The Knife's Edge
Thud.
Han Yeoryeon collapsed to the floor, clutching her slapped cheek.
The bustling school gate fell into stunned silence in an instant.
"You fucking bitch."
Ma Yeonseo spat the curse under her breath, then lifted her heel as if that weren't enough.
"Ma Yeonseo!!!"
I snapped out of it and rushed to block her.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Why hit her?!"
"……."
"You show up out of nowhere and…! Yeoryeon, you okay?"
"…Y-yeah…."
Han Yeoryeon, still on the ground with a hand to her cheek, trembled in fear as she grabbed my hand.
She'd said she'd never even been hit by her own thug of a father.
My heart sank with helpless guilt.
"I'm sorry…! This is all because of me…!"
"…N-no…! It's not your fault…."
Han Yeoryeon glanced warily at Ma Yeonseo.
"……."
Ma Yeonseo just stood there silently, watching us.
I couldn't read her at all—what was she thinking?
"Yeoryeon. I'm really sorry, but… I'll call you later, okay?"
"…Y-yeah…."
Part of me wanted to apologize properly on her behalf, but right now, damage control came first.
I hustled Han Yeoryeon to safety, then grabbed Ma Yeonseo's hand with a scowl and dragged her away.
"Come with me."
She followed without resistance.
We changed venues—to Ma Yeonseo's house.
It was always a place full of joy and happiness whenever I visited, but not today.
"Ma Yeonseo."
I'd held it in the whole taxi ride, but now, as she casually plopped onto the sofa, I forced my anger down and asked.
"What the hell was that earlier?"
"What was what?"
Her calm tone carried the nuance that she hadn't done anything wrong.
That brazen attitude finally broke me.
"You really don't get it? You barge into school and slap her out of nowhere! Are you insane?"
"Yeah. I am."
"W-what…?"
"How could I not lose it when that slut's flirting with my man?"
Ma Yeonseo locked eyes with me, her sharp gaze piercing like she knew everything.
I flinched under that knowing stare.
"What bullshit is that? She's just a friend! A classmate, that's all…!"
"So you hid her from me because she's 'just a friend'?"
"…What…."
Come to think of it, yeah.
Why had she shown up at school so suddenly?
And how had she slapped Han Yeoryeon without a second's hesitation?
"You thought I wouldn't find out?"
She'd known everything from the start.
No, how….
I had no idea how she'd uncovered my connection to Han Yeoryeon, but that wasn't the point right now.
It was her behavior, plain as day.
"Does that make what you did okay…? Think about it! Slapping someone in front of everyone…! If you're upset, talk it out—don't hit people!"
This was between us—we should've handled it ourselves.
But Ma Yeonseo acted like she was in the right, utterly unapologetic.
"Some people don't get it with words."
"What…?"
"See? What did I tell you? I said don't get close to other girls, over and over. And what? A 'friend'?"
"…That's…."
"Yuchan. Who lied first and broke their promise?"
I wanted to argue, but the words wouldn't come.
I just wanted a normal school life like everyone else. Was secretly making a friend a crime?
I ached to vent those hidden feelings, but she'd nailed it—I'd lied and hidden it first.
It was all my fault.
All of it.
"You should've… hit me instead…!"
Overwhelmed by suffocating frustration, I lamented in a trembling voice.
But she wouldn't have it.
"How could I hit you?"
She said it so casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I could never hit you. I'd die first."
"…!"
A faint madness flickered in her eyes.
"…Yuchan…."
She drew close, reaching out to caress my face.
Her honey-dripping gaze overflowed with love at her fingertips, handling me like a fragile, priceless gem.
Then, suddenly, she gripped my face, her eyes sharpening as she whispered low.
"People who love each other don't hurt one another."
Those words stabbed my heart like a dagger.
"I-I…."
Flustered, I fumbled for any words.
But she shook her head slowly, cutting me off.
"It's okay. I know how you feel. It's all that bitch Han Yeoryeon's fault—she got what she deserved. Right?"
Her gentle tone clashed with the one-sided blame-shifting.
"You didn't lie because you wanted to, did you? Probably not?"
"N-no…. I…."
"You're not at fault."
She sliced off my words coldly, then hugged me tight.
"Not one bit."
Those icy barbs hidden in her chill words pricked my skin all over.
A warning.
This was a warning.
I could get away with anything, but no one else could.
From now on, watch yourself—a stern "warning."
Ugh….
Chills raced over me, my breath catching.
I finally grasped what her "love" truly meant.
She wasn't right in the head.
I have to do something.
Terrified of the woman I'd once adored, I shook myself alert and pushed her away from my embrace.
Swallowing hard, I said gravely.
"Yeonseo. I'm truly sorry for lying and hurting you."
"……."
"But even so. If you keep acting like this…."
"……."
"I don't know if I can keep liking you."
"…You hate me?"
Her eyes darkened in an instant.
"No…! Not hate…."
This was her last chance to change her ways.
I desperately calmed myself, trying to persuade her gently.
