Who the Hell Are You?

What the hell is this now?

"Haaah…."

So this is how it ends up.

I, Kang Suho, had finally lost the ability to walk on my own and been reduced to a wheelchair….

Well, maybe I should be grateful it stopped at this. I'd nearly died for real, after all.

If the boss room ceiling hadn't been so high, I would've brained myself the second I used Thunder Dragon's Heavenly Demise. And if that last coin hadn't slipped free of my clothes, the boss's midair counterattack would've finished me off.

…Looking at it that way, I really had been lucky.

Beginner's luck, huh. Is that what this was?

"Hunter-nim! Don't worry! I'll bring a high-ranking healer tomorrow—no, today if I can—and get you treated right away."

While I was staring blankly into space, replaying everything that had happened inside the Gate, Sora—who had followed me all the way to the hospital—took both of my hands in hers and looked straight into my eyes.

"Ah… yes…."

This is so awkward….

"Would you mind giving me your contact number? The moment I secure someone, I'll call you right away."

"…My number?"

That was… a problem.

If they used it to dig into my background and found out I'd once been a man, what then?

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

…Granted, the moment I handed over an address I'd already crossed a line. I could always claim I'd ended up staying at my older brother's place by coincidence because we shared the same name; the Association would be suspicious, but they'd probably let it slide.

A phone number was different, though. Dig through that and they'd know I was male in a heartbeat….

"…Is there some kind of problem?"

"No… not really a problem, exactly…."

Crap, what excuse do I use?

Umm….

Ah.

"I cultivate an air of mystery. I don't give my phone number out to just anyone."

"…Pardon?"

…Was that not it?

I'd thought it was the perfect excuse. Why was she reacting like that?

"…Is something wrong?"

Sora's eyes went wide. She hurriedly shook her head left and right.

"No! No! Of course you can do that."

She rested her chin in her hand.

"…I guess you really do need at least one screw loose somewhere to become an S-rank Hunter…."

she muttered under her breath.

"……"

Hey. I can hear you, you know….

Sigh….

Whatever. I didn't have the energy left to argue. I just wanted to go home and rest.

"I'll be going now. Until next time…. Ren, let's go."

"Meow."

"Ah, yes! I'll visit as soon as I possibly can!"

"…You really came fast."

The doorbell rang at three in the morning. When I opened the door, there she was, smiling her usual bright smile.

"How could I sleep when I was so worried about you, Hunter-nim? The second I got back to the Association I called all over the country and finally managed to bring her! This is the one."

"…Hello."

A black-haired woman with an utterly exhausted face greeted me.

"…Hello."

"No need for long explanations… shall we just get started?"

Shaaa—

Green light bloomed in her hands. She pressed them against my legs. A strange, tingling sensation spread through me.

"I heard your leg bones were completely pulverized? Then this'll take about five minutes."

"Only five minutes?"

"It's taking a whole five minutes. Other people are faster."

"Ah… right…."

"……"

An awkward silence settled over the room.

This is uncomfortable….

"By the way, Hunter-nim."

Thankfully Sora seemed to sense the atmosphere as well. She jumped in quickly.

"Yes?"

"That Gate boss… what did it look like?"

"Mm… just a giant orc. A really big one."

"How big…?"

"From what I remember… at least twenty times bigger than me."

"Whoa… that's enormous…. How did you take it down?"

"I just… stabbed a sword into its head…."

"…Pardon?"

"…?"

"You said it was over twenty times bigger."

"Yes."

"Then how did you get a sword into its head…?"

"I just jumped and stabbed it in?"

"…?"

Sora's eyes narrowed. The expression of someone who could not process what she was hearing.

"Ah, I used a skill to jump."

"Ah, of course! Haha, you had me for a second. I thought you meant ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pure jumping power could reach that height…."

"There's no way Strength D could manage that."

"That's true. Haha…."

"……"

The awkward silence returned.

…My turn this time, I guess.

"Um… Healer-nim?"

"Just call me Yujin."

"Okay… then Yujin-ssi?"

"Yes."

"Where did you come from?"

"Busan."

"…Pardon?"

We're in Seoul, though?

"I got in the car the moment I finished work and still only made it by this hour. Sorry for arriving so late."

