I Became an Idiot
Seo Hayul.
IQ 124.
First-year at Hanlim Science High School.
A little short of a genius, maybe — but not the sort of person anyone would have called stupid, either. My grades had sat in the top ranks all through middle school, and I'd gone on to science high without any particular incident. I'd taken prizes at a few school competitions and outside contests, and scholarships had come in steadily.
I'd been out of contact with my parents for a long time. That hadn't made life especially difficult. Between the government support payments, the scholarships, and the occasional contest prize, I could feed myself just fine on my own.
I did my own housework. I managed my own money. At the very least, I was someone who could take care of myself.
That was me.
"Uhh... wha's this..."
I became an idiot.
The first time I noticed something was wrong was right before lunch.
"Hey, what's with your face?"
The friend in the next seat put a hand to my forehead.
"You're burning up."
"I'm fine. Just a little tired, I think."
I dismissed it at first. But as time passed, my head went foggy and the strength drained out of my body. In the end I told my homeroom teacher and left early.
On the way home, it got worse. Heat welled up from somewhere inside me. My chest felt especially tight, and I couldn't get any real strength into my fingertips. I considered a hospital for a moment, but more than anything I just wanted to sleep. The second I got through the door, I collapsed onto the bed without even changing properly. And just like that, I was out.
When I opened my eyes, the room was dark.
"..."
I stared at the ceiling for a while, blank. My body was clammy. From the sheets to the T-shirt I was still wearing, everything was soaked through with sweat, as if I'd spent the night dunked in water. The fever, though, had vanished as if it had never been there.
"Hah..."
I sat up. And then I froze.
Something was wrong. My body felt light. My eyeline sat lower than it should have. Hair brushed the nape of my neck. And my chest... was heavy.
...What.
That was what I meant to say.
"...Wha?"
?
Just now. What did I just say?
I got down from the bed and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror.
"..."
There was a girl in the glass. Pink hair down to her shoulders. A smaller frame. It was a face I was sure I'd never seen before, and yet traces of my original face lingered in it, unnervingly so.
I pinched my cheek. It hurt. The sensation was far too sharp to be a dream. For a long moment, I couldn't say anything at all.
Stay calm. I needed to get a handle on the situation first.
I was Seo Hayul. I was a male student at Hanlim Science High School, and as of yesterday, this had not been my body.
I looked down at my chest. I understood, then, what the wrongness I'd been feeling since I woke up actually was.
...Is this real?
"Ish this fo' weal??"
???
What's wrong with my voice.
"Wha's wong wif my voith..."
......
This time I tried speaking slowly, on purpose, one syllable at a time.
I. Am. Seo. Ha. Yul.
"I... am. Seo Hayuri... I am."
......
I went straight to the desk and pulled out paper and a pen.
I am Seo Hayul.
That was what I meant to write. But the tip of the pen would not move the way I wanted it to. The strokes came out crooked. The letters jumped wherever they pleased. No matter how many times I tried, the only thing that ended up on the paper looked like a grade-schooler's scrawl.
It wasn't that there was no strength in my fingers. I could make a fist. I could pick up a cup. But the moment I tried to move with any precision, everything went just slightly, maddeningly off.
...I'm losing it.
"I'm gonna wose it."
The next morning, I went to the Community Service Center.
The clerk looked from my student ID to my face and back again.
"Is this... yours?"
Yes. I know it's hard to believe, but I am Seo Hayul.
"Yeees... I'm Hayuri..."
"..."
The clerk's expression softened a little. Ah. I knew that look. It was the one people wore when they'd decided they were talking to a child.
"So your name is Hayul?"
It's Seo Hayul.
"Seo... Hayuri, I am?"
Wait. Again.
"Not Hayuri... Hayu—l..."
Damn it.
"Right, right. I got it."
The clerk answered with a smile. I didn't think she did.
She spent a while looking things up. Naturally, none of it went smoothly. The Seo Hayul in the records was male. The face was clearly similar, but the hair color was different. At a glance, we looked more like a closely resembling brother and sister than the same person.
The clerk asked, looking uncomfortable.
"Do you happen to have a contact number for your parents?"
We've been out of touch for a long time.
"Don' have any..."
Sympathy filled the clerk's face. No. Not that I didn't have any. I had them — I just didn't contact them. The more I tried to explain, the worse it got.
After that it was the student ID, the home address, a call to the school, a cross-check of every personal detail I knew. By any reasonable standard, none of this should have resolved itself this way. I assumed it wouldn't, and sat there with my expectations already packed away.
