Chapter 48
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: Jealousy
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Every action exuded elegance.
The pure white uniform she wore was neither torn nor soiled in the slightest.
The silver armor draped over it reflected the sunlight so dazzlingly it hurt the eyes, and she showed her face without the slightest hesitation—everything about her was the complete opposite of me.
Compared to the saintess, every one of my movements felt pathetic. My clothes were dirty and tattered.
Instead of radiance, I gave off a dull, gloomy air, and showing my face only filled me with fear.
I'd had so many things I wanted to say if I ever met the saintess.
Dozens of times, I'd even imagined stabbing her to death in my head.
But now that she was actually approaching me, I realized I wasn't ready at all.
Far from anger or resentment boiling up, I just felt flustered.
Why was the saintess here?
I wondered if it was an imposter, but Shan had said outright that she was the real saintess.
Shan wouldn't mistake someone for her.
"...Are you really the saintess?"
"Yes! Though imperfect, that's what they call me."
Saintess Rie beamed with a bright smile as she spoke innocently, and in response, Shan and I couldn't help but stay on guard against her.
Why had the saintess come here?
The fact that we were staying here was supposed to be a secret.
Even though it was just a day's journey from the capital, a hunter's lodge deep in the forest wasn't a place anyone would normally visit.
It wasn't somewhere you could stumble upon by coincidence.
I slowly backed away, hiding behind Shan's back.
No matter how little I trusted Shan, he was still better than the saintess right in front of me.
"How did you find this place?"
Shan shielded me behind him and eyed the saintess warily in my place.
"I received a revelation. One telling me to come here and give a gift to Lady Eli."
"...A revelation?"
"Yes!"
Rie spread her arms wide as she said it.
She'd received a revelation and come here.
A memory surfaced at her words.
Streamer Rie had seen my infiltration of the devil worshippers' base as an opportunity.
Was that why she'd manipulated the saintess to approach me?
But why now, of all times?
If all she wanted was the location of the devil worshippers' base, there was no reason to come rushing here so quickly.
I got the sense there was some other scheme at play, and my wariness of the saintess deepened.
Wasn't I the only one finding her suspicious? Shan murmured in a low voice.
"...So, what did this revelation tell you to give as a gift?"
"Clothes and armor!"
Conveniently, they were exactly what I needed most.
Shan looked down at me. Mustering my courage under his gaze that asked what I wanted to do, I took one step forward from behind him and stared straight at the saintess.
Hiding behind Shan wouldn't solve anything.
At this point, I had no choice but to think the moment I'd been waiting for had just arrived a little early.
"Saintess."
"Yes?"
There wasn't even a trace of hardship on her face.
Her eyes sparkled with jewel-like vitality, and even knowing we were wary of her, she didn't hide her smile.
Her composure oozed out visibly.
She had everything I lacked.
A burning sense of inferiority welled up.
But I didn't show it.
I still had that much sense left.
I looked up at the saintess.
Nearly 190 cm tall, a sturdy build, a refreshing impression.
My height under 140 cm, soft body, gloomy impression.
From what she wore to how she moved, her speech, even her physical features—everything was the polar opposite. It felt like Rie had deliberately designed her this way.
"What is this revelation?"
First, I decided to gather information.
"When the goddess speaks to me, I call it a revelation."
So she took Rie’s meaningless ramblings not as nonsense, but as divine revelations.
That meant, at least, she wasn’t in the same situation as me.
While I was lost in thought, the saintess pulled a box from her backpack and set it down in front of us.
Inside were clothes and armor.
Dark ones, the opposite of the saintess’s pure white attire.
The shirt was so oversized it could pass for a dress even without pants underneath, while the pants were so short they barely seemed like pants at all.
Rie’s tastes were on full display, huh.
And the grayish leather armor was so flexible that calling it armor felt off—you could wear it like an everyday jacket.
Doubting if it even offered any protection, the saintess said:
"With these, at least you won’t get sliced to death!"
It had no shock absorption, so you could still get stabbed or bludgeoned to death, but she brightly assured us with a smile that small-time thugs charging in to hack at you wouldn’t pierce this armor or outfit.
"...Are you sure you can just give away something so valuable?"
