Chapter 88
Chapter 88
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 88
Chapter Title: Stirring Up Trouble in the Ming Dynasty (3)
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The journey to the Ming Dynasty was truly grueling.
Even though it should have taken just three or four days by ship, thanks to the Ming's diplomatic policies, we had no choice but to go on foot.
The time dragged on endlessly, the roads were treacherous beyond belief, and it was pure hell.
With the mindset that this too shall pass, we gritted our teeth and endured, and finally, our envoy delegation arrived at the Forbidden City in Beijing.
I wanted nothing more than to collapse into a bed right then, but we still had one crucial task that couldn't wait.
"Your subject, Minister of Rites Maeng Sa-seong, serving as Deputy Envoy of Celebration and Condolence, has come by order of King Yi Do of Joseon to mourn the passing of the late Emperor and congratulate the new Emperor's ascension."
In Joseon, even the prime minister rarely knows the full details of the king's illness except in extreme cases.
So there's no way the foreign Ming would tip off Joseon with something like, "Our emperor is about to die."
They're worried Joseon might scheme against them if they did.
As a result, it's impossible for Joseon to predict when the emperor might die.
In principle, we'd send an envoy once upon the emperor's death and once for the new emperor's ascension.
But since they're hiding the information, it's impossible for us to dispatch envoys twice in that narrow window between the death and the inauguration...
That's why the Ming recommends combining the roles: the envoy celebrating the new emperor's ascension (which implies the previous one's death) also handles the condolences as Deputy Envoy.
'How awfully thoughtful of them.'
The emperor seated on the dragon throne offered words of comfort to our delegation.
"It is an undeniable fact that all things under heaven, all scholarship, and all propriety originate from the Central Florescence. Yet the remnants of the Northern Yuan and the Jurchens refuse to submit to Chinese order, abandoning morality to revel in killing and plundering. The Japanese pirates busy themselves only with ravaging Ming coasts, showing no interest in embracing the splendid culture of our Great Ming. And yet they dare call their leader the emperor of the land where the sun rises—what absurdity is this?"
Even in the 21st century, the Chinese think they're the best in the world.
Drunk on their own superiority.
Some even genuinely believe that speaking loudly in Chinese at tourist spots like Myeongdong makes the barbaric Koreans cower in awe of China's majesty.
Their SNS is full of nonsense like Korean women idolizing Chinese culture.
But in this era, when the Ming is rightfully seen as the world's greatest power, anyone who steps up to say otherwise would just hurt their own mouth.
That punk emperor spouting such nonsense so shamelessly is proof of it.
Everything good comes from the Ming?
Those very people adopted the barbarian custom of live burial sacrifices, entombing people alive—what a joke.
"In contrast, though Joseon is a Dongyi land not part of the Central Florescence, it has donned propriety and humbled itself to embrace Chinese scholarship, truly deserving to be called a land where rites thrive. We welcome the envoys from the Eastern Land of Propriety."
The term "Eastern Land of Propriety" might sound nice at first glance, but it's not.
Among Western historians, when examining the Sinocentric order, it's viewed as an imperial system centered on the Ming.
And nations incorporated into it, paying tribute, are akin to colonies.
In other words, colonies without actual direct rule.
Thus, "Land of Propriety" means Ming Colony No. 1.
Minister Maeng Sa-seong thanked the emperor upon hearing his words.
"Your imperial grace overwhelms us, Your Majesty."
"The late emperor left a testament: ever vigilant against the northern barbarians and southern pirates, yet treat Joseon, as a vassal state, with benevolence. Therefore, return and relay these words exactly to King Yi Do of Joseon."
People often say tributary diplomacy was a profitable deal for Joseon.
But that's a huge misconception.
During King Taejo Yi Seong-gye's time, the Ming made outrageous demands like a loan shark seizing assets. Even under King Sejong, they demanded massive tribute solely for their benefit.
The sweet "Joseon-only-benefits" tributary trade we imagine started after the Mid-Joseon Coup, when the Ming became convinced Joseon wasn't much of a power.
Having declared, "I won't touch you Koreans," it's now time to start extorting money.
"If Joseon is a vassal state, it must naturally offer tribute to serve its lord. Have King Yi Do, as before, present princesses, eunuchs, military horses, gold, silver, and other tribute goods. We shall receive them and reward you generously."
He'll keep his word.
The problem is that by their standards of "generous," Joseon always loses out.
When Joseon spends around 1 billion won to prepare tribute, by Ming standards, preparing equivalent tribute costs them only about 100 million won.
So from the Ming's view, giving Joseon luxuries worth 300 million won counts as absurdly generous repayment.
The emperor saves face for the Ming while weakening Joseon's national strength—a two-birds-one-stone effect. That's the issue.
