So Sweet It Made My Stomach Churn
The day of the festival, 9:40 in the morning.
I stood in front of the mirror, rearranging my bangs over and over again.
What if I look weird to Minhyun...? That was all I could think about.
Today was the day I'd be going around the festival with Minhyun, just the two of us... I had to do this right.
After steeling myself, I set off for school.
"Sihyeon! Over here!"
He'd apparently arrived early, well before our agreed time. The way he waved to me in the sunlight... it really was like a painting.
"Thanks for today! Um... where should we start?"
Like an idiot, I kept tripping over my words whenever I was in front of this boy.
"Oh... anywhere! Anything's fine!"
We started with the booths near the sports field. Minhyun won me a stuffed animal at the shooting game, we went into the haunted house and bolted halfway through, and we bought chicken skewers to snack on along the way.
Minhyun was gentle. He matched his pace to mine, laughed at my jokes even when they weren't funny.
He was perfect. Just like the rumors said. No—as good as the rumors, and then some.
...He was perfect, and yet.
I asked a question, he answered, I laughed. Then another question. It felt exactly like... a fan meeting with a script.
No... Min Sihyeon, stop thinking like that.
Minhyun chose me today—me, not all those other girls—as the person to spend the festival with. That had to mean something.
My head was already a mess, and to make matters worse, students kept coming up to greet Minhyun as we passed.
...Mostly girls, at that.
"Oh? It's Kim Minhyun!"
"Hey! Kim Minhyun, come watch our show later!"
Every single time, I stood half a step behind him... like a piece of the background.
Because his friends would touch their faces, loop their arms through his without a second thought, doing every kind of skinship imaginable like it was the most natural thing in the world.
A celebrity on stage, and me in the audience seats.
We were walking side by side, but that distance... it never got any smaller.
It felt shabby... and dirty.
And then—just as I was being swept along by the crowd in the central walkway—
"Sihyeon, we'll get separated at this rate."
Minhyun held out his hand, smooth and effortless... and I took it.
There was no reason to shake him off. This was just... courtesy, that's all.
Then, just as Minhyun was about to let go, I spoke first.
"...Can't we... just keep holding hands? Minhyun."
He looked a little flustered, his face flickering with surprise, but then he smiled.
"It's... a little embarrassing, but okay. This is... my first time doing something like this too... ahaha..."
"...Hey, don't lie. You're telling me a guy like you has never—"
Minhyun just shrugged, grinning.
"I mean it. No one's ever... actually asked me to the festival before. I guess I was too much for them to handle..."
"You're my first too, Sihyeon."
...Really?
I'm this boy's... first?
I was still lost in that thought when Minhyun suddenly spoke up.
"...The Cooking Research Club's maid café! You've heard about it, right? Apparently the desserts are insane. Bang Arin from our class is working there too—let's go check it out! Sihyeon, you're friends with Arin, aren't you?"
...I hadn't even caught what he was saying a second ago, and now, a maid café?
Wait... that place is...
"Uh... th-that place... I heard the line's crazy long..."
"Aw, come on, Sihyeon! Half the fun is waiting in line! Let's go, let's go!"
I couldn't come up with a reason to say no...
So I let Minhyun's hand pull me along, toward the annex building.
First floor of the annex.
The line stretched all the way to the end of the hallway, and a sign hung beside the window.
♥ Cooking Research Club Maid Café — Welcome Home, Master ♡
...One look and I knew—that was Eunha's handwriting.
The entire time we stood in line,
the truth was... all I could think about was how to escape.
Should I say my stomach hurt? Or... suggest we go somewhere else first?
Minhyun was kind... he'd probably go wherever I wanted.
But the line shrank with cruel speed, and—
without the courage to flee, and without the courage to walk in either—
our turn came.
My eyes met Eunha's. She was hard at work greeting customers outside.
Eunha gave me a slow once-over, then did the same to Minhyun beside me, then stared at me with an expression of pure speechlessness,
while Arin, on the other side of the door, fixed me with an icy glare.
"Welcome home, Master! A party... of two?"
The one who broke the silence was a girl I'd never met before.
...No, wait—I'd seen her. Through the crack in the practice room door... she was the girl who'd been sticking right next to Kang Suho.
"Yes, two of us."
Minhyun answered before I could.
The girl led the two of us to a seat by the window.
The moment we walked past, a buzz rippled through the café.
"Hey, it's Kim Minhyun. The soccer team guy."
"Oh... right, that Class 1 Mr. Perfect? I think he's in the band too."
"Who's that next to him? His girlfriend?"
"They were holding hands when they walked in, right?"
Then, behind us, I saw Eunha grab the sleeve of that same girl—the one I'd seen before—and whisper something to her.
"...Huh? ...Her? ...Oh."
I could just barely hear the girl's voice drop.
...Don't tell me Eunha is talking behind my back. No way. Right?
The first one to reach our table was Arin.
I thought she always hated "girly" clothes... so how on earth did she end up wearing that.
She set two glasses of water down on the table, and the clink— rang out with startling clarity.
"...Your order. Master."
Minhyun greeted Arin warmly, since she was in his class.
"Oh, Arin! So you're working here too? That outfit really suits you!"