"I’m just following the revelation—it has nothing to do with my own will!"
That’s not something to say so cheerfully.
Talking to the saintess felt... off somehow.
I got that she was handsome and skilled, but something was missing.
"I’ve brought the gift as per the revelation, Lady Eli. Will you accept it?"
Her kindness felt unsettling.
She was smiling, but her eyes weren’t— that’s what it felt like.
Under some inexplicable pressure, my instincts screamed that refusing would be disastrous, so I nodded slightly and accepted the clothes and armor.
Then I changed into them right away.
The exposure was way less than my old clothes, but my legs felt strangely bare, leaving me with a weird sensation.
"It suits you perfectly!"
The saintess clapped enthusiastically, delighted, and Shan and I could only shake our heads at the sight.
She’d come all this way just to hand over some clothes and act all giddy about it.
The intimidating aura from when we first saw her had vanished completely.
"So you really just came to give me clothes and armor?"
"Yes!"
She declared it so boldly, as if that truly was all, leaving me without grounds to argue.
A cross-shaped sword gleaming silver, a pure white uniform embroidered with gold thread.
Snow-white hair and mysterious purple eyes.
I’d heard so many rumors about the saintess’s appearance that my ears had practically blistered, so I knew this was the real one—yet her frivolous behavior felt so out of place.
"Saintess."
"Yes?"
Her affable smile and beaming face were growing more irritating by the second.
Was I just hating on the saintess and projecting?
Or was she actually hiding some ulterior motive?
Even the hand resting on her waist was starting to grate on me.
The tension eased.
The confusion and absurdity faded bit by bit, and my usual negative emotions began to creep back in.
"I have a question."
"Ask me anything!"
"What if some being you can’t resist toys with you for fun, then discards you when it gets bored?"
"...Hmm."
The saintess furrowed her brow, as if pondering.
Honestly, I didn’t need to put it so bluntly.
Just probing lightly would’ve been enough.
But I couldn’t hold back.
Her showing up like this, pretending to be carefree and acting all innocent.
I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I wanted to vent anyway.
With the target of my resentment right in front of me, there was no reason not to lash out.
"And then you find out that same being latches onto someone else, treating them so much better. How would that feel?"
"...Hmm!"
The saintess groaned again, furrowing her brow deeper, but didn’t answer.
"The discarded one lives in daily agony, while someone else, despite the same being’s involvement, lives happily ever after..."
"Ah, that’s a misunderstanding!"
"...What?"
The saintess, who’d been groaning and acting troubled up to now, finally spoke up with an awkward smile.
"Sure, people envy the honor and wealth I’ve gained—it’s only natural. But that doesn’t prove it’s happiness, does it?"
"That’s what people who have everything say."
"Yes, if I had those things... hmm, I probably could claim to be happy enough."
The saintess gave a wry smile and bent her knees to meet my eyes at eye level.
"But I can’t move of my own will for even two hours a day. Can I really say those things I have are truly mine?"
"...What?"
"As you said, Lady Eli, I have many possessions and abilities. But I never wanted any of them."
The saintess continued, gazing deeply into my eyes as if sharing her innermost thoughts.
"I envy you, Lady Eli. No matter how hard it is, at least you have freedom."
"...Freedom."
"On the surface, I seem prosperous, but in the end, I have nothing. My body isn’t even my own... How could I be happy?"
That’s when I realized it.
Why her eyes hadn’t been smiling.
Just as I’d felt jealousy, inferiority, and resentment toward her...
She’d felt envy toward me, too—so she couldn’t just smile.
Disgusting.
Someone who had everything I wanted, saying she envied me—it wasn’t going to sound good.
Politeness didn’t matter anymore.
"Still... I envy you."
"I’m jealous of you too, Lady Eli."
Each of us only saw the other’s possessions as greater.
No matter how much we kept talking, it’d just be bragging about our own foolishness, so we both clamped our mouths shut at the same time.
How long did that silence last?
The saintess let out a sigh full of regret.
"Another... revelation has come. Now I must return to the capital. Lady Eli, Shan. I’ll take my leave."
The saintess clicked her tongue, gave a courteous bow, and turned to vanish from sight.
Her retreating figure looked utterly exhausted.