I Hope We Get Closer
“In first place — contestant Ha Yerin!!”
Bang—!!
It wasn’t even the final win. It was only first place at the first ranking announcement. And still, the moment my name was called, the little fireworks rigged behind the stage went off all at once.
Maybe that was why.
Even though I’d gotten the first place I’d wanted…
“…….”
…I was so dazed I couldn’t say a word.
“Contestant Ha Yerin, who has taken first place, please come up to the first-place seat right away.”
“……Yes.”
At Han Siwoo’s words, I climbed the stairs slowly.
Thud. Thud.
With every step I took, I could feel the other contestants’ eyes on me.
Envy. Jealousy. Longing.
But the feeling that came through strongest of all was…
Awe.
Thud.
In crude terms, a song-and-dance act. First place among trainees who hadn’t even debuted yet. And still, the moment I sat in that first-place seat, the other contestants stared up at me with their mouths open.
“…….”
I looked down at them once…
And sank.
…straight into my first-place seat.
“Haa….”
The second I sat down, a heavy, drained sigh spilled out of me on its own.
“…….”
In that moment I felt like something had taken hold of me.
Like I was dreaming… or floating, weightless, in midair.
“…Yerin.”
What pulled me out of that haze was Han Siwoo moving the segment along.
He looked just as spellbound as I felt, staring at me as he spoke into the microphone clutched in a trembling hand.
“…How does it feel to take first place in votes at the first ranking announcement?”
Thump.
The moment I heard him, the microphone resting on the arm of the first-place seat caught my eye.
I picked it up the instant he finished speaking.
But…
“…….”
Nothing came to mind for what I was actually supposed to say.
Without my fans, I’m nothing?
This seat feels like more than I deserve?
If I wanted even a little more goodwill, the humble lines were the ones to go with.
And yet…
“…….”
“…….”
The second I opened my mouth to speak, I caught the other contestants looking at me again and faltered.
And in that instant…
I understood what I was drunk on.
Past life and present life.
Someone who’d lived at the bottom of both — being looked at with eyes like those…
Didn’t it feel like becoming a star that lit up the world from a dark sky?
…….
It was electrifying.
At first I’d thought the idol life wouldn’t suit me.
I’d thought it was something I’d only started because of the debt.
I’d even planned to quit the second anything went wrong.
But…
…There’s no way I can quit.
I knew, with absolute certainty, that I would never be able to walk away from being an idol.
Because this moment… this fleeting feeling…
was something I would never forget for the rest of my life.
“…I made it here thanks to all of you, my fans. I’d never come in first at anything in my life… and taking first in votes like this, all because of you, feels really, really good. So….”
I was too happy in that moment.
So I said something I never would have said otherwise.
“I’ll keep taking first place from here on out.”
“……!”
A stir ran through the set.
Everyone here knew that, looks aside, I wasn’t the arrogant type.
Quiet, expressionless me saying something that bold out loud had genuinely startled them.
And then their eyes…
Slid—.
…went straight to Yu Seol, who still hadn’t come up on stage.
Until the first team performance, she had been the de facto number-one talent in My Idol Academia — and at the ranking announcement she’d had her pride ground down into second place.
What would she do, hearing me say I’d keep taking first from now on?
Everyone looked curious.
I was no different.
…Oh god. What did I just say…
I bit down on the lips that had run away with my feelings and looked down at Yu Seol.
I wanted to know what she was thinking right now, too.
“And now, contestant Yu Seol of JJ Entertainment, who took second in votes — please come up and share your thoughts!”
Thud. Thud.
At Han Siwoo’s cue, Yu Seol climbed to the second-place seat with a small, unreadable smile.
She glanced at me once…
“…….”
…then turned back to the cameras at the front of the stage and lifted the microphone.
And on her face…
Softly—.
“I’m just so, so grateful to all of you, my fans—!”
…a smile bloomed brighter than it ever had before.
……Wow.
No matter how good an actress you were, a little disappointment should have leaked through in a situation like this. There was nothing of the kind on Yu Seol’s face.
I wasn’t the only one who stared at her in admiration. Everyone on set did.
But then…
“Of course, ending up in a seat as generous as second place with skills this lacking is all thanks to my fans as well. And….”
She turned—.
“……!”
“I also want to congratulate Yerin on taking first. Watching Yerin’s stages, and everyone else’s, I feel like I learned so much.”
When Yu Seol said that and bowed her head toward me, I couldn’t help feeling a jolt of wrongness.
She bowed—.
The second Yu Seol lowered her head to me, I dipped mine right back, not to be outdone.
From the outside it looked like a warm, wholesome moment. Underneath, a meticulous probe was underway — me trying to read what she was really thinking.
Why was Yu Seol suddenly bowing her head like that?
To look humble next to the slightly cocky thing I just said, and cut me down?
It was possible she was thinking that. But for Yu Seol, it was too clumsy.
It had already been proven that I had the largest fanbase in My Idol Academia, and outside of her most hardcore fans, I barely had any antis to speak of.
I wasn’t someone whose image would take a hit over something that small.
So is she just flailing, trying anything?
That was possible too.
Even Yu Seol — walking into a show expecting first place and landing second — could have her composure crack.