"...Thanks. Your order."
...Arin seemed oddly softer toward Minhyun than she was toward me, too. It must be my imagination.
"Ah, sorry, sorry. Um... one soufflé pancake, and one omurice! What do you want, Sihyeon?"
"...Same for me."
A little later, I could see Kang Suho making our food in the open kitchen.
...More precisely, even from our seats, the way Kang Suho worked was in full view.
Minhyun watched him with a look of genuine fascination,
and it wasn't just us—nearly everyone in the room was murmuring "whoa... she's really good..." as they watched Kang Suho cook.
While all those eyes were fixed on him, the girl who'd seated us earlier came over to our table.
...There was a name tag pinned to her chest. Hong Jihye.
So this was her.
The girl who'd pulled Kang Suho... into this club.
The girl spoke as if... she wanted me, specifically, to hear it.
"This soufflé pancake was made with a lot of painstaking effort. Master. He's good, isn't he? ... Our Suho."
...Our?
Why did it feel like she deliberately stressed that word—our?
It's not like she's known Kang Suho for all that long, either...
Before long, the girl came back carrying our finished dishes.
...With Kang Suho beside her.
"Your soufflé pancake and omurice, Masters. Enjoy."
"Whoa... this is incredible!"
Minhyun's eyes went round the second he saw the food, his whole face lighting up with delight.
...Objectively speaking, Kang Suho really was good at cooking. So of course. Yeah, this was only natural. Obviously.
This time, Kang Suho spoke.
"The soufflé will collapse if you put a spoon or fork into it, so we recommend eating it right away. In that case, please enjoy your meal—"
Just as Kang Suho turned to leave, Minhyun struck up a conversation.
"The soccer guys were telling me you're an amazing cook! And you're close with Arin... oh, wait, do you two know each other too, Sihyeon?"
Kang Suho looked at me for a long, still moment, then answered in a low voice.
"...Yes. We know each other well. Master. She's my seat neighbor in class. We used to go everywhere together, back in the day."
Minhyun said, in a bright, guileless voice, looking right at me:
"Whoa... I'm so jealous, Sihyeon. Having a friend who can cook like that..."
"...Yeah."
That single word was all I could squeeze out.
After Hong Jihye and Kang Suho left, we started eating.
"Sihyeon, this is unreal! Try it, quick! It's so soft and fluffy..."
Nudged along by Minhyun, I raised my fork like a machine.
The soufflé... split open in a soft puff. The moment it hit my tongue, the sweet richness of butter and egg bloomed across my mouth.
So soft... so sweet... that it made my stomach turn.
"How is it? Good, right?"
"...Yeah. It's good."
It was delicious. So delicious— that I felt like I might cry.
And so, as I sat there eating with Minhyun... it seemed the maid café had reached its break time.
Five minutes at most. During the brief pause while they stopped taking customers... three girls clustered themselves around Kang Suho.
Hong Jihye from before, and... my friends. Eunha and Arin, both of them.
From where I sat, I couldn't make out their conversation properly, but Kang Suho laughed every so often... and he looked happy.
As happy as when he was with me... no, maybe even happier than that.
I looked back down at the plates in front of me.
I hadn't paid attention before, but now I saw it—the ketchup heart drawn on the omurice, squashed just slightly out of shape...
just like my heart.
God, I'm on a date with Minhyun right now... so why am I like this?
What on earth am I thinking, looking at Kang Suho? Have I... actually lost my mind? Seriously.
So what if there's a whole crowd of girls hanging around Kang Suho... who cares. Who cares.
I was struggling, desperately, to act like the food was delicious... to act like I was having fun... to act like I was happy, in front of Minhyun.
And on top of that... my chest had been suffocating like crazy since earlier.
I wanted to spit out everything I'd eaten, right this second.
...I wanted to get out of here.
I wanted to leave, and undo everything I'd just eaten—as if it had never happened.
"...Um, Minhyun... could I go... to the bathroom for a second? My stomach feels... a little off."
Minhyun's face went white in an instant.
"A-are you okay? Sihyeon? Sh-shouldn't we go to the hospital?"
"Oh no... what do I do. Maybe I ate something bad earlier... ah..."
...He's too nice for his own good. Kim Minhyun.
I forced the words out with everything I had.
"...No, I'm fine. I just... need a quick trip to the bathroom."
After struggling to turn down Minhyun, who wanted to walk me to the nurse's office,
I slipped into the very last stall of the annex's women's restroom, locked the door, and lifted the lid of the toilet.
"Urgh... ugh... hck..."
...Only after I'd emptied everything out of my stomach did I start to feel a little better.
After the sound of the toilet flushing away—
I cried, without end, muffling every sound.
"Huk... kkh... sob... hnn..."
Because I was so pathetic... so wretched.
Today was supposed to be it—the day I'd dreamed of, on a date with Minhyun... and I couldn't stand how pathetic I was, hiding in here like this.
I felt guilty for thinking about... another man, in the middle of my date with Minhyun.
...And, and... more than anything—because it felt like I was ruining all of this... with my own two hands.
I just... hated all of it. Every single thing.
And of all of it, the thing I hated most of all... was me.