"Ah. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠No, not at all. I'm grateful you came. By the way… aren't you exhausted?"

"Of course I am. But what can you do? The Association says a 'precious' S-rank Hunter got hurt, so hop to it. When they say jump, you jump."

"…I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to apologize for. The problem is the fucking Hunter Association."

"……"

Ma'am, there's a Hunter Association employee standing right next to you….

I flicked my eyes sideways at Sora. She was still wearing her polite smile, but one foot was tapping sharply against the floor.

"No need to worry. Healing Hunters are rare enough that the Association can't do a thing even if I run my mouth."

She must have noticed me reading the room. Without looking up from my legs she spoke flatly.

"There. All done. I'll be going now…."

She turned without another glance and headed down the stairs.

"…You have it rough."

"…Thank you for noticing."

"Yaaawn~."

"…You're finally up, nya."

I sat up, yawning, and found Ren staring at me with a distinctly dissatisfied expression.

"…What's with that face?"

"Why do you think, nya."

"…Hungry?"

"As if, nya!"

Ren puffed her cheeks out like balloons and shoved her face right up to mine.

"Who rings a doorbell at three in the morning, nya! I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep properly after that, nya!"

"…Why are you blaming me for that…."

I felt wronged. I hadn't told them to come at that hour. What was I supposed to do about them showing up whenever they felt like it?

"It's your fault for getting hurt in the first place, nya! If you hadn't gotten hurt none of this would have happened, nya!"

"…I didn't get hurt because I wanted to."

"Like I care, nya! You're weak, so it's your fault anyway, nya! Hurry up and bring me something delicious, nya! For the record I am currently in the mood for extremely delicious flounder sushi, nya!"

"……"

So she just needed an excuse to eat flounder sushi.

"Fine. I'll order it. Happy?"

I opened my phone, pulled up a delivery app, picked a place with decent ratings, placed the order, and flopped back down.

Sigh… reduced to getting shaken down for money by a cat.

Still… without Ren yesterday I wouldn't have even been able to fight the boss in the first place.

Might as well call this a reward.

Hm? Reward?

Right. After clearing that Gate I definitely….

"Status window."

Weakness Detection.

The skill I'd received after clearing the Gate.

There's no way this could be bad, right?

Just from the name alone it had to be good. Maybe because it was a reward skill instead of one derived from my trait.

Well, good is good. Let's try it once.

Weakness Detection.

I sat up again and looked at Ren.

Oh.

Little red dots had appeared all over Ren's body. So those were the weakness markers.

Exactly as expected.

"…Why are ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you looking at me with those eyes, nya."

"…What eyes?"

"It's a creepy look, nya."

"That's just my normal face."

Sharp little cat.

More importantly, how do I turn this off?

I chanted "cancel" in my head as hard as I could, but nothing happened.

Don't tell me… I have to live like this forever?

Yeah, that was a pointless worry.

After about five minutes it turned off on its own.

Thank god. If I'd had to walk around like that for the rest of my life I might've developed trypophobia.

Come to think of it….

Does this one have a cooldown like Thunder Dragon's Heavenly Demise?

Weakness Detection.

Yep, there it is.

At least it gives me a concrete number. That other goddamn skill just said the thunder dragon had fallen into a deep sleep and left it at that.

Fucking thunder dragon.

What did you just say?

"…Ren, did you say something?"

"I didn't say anything, nya."

"Really? I definitely heard a girl's voice."

"…Master, you should seriously go get your head checked, nya."

"I'm not going."

Haah, what the hell was that?

Maybe I really should visit a psych ward.

You did not mishear.

"…Master, your body is suddenly glowing, nya."

"…What?"

At Ren's words I looked down at myself.

It was true. Light was pouring from my entire body.

The light gathered toward my abdomen and then—

Paaah—!

—shot into the air and took on a human shape.

It slowly opened its eyes and looked down at me.

As if gazing upon some lower lifeform.

"…Who are you?"

"You look upon this body and still fail to recognize me? How utterly foolish a human you are."

"……"

Okay. Analysis complete.

I stood up at once, stretched out a hand, and seized it around the waist.

And then, just like that—

Bang!

—I threw it out of the house.