I Became a Woman
I Became a Woman
Junwoo, who had been quietly listening to the story, spotted the pill bottle on the desk and changed the subject.
"Is that it? The medicine for your genetic disease?"
"Uh, well, yes... but it's not really a cure... I guess you'd call it a medicine that slows the progression?"
I had no idea that the vitamins I diligently took three times a day after every meal were actually medicine to slow the progression of a genetic disease.
At first, I felt deeply betrayed by my parents, but now I understood.
In the end, it must have been an act for their child's sake.
"Are you still taking it regularly?"
"Yeah. I don't really understand it well, but they say it suppresses the female hormones building up in the body and acts similarly to an anticancer drug to prevent the sex chromosomes from mutating... If I don't take it, could I suddenly become a woman?"
I said it as a joke, laughing, but I didn't even want to imagine such a terrible thing.
"Seoyun, do you hate the idea of becoming a woman?"
"Of course I do..."
"Why? I think it would be better if you became a woman."
"What... how could it be better! Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable."
If I had lived my whole life as a woman from the start, maybe it would be different.
But having lived 20 years of my life as a man, becoming a woman now would mean facing a completely new challenge from A to Z.
Knowing just how inconvenient a woman's body can be, Seoyun detested the idea to the point of shuddering.
"Seoyun, I think you'd suit being a woman. You're already plenty cute and pretty, aren't you? Don't feel anxious just because of your gender. I'll always be by your side no matter what your gender is."
"Uh..."
Somehow, it felt like I was being confessed to.
Hearing him say that much, maybe becoming a woman wouldn't be so bad...?
"No, what are you saying!!"
Seoyun, whose face flushed red for no reason out of embarrassment, yelled and pushed back her chair to stand up.
"I'm just... gonna go to the bathroom for a sec."
"Okay. Take your time~"
Junwoo chuckled, saying the embarrassed Seoyun was cute.
How dare he treat me like a fool without knowing how I feel.
Seoyun's desire to get angry was sky-high, but she left the room as if fleeing.
"Back from the bathroom? Let's study now. I'll help you."
"Okay."
With the exchange of conversation over, it was now time to invest time for the future.
Junwoo helped Seoyun with her studies wholeheartedly.
After having dinner together, it was late at night by the time he went home.
"I'll come again tomorrow. I have a lot of time since I'll be at home until I re-enroll."
"Uh, bye..."
Seoyun waved awkwardly as she saw Junwoo off.
Even though she could see him again tomorrow, she felt depressed because parting was too regrettable.
Why is this happening?
Somehow...
It felt like my affection for Junwoo was gradually turning into love.
"I must be crazy, seriously."
It seemed like my emotional fluctuations were getting more severe as the days passed.
I'd get deeply disappointed over trivial things, feel tears welling up over small sadnesses, feel incredibly happy over joyful things, and keep craving sweet foods.
I had no idea why this was happening.
Before bed, Seoyun opened the pill bottle and poured the pills into her mouth.
Since she was physically feeling the hormonal changes, her dependence on the medicine had increased even more.
"Ugh..."
Lately, after taking the medicine, her head throbbed as if it would burst.
Had some side effect appeared now?
Overwhelmed by drowsiness, Seoyun threw herself onto the bed and lay down.
...
...
...
At that time, she knew nothing.
The fact that the medicine she always took had been swapped with the wrong one.
Seoyun's physical condition worsened day by day.
A mound formed on her chest, flesh gathered here and there on her body, and for some reason, she felt her strength draining away.
"Haa..."
She felt dazed all day as if she had taken sleeping pills.
Intuiting that her physical condition was serious, Seoyun secretly went to the hospital for a check-up without telling her parents.
She didn't want to cause them unnecessary worry.
"This is strange. Female hormones are rapidly increasing, causing physical changes. Have you been taking your prescribed medicine regularly?"
"Huh? Yes... I've always been taking it. Three times a day without fail, consistently since I was a child..."
"Strange... Then why on earth is this happening..."
The doctor carefully scanned the chart and swallowed a sigh.
The sex chromosome genetic disease was incurable, but symptoms could be suppressed through consistent medication.
A patient who had never shown a single symptom in 20 years suddenly came to the hospital with a feminine appearance overnight..?
This being the first such case, the doctor was racking his brains, unable to find the cause.
"Um... is it a serious situation?"
