Turn on the Power
You have encountered your loyal retainer, courier, and larva-exclusive nanny!
1% tax will be levied on your retainer's total income.
Loyalty Management
The higher your retainer's loyalty, the higher the tax collection rate.
A system alert chimed, and new text materialized in my field of vision.
"Retainer...?"
That gigantic head is my retainer? Then I got no reason to be scared of the damn thing, right?
Normally, a retainer was just some lackey who obeyed the king's every word, wasn't it? Thanks to the alert, I'd figured out my first route to steady income.
"This... if I play it right, I could set up a 'wealth pipeline' that spits out cash even while I sleep."
The more lord-retainer relationships I forged, the more "taxes" I could collect from them. I didn't know yet exactly how retainers generated revenue inside the gate. But the punchline was, the more capable the retainer, the bigger the dividends coming my way.
Which meant the top priority was managing their loyalty levels.
But how the hell do I check loyalty stats?
Judging from everything so far, a status window had to exist. Sure, gate management was PC-based, but a fantasy staple like a status screen should pop up in real-time, right?
On a hunch, I murmured into the empty air.
"Status window."
"Hm... character selection was a bust, anyway."
Seeing my status pop up made me suspect I could peek at others' info too. I plopped down by the tub, right in front of the massive head, and mentally called up its status.
"...It actually works?"
Looking at the status, I had zero reason to fear that massive head. "Faithful servant" trait, plus an affection score of a whopping 2000.
But what's 'affection'?
Stats-wise, it outclassed the musclebound avatar I'd nearly picked at first. If I sweet-talked and exploited it right, it'd be a huge boon in this installment-plan hellhole of a life.
And yeah, its looks reminded me of Zhang Fei, but the actual name being Jangbi? Spot on.
"Ughol, gya-gol-gol-gol!" (For the dignity of my lord, shall I activate the automatic bath function?)
Its speech was mangled from lying on the bathroom ceiling, mouth full of hot water, but the meaning slammed into my brain crystal clear.
"Automatic bath function...?"
A bad premonition hit, but with my first income rolling in, I was riding high.
Lord-retainer bonus: a full million won!
In a mad world where one question cost ten million, this was still my first gate revenue.
"Yeah! Do it!"
Sure, it looked brutal and grotesque, but Jangbi was my retainer. It wouldn't eat me over some casual speech, right?
The moment I gave permission, Jangbi's eyes went wide.
"Eek! What the—?!"
The massive head spasmed upward. It gaped its freakish maw and lunged at me in a flash.
"Gah! My bad! No more casual talk!"
My scream cut off mid-breath as it swallowed me whole.
Rumble—!
Its mouth was filled with warm—no, scalding water, churning like a washing machine vortex around my body.
Jangbi rolled me mercilessly with its tongue and cheek muscles, like gargling with industrial mouthwash.
Glug-glug— rumble—
I bounced like a ping-pong ball between its palate and tongue. Death loomed every time I squeezed through those giant teeth, but they never touched me.
Was this a bath or pre-digestion rinse?
Exactly ten seconds later, Jangbi spat me out.
"Ptooey—!"
"Cough! Hack, ughhh..."
I hit the floor in a water tsunami, dazed. When I finally blinked awake and pushed up from the tiles, Jangbi was back to lounging peacefully on the ceiling like nothing happened.
Automatic bath function has ended.
"..."
Never using that again.
Nothing here was remotely normal. I was starting to hate myself for taking this grotesque shit in stride.
But the function wasn't total bullshit—the green slime caked all over me was gone without a trace. Hell, my whole body gleamed softly now.
"Whoa... what kind of skin is this smooth?"
I cautiously lifted my head to the sink mirror. First real look at my avatar body.
"...Gasp!"
The reflection stared back: a drenched beauty I'd never seen before.
The scene was straight-up unreal. Long hair cascading past my shoulders shone like wet ebony. The pale, almost translucent skin of a sunlight-deprived shut-in glowed like pale jewels under the bathroom light.
Toweling off revealed a perfectly balanced figure. But the weird part? This was someone else's body—hell, wrong gender—yet no disconnect. No thrill of a guy eyeing a naked woman, either.
Maybe because it was another dimension's "me," per the system. The initial shock faded fast, replaced by a brutally natural sense that this flawless shell had always been mine.
"But still..."
I swept back wet locks, locking eyes with mirror-Danbi Kim.
"Why the fuck would a girl this hot live like a shut-in?"
With looks like these, she'd rack up tens of thousands of followers just walking the street. Instant idol stardom, or a wealth pipeline via YouTube and SNS off her face alone.
I couldn't fathom what Earth-4234 me had been doing to waste this treasure rotting in a room.
Of course, prettier shell or not, I had a mountain of more urgent problems.
I dug out a hoodie and joggers from the drawer—ones I'd botched the size on from Temu and nearly tossed. They'd felt small before, but now they fit like a glove.
Geared up, I headed straight to the desk and hit the PC power button.
Click—
"Huh?"
No response. Not even the monitor twitched.
"Water's fine, so why no power?"
Panicking, I racked my brain—was it the gate environment?—when a retinal alert popped.
No power supplied to building. Raise the breaker in the circuit box (toad house).
Luckily a basic guide—no insane ten-million-won consult fee.
A golden CG arrow helpfully pointed to the circuit box by the entrance.
I eased the door open.
And froze solid.
A real toad was smoking a cigarette. A seductively lashed one, at that.
"Oh my, Master? Gonna turn on the power?"
"..."
The toad flailed short hind legs, straining for the metal levers flanking the breakers.
"Here goes—power on!"
It finally gripped them with both hands.
"Kyaaah! Zzzap-zap! Aahng, ahng!"
First time witnessing a toad moan through its sinuses.
"Aaang! I love you, Master! Ahng, ahng!"
I averted my eyes and quietly shut the door.
"...No more shocks from here on out."
My common sense had long crumbled to dust. Getting rattled every time was exhausting.
I trudged back and hit the PC power again.
Vrrr—
This time, the tower hummed to life. Post-loading, no Windows logo—instead, a grotesque eye-pupil boot animation.
Finally, the screen filled with a detailed 3D map.
No usual desktop icons, trash bin, nada. Just a vast continent as the wallpaper itself.
Edges writhed like live wallpaper: smoking volcano zone, foggy swamp, icy bergs pulsing with chill.
Dead center, a blinking red arrow.
Mesmerized, I dragged the mouse wheel to zoom out.
Lower scale brought the plains to vivid life. Fully zoomed out, my hunch confirmed.
A rundown officetel building, absurdly plonked in endless grassland. The arrow pinpointed my exact room.
Top-right, stock-ticker numbers ticked live:
"Ha... the more I stare, the more it chokes me."
Bottom screen: clunky UI menus.
About to click a menu, I spotted yellow dots wriggling near the officetel entrance on the map.
"...What's this?"
Instinct drew my cursor over a dot. A curt system popup appeared.
Target:Insignificant humans bundled with the building in the Outer God's gate.
"Huh?"
I shot up from my chair.
"People! Tenants!"