Chapter 73
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 73
Chapter Title: Resolve
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After organizing my thoughts, I returned to the inn and lay down on the bed.
Lately, things had been too peaceful.
Still, I knew this peace wouldn't last forever.
The omens had already appeared.
The notification that the "Good Connection" buff had disappeared.
That's why I had to get stronger.
I knew Shan and Marcel were good people.
As long as I stayed with them, I could be protected from most threats.
But that's exactly why I couldn't.
Even though ominous signs had already shown themselves, sticking with those two would only put them in danger.
They were good people.
I didn't want anything bad to happen to them because of me.
Covering my eyes with my hands, I let out a sigh.
Even now, closing my eyes brought back the faces of Tory and the kids, tormenting me.
And that was just a brief connection.
If something happened to Shan and Marcel—if it happened because of me—I wouldn't be able to bear it.
"I have to get stronger."
All of this was happening because I was weak.
And though it felt uneasy, a surefire way to grow stronger had appeared.
I couldn't let this opportunity slip away.
As long as this world harbored hostility toward me, I had to become strong enough to overcome it.
So, how strong did I need to be?
It wasn't a question I could answer easily.
Would reaching Silver rank be enough?
At Silver, I could at least protect myself, right?
What about Gold rank then?
If I reached Gold, maybe I could handle not just protecting myself, but all the bizarre situations I created.
Either way, I was lacking right now.
Severely lacking.
So I needed to build my strength.
My current growth rate wasn't slow.
Even if I lacked talent and power, with two Silver adventurers teaching me directly, I had no choice but to progress quickly.
"...But 'pretty quick' isn't enough."
I was aware my situation wasn't normal.
That's why I needed rapid growth, even if it was risky—not just 'pretty quick.'
Helen, the Gold-rank adventurer, fit that expectation perfectly.
She had an oddly low aversion to killing, and her personality seemed rough, but as Shan and Marcel said, her Gold rank was no exaggeration.
She had the skills.
And she'd said it herself.
She could teach me more than Shan could.
How could I not be tempted? Even if things went wrong and absurd dice rolls appeared, a Gold-rank adventurer could handle it.
Or if she couldn't and ended up dead, that wasn't my problem.
I wasn't that kind of good person.
I just didn't want to drag the 'good people' who'd treated me well—Shan and Marcel—into danger.
What happened to Helen was none of my concern.
If a Gold-rank adventurer got in trouble, I wouldn't survive anyway.
When that time came, I'd feel relieved that Shan and Marcel were safe, grab my sword, and go down fighting.
My resolve was set.
So there was no need to delay—I could just explain my decision tomorrow.
But first, before that, I wanted to give gifts to the two who'd looked after me all this time, so I started pondering something entirely different, much lighter.
I was wealthy now, but that didn't compare to two Silver adventurers who'd been active for years at least.
So instead of something expensive, something with sincerity and heart would be better, right?
As I thought that, something came to mind.
The perfect gift for them was something I already had.
Lately, Rie had been shoving what looked like junk items at me.
They were strangely all demon-related, as if hunted by a saint, but to me, they all seemed decent.
I hadn't properly appraised what they were exactly.
I couldn't risk asking for an appraisal on items linked to demons I hadn't subjugated—what if something happened?
But pulling out just two to give to them should be fine.
I could trust those two.
"A mirror shard that reflects beauty... An music box that plays desired words in a desired voice once a day."
They all seemed valuable, but since Rie had handed them to me, they must be worthless junk to her side.
I decided to give the mirror to Shan and the music box to Marcel.
Suddenly, I thought it would be nice if the mirror showed me and the music box played my voice, but then I realized that would be creepy and shook my head to dismiss the silly idea.
What kind of thought was that—wanting them to see and hear me?
This woman's body felt too familiar after less than a year, filling me with self-loathing as I buried my face in the pillow.
"...If time passes like this, will I start acting completely like a woman?"
Imagining myself acting like a woman a few years from now—or maybe just months—I kicked at the air in anguish.
Like that, I lay there for a while.
Even after just a few months together, leaving felt regrettable, so I curled up into a ball.
From afar, I must have looked like a pill bug.