"No. It's still okay for now... but to be honest, I don't know the cause."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. The sex chromosome genetic disease is extremely rare, so there's still no cure. For now, suppressing the symptoms through medication is the best method, but the medicine is literally a temporary measure."
Seoyun, listening intently with wide eyes.
The doctor kindly explained, adjusting to Seoyun's level of medical knowledge.
"You have to be careful about drug interactions when taking medicine. Depending on the intake method and situation, the medicine's effects can change. Sometimes, vitamins that are good for health can turn into poison. You know, like how eating soy sauce marinated crab and dried persimmons together causes diarrhea."
"Yes, I understand."
"So, Seoyun-ssi, have you done anything particularly different recently when taking your medicine?"
"Not really. Truly."
"Hmm, then why is this happening..."
The doctor stroked his scratchy beard and tilted his head.
No matter how much he thought about it, it was a situation he couldn't comprehend with his common sense.
"For now... let's continue taking the medicine regularly and monitor the progress. I'll prescribe more..."
"No! It's okay. I have a lot of the medicine I'm taking left. I'll come with my parents next time."
"Well then... okay, I understand."
Seoyun, whose circumstances weren't good, found the medicine cost burdensome.
Even with health insurance benefits, it was better to save as much as possible.
"Thank you. I'll visit again later."
"Yes."
Seoyun bowed her head to the doctor in a nod of farewell and returned straight home.
After having a simple lunch and taking her medicine, she felt the usual headache and fell asleep.
"Ugh... ugh..."
That day was no different from usual.
Meeting Junwoo to study together, lying on the bed during break time fiddling with her phone, stretching her sluggish body and doing simple strength exercises, having a meal, then taking her medicine, feeling a headache as if her head would burst, and falling asleep.
An utterly ordinary, unchanging daily routine.
But Seoyun could only open her eyes two weeks later.
"Hooh... haa..."
Breathing was difficult.
Her whole body felt heavy as if pressed by a weight.
Forcing her heavy eyelids open with difficulty, she saw the blurry ceiling of the hospital room.
"Doctor! The patient is awake!"
The nurse who had entered to change the IV discovered Seoyun with her eyes open and ran out of the room.
Unable to grasp the situation, Seoyun watched the nurse run out and closed her eyes.
"Hoo-ha..."
Drowsiness was pouring over her too heavily...
The time Seoyun woke from sleep again was evening as the sun was setting.
She first discovered her mom sitting by the bed, tightly gripping her hand and crying.
Her dad, who had said he quit smoking, was looking out the wide-open window while smoking.
The cigarette butts piled high in the ashtray looked like a cactus.
"Sob, Seoyun... I'm so glad you're alive. Really..."
Seoyun's mom hugged Seoyun's body, shedding tears excessively.
Still unable to grasp the situation, Seoyun could only perceive the changed reality after meeting with the doctor who came to see her.
"Seoyun-ssi, so... first, your body will be very uncomfortable."
She knew without being told.
Her limbs, emaciated to the bone from not eating for two weeks, wouldn't obey.
"Your voice also won't come out well. Because your airway was blocked and a tube was inserted all the way to your lungs, the inside of your throat is swollen, but it'll get better with time."
Unconsciously swallowing her saliva, Seoyun frowned at the pain of her throat feeling completely blocked.
Like this, she couldn't even eat porridge, let alone rice.
"Your body has already become a complete female body... but we need to monitor the progress further. For the time being, I recommend hospitalization."
What?
Thinking she misheard, Seoyun opened her eyes wide and looked at the doctor.
If her limbs were fine, she would have grabbed the doctor by the collar and shaken him right then.
"You must be very distressed. Sometimes uncontrollable impulsive actions may occur, but that's due to the hormonal changes, so please continue taking the prescribed medicine regularly."
The doctor briefly checked Seoyun's health condition and left the room.
Seoyun's mom patted her chest and shed tears, while her dad held an unlit cigarette and looked at the tree outside the window.
Their only son, whom they had raised with difficulty for 20 years, had become a daughter in an instant.
They couldn't possibly compose their emotions.
"Mom... Dad..."
Her deeply affected throat condition improved, and Seoyun called her parents.
An unpleasantly high-pitched voice flowed from her mouth, feeling foreign.
"I'm okay."
Seoyun, who must be more distressed than anyone, told a white lie for her parents' sake.
The mom, moved by her foolishly grinning daughter's heart, couldn't stop the tears that burst forth.