. I couldn't make proper judgments, and my body was tingling with heat...
- Fwooosh...
Hearing my protector say it was okay, the tension I had been forcibly holding onto immediately loosened.
"It's... okay?"
"Yes, it's okay. You don't need to change your thinking right this moment. We have time, so it's fine to change it slowly."
As I murmured dazedly, a hand brushed my head as if agreeing with me.
My master moved her hand. The stroking hand rested on my head, then tilted it back.
Our faces drew close again.
Truthfully, I still didn't really know. Honestly, I wasn't exactly overflowing with this kind of knowledge or experience...
In the previous world, the only person I could even call an acquaintance was Kkonnim, my internet friend.
On the other hand, my master was older than me and wasn't she a hero who had been active in the Demon Realm? At the very least, she must know such common sense more accurately than I do.
And, there's no way my master would deliberately say or do something that would harm me...
"Smack, chuu..."
This time, I didn't even have the strength to refuse. I dazedly met her lips.
* * *
To the people close to him, Lee Ha-yul is a cute and lovable child—someone who readily throws himself into others' arms without wariness and acts spoiled.
However, to those with a more distant relationship—those who only know him as a casual acquaintance—he is a fairly stiff and aloof figure.
He has a strange sort of wariness that makes him quite difficult to get close to.
He doesn't attack first, but Lee Ha-yul is like a hedgehog, erecting sharp, pointed wariness.
If you try to approach him without any tact, you're very likely to get pricked by those spines.
But once you brush aside those spines just a little, becoming close happens in an instant.
The moment someone gets past his wariness, approaches him, and shows affection, Lee Ha-yul's guard comes crashing down rapidly.
To be precise, once you cross that one uphill path, what follows is all downhill—no exaggeration.
Was it because of his innate disposition and unfortunate upbringing? Lee Ha-yul was a child not just thirsty for affection, but ravenously starved for it.
If one had to define it, it's extreme affection deprivation.
Maybe that's why Lee Ha-yul opens the door to his heart truly, incredibly easily to someone who fulfills his need for affection—especially maternal love.
"......"
As his master, Atra, repeatedly kissed him and showered him with affection, Lee Ha-yul melted in her arms and went limp.
Right now, he was in a state of quietly catching his breath, nestled obediently in Atra's embrace.
Even though she had acted coercively, the sight of him being conquered without putting up any decent resistance was truly lovely... but at the same time, a sense of crisis also flared up sharply.
He was extremely weak in resisting someone he had once grown close to.
In other words, even if it wasn't Atra, it was highly likely that Lee Ha-yul wouldn't be able to resist the forceful demands of someone he had opened his heart to.
Even under coercion, if the other party just pushed ahead blindly, his personality was such that he would fumble and bumble, eventually accept it, and comply even while flustered.
Atra hadn't misused that trait, but she couldn't guarantee that, after grasping this aspect of Lee Ha-yul's personality later, there wouldn't be bastards who approached him with the intention of exploiting it.
Of course, it didn't seem like Lee Ha-yul would fail to see through such dark inner intentions, but if a major accident were to happen—if he were to mistakenly open his heart to such a person... it would be difficult to deal with.
Since everyone around him knew this, hadn't they formed a sort of silent agreement among themselves to brush off the pesky flies that clung to him with such dark ulterior motives?
Atra was now feeling the weight of that danger more acutely. She would need to pay even more attention from now on.
Thinking this, she gently patted the bottom of Lee Ha-yul, who was burying his face in her chest, sniffing, and acting spoiled.
"Dear? Are you sleepy?"
"...I'm not a child."
[I like being patted]
Two contradictory answers. Atra let out a small laugh. His answers had been like that for a while now—was he so distracted that he hadn't noticed?
A truly adorable sight. Atra curved her eyes into a lovely smile and continued to pat his bottom.
"......"
Lee Ha-yul found that quite disagreeable.
Of course, he liked the feeling of having his bottom patted. It was very comfortable and... reassuring. But he felt a bit of a sulk toward Atra for treating him entirely like a child.
Normally, it was an emotion he would have just let pass, but Lee Ha-yul, heavily fanned by the Calamity Flame... and whose reason had been melted away by the heavy shower of affection just moments before... could not function properly.
As a result, his hands moved on their own, following instinct.
The hands hugging her back firmly moved downward. They slid softly down her back.
A soft sensation grazed his palms. A curve clearly visible even through her clothes.
By the time his hands reached their target, Lee Ha-yul didn't hesitate and squeezed the large bottom that filled his grip.
- Squeeze...!
The unfamiliar sensation, different from soft breasts, filled his grip.
Perhaps because he had used quite a bit of strength, the generous flesh that couldn't be completely contained spilled out between his fingers.
"Hyaak...!"
Caught off guard while adoringly fussing over Lee Ha-yul, Atra felt an unfamiliar and intense sensation shoot through her spine.
Atra's head instinctively tilted back, and a shrill sound escaped her lips.
* * *