What the Hell...? (1)
I was an ordinary college student.
If I had to pick out one thing that set me apart from everyone else, it would be that I worked a little more than the average student.
After my parents passed away, there was no one left to cover my living expenses, so I didn't really have a choice.
Rent, utilities, my phone bill—
money leaked out of my account nonstop just for existing.
But I had no intention of dropping out of school, so naturally I ended up juggling two part-time jobs.
It was hell at first, but after a few years of living like that, having my schedule packed solid from Monday to Sunday actually started to feel normal.
In fact, when a free day came along where I had nothing to do, I'd get awkward because I didn't know what to do with myself.
Today was exactly one of those days.
"Hey, Han Siwoo. You said today was your day off, so why do you look so dead tired?"
Baek Joohyeok, sitting across from me, asked as he looked at my face.
"You think one day off undoes months of exhaustion?
I covered two extra shifts this week. I'm fucking exhausted."
"That's what I keep telling you—don't overwork yourself. You're going to wreck your body."
"Rich Mr. Baek Joohyeok wouldn't understand,
but us commoners have to work if we want to eat.
You think I can live like you, never once checking my bank balance?"
"Want me to give you money if you need it?"
"I'm good. When have I ever asked you for money?"
Talking to this bastard was pointless, as usual.
Baek Joohyeok was a friend I'd known for years,
but he lived in a world a little different from mine.
Back when he found out I was struggling to make ends meet after my parents died, he out of nowhere asked me to come live at his place.
At first, I thought he was just offering to let me have a spare room.
Then I actually saw the house, and my opinion changed.
If it takes time to walk from the front gate to the front door, is that even a house?
That's a tourist attraction.
And once I found out there were live-in servants on top of everything, I gave up even comparing it to my studio apartment.
I didn't want to lean on him and take his money besides.
Part of it was that I'd made it this far on my own, but if I started taking living expenses from a friend, it would feel like selling off the last shred of my pride.
"Then at least eat something expensive today. My treat."
"Really? Anything I want?"
"Yeah. Anything."
"Then let's go get hanwoo beef. Somewhere crazy expensive."
"Sure."
"...Hey, at least pretend to think about it. I'm the freeloader here and even I'm embarrassed."
"You're the one who said you wanted to eat."
Joohyeok casually pulled out his phone and started searching for restaurants nearby.
Having a rich friend really is great.
You take his money and it hurts your pride, but mooching a meal is fine?
Getting treated once in a while doesn't count.
He's the one offering to spend his money. I say thank you very much.
After eating, we killed time at an arcade, then drifted into a nearby noraebang.
Just hanging out with zero thoughts during hours I'd normally be working a shift was genuinely pretty enjoyable.
By the time we'd sung our fill and stumbled out, it was somehow already closing in on eleven at night.
"Let's head home. I have a shift tomorrow."
"Want to grab a drink at your place?"
"Did you not hear me? I have work tomorrow."
"You can pace yourself. You're not going to sleep right away when you get home anyway."
He had a point.
I was the type to complain about being tired every other sentence, then lie in bed scrolling my phone until the early hours once I actually got there.
But alcohol was a different matter.
"No. If I drink with you, there's no such thing as pacing myself.
Last time you said one bottle, and we killed three."
"I'll buy the drinks and the food."
"What food?"
Joohyeok looked at me like I was an idiot.
"You just said no a second ago?"
"I'm hearing the terms first so I can make a rational judgment. Go ahead."
"I'll buy whatever you want to eat. And the drinks are on me."
I considered it for a moment, then nodded.
"Deal. But we're seriously drinking in moderation.
If I can't get up tomorrow morning, you're covering my shift."
"Okay. I'll go for you."
"You lunatic. What would you even do there?"
"Just do whatever they tell me."
"This is the guy who'd hand a customer one americano at a café and charge them a hundred thousand won for it."
"Is a hundred thousand won a lot?"
"...Just don't do anything, ever."
Moments like that genuinely made me wonder how he and I ever became friends.
My studio apartment was not exactly spacious enough for two grown men to be drinking.
Still, Joohyeok had been over more than once or twice, so there was nothing uncomfortable about it.
He naturally stocked the fridge with booze and snacks,
and I pulled out my small folding table and set it up in the middle of the room.
"Hey, grab two cups."
"Cabinets above the sink. You get them."
"Isn't this your house?"
"Which is why I so kindly told you where they are. Great service, right?"
"Do you even consider me a guest here?"
"Mr. Baek Joohyeok. This is a self-service household."
Grumbling, Joohyeok went and found the cups himself.
Funny how a guy who had servants waiting on him at home was uselessly well-adapted to someone else's household chores.
The drinking session went like it always did.
We spent a good while cursing out the nightmare customers at my café, moved on to school talk,
and somehow ended up on the story of the time the two of us got lost on a trip.
"I remember you insisting it was this way. Did you forget?"
"We made it to the hotel eventually."
"We did. Three hours later. After I hailed the taxi."
"Good memories."
"If I ever travel with you again, I'm an idiot."
"Should we go next month?"
"No."
"How about Jeju Island?"
"You booking the flights?"
"Yep."
"When?"
"Where's your pride?"
"My pride costs less than a plane ticket."
Bullshitting about nothing in particular, we somehow made it to a second empty bottle.
We'd definitely agreed to drink in moderation, but that was a separate matter from tomorrow morning's me cursing us out.
That was when Joohyeok threw out a completely random question.
"By the way, Siwoo. What would you do if a guy confessed that he likes you?"
"What—out of nowhere? Did some guy confess to you?"
"No. Just asking because I'm curious."
"What would I do? I'm not into guys, so I'd turn him down on the spot."
