A Single Loach's Muddy Water Mad Movie

I blinked a few times as I stared at the hit song from JJ Entertainment displayed on the frozen electronic board.

They had faded a little by now, but just two or three years ago Tailoz had been JJ’s flagship idol group, sweeping not only Korea but Japan as well. Where Is My First Love! was the title track of their third—or maybe fourth—album. It had performed extremely well… and I knew the song too.

“All right! Team Mackerel Sandwich’s song is Tailoz’s Where Is My First Love! from JJ Entertainment!”

“Waaaaaah—!!!!”

A cheer exploded from our Mackerel Sandwich team; they must have thought it was a solid pick. On the surface, Where Is My First Love! really was a safe, strong choice for a team battle. Even though a few years had passed, the track’s chart performance had been so massive that public recognition was still high. The difficulty wasn’t especially brutal either.

More importantly, Tailoz hadn’t been active lately, so there were few recent benchmarks. That meant we were less likely to be compared unfavorably and told our stage presence fell short of theirs.

Yeah… this was definitely me drawing a good song.

But I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling lingering in one corner of my mind. Tailoz’s group concept was crystal clear.

Bright, energetic… adorable pretty girls.

“Waaaaah—!! Unni, you’re the best—!!”

Exactly like Park Yujeong right now, laughing so brightly her voice could have carried to the ends of the earth.

That same concept shone through perfectly in Where Is My First Love!. Innocent girls who still didn’t know love, pure girls who wanted to know it. Girls who lay awake at night wondering who their first love would be. A bright melody and a quick beat that kept the whole song light and cheerful.

Every member of Team Mackerel Sandwich had kind, sunny faces. They would melt into the song’s atmosphere without any trouble.

The problem was me.

I turned my head and looked at my face in the mirror mounted on the wall. This life’s face—Ha Yerin’s face—was beautiful no matter how many times I saw it, but…

An innocent, pure pretty girl? Absolutely not.

…If anything, I look more like the school bully who shakes down the innocent kids for their lunch money.

If it had been a chic, sexy concept, I wouldn’t have had a single issue. But Where Is My First Love!… didn’t suit me. Maybe if I could at least smile properly…

Unfortunately, my acting skill was eighteen. Eighteen.

“Unni—! You’re the best! The absolute best!”

“Yerin! Great pick!”

Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Park Yujeong and Lee Hyejeong kept shooting me enthusiastic thumbs-ups. To them, Where Is My First Love! was top-tier among top-tier songs, so of course they were thrilled.

I let out a quiet sigh inside and raised a thumbs-up right back at them.

Maybe this time… I would end up being the team’s biggest obstacle.

With Team Veggie Sandwich choosing last, every team finished song selection. Most teams ended up with safe, solid tracks.

But…

“Team Veggie Sandwich’s song is Beomblack’s Thank You Very Much from QQQ Entertainment!”

…Only Yu Seol’s team, who had picked last, got hit with a bomb.

“Whoa… Beomblack…”

“That song’s choreography is insanely hard…”

Beomblack—the boy group with the troublemaker concept—and their track Thank You Very Much. High-difficulty choreography mixed with rap; it would not be easy to pull off.

Yet Yu Seol just smiled as if it were no big deal, radiating calm.

“It’s a difficult song, but… if we prepare hard, I think we can make an amazing stage.”

The expression on her face as she said it didn’t look like an act; it felt genuine. Looking at her, I somehow believed she really could pull the stage off.

“All right, that concludes song selection!”

Once every team had chosen, Han Siwoo picked up the mic again and continued hosting.

“With these teams and these songs, you will perform in front of a live audience one week from now.”

At his words, every contestant’s face tightened with tension.

One week. Long enough if you stretched it, but nowhere near enough to master something perfectly. Preparing and then standing in front of an audience within that window was no small pressure.

I felt it just as much as anyone else.

Thump.

Maybe it was because the team battle—the true flower of My Idol Academia—had finally arrived… my heart was pounding harder than it had during the grade evaluations or the final grade evaluation.

Whether he understood how we all felt or not, Han Siwoo nodded with a serious expression and spoke.

“You’re probably nervous. I was too. I still remember the day I first performed live in front of an audience. My heart was racing so hard.”

“…….”

“Want a tip?”

“……!”

At the mention of a tip, every ear perked up. Han Siwoo was a top-of-the-top idol; any advice from him would definitely help.

Instead of answering out loud, every contestant nodded in unison. Han Siwoo gave a small laugh and continued.

But then…

“No matter what method you try, you probably won’t be able to stop this trembling in your chest.”

“……?”

“Even after ten years, even after twenty years, you still won’t find a way to calm the nerves before a stage.”

…This was a tip?

For something called a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tip, Han Siwoo’s words felt completely empty of practical value.

But the next moment…

“I’m the same.”

“……!”

The laughter left his voice.

“I’ve done dozens of concerts and thousands of live stages… and I still tremble every time I prepare. What if I make a mistake… what if the audience is disappointed by my performance.”

“…….”

“There’s nothing you can do about it. This trembling… for people like us, it’s just part of life.”

Part of life… yeah. If I kept living as an idol, this trembling would become my everyday reality.

“You can’t overcome this trembling. Instead… accept it.”

“…….”

“The moment you accept this trembling as simply another part of living… you become a true professional.”

“…….”

We all stared at him with blank faces, so he found his smile again and moved the show forward.

“I talked too long. Anyway, I’ll be looking forward to and rooting for your best efforts.”

Thump—.

Han Siwoo’s tip didn’t stop my heart from racing. But… it definitely helped. I wasn’t the only one; the other contestants around me looked a little more at ease too.

