Chapter 157
Chapter 157
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 157
Chapter Title: Honeyed Words, Hidden Sword (1)
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Things had gotten seriously out of hand.
Where the hell had it all gone wrong?
Was this rotten Ming Dynasty finally losing its mind?
Even sending some distant royal branch family member would have been enough to drive anyone insane... but the Crown Prince? What the hell?
They were telling us to bring the young King Munjong all the way to Beijing.
Well, when you thought about it, this wasn't entirely impossible by current standards...
Back when Yi Seong-gye was king, Yi Bang-won—practically the number two man among the princes—had gone to and from Ming.
And when Yi Bang-won was king, Yangnyeong Grand Prince, who was Crown Prince at the time, had also gone to Ming.
So it wasn't as if summoning King Munjong to Ming was some unprecedented outrage.
The real issue was that the responsibility falling on our envoy delegation had ballooned enormously.
As I stood there dumbfounded by this shocking revelation, someone approached me and immediately started berating me out of the blue.
"Serjanggwan!"
"Yes, Deputy Commander of the Capital Garrison."
"What in the world are you doing right now? We're about to escort the Crown Prince to perform the court audience with the emperor. There can't be a single gap in our preparations... and yet a Serjanggwan like you is zoning out during work hours? Good grief. Back in my day, this was unthinkable. This must all be because my younger brother is too soft, failing to maintain proper discipline among the officials. Oh dear, what will become of Joseon in the future..."
The Deputy Commander of the Capital Garrison was an honorary position created to honor someone of minister rank without a specific post.
And the man hastily appointed to it—the one now fully demonstrating boomer energy in front of me—was Heo Joo, the ultimate boomer king whom even his brother, Prime Minister Heo Jo, feared.
Heo Joo was the eldest son, but stricken with apoplexy, his younger brother Heo Jo had taken over the ancestral rites. In an unavoidable situation, the rituals had been slightly bent.
Upon learning this, Heo Joo had berated his brother as a disgrace to the family without mercy...
According to the records, even Prime Minister Heo Jo had to kneel outside the door for three days, begging forgiveness.
A man of such rigid principles was naturally an expert in etiquette, which was why King Sejong had specially brought him along as the etiquette overseer for this congratulatory envoy.
"Even I, crippled by apoplexy, drag my ailing body out here to work, and a young pup not even mid-twenties is losing focus during hours?"
"My apologies, sir."
"So, were you at least listening to what I said?"
"You mentioned that among the ceremonial robes bestowed by Ming for Yangnyeong Grand Prince's court audience, the hat could pose a problem, yes?"
Even in the 21st century, at formal events, not a single etiquette detail could be amiss.
If a high-ranking officer visited a military unit and a soldier responded to a question not with "Military life is great," but "I have this grievance," the dressing-down from the general would start immediately.
Even seating arrangements at a mess hall: fail to place VIPs in the proper order, and the unit commander gets thunderbolted.
How much more so in East Asian Confucian culture, where etiquette was deemed more vital than human life? The importance of protocol defied words.
One slip here, and while it might not shatter Joseon-Ming relations outright, several heads could literally roll.
"Exactly. Back when the Grand Prince was Crown Prince, the prime minister then in charge of the congratulatory envoy and the Grand Prince himself wore identical hats."
There's a saying not to judge by appearances, but honestly, that's just unrealistic idealism.
Everyone in human society instinctively judges others by looks.
All the more on a diplomatic stage where etiquette reigned supreme, with strict rules dictating attire by rank.
In Confucian culture, two men of different status in the envoy wearing the same 'hat' was a grave offense.
"Ming knows full well this violates protocol."
Heo Joo, who had been fuming moments ago, shifted tone and nodded approvingly.
"So they'll hand us these robes, and if we don't wear them, they'll blow it up into a huge issue to nitpick. Then the young Crown Prince will face stern reprimand from the emperor."