"What if it was someone you were really close with?"
"A friend would be even worse.
With a stranger, you say no and never see them again, done.
But imagine a friend suddenly telling you they like you.
How are you supposed to look them in the face after that?"
"You could just keep being friends."
"You think the guy who confessed could pull that off?
I do something without thinking, and they start reading meaning into it.
Things would get so goddamn awkward."
"Then there's zero chance, huh."
"Obviously. I like women."
Once I'd answered that far, something felt off.
"Why do you keep asking about this? Did some guy actually confess to you?"
"I told you, no."
"Then do you like guys?"
"Even more no."
"Then why are you asking, you lunatic?"
"I was just curious. Drink your booze."
Normally I would've pressed him one more time, but the alcohol was kicking in,
and I didn't have any reason to be interrogating my friend's romantic preferences anyway.
"I'm going to the bathroom. Don't eat all the food."
"I'll buy more."
"Then eat up."
I did my business in the bathroom and even washed my face with cold water.
Looking at my reflection, I could tell I was pretty drunk.
When I got back to the room, Joohyeok was staring at his phone.
"I'm seriously going to sleep after this one. You figure out your own way home."
"Yeah. Just this one."
"Don't pass out and crash here. You love your own place so much, why do you always end up sleeping at mine?"
"It's comfortable here."
"What's comfortable about this cramped little shoebox?"
"You're here."
"Don't say gross things."
I downed the drink Joohyeok had poured for me in one go.
After that, my memory went blurry.
***
The next morning.
When I opened my eyes, my head felt like it was going to split open.
Judging by the fact that I couldn't even remember when Joohyeok left, it seemed I'd passed out first.
I reached blindly toward the bedside without even opening my eyes properly to check the time, but my phone wasn't there.
"Ugh, where'd it go..."
The moment I opened my eyes in irritation, sleep vanished completely.
The ceiling was different.
The ceiling of my studio was covered in the glow-star stickers, stains, and every kind of mark left by the previous tenant,
but the ceiling above me now was pristine, like a hotel's.
I sat up and looked around. A sofa and table sat a little ways from the bed,
and on the opposite wall there was an enormous window.
Of all the people I knew, exactly one guy could own a room like this.
"Baek Joohyeok, you absolute lunatic. You hauled me all the way to your house?"
I had to get to work anyway, so I got out of bed planning to wake him up and shake at least a taxi fare out of him.
That was when I felt a strange weight on my upper body.
"What the...?"
The instant I glanced down without thinking, my brain stopped.
"...What is this."
Only then did the other wrongnesses hit me all at once.
The hair brushing my arms had grown absurdly long,
and the way my body moved felt nothing like yesterday.
No amount of alcohol could swap a person's body overnight.
And yet the body I was in right now was, no matter how I looked at it, not right.
"No, wait a second—"
A full-length mirror on one side of the room caught my eye.
No way. But I couldn't just not look.
The moment I stood in front of it, a curse nearly tore out of me.
A woman I'd never seen before stood there, with long silver hair and bright green eyes.
Her build was far smaller than mine had been up to yesterday.
When I raised a hand, the woman in the mirror moved exactly the same way,
and when I touched my face, I felt the sensation right at my fingertips.
"...What is this?! What the hell?!"
Even my own voice coming out was foreign.
High and slender—a woman's voice.
At this point, no amount of "I'm still drunk" could explain it.
"No, uh... fuck. Is this real?"
I went back over yesterday, but nothing unusual stood out.
I drank with Joohyeok,
he asked me a weird question,
I went to the bathroom and came back and had my last glass.
Then my memory cut out.
That was when the door opened.
"Oh, you're up?"
Baek Joohyeok stood in the doorway, dressed casually.
"Hey, Baek Joohyeok. Explain what the hell is going on, right now—"
I tried to demand answers, but I couldn't finish.
His friend had turned into a woman overnight, and Joohyeok wasn't surprised in the least.
Instead, he looked me up and down once, then even broke into a satisfied smile.
"Did you know?"
"Know what?"
"That I'd end up like this."
Joohyeok didn't answer.
The moment I saw that reaction, suspicion hardened into certainty.
"What did you do to me? What did you put in my drink last night?"
"First, calm down and go wash up.
Once you're done, I'll explain everything from the beginning."
"Does it look like I can calm down?!
I woke up and I'm suddenly a woman?!"
"Which is why I said I'd explain."
His utter nonchalance just made me angrier.
"I left a change of clothes in the bathroom for you."
"Why the hell did you prepare clothes for me?"
"Because you don't have anything to wear right now."
The moment those words landed, something else clicked.
If he hadn't known this was going to happen, there'd have been no reason to have clothes ready in advance.
"You stay right there, got it?
We're talking after I wash up. If you run, you're dead."
"Run where? This is your house."
"Don't talk back! I'm seriously pissed off right now."
I went into the bathroom, found the clothes waiting at the far end, and was left speechless all over again.
"Hey, Baek Joohyeok!! You call THIS clothes?!"
A calm voice drifted in from outside the door.
"That one's yours."
"I didn't ask whose it was, you insane bastard!
Why is it a maid outfit?!"
"I thought it would suit you."
"Aargh! You lunatic!"
Laughter came through the door.
"Wash up and come out. I'll be waiting."
I stood there glaring at the maid outfit hanging before my eyes for a long while.
Until yesterday, the extent of my worries had been this month's living expenses and tomorrow's shift.
Then I'd slept one night and woken up a woman,
and the cause appeared to be my closest friend.
And that lunatic had gone and prepared a maid outfit on top of it all.
One thing was certain.
There was no way I was making it to work today.