Because it's mine.
Because it's mine.
Returning home, the quiet environment felt a bit strange compared to the outside.
It had been so anxious and noisy out there. It was fascinating how all that just cut off the moment I came home.
"You're here."
"...Yeah."
A short conversation, it felt just like usual, so I didn't pay much attention to it.
After that, Seo Arin started taking out the things we bought and organizing them, and I sat crouched beside her, watching quietly.
"...Should I help?"
"It's okay."
I wanted to help, but since Seo Arin refused, saying it was okay, I didn't really step in.
After that, I just stayed still, watching Seo Arin organize the items, and then.
My hands moved naturally.
"...Ah."
I took a small bag of candy out of the bag we bought at the Department Store.
The one I picked earlier, the shiny Jewel Candy.
I placed it on my palm and held it up to the light. As I moved it around, it sparkled faintly even under the lights. I felt good for no reason, so I put it on one hand and rolled it around with the other, playing with it.
Then.
"Don't eat it."
"Huh?"
When I looked up, Seo Arin was looking this way.
"It's before dinner."
"...Okay."
"Good."
She looked at me as if she were slightly proud, then I followed Seo Arin with my eyes as she went back to organizing the luggage, and looked at the candy in my hand.
"Really can't?"
"No."
"...Hing."
I asked one more time, but was firmly cut off.
"Eat it after you eat dinner."
"...Okay."
I pouted my lips slightly, but eventually nodded.
I looked down at the candy I was holding again. I want to eat it...
But.
"I'll hold back..."
I muttered it quietly for no reason, and Seo Arin smiled faintly and continued organizing without saying anything else.
By the time she was almost done organizing, a vibration rang from Seo Arin's phone and music started playing.
"I'm going to go take a call for a moment."
"...Huh?"
I looked up at the sudden words.
Seo Arin was already about to leave with her phone. So I looked at Seo Arin, and she opened her mouth while looking at me.
"I'll be right back."
"...You'll really be right back?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"I said I'll be right back."
I nodded without a word; she was someone who at least didn't lie to me.
I tried to trust her and wait, but my gaze still wouldn't leave the door.
Once the door closed, only silence filled the room.
It felt even quieter than before.
The only thing that changed was that Seo Arin had left.
It was the same space, but it felt like an entirely different place.
"..."
I sat still. And I looked at the candy I was holding again.
The Jewel Candy she told me not to eat before dinner.
I dropped it on the floor, rolled it around, then picked it up again, repeating the process.
"Should I just..., eat it?"
I hesitated for a moment, but shook my head.
"I'll hold back anyway..."
No one was listening, but I said it for no reason.
For one, Seo Arin told me not to eat it, and I didn't want to do anything she might dislike.
So I stayed still, holding the candy. I didn't do anything, just waited.
I waited longer than I thought.
She said she'd be back soon, so I don't know how many times I looked at the door.
It was quiet, too quiet. It bothered me for no reason.
By the time the candy in my hand started to get warm.
"...She's not coming."
As I muttered that quietly and looked at the door again.
The door opened with a click. There was no need to check.
"I'm back from the call."
"...Yeah."
It was Seo Arin, back from taking the call.
As soon as I confirmed that, my body reacted first, but.
I moved forward a little, then stopped.
"Why are you acting like that?"
"...It's nothing."
I was slightly annoyed by her expression, which seemed like nothing was wrong, but I shook my head.
But my mouth couldn't hold back and let the words out.
"...You're late."
I muttered it softly, as if dropping the words.
Seo Arin paused for a moment, as if she had heard me.
"The call went on longer than I thought."
"...Okay."
I answered, but I put a little force into the hand holding the candy.
The candy bag crinkled slightly, and the sound of the plastic crinkling spread through the room.
Whether she saw it or heard it, Seo Arin said.
"You kept your promise not to eat it, didn't you? Let's eat."
"Yeah."
This time, I nodded immediately.
Seo Arin prepared dinner and brought it to the table, but my hands went to the bread and milk.
Seo Arin always nags at me for only eating bread and milk, but what can I do?
I can't eat hot food like rice or soup.