"The surface reason for including the Crown Prince this time is that a vassal state's heir should pay respects once. But really, they want to probe Joseon's intentions behind subjugating the Jurchens beyond the Yalu, judge if we're betraying Ming, and break us to their will."
"They know the etiquette breach but haven't uttered a word about the Crown Prince's hat until now... so they'll surely nitpick it right there at the audience."
One trick high-and-mighties—especially the temperamental ones—love is harping endlessly on a 'trivially minor issue' to vent stress.
Say a subordinate messes up a report's font size—10pt required, sets it to 11pt.
"11pt? Your brain must be rotten or you're insane—one or the other."
Then they rage: "How can I get any work done with idiots like you?" Followed by the latte-is-a-beverage-is-it-not tirade.
Once the subordinate looks miserable, they pivot: "Your supervisor failed to train you."
Then they summon the supervisor and chew them out in front of the subordinate.
The Ming Emperor was cut from the same cloth.
Or more bluntly, they craved the sight of Joseon trembling, unable to defy.
So we mustn't give Ming any openings from the start.
"So, though it violates Joseon etiquette, to deny them ammunition, we should wear their bestowed robes. That's your point?"
"Yes. And to Ming's Ministry of Rites, we should express deep regret that this might displease the emperor."
"Wise thinking."
The servile Joseon perpetually kowtowing to Ming only emerged after the Mid-Joseon coup.
Before that, Joseon was tamed through cycles of tribute demands and lavish gifts.
After all that, how could we like Ming?
Everyone cursed them inwardly with every vulgarity imaginable.
We endured only because of their vast population and military might.
Just like how we fantasize beating a boomer boss black-and-blue a thousand times over, yet smile deferentially in person.
"For etiquette, best to follow exactly what Yangnyeong Grand Prince did at his audience."
"You've greatly eased my worries. So etiquette's settled. But the real crux: what justification do we use to legitimize the Jurchen campaign? That's the heart of it."
One truly infuriating Ming trait: they saw everyone in the world as their subordinates.
More precisely, they lived in that delusion.
Vietnam, beyond their reach? "Vassal dares independence?" Off went the armies.
In Qing times, they grabbed East India Company and British Foreign Office bigwigs, demanding the full kowtow as Qing subjects.
Thus, they viewed Jurchens as subordinates too.
Powerful Jurchen chiefs got nominal titles, insisted as their vassals.
The one bestowed on Yi Man-ju, whom we subdued: Jianzhou Guard Vice Commander.
Vice Commander sounded grand, but Ming wouldn't even acknowledge their bailiffs as such—a worthless nominal post, yet rank 3rd junior.
This meant Ming could scream we slaughtered their exalted noble without cause.
"Just say Yi Man-ju brazenly crossed our border to plunder, so we punished him. That ends it. No need to overcomplicate."
Even if Yi Man-ju got lofty Ming treatment nominally, he was just a hostile tribe—humanoid monsters in online game terms.
Why grovel with long excuses for smacking down bandits?
The longer the justification, the more ammo for nitpicks.
"But if they challenge our northern expansion, it gets tricky. How about one little white lie?"
"Deceive the Ming court? No easy feat."
"Not an obvious lie they can see through."
A lie works best at pivotal moments, fooling the mark completely.
"We heard testimony that Yi Man-ju allied with Northern Yuan, unified part of Jianzhou Guards, and planned raids on Ming's northern border, Joseon's Pyeongan, and Hamgyong Provinces."
Ming has no way to verify if this rumor is true or false.
But Northern Yuan? They'd absolutely do it, and Ming knows that.
Even if they interrogate captured Yalu Jurchens, with Jurchen vs. Joseon words clashing, whom would they trust?
Never the Jurchens close to Northern Yuan.
"That should blind them plenty. For the rest, we can discuss when Right Counsellor Choi Yun-deok, selected as Deputy Envoy overall lead, returns."