Chapter 90
Chapter 90
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 90
Chapter Title: Stirring Up Trouble in the Ming Dynasty (5)
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Wang Zhen stared at me as if I were utterly absurd.
If I weren't the envoy from Joseon, he looked ready to spit right in my face and demand, "What kind of bad medicine did this Joseon barbarian swallow?"
Even for someone as famously gentle and kind-hearted as me, that glare stung a little.
I'll have to soothe this pain by sowing a few more Japanese pirates along the Ming southern coast.
It heals my hurt feelings, and Joseon gets even freer from pirate raids. How perfect is that?
'Joseon wins, I win.'
But misunderstandings like this dissolve quickly with a touch of sincere, slightly exaggerated praise.
The fact that I'm a kind and gentle soul is acknowledged not just by our Gyeol, but by my father-in-law and every official I worked with at the Ministries of Finance and War.
Wang Zhen here will soon learn just how warm-hearted I truly am.
O Great British Empire, who once tried to fund your war chest by peddling opium only to fail in the end, grant this devoted follower just a sliver of your power (lies).
"Why would a lofty envoy from Joseon take any interest in the calligraphy of a lowly eunuch like me?"
You're about to bolster the eunuch faction in line with the Hongxi Emperor's will to strengthen imperial authority, becoming the crown prince's tutor.
But fate has a cruel joke in store: the Hongxi Emperor will drop dead when his son, the crown prince, is just nine years old.
Then, as a minister honored as the emperor's teacher, you'll claim the greatest authority and prestige available in Ming, backed by a vast eunuch network (complete with military oversight).
Plus, the Zhengtong Emperor will be a dimwit who loves playtime before puberty and women afterward.
You'll embody the archetype of the rotten eunuchs—the Ten Eunuchs from Romance of the Three Kingdoms—to perfection.
That's why I'm flattering you early; no hidden agenda here.
'You're a blue-chip stock guaranteed to skyrocket a thousandfold.'
"My name is Kim Dae-bung. In Joseon, I serve as a Fifth Grade Junior Military Official."
"Remarkably young to have risen so high. For someone like you to show such favor to a mere eunuch like me leaves me utterly flustered."
My rank translates to a mere Seventh Grade nobody in Ming terms, but factoring everything in, Fifth Grade at my age is far from lowly.
For someone starting at Ninth Grade, it takes about thirteen to fifteen years of service to reach.
Once I revealed my status, Wang Zhen ratcheted up his wariness toward me just a notch...
But now, I'm launching a full-scale charm offensive to clear the air. Brace yourself, Wang Zhen.
"My own career wasn't all smooth sailing. But no need to worry—I'm not here to bore you with long tales when you're so busy. Let's skip to the good part."
The eunuch organization is like an ant colony, unified around the emperor.
Assume virtually all information known to eunuchs flows straight to the emperor.
Conversely, any non-classified info the emperor knows can easily reach the eunuchs too.
They'll quickly suss out what kind of person I am through their established intelligence network.
What I say here will spread via Wang Zhen among the eunuchs and soon reach the emperor's ears.
"I'm a vassal from a small kingdom, dispatched to celebrate His Majesty's ascension."
"Even a wretch like me knows that much."
Still thorns in his tone? Fine, let's see how sharp they stay.
"His Highness declared that sending envoys like me is Joseon's path to forging friendly ties with the Great Ming. Thus, as a Joseon minister in Ming territory, I must gather intelligence on the Great Ming to take home, while striving to earn even greater trust from His Majesty."
Strictly speaking, Joseon agents collecting Ming intel through interpreters or Chinese-speaking laborers (disguised merchants) in the capital, plus smuggling on the side, is illegal.
But Ming has no real reason to block nations eager for its information or trade profits, so it turns a blind eye.
Thus, no need to panic if I'm gathering info to build friendly relations.
'As long as it's not military secrets.'
"In the course of that, I heard tales about a certain eunuch named Wang Zhen."
"How do people assess a eunuch like me?"
