Chapter 84
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 84
Chapter Title: Rambling Comfort
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After the unexpected end to the duel between Shibata Katsuie and Il-yeong, the two of them sat sipping tea, their gazes fixed on the courtyard where they had just sparred.
Pour...
Soon, Il-yeong handed the steaming teacup to Shibata Katsuie. Of course, drinking tea while masked was a bit awkward, so the surrounding samurai had tactfully kept their distance.
They had worried about a possible ambush, but upon realizing who they were dealing with, they obediently withdrew.
"......"
Silence flowed between them.
But Il-yeong had no intention of letting it linger. He took a sip and asked,
"Do you have something to say?"
She wouldn't have sought him out otherwise. As Il-yeong expected, Shibata Katsuie nodded readily.
"I've given it some thought."
"Speak."
Squeeze.
She gripped the teacup lightly. Her hand, wrapped around the round cup, was a bit rough for a woman's.
She had never felt ashamed of it before, not for a single moment. But today, for some reason, a wave of doubt washed over her, and she unconsciously tried to hide it.
Was it right to say this to him?
She still hadn't decided, but she soon steeled herself and opened her mouth.
"I appreciate the consideration, but the situation isn't favorable."
"I imagine so."
"I'll have to prove everything I've accomplished all over again. And even if things go well, serving Lord Oda Nobunaga as my liege will require no small resolve."
She seemed deeply shaken by the way the people of Suemori Castle looked at her. It was understandable.
Even in Il-yeong's eyes, their gazes were far from kind.
'I wonder what posterity would say if they knew.'
Il-yeong knew she was a fierce general who would make her name known in later generations—one of the four great generals called the Oda Four Heavenly Kings, always mentioned first.
But he also knew that to the people of this era, she was just one commander who had shone brightly only to tumble down.
With that thought, Il-yeong let out an involuntary chuckle.
Or perhaps it was a sneer.
Her dilemma was ultimately born from Il-yeong's intervention. Of course, in the original history, Nobuyuki did lose to Nobunaga...
'But it was the faction itself that fell.'
Since Nobuyuki's entire camp had been defeated, paradoxically, no single individual bore the blame. But by crushing her in a duel at Iino, Il-yeong had turned Shibata Katsuie into a scapegoat for those in Suemori Castle—a convenient outlet for dodging responsibility.
"If you hadn't been there, we could have won"—that kind of ridiculous excuse.
And she wasn't unaware of it.
No, perhaps she knew it all too well, which was why she wore that bitter smile as she bared her heart to Il-yeong, her former enemy. Because of that, Il-yeong found himself asking,
"Don't you feel any doubt?"
He hadn't said it outright, but their brazen attitudes infuriated even Il-yeong. That might be why he had gone out of his way to cut down an unnamed low-rank samurai.
What if a grand battle had unfolded at Iino as they claimed, and she had lost? Shibata Katsuie would likely have died in battle, and they would have rushed to Nobunaga like dogs, groveling on the floor to beg for their lives the moment they heard the news.
On the other hand, if she had won, those bastards would have rubbed their greasy bellies and spent the night whoring in the pleasure district, muttering something like, "We won because we did well."
"How could I not?"
As if reading Il-yeong's thoughts, Shibata Katsuie unconsciously raised her hand and lightly traced the long scar running from her cheek to her nose. It was far too crude and ugly for a woman's face.
A civil official might get away with it, but for someone who wielded a sword, her battlefield fame—or infamy—would follow her like a tail. And this incident had branded her with the label of "defeated general" for life.
She knew even those who had once revered her as an "ogre" now turned their backs. Knowing that all too well might have made her mind even more tangled.
From the moment she had gripped a sword, she had never regretted it. But now, doubt was creeping in—it was true.
So she simply sat there, head bowed, silently feeling the tea in her hand cool.
Il-yeong lowered his gaze and watched her quietly.
Her golden hair and eyes, her snow-white skin twisted in a complicated expression—it wasn't a pleasant sight even from the sidelines.
Still, he couldn't help but feel pleased when his eyes fell on her scar.
Did she realize it?
That she had grown natural about dropping her mask in front of him.
Il-yeong gazed at her clutching the cooling teacup with a complicated face, then murmured his thoughts in a flat tone.
"Do you know what the sweetest comfort is for the weary?"
"...?"
He had seen a motivational lecture once.
Maybe a friend had recommended it.
"It's okay to stay as you are. It's not your fault. So what if you're a little different? You'll be happy just taking care of yourself..."
Thud.
He set the teacup on the floorboards and chuckled.
"Irresponsibly sweet, foolish, and dull thoughts."
If she accused him of "Who are you to judge those thoughts?", he wouldn't argue. But Il-yeong simply conveyed what he believed.
"Staying as you are isn't okay. We're all somewhat at fault in the chain of cause and effect. Being different isn't wrong, but failing to adapt or blend into society because of it is. Same with just looking after yourself."
Shibata Katsuie tilted her head, as if struggling to grasp his point. But Il-yeong pressed on.
"Life is a continuous struggle. It doesn't have to be fierce every day, but it can't be meaningless either. And accepting the results of that struggle is entirely our own responsibility."
Meeting her upturned gaze, Il-yeong gave a low chuckle.
"Because in the end, it's ourselves who endure it."
Every action has consequences.
And endless repercussions follow.
What if she had won against him? She would likely be receiving the treatment he was sparing her now.
'No, worse.'
He already had plenty of enemies. At least Shibata Katsuie had no one openly slandering her, but if Il-yeong had lost, all those harboring grudges would have pounced like vultures.
Il-yeong shook his head at the thought.
A meaningless what-if.
"What I mean is simple."
He drained the now-cold tea and scattered it across the courtyard. Then he poured fresh hot tea and spoke.
"You don't need to forgive them or understand them. But don't blame yourself too harshly either."
No matter how angry she got at them, or how much she blamed herself, the only change would be a few lives lost or saved.
Shibata Katsuie was someone who would enter Il-yeong's fold anyway. He already knew her capabilities. For that, she couldn't afford to break.
It could be seen as selfish.
But Il-yeong had no intention of denying it.
"In this one life we get, being a little kinder to yourself isn't such a big deal, is it?"
"......"
Is that so.
She should have said that, but for some reason, her lips wouldn't move. Instead, she gripped the fresh tea Il-yeong had poured.
It was a rambling talk.
So emotional and one-sided that neither Il-yeong nor she would remember exactly what was said.
Yet, why?
"......Thank you."
Feeling her heart ease a little, she rarely smiled.
Watching her, Il-yeong thought.
That scar she so wanted to hide actually suited her perfectly.
'What am I thinking.'
Il-yeong soon chuckled.
What kind of thoughts during a moment of comfort. In any case, the mood had lightened considerably.
Thud-thud!
Sudden urgent footsteps from behind.
"L-Lord!"
Itsuki's panicked voice.
Clang!
Screeeam!
If not for the ensuing sounds of battle.
In that instant, Il-yeong and Shibata Katsuie's eyes met. Without a word, both sprang up, grabbing not wooden swords but real blades.