And then, a short while later, I had a new identity. The photo was my face as it was now. The name was Seo Hayul. The sex was female.
Name: Seo Hayul
Sex: Female
I stared at that ID for a long time.
Does this make any sense.
"Does this make any thenth..."
Forget it. There was no point thinking too hard. Once your body had already turned into a girl's, quibbling over the realism of administrative procedure was a waste of time.
The problem was what came next.
"So who are you living with right now?"
I live alone.
"I wive awone..."
The clerk's hands stopped.
"...Alone?"
Yes.
"Yesh."
A brief silence. The clerk checked the monitor again, then made a phone call. A moment later, another staff member came and sat down across from me. Child welfare, she said.
"Hayul, can I ask you a few things?"
We'd only just met, and she was already calling me Hayul like I was a child.
Yes. Go ahead.
"Yeees..."
"How long has it been since you were in touch with your parents?"
A long time. I don't remember the exact point.
"It's been a wong time... I don' 'member..."
"...I see."
The questions kept coming. How had I eaten. Where had I gotten money to live on. Had I been going to school properly. What did I do when I got sick. I answered as calmly as I could.
I lived on government support and scholarships. Whatever that didn't cover, I made up with contest prizes.
"Money... comes fwom the gove'ment... an' I won pwizes too..."
The caseworker smiled and nodded. But I could tell from her face. She didn't believe a word of it. She chose her next words carefully.
"Hayul. What would you think about staying at a care facility, just for a little while?"
No. I've been living on my own just fine until now.
"Don' wanna... I can do it by mythelf..."
"Mm. I understand that you can do it on your own."
She did not look like she understood that at all.
"But you're not in contact with your parents, and there are a few things that worry me about you living alone."
There's nothing wrong with how I live.
"I'n... no pwobwem..."
"It's a little hard for you to talk, isn't it, Hayul?"
I shut my mouth. She'd stuck the needle in the exact right place.
"If something happened while you were alone, it would be hard to even ask for help, right? I'm not saying you have to stay forever. Just for a little while, until we get things sorted out."
I can manage perfectly well on my own—
"I'n fine by mythelf, weally..."
......
I stopped talking. There was no way arguing that I was fine on my own would carry any weight — not looking like this. Pushing any further didn't seem like it would change anything. I let out a long breath, inwardly.
...All right.
"Otay..."
The caseworker checked the monitor again.
"And we still need to sort out the school situation."
School?
"Schoow?"
"Hayul, are you in school right now?"
I'm a first-year at Hanlim Science High School.
"Hanlim Styence High... I'm a fiwst-year."
"...Science high?"
I showed you my student ID.
"I showed you my student cawd..."
"Right. I did confirm that, but..."
The caseworker looked uncomfortable. The name on the student ID was Seo Hayul. The school was Hanlim Science High School. The problem was that the student on that ID was a boy. Claiming the girl sitting in front of her was the same person was a stretch. Sharing a name and a date of birth, and looking vaguely similar, apparently wasn't enough.
"Based on what we can confirm right now, it's difficult to process you as the same person as that student."
I am the same person.
"We'we the same pewson though..."
She didn't believe that either, of course.
"But you still need to go to school, so I'll look into getting you into a school near the facility."
Hold on.
"Wait a thec."
I leaned forward in a hurry.
I told you, I'm a science high student.
"I said I'm a styence high student...!"
"Right, I hear what you're saying, Hayul."
I didn't think she did.
After that, the caseworker looked up a few regular high schools within commuting distance of the facility, and started some kind of procedure for one of them — transfer or enrollment, I couldn't even tell which.
"......"
Do you have any idea what I went through to get into that science high? Three years of middle school keeping my grades up. Interview prep. Competitions on top of everything else, and I'd barely made it in. And now, overnight, I was a regular high school student.
"......"
I was so furious I could have screamed. But if I opened my mouth to protest—
"Uhhnn..."
—I'd only look even more like an idiot.
Before heading to the facility, I stopped by home for a bit. I put a few changes of clothes and my toiletries in a bag. It was only for a little while. Once things got sorted out, I could come back.
And so, that evening, I got in a car with a single small bag. Not long after, I was standing in front of the Child Welfare Facility.
The front door opened. From inside, the Facility Director stepped out, smiling brightly.
"Hayul, you're here?"
I closed my eyes for a moment. I already had a bad feeling about this.