I started to wonder if her mental state had broken and she’d done something she didn’t need to do…
“…….”
…and then I lifted my head, met her eyes, and dropped the thought entirely.
…Her eyes are too still.
Yu Seol’s composure was not broken. The eyes looking at me were still to a degree that was almost chilling.
Then… ah…
That was when I remembered something I’d forgotten…
Yu Seol’s status window.
I opened it.
I didn’t usually open other people’s status windows — or even my own.
A status window… almost never changed from the last time you’d checked it, not without something major happening.
But Yu Seol… she’d had something strange sitting in hers back then, hadn’t she?
And when I checked, sure enough — her locked trait had been released.
Protagonist, Blackening
You are the protagonist of this story. Of course, your life is not a smooth one. But no matter what hardship comes, keep advancing toward your dream. If you do not stop… the final victor will surely be you.
Effect — The Protagonist Does Not Fall: Activates only in the face of adversity and hardship (Currently Active). Endurance, patience, mental fortitude, and stamina stats rise dramatically! All other stats rise slightly!
The world is cruel. You tried somehow to hold on to hope and keep the story going, but the world would not leave you alone. Under a relentless string of hardships that seemed to deny your success itself, your heart grows steadily blacker. Light and darkness coexist. For the sake of your own life, you choose to accept the dark.
Effect — I Will Live for Myself: All humanity stats drop dramatically! All Intelligence detail stats rise dramatically! All other stats rise slightly!
“…….”
…Something enormous had just kicked the door open and come charging out at us.
Especially that trait effect — all humanity stats drop dramatically…? That seems a little dangerous, doesn’t it…?
A soft smile.
“……!”
The second I finished reading the traits, Yu Seol smiled at me — and I flinched in spite of myself.
Because now I roughly understood what that smile meant.
Right now, while smiling, she was sharpening a blade sharper than anyone else’s.
And the tip of that blade… was pointed straight at me.
No one else. Yu Seol was coming for me.
A chill ran over my skin.
Just thinking about it was enough to raise goosebumps.
Thanks to that, the high and the rush of taking first at the ranking announcement drained away clean.
This week, stay as far from Yu Seol as possible…
I thought that, and dropped my eyes away from her side of the stage.
“…The next eliminated contestant is trainee Yoon Sea of Taihai Entertainment. Final vote count: 6,273. Final ranking: 89th.”
“Ah…!”
Once first and second had been announced, the eliminations followed.
Most of the contestants on the candidate list drank the bitter cup of elimination…
“Hhk….”
…and among those who couldn’t hold the grief in, some broke down crying.
It was a genuinely pitiful sight. But…
My attention was so thoroughly locked on Yu Seol that my eyes barely went there at all.
And honestly, most of them would have been better off looking into a different career anyway… so there wasn’t much of a reaction left in me.
Even so, when the eliminated contestants finally packed their things and left the building, I couldn’t help flinching.
The backs of people who’d yearned for a dream they couldn’t reach looked far too bitter.
“And with that, a total of thirty-eight contestants have been eliminated from the first team performance.”
The storm of elimination announcements finally passed…
“But the contestants who remain will still have to complete the second team performance this week if they want to survive.”
Han Siwoo lifted the microphone again through the heavy atmosphere.
At the words second team performance, I straightened in my seat and focused on what he was about to say.
“My Idol Academia, Week Three. The theme of this second team performance is… I Hope We Get Closer!”
“…I Hope We Get Closer?”
…Something about the second team performance concept felt off, and the contestants started murmuring.
Han Siwoo grinned at them and went on.
“Over the course of My Idol Academia so far, I’m sure many of you have gotten close to a lot of contestants… but the truth is, there are even more contestants you haven’t gotten close to at all. Right?”
He was right.
In my case, the only contestants I could honestly call close were Lee Hyejeong and Park Yujeong.
With everyone else it was barely a greeting, and there were plenty of contestants I hadn’t even properly introduced myself to.
“This performance was prepared to help you all build those friendships. This week, you’ll be teamed up with contestants you’ve been distant from until now.”
…So in the end they were just making us team up with people we were awkward around? …I don’t like that.
More than that — putting distant people on the same team… how was team selection even going to work this time?
That question got answered in Han Siwoo’s next line.
“So of course you’re wondering how the teams will be chosen, right?”
“Yes—!!”
“Don’t worry—! Your teams have already been decided!”
“…What?!”
Teams already decided? What was that supposed to mean…
I scanned the set in case there was some gimmick like last week’s sandwich selection — but nothing stood out.
“Using the big data we’ve collected so far, the My Idol Academia production team has already assembled teams of members who would benefit from getting closer.”
“……!”
So this time they’d just put the teams together themselves.
That was enough to put me on edge.
Big data or not, I found it hard to believe the My Idol Academia producers had built the teams in any fair way.
They definitely stacked the teams for whatever combinations will pull the best ratings.
I prayed the producers hadn’t put together the absolute worst possible teams.
And then…
“Please look at the screen! The list on screen right now is the team you’ll be working with for the rest of this week!”
“……Oh my god.”
I looked at my team on the screen — and couldn’t keep the shock off my face.