Wang Zhen, who had been on guard until moments ago, shifted his demeanor, perking up his ears eagerly.
Most eunuchs are forcibly castrated by destitute parents with no other options for their families...
This one was different—he volunteered.
The reason? Rather than scraping by as a village tutor, he craved the power, wealth, and recognition that came with being a eunuch. Pure madness.
Of course he'd care what others thought of him.
"The civil officials called you a presumptuous eunuch strutting around because he can read—a surefire future member of the Ten Eunuchs, a treacherous villain of the realm. They sneered that only insane lust for power would drive a man to castrate himself."
As someone who knows the future, I can say the civil officials nailed it.
This lunatic, who chose castration as an adult for glory, ultimately wrecks Ming completely.
Beijing falls; only the tragic hero Wu Sangui barely holds the line, sparing Ming from being carved in half.
"On the other hand, among the eunuchs, many respect you as 'teacher' for your literacy and call you such."
"As I expected, the civil officials despise me."
"They simply fail to recognize your true value."
This is sincere too.
If this guy were a Joseon traitor instead of a Ming one, I'd arrange some 'natural' demise to send him packing to the afterlife.
Only by rampaging in Ming does he create openings for Joseon to reclaim lost territories cleanly.
In Joseon, his recognition obsession would twist him into a Sejo-like thug leading every evil scheme.
Wang Zhen tilted his head after hearing my assessment.
"Then how do you see me, sir?"
"You'll become a man like Sima Qian."
At the name Sima Qian, Wang Zhen's eyes trembled. Then a smile crept across his lips.
It stretched so wide it nearly reached his ears.
But one slip of the tongue now, and all the groundwork I've laid crumbles in an instant.
Stay sharp.
"Your paths mirror his closely. Strictly speaking, Sima Qian suffered unjust palace castration for offering frank counsel. You, however, lowered yourself to eunuchdom to pursue your own ambitions."
As a history scholar, it pains my conscience to compare Sima Qian—legend of Eastern historiography, worthy grand chancellor—to trash like Wang Zhen...
But as a Joseon official channeling the collective genius and imperialism of the Great British Empire, which wrapped colonial plunder in the sacred 'white man's burden'...
...I'll do whatever it takes for righteous revenge against China, scourge of countless Koreans.
"Yet Sima Qian endured every torment to honor his father's dying wish and record history truthfully. The result? 'Records of the Grand Historian,' a work embodying his life, ensuring his name shines for over two millennia."
"Your words ring true."
Wang Zhen had served as a tutor in his county office.
In twenty-first-century terms, think provincial four-year university professor.
That's how he held the crown prince tutor post for nearly a decade.
Even empowering eunuchs to bolster imperial power, the Hongxi Emperor couldn't entrust the 'teacher' role long-term to an illiterate.
"And to my eyes, you're on that same trajectory. Isn't that the case already? Rankless in Neishe Hall, you're directly teaching countless eunuchs. Why else? His Majesty sees the loyal patriotism in your heart and your profound scholarship."
"Sir."
Tears streamed from Wang Zhen's eyes.
Yes, after I've built up a man who volunteered for castration out of recognition hunger like this...
No wonder the tears. I understand completely.
"When you have time, could you write some calligraphy capturing your convictions?"
"Of course, sir. Though a vassal from afar, you've seen my worth and praised me so highly. How could I refuse a simple piece of calligraphy?"
"My thanks. I'm truly fortunate."
The Master said it's better to do nothing than to do it halfway.
So if you're set on flattery, deliver the knockout blow properly.
"Right now, a request like this gets your calligraphy easily. But later? Even a fortune in gold might not suffice. In that spirit, my gift in return will be most generous."
That very day, shortly after parting from Wang Zhen, I received the calligraphy penned by his own hand.
The content was remarkably noble, unbefitting his future as a corrupt official.
'Indomitable Spirit'
It means never bending, no matter how many times broken.
In exchange for the calligraphy, I gave Wang Zhen a full two jin of ginseng.
The rumor, naturally, spread throughout the entire palace.