So, even after listening to Seo Arin say that I should keep eating rice because it's good for my body, my hands kept going to what I was used to.
"I like this better."
"Sigh..., fine, eat that at least."
Perhaps she didn't care much that I at least ate the bread well, she didn't really say anything about it after that.
Instead, she just watched quietly. Watching me tear the bread with both hands and drink milk occasionally.
"At least you eat that well."
"...Yeah."
I answered quietly, but she seemed to understand, and only then did Seo Arin pick up her spoon and start eating.
Even after finishing, I didn't get up from my seat for a while.
I was full and felt good, so I just sat there a little longer.
"Not sleeping?"
"...I'm going to sleep now."
"Then go into your room and sleep."
"Okay."
She pointed to the room given to me, and seeing me nod, Seo Arin went into her room first.
When I went to my room and tried to turn off the lights and sleep, the silence washing over me didn't feel very pleasant.
Remembering that I had slept with Seo Arin just this morning, it felt even more so.
So I quietly came out of the room and headed to her room.
"..."
When I entered the room, I saw Seo Arin lying there without a word, perhaps asleep.
So I quietly climbed onto her bed and snuck under the covers.
I lay on my side and lifted Seo Arin's arm, who was sleeping, and placed it on my shoulder, which made me feel much more comfortable.
"..."
It seemed like she was asleep since it was still quiet.
But just in case, I burrowed even more quietly into her arms and pressed my body against her, just like this morning.
They say the first time is the hardest, so perhaps that's why I put my arm on Seo Arin's waist and started rubbing my scent all over her.
"... Sniff."
Like I did before my nap, I checked the scent one more time, and I could feel my scent slightly.
Faintly, just a little bit. But my scent was definitely mixed in.
"...Done."
I muttered it quietly. Now it was okay.
The covers, Seo Arin's embrace, the scent.
I thought it was all mine. I felt a bit more relieved at that thought.
So I burrowed in a little deeper.
I put a little more strength into the arm draped over her waist, and pressed my face even closer.
As if holding her so she couldn't run away.
"Because it's mine..."
No one was listening, but I muttered it for no reason.
Once those words left my mouth, my heart felt strangely more at ease.
Should I say it felt like all the anxiety that had remained until just a moment ago was being resolved? I could feel those emotions slowly subsiding.
My eyelids were getting heavy, so I closed my eyes with a refreshed heart.
This time, I felt like I could fall asleep without any thoughts.
"..."
How long had it been since I fell asleep?
There was something in the way of my body, so I looked down for a moment.
"...Ah."
There was the cat I had picked up a few days ago.
To be precise, it didn't seem like a cat, but looking at its behavior, it was no different from a cat.
A small, sleepy voice flowed out, but I didn't pay much attention to it.
"Sigh..."
The cat in my arms was nothing but a troublemaker.
I had picked it up, and I thought if it just stayed still, I'd let it sleep, and if it wasn't evaluated as dangerous, I'd release it if it wanted.
But at some point, it had melted into my daily life and was naturally living with me.
"...Really."
It seems like this is the first time I've poured this much devotion into someone, but this cat was really a handful.
I could feel it squirming in my arms, but I brushed it off, thinking this much was fine.
I had already gotten used to the body heat and weight felt in my arms while sleeping, so it was fine.
"...Sniff."
There was some kind of savory scent coming from its body, it seemed like this cat had marked it with its scent again.
It hates bathing so much, I thought I should sleep and wash it one day.
I was lost in random thoughts like that, then slowly raised my hand and placed it on the head of the creature in my arms.
The fluffy cat ears and silky hair felt quite good when stroked, so I had been stroking it occasionally when I had time lately.
"...Really."
I kept stroking it while grumbling, to the point where I was smiling without realizing it.
"Still."
With a sleepy voice, I muttered quietly.
"...Today was quite fun."
It was something I said to myself, but the small body heat burrowed into my arms clung even deeper.
As if it had heard those words.
"..."
I was surprised by that for a moment and stopped my hand, then moved it again.
This time, I moved it a bit more naturally.
"...Sleep well."