"You've suffered much on the long journey—withdraw and recover from your fatigue."
"Your imperial grace overwhelms us."
Overwhelms my ass. Now that we're here and facing that bastard emperor, my gut boils even more.
It's like driving a wedge into my resolve to tear China apart by any means necessary.
Because of those bastards, dozens or hundreds of Joseon families endure the agony of selling their daughters to the Ming every year.
How immense must that grief and resentment be?
As a 21st-century Korean, I absolutely won't forgive these scum.
The saying goes that a gentleman's revenge is never too late, even after ten years. I'm no gentleman, so even if it takes ten—no, twenty years—I'll have my revenge.
'I came all this way for revenge.'
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Some call diplomats this way:
Someone who can openly show their face in that country and spy in the 21st century.
Our Joseon envoy delegation is much the same.
Having come as envoys, naturally, for Joseon's eternal prosperity and glory.
We must gather as much internal Ming intelligence as possible.
Of course, the chief envoy, deputy, secretaries, and interpreters are under constant surveillance, making it hard to snag truly critical secrets.
But pinpointing the key figures to flatter counts as a major success.
So I set aside all my pride and resolved to collect maximum intel to prepare for the day I wreck the Ming.
"Thanks to Your Excellency's gracious care of the Joseon envoy delegation, even here in the Ming, I've avoided any mishaps or illness."
"For a Joseon secretary like yourself to use honorifics even with a lowly eunuch like me... No need for that. Please withdraw them."
Joseon is nominally a Ming tributary.
As such, Joseon ranks aren't fully recognized equivalently in the Ming.
They apply "secondary ranking," downgrading by two grades.
A Joseon rank 1 becomes rank 3 treatment in the Ming.
The Ming's "lowly officials" are rank 6, so my downgraded rank 7 junior treatment puts me below this guy technically.
But as a eunuch, his actual status is far lower.
That's why he's telling me not to use honorifics.
However, eunuchs—having lost their manhood—go mad for power and money instead...
When I humbled myself like this, he couldn't hide the smile creeping across his lips.
"Joseon is a vassal of the Great Ming, and Your Excellency serves directly under His Majesty, does he not? As a subject of a subject of the Great Ming, it would be strange not to respect you."
"Heh, if you put it that way, I suppose I have no choice. And to think Joseon has a vassal minister who treats the Great Ming with such deference—His Imperial Majesty would be most pleased to hear it."
This castrated bastard serves the emperor directly.
Bribing him is tantamount to Kim Dae-bung offering tribute to curry favor with the emperor.
Same with flattery.
Other Joseon officials don't bother flattering eunuchs, but I can.
To wreak havoc on the Ming.
"And this is a modest token of my sincerity for Your Excellency."
"No, no need for such things..."
Even as he said it, the eunuch's hand shot out to snatch the gift.
His eyes bulged like saucers upon seeing the contents.
"Isn't this ginseng?"
Ginseng is widely used as a yang tonic—an aphrodisiac.
One might think giving it to a eunuch is an insult...
But Joseon ginseng is the supreme renowned medicine prized everywhere in the Ming.
In other words, one root equals a gold bar in value.
Just as no one hates gold in this world, no eunuch would hate ginseng.
"Please accept it. And I've heard a rumor. They say there's a literate eunuch in the palace."
"Ah, you mean that Wang Jin fellow? Most eunuchs like myself are illiterate, but he was an instructor at the Hanlin Academy, so he knows his letters well... And yet he's not arrogant, serves his superiors dutifully—a fine fellow. Even lowly eunuchs call him 'teacher,' they say."
A smile formed on my lips as I heard his words.
Back when Founder Zhu Yuanzhang was alive, any eunuch who could even write a single character would be torn limb from limb.
Because that bastard dreaded eunuchs meddling in politics.
But now this Emperor Xuande is so blind, using eunuchs to bolster imperial power, that he tolerates literate ones—even calling them 'teacher.'
"Is that so?"
"Indeed. When I entered the palace, it was unthinkable. When the Founder was alive, he'd execute them as wicked ministers for knowing even one character, ripping their bodies apart."
This time, I handed the eunuch a fan made in Joseon.
He unfurled it, clearly pleased with the bribe, and gave me a meaningful look.
"For Joseon to have a fine minister like you—truly splendid. I'll be sure to relay your story to the grand eunuchs."
Through the grand eunuchs, my tale will naturally reach the emperor.
As a minister who bows his head deeply to the Ming.
This should classify me as pro-Ming.
Of course, I who hate the Ming have zero intention of doing them any favors.
The moment the eunuch left, I headed straight to meet Maeng Sa-seong.
To share some good news.