Dojo Dreams and Umi's Bedroom Trap
Charge of Umi, hyah-!Yah-!! After a short break, what followed was endless free sparring. That was one of Gonzaemon's signature styles. He believed in racking up experience points through real combat. Fighting in actual bouts would naturally correct your form—it was extreme real-world training. Of course, if a bad habit started creeping in during sparring, he'd point it out right then and there.
The grand finale was a match against Gonzaemon himself. Naturally, I got absolutely demolished. What else could I do? Our skill levels were worlds apart.
PAAAAANG-!!!! With one clean head strike, Gonzaemon claimed victory.
"Ahh... I got utterly crushed."
That was all I could say.
"Of course you did. But... impressive. You move with optimal instincts without me even teaching you. Is this... just raw talent?"
Gonzaemon stared right at me.
"Hey, have you ever thought about seriously pursuing kendo? Make it your career."
And just like that, Gonzaemon made me an offer.
"Hmm... not really."
But I already had my path set in stone. Even here, I planned to become a web novel author. Your true calling doesn't change that easily. Not even if you get isekai'd or body-snatched into another world.
"Got something else you wanna do?" Gonzaemon asked.
"I want to be a novelist. It's my lifelong dream."
That's what I told him.
"Whaaat?! I can't accept that!! You've got all the makings of my school's successor!! Train you right, and you could sweep the Japanese kendo world!! I'm not kidding!!"
Gonzaemon switched straight into tantrum mode.
"But I already have a dream..."
"Gah!! You think you're the only one with dreams?! I have one too!! I wanna find a successor!! You're it!!"
Gonzaemon yelled.
Wait, is this how you negotiate?
"No way!! One more round with me!! Clash swords again, and you'll grasp the true essence of the blade!! One more time!! Come on!!"
Gonzaemon went full berserk.
"B-but... even so, two rounds is..."
I'd already planned to hang out with Umi, and after that, head home to write. Plus, squeeze in some flirting with Eri on the side.
"Shut it!! We're sparring now!! That's my dream!!"
Gonzaemon the old man seemed fixated on the word "dream."
That was when it happened.
Shhh-! Asuna, who had concealed her presence, slipped right up behind Gonzaemon. It was so fast, even I didn't notice.
"Dear? Shota-kun's supposed to play with Umi now, right?"
Asuna draped her arm over Gonzaemon's shoulder and said.
"But!!"
"You raising your voice at me right now?"
Asuna fixed Gonzaemon with a dull stare.
Crunch-! The moment tension rippled through Asuna's arm, Gonzaemon's shoulder twitched in spasm.
"W-well, nothing we can do. Shota, you're free to go. Good work."
Gonzaemon flipped his attitude instantly.
"Uh... think about the kendo thing."
He said it in the meek tone of a lamb.
"Ah... sure."
For some reason... it felt like I'd glimpsed the abyss of the Kiryu family. Asuna-san... she's stronger than Gonzaemon. That's what hit me. It was backstory that never showed up in the game. Felt like I'd learned something I really didn't want to know.
I showered in the locker room shower, then changed into casual clothes. Umi must've been considerate—my old outfit was waiting right outside the locker room.
"Hmm... perfume?"
My clothes smelled faintly sweet. Did Umi spray some deodorizer? And there was a stain. Hmm... Umi must've spilled a drink, wiped it desperately to hide the evidence. Then spritzed deodorizer for the perfect crime.
'Sigh... so my detective skills shine in moments like this.'
Ever since I was a kid, this knack for seeing through everything bugged me... that's why I deliberately kept up a normal high school life. But old habits die hard—I ended up piecing together the perfect deduction again.
'I hate... this talent of mine.'
I gazed wistfully beyond the locker room.
Anyway, enough with the dramatic skit. I changed clothes.
'Huh. Locker room's totally empty?'
That struck me as odd. Asuna-san had said it was packed earlier. Did everyone clear out?
Whatever. I headed straight for Umi's room.
"Umi!! Let's hang out!!!"
I shouted at her door.
"Just knock!! What are you, in elementary school?!!"
Umi flung the door open and yelled.
"...And yet, unable to contain her excitement at hanging out with a friend, Umi hurriedly opens the door."
I narrated right away.
"Don't read my mind like that!! Gross!!"
Umi shouted.
"Anyway, coming in."
I stepped right inside.
"Yeah. Come on."
Umi's tone was oddly tense.