“All right, let’s shout the slogan once and cut. Everyone together—one, two, three…!”

“Show me your dream—!!!!”

And just like that, the first team battle began.

After team and song selection finished, each group scattered to separate practice rooms for meetings. Our Mackerel Sandwich team was assigned a room as well; we sat in a circle inside it.

“We totally lucked out with this team! We’ve got strong singers, strong dancers, and everyone’s pretty on top of it! This is first-place energy for sure!”

Park Yujeong took the lead, steering the conversation with her signature bright smile and chatter, lifting the whole team’s mood.

But…

“We haven’t really introduced ourselves properly, right? Should we do names first? I’m from Levi Entertainment—”

“Everyone’s wearing name tags. Do we really need introductions? Is there anyone here who doesn’t already know each other’s names?”

“…….”

…Someone cut the flow clean off.

Seo Yujin from SAV.

Her words killed the atmosphere in an instant, and my eyes flicked reflexively toward the corner.

Whirr—.

We weren’t alone in the practice room. Cameramen and writers were there, filming and watching our meeting.

Seriously… she’s talking like that with cameras rolling?

Seo Yujin’s trait suddenly floated into my mind.

Because of the Looking Down on Everyone trait, Seo Yujin paid zero attention to the cameras and just said whatever she wanted. The atmosphere swung completely toward her reckless energy.

But…

“…Then forget introductions. For the sake of team vibe, how about we just speak casually from now on? Yujin, you’re the youngest here, so it’s fine if we drop the formalities, right?”

…Park Yujeong didn’t simply hand the initiative over to Seo Yujin.

…Yujeong has this side to her?

The same Park Yujeong who always radiated sunny, lovable energy used age to pin Seo Yujin down.

“…Yeah, whatever. Speak however you want.”

“Thanks. Hehe. Everyone else, feel free to talk casually with me and Yujin too.”

In a Confucian country, age really was power; Seo Yujin, one year younger, dipped her head. Having reclaimed the lead, Park Yujeong continued.

“So… before we dive into the song, we should probably pick a leader and a center.”

“……!”

Leader and center. The moment those words came out, the atmosphere turned awkward again ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and the members started reading each other’s faces.

“Shall we pick the leader first?”

At the suggestion to choose a leader, I looked toward Lee Hyejeong. She was the oldest here and had that warm, reliable presence. More than that, she was a singer-songwriter with incredible arranging skills. Having her as leader would have been reassuring.

But…

“…….”

She deliberately avoided my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠eyes. An indirect way of saying she didn’t want the role.

…Is leadership too much pressure for her? Then who…

I turned my head, searching for other candidates—

And that was when I realized every other member’s gaze was already on me.

Apparently they wanted me as leader.

Aigoo…

Just like Hyejeong, I desperately tried to dodge their eyes. Being leader would definitely bring benefits in screen time. But my trainee period had been short. I had no arranging ability… and more importantly, my understanding of idol stages was weaker than the others’. Rationally speaking, I was not leadership material.

Yujeong, who already leads the mood so well, would be better…

While I was thinking that Park Yujeong should take the role, someone raised a hand with cheerful energy.

“Me!”

“I want to be the leader!”

It was Seo Yujin.

“Hmm…”

When she volunteered, the members let out short, uncertain hums. She was the youngest among us… and she had already been sniping and souring the mood. No one thought the leader position suited her.

But Seo Yujin really seemed to want it; she started selling her skills.

“I learned arranging at my company, so I can do that, and I already know most of our song Where Is My First Love!! I can be a good leader!”

“…….”

I had also thought she wasn’t leadership material at first, but her words made me reconsider a little. Even if she was arrogant, there was no denying her ability was outstanding.

If she can arrange too… maybe it’s fine?

Deciding it was acceptable, I decided to back her.

“Then how about we give Yujin a shot? I think she’ll do well.”

When I said that, the other members laughed and nodded along.

“…Yeah, haha. I think so too.”

“If Yujin says she can do it… I’m good with it.”

“This is total ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠maknae-on-top energy.”

“Then let’s go with Yujin as leader.”

With everyone’s agreement, Leader Seo was born.

“Okay, next is… the center.”

Leader chosen; now it was time for center. The center stands at the heart of the stage, so they get the best camera angles and the most screen time. Naturally they need excellent dance ability… and the overwhelming presence to seize the atmosphere.

At the mention of choosing a center, every gaze slid toward me. Feeling their eyes… I nodded inwardly. It wasn’t arrogance; honestly, I thought I was the most suitable center among us.

Once everyone’s attention had gathered, I paused for a beat…

Time to say I’ll do it.

I slowly raised my hand, planning to act like I was reluctantly accepting because everyone wanted me to.

But right then—

“Me.”

…Someone raised their hand before I could.

“I want to be the center too.”

It was none other than Seo Yujin. The girl who had already taken the leader role was now volunteering for center as well.

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

At her words, the team atmosphere plummeted into ice at terrifying speed. I froze in shock at first…

…Fuck, Yujin. Get your head on straight and put that hand down, you crazy bitch…

…then a gradient of pure rage rose up inside me.

No matter how strong the Looking Down on Everyone trait was, this was going too far. Was she not thinking at all, or was she counting on some kind of backing? Did she not realize this greedy image would look terrible to the viewers later?

Maybe if the production staff steps in again…

Hoping the staff would intervene the way they sometimes did and stop Seo Yujin from claiming center as well, I turned my head toward the corner.

And what I met was…

Grin.

…the production staff’s faces, smiling like they were having the time of their lives.

…Damn it.

They had clearly decided this situation was perfect broadcast material.

And so, with Leader Seo’s declaration that she wanted center too, Team Mackerel Sandwich ran into trouble right from the start.