The time varied, but Grandpa, Ban, Tory, Shan, and Marcel.
Having to leave—whether by choice or force—annoyed me and stirred my heart.
I needed a strong heart, even if my body was weak on the outside.
But even that wasn't easy, so it was frustrating.
I knew better than anyone how unreasonable my situation was, but self-pity alone changed nothing, so I'd been trying to ignore it.
Yet now, facing another parting from good people, the unfairness hit me anew.
"I'll get stronger."
I vowed.
That was the only way out of this unreasonable situation.
No matter what.
"I'll get stronger."
Even if my talent was meager, I'd surpass Silver and Gold to reach the top, I vowed.
I was certain someone was toying with me.
The blatant hostility and mockery in the system messages were proof.
I'd definitely grow strong enough to kill them with my own hands, whoever they were, I vowed again.
Like that, I stayed awake all night until morning.
The sun rose, and birds chirped.
With the tournament and festival in full swing, the streets bustled with people.
I washed up and got dressed.
Strapped on my sword and slung my subspace bag over my shoulder.
I pulled out two of the 'junk items' that had been piling up in the bag lately and put them in my pocket.
"Will Shan accept it?"
Marcel would probably take it, but Shan hated demons and cultists so much, he might refuse.
A mirror shard that shows the beauty the beholder imagines.
A music box that speaks desired words in the listener's desired voice.
Since demon-related items always had bizarre effects, it was easy to guess these junk items I'd received were connected to demons.
"...If he won't take it, I can give something else."
I had plenty of money, so even if it lacked heart, I could make do.
I headed to the open lot where Shan and Marcel would be.
As expected, they were sparring.
The intensity was high, so I decided to wait quietly until they finished.
About 15 minutes passed.
As usual, Marcel lost, and only then did they turn to me.
Their expressions hardened.
Maybe they sensed my silent resolve.
"...So you've decided to go with Helen after all?"
"...Yes. I want to get stronger."
"It's your decision, so I have to accept it. Looking at your eyes, you wouldn't listen even if I tried to stop you now."
Marcel sighed but stared at me intently.
Then he approached and ruffled my hair.
It was forceful enough to shake my body with his hand, but it didn't feel bad.
A few minutes passed like that.
I took out the items I'd brought in my pocket and handed them over.
They looked surprised, but they accepted naturally, making the thousands of excuses I'd prepared on the way pointless.
It wasn't that they weren't curious—they were, but chose not to ask—and that touched me. All the more, childish complaints about not wanting to leave them swirled in my head.
"What? Having second thoughts now that it's time to go?"
"...Yeah."
"...Tch."
Marcel clicked his tongue and glanced at Shan, who sighed and came over to me.
"If you regret it, then don't go. Isn't that simple?"
"...Huh?"
"If it's a decision you made, don't regret it. If it's an answer you chose yourself, don't feel reluctant."
His tone was cold and stiff, without a hint of warmth, but that's what made it sincere.
"If it's what you desire and that's why you're leaving, don't look back—look ahead and seize what you want."
"...Yes."
"But."
But—Shan continued.
"If you want to give up along the way, if you realize what you thought you wanted isn't truly what you desire, come back anytime."
It was warm words, uncharacteristic of Shan.
For a moment, emotion welled up, but I swallowed it back and could only nod since my voice wouldn't come.
"You're all gathered here?"
In the midst of this touching exchange, a low, rough voice interrupted.
I didn't need to turn to know who it was.
Helen.
Hiding my tears as best I could, I spoke.
"Helen."
"Yeah?"
"I'll go with you."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"Made up your mind, huh?"
I ignored the amusement in her voice and got to the point.
"When do we leave?"
"...In a month?"
"What?"
The longer-than-expected timeline made me turn and look at her puzzled, but Helen stared back as if I was the weird one.
"I want to win the tournament first and get at least Silver. You know as an adventurer—Silver is when you start getting treated like a human. Plus, I just came back from a tough request, so I deserve to enjoy the festival."
"Ah."
I'd assumed we'd part today, but we had a full month.
The emotional farewell felt forcibly postponed, so I scratched my cheek awkwardly.
An unexpected month of leeway.
It didn't feel bad, but...
What to say.
I felt incredibly awkward.