"By the way... you showered?"
Umi asked out of nowhere.
"Duh... I was sweaty. Rude not to."
I'd made full prep to enter a girl's room.
"Tch. What a shame..."
Umi muttered with a disappointed look.
Huh? Did I mess up?
Anyway, I got a chance to take in the room.
"Ooh... didn't notice when changing, but... this is a girl's room incarnate!!"
I looked around. A pink-pink vibe, sweet scent, stuffed animals on the bed. And above all... a vanity you'd never find in a guy's room. Zero testosterone. Pure estrogen heaven.
"Girl's room!! Girl's room!!! Kkieeeek!!!!"
Overdosed on estrogen, I lost it.
"Stop your crazy antics!!"
Umi pinned me immediately.
"Ah... sorry. Just got overwhelmed entering a girl's room."
I said.
"You're such... a lunatic. Uhuhuhu."
Umi giggled at me.
"But no karaoke machine. So why'd you call me?"
I sat down and asked.
"How long you gonna obsess over karaoke?!!"
Umi shot back instantly.
"......Seriously none. Thought it'd be a surprise party—bam, karaoke machine appears."
If we weren't going to karaoke, why call me? I shot Umi a look conveying that.
"How's a normal family supposed to get one of those!!"
Umi retorted, then sipped some barley tea nearby. All that sniping must've dried her throat.
"Tch. You're wasting my time. Already burned a full anime song medley."
Thirty minutes gone. Early 2000s anime OP time.
"Whoa!! That bossy tone!! Annoying!!"
Umi smacked my cheeks lightly and yelled.
"Haa... talking to you just pisses me off."
Umi plopped on the bed nearby.
She stared... then tap tap! patted the spot beside her.
"Sit here."
Umi said.
"Tch, on the bed?"
I eyed it. A random guy sitting on a girl's bed...
"It's fine. Can't hear well from over there."
Umi gave some mysterious reason. This room's tiny, though.
"Alright, whatever."
Couldn't refuse an invite. I sat next to Umi. She's the lonely type deep down. Just wants to chat close with a friend. I get it.
"Whoaaa!! High school girl's bed she sleeps in every night!!!"
Throwing in hype to hide my embarrassment was par for the course.
"Uhahahaha!! You trash!!"
Apparently this humor lands—Umi shook with laughter. Dodged a bullet. Otherwise, lawsuit incoming.
Anyway. Rub rub-! Umi playfully grabbed my hand, interlocking fingers and such. Even I got butterflies.
"What're you doing?"
I finally asked.
"I-it's like an attachment doll!! Habit of fiddling with stuff!!"
Umi yelled loudly.
Still, casually groping someone else's hand? Gal distance sense... impressive. Nearly speed-blur confessed thinking she was into me.
"Shota. I hate liars the most."
Umi suddenly went serious. Still hand-in-hand, though.
Should be a sweet event... but her grip felt like shackles. Did this crafty girl grab my hand to block my escape?!! So calculated!!
"Ah! I hate liars too!"
I laughed it off casually.
"Right? I don't think you're a liar, Shota. Total nutjob, though."
Umi smiled. But... her eyes stayed dull even smiling.
"Don't worry. I'm an honest man."
I replied right away.
"Yeah? Then... one question. Got anything going on at night?"
Umi asked.
"........."
Nights were three-man parties with Sassis and Taiga, monster hunting. Umi should've joined early in the game, but that needed a trigger. Sashitsu was supposed to recruit her, but the story'd diverged too much. Telling sunny-side Umi "Hunt monsters. Wanna join?"—no way she'd buy it.
"Nah? Nothing really."
I played it safe. No way she'd find out even if I lied.
Hold off on the truth for now. That's what I decided.
"Hmm... really?"
Umi smiled sweetly.
Phew. She bought it?
But that hope was misplaced.
"Shota... you lied."
Umi's eyes dulled even more.
"......Huh?"
Brain freeze hit hard.
"You did the one thing I hate most."
Right after, Umi grabbed my collar. Before I could react, I was pinned under her.
"Midnight... you meet Taiga, right? Why lie? Sneaky stuff going on. Yeah?"
Umi continued expressionless.
Ah... busted.
I sensed it. Picked the wrong choice.
"Tell me."
Umi's flat tone was straight-up terrifying.
"W-well, y'see?"
I finally spoke up.
I wanna live!!!!!
My heart screamed that alone.