"How can I like you when you hurt people around me and act so reckless? Right?"
But she twisted further.
"So you hate me, then."
"Not yet…. Not yet. Just don't do it again. Okay?"
"…So I'll be hated soon?"
"Yeonseo…!"
That's when it happened.
She strode toward the kitchen.
"I'm not done talking!"
I couldn't take her outbursts anymore and yelled.
Ignoring me, she reached the kitchen and…
Smoothly drew a kitchen knife.
"!"
A razor-sharp blade that could slice with a graze.
"Y-you…! What are you…!"
Ma Yeonseo turned back with utter calm.
She handed me the handle casually.
"Kill me while you still love me."
"W-what…?"
"Before you start hating me."
Were my ears broken?
Or was she spouting nonsense?
Stunned speechless by her shocking act…
"Don't want to? Fine, I'll do it."
She flipped the knife reverse-grip, blatantly.
"P-put that down now?!"
I freaked, screaming to stop her.
"You're not in your right mind! Drop the knife ri—!!"
And then.
"I love you. Kang Yuchan."
Staring straight into my eyes, she confessed and swung the blade at her own throat.
"No!!!"
Crash!
I barely threw myself to block it, panting raggedly as my shaking hands pinned her down.
"……."
Even crushed beneath me, she gazed up calmly.
Her emotionless face gave nothing away—what was she thinking?
What the….
She terrified me—like a time bomb ready to blow anytime.
"Please, just stop! It's all my fault…!"
"…What fault?"
"……."
"What did you do wrong?"
"I-I…! Hid a friend on my own…! Yelled at you…."
"And?"
"…Said I might hate you…. Harsh words…."
"And?"
Each admission choked me, twisting my gut.
"That's it?"
"……."
I hung my head, unable to continue. She sighed, rising and embracing me tenderly, forgiving my sins.
"It's okay. Just do better from now on."
"……."
Tears welled from unspeakable sorrow.
I have to break up.
My mind screamed not to let this slide, but…
I couldn't voice it.
Terror of what she'd do next sealed my lips.
I was weak.
"Sorry."
I apologized properly to Han Yeoryeon.
"N-no! It's not your fault…. I'm really fine!"
She waved it off like nothing, but that only deepened my guilt.
So I started keeping my distance.
"Hey, Yuchan…! Can we talk a sec…?"
"…Sorry, I'm busy right now."
"Oh…. Okay…."
Truth was, I missed hanging out like before.
Gender aside, no one clicked with me like her.
But…
Every time that thought surfaced, Ma Yeonseo's warning echoed.
Who knows what she'll do next.
She'd pulled a real knife, ready to die over breaking up.
What couldn't she do?
I had to prevent her rampages, even if it meant lying to myself.
Yeah…. I only need Yeonseo…. Just Yeonseo….
Summer break soon arrived.
Ma Yeonseo, who always went to the US, stayed in Korea.
"Happy you get to be with me, right?"
"Y-yeah…. Happy…."
I started "commuting" to her house every morning, "clocking out" late evening.
Every day was torture.
"Yuchan…. You look so tired lately?"
"…No?"
Mom noticed, asking worriedly….
"Your face is so pale these days. Want me to get some supplements?"
"…I'm fine."
If it was supplements, her house already stuffed me with overkill amounts.
I dragged my feet like livestock to the slaughterhouse, day after day.
"Eat this."
"Okay."
I ate what she gave.
"Kiss."
Mwah.
Occasional playfulness.
"Bought this for you. Cute, right?"
"…Yeah. Thanks. I'll wear it well."
Not much changed after school resumed.
How long did I live like a mindless doll, killing my own heart?
A milder winter than usual.
Break came, and Ma Yeonseo jetted off to the US.
"…To the US?"
"Staying long this time. No exceptions."
"Oh…. Okay?"
"Happy I'm gone?"
"N-no. Of course not…. Have a safe trip. I'll wait."
True freedom at last, after so long.
Being alone feels this good?
Awkward at first, but soon I savored it fully.
Rest on my terms, spend time my way.
Even lying doing nothing brought a smile.
Who knew no one bothering you was such bliss?
Dodge her random check-ins, and nothing could stop me.
Nothing!
"…Not picking up…."
I was deep in sweet freedom when…
A snowy night, flurries whipping outside.
Alone, waiting for Mom.
Something wrong…?
She should've been home by now—no word all late night.
A recent chat nagged at me.
"If anyone asks about 'Uncle,' say you know nothing."
"Suddenly? …Something up?"
"I'll tell you later. Just do that, okay?"
Mom had just told me to hide her link to "Uncle."
Related to his disappearance ages ago?
Can't wait. Gotta check the mart.
I couldn't hold back worry and headed out—just as my phone buzzed.
Bzzz. Bzzz.
Speak of the devil.
Mom calling.
"Mom! Why so la—."
But.
"…Yes?"
"Is this Kim Yunjeong's son? Your mother Kim Yunjeong is…!"
I heard the unexpected news.