The Divination and the Confession
My birthday and Dokgo Rin’s are separated by only a razor-thin margin. I was born on January seventeenth, she on February eighth, which meant less than a month stood between the days we entered this world. The old fortune-teller who had offered to read our fates asked for our birth details, then spent a long time flipping through his worn book. Finally he looked up, brow furrowed.
“This is rather strange.”
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
He lifted the brim of his bamboo hat just enough to study my face. “Young man, are you certain you haven’t gotten your own birthday wrong?”
“Me?”
To be honest, I had no way of knowing whether January seventeenth was truly my birthday. Everyone who could have confirmed it was dead. If Elder Eom Baek-hyeon had simply misremembered, then the date was wrong.
“Could you tell me why you’re asking?”
The old man pressed the handle of his brush against his temple, looking troubled. “According to the chart you gave me, you died two years ago. Yet here you are, walking around in perfect health. Unless you’re actually a jiangshi, that’s impossible.”
A chill crawled down my spine. Two years ago lined up exactly with the moment I had transmigrated into the dead body of the original Chilbok.
Dokgo Rin, who had been listening quietly beside me, spoke up. “From what Chilbok told me, he lost his memories after the shock of his parents’ deaths. Could that be the reason?”
“Memory loss? No, I doubt it.” The old man shook his head. “The will of heaven doesn’t change so easily. Even if the person forgets, the heavens remember. In cases like this, it’s far more likely that the birth details themselves are incorrect.”
In any case, it seemed he couldn’t read my future. “I’m sorry, young man.”
“It’s all right, sir. The fault lies with me for not even knowing my own birthday.”
I forced a small, awkward smile and brushed it off, but the exchange made me realize this old man was the real thing. He wasn’t one of those charlatans who only said pleasant lies to squeeze coins out of their customers.
“Then it’s the young lady’s turn.”
He flipped through the book again, then suddenly let out a soft “Hmm?” One eyebrow rose. He dipped his brush and began writing something. After a moment he breathed, “Oh-ho,” and looked straight at Dokgo Rin.
“Young lady, are you familiar with the term ‘revealing the secrets of heaven’?”
“Revealing the secrets of heaven?”
“In Taoist thought, ‘heaven’ usually refers to the Primordial Heavenly Venerable or the Jade Emperor. To reveal heaven’s secrets is to defy a fate that has already been decided by those powers.”
He tapped the page. “Looking at your chart… I see the aura of one who defies heaven.”
……
The moment she heard those words, Dokgo Rin straightened her posture, expression deadly serious. “Could you offer me even a small piece of advice, sir?”
The old man let out a quiet sigh. “In the near future, you will face a great ordeal. No matter how much you prepare, it will likely mean little. A predetermined future is not easily changed.”
Still, he added, “Even when the trial comes, do not let it break you. That is all I can tell you.”
“…Thank you for the advice.”
Dokgo Rin gave a small bow, then took several silver coins from her sleeve and offered them as payment.
“Let’s go, Chilbok.”
“Yes, my lady.”
I stood up at her call, then paused and turned back to the old man. “Sir, if we meet again, what should I call you?”
He burst into hearty laughter. “If we meet again, I’ll tell you then.”
On the way home, Dokgo Rin remained lost in thought for a long time, clearly troubled by the grim reading. Then she suddenly turned to me with a serious expression.
“Chilbok, can I ask you just one thing?”
“Of course. Go ahead.”
“You said you kept rejecting my confession because of the difference in our status. So if I abandoned my family and ran away, would you accept me then?”
……
It was an incredibly difficult question to answer. If I said “yes” here, it felt like she would actually do it. I had already realized through our daily life that the feelings she held for me went far beyond simple gratitude for saving her life. Sometimes her affection felt heavy, but I also knew she was constantly, quietly looking out for me. Honestly, aside from being a bit obsessive, she would be considered the ideal bride. Beautiful, talented, wealthy, and… well-endowed. A slightly heavy love was a fair trade for all those other qualities.
But the real reason I hadn’t easily accepted her heart was the fear that I would make her unhappy.
I’ve seen it up close in my previous life—how far a useless husband can drive a devoted wife.
“If you married me, you’d suffer a lot.”
“And Elder isn’t refusing your requests out of spite, right?”
Compared to my own father, who had drowned in alcoholism and couldn’t even fulfill his role as head of the house, Dokgo Jin was basically a good father, aside from being a bit stubborn. If I were in his position, I would have desperately opposed a marriage between Dokgo Rin and me as well.
Whether she understood my meaning, Dokgo Rin let out a small sigh and nodded. “I understand, Chilbok. For now, I’ll respect your opinion.”
“…For now?”
“Of course. I have no intention of giving up.”
She flashed a mischievous smile, the orange glow of the sunset behind her.
“If the only problem is our difference in status, then all you have to do is become someone so incredible that even my parents would have to acknowledge you. Then they’ll have no choice but to approve our marriage.”
“Is that even possible?”
“You won’t know until you try. And your wise and virtuous wife will be right beside you, supporting you with everything she has.”
If that doesn’t work, should we just elope in the middle of the night?
“Hahaha, what are you even saying?”
In truth, I had agonized over it for a long time. Whether someone like me deserved her love. Whether I could make her happy. Whether I even had the right to be happy.
But now the fog in my heart seemed to be clearing.
If I liked her, I should just say it honestly.
“My lady.”
“Yes?”
Her face was hard to see clearly with the sunset behind her, casting her in silhouette. I gathered my courage.
“I like you.”
“…What?”
She stared at me with a dazed expression, as if she had never expected those words. For a long moment she stood frozen like a statue, then snapped out of it and asked urgently.
“I didn’t hear wrong, did I? Say it again, Chilbok?”
I nodded and gladly repeated myself.
“I like you.”
I didn’t want to lie to my own heart anymore. I had nothing, and I could barely take care of myself, but if I worked hard like she said and became someone great, I should at least be able to take responsibility for one person.
When she heard me say it a second time, tears suddenly spilled from Dokgo Rin’s eyes.
“Huh? Why am I…?”
She seemed surprised by her own reaction and quickly wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks. But they kept coming. Soon the dam broke completely, and she began sobbing openly in front of me.
She hadn’t said anything, but it seemed she had suffered a lot because of me all this time.
I patted her back and kept telling her it was okay. Her crying showed no sign of stopping, so I had no choice but to hold her in that slightly awkward embrace until she calmed down.
After what felt like the length of one incense stick burning, I asked the girl still in my arms, “Are you feeling better now?”
Instead of answering, she simply nodded. The confession had been half impulsive. If I had known this would happen, I should have chosen a better atmosphere.
I released her and gently wiped the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. “Why did you ask that question earlier?”
She fidgeted with her lips for a moment, then answered in a small voice.
“I just… got so tired of everything that I thought about throwing it all away and running off to the mountains with you.”
“I’m grateful that you like me that much, but you can’t do that.”
Family should be cherished.
When I spoke in a stern tone, she nodded, looking slightly chastened. The sudden change in her attitude was probably because of the grim fortune we had heard together earlier.
“If you’re acting like this because the reading was bad, you don’t need to take it so seriously. Fortune-telling is usually just for fun. If you get too caught up in it, even things that could have worked out won’t.”
“Okay.”
She nodded quietly, then asked, “So when are we going to have our wedding?”
“…Pardon?”
“I like you and you like me, so there’s no problem anymore, right? Oh, and I’d like two or three children. Being an only child is lonely.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded, as she raced far ahead of me when we had only just started dating. I quickly waved both hands.
“We’ve only just begun seeing each other. And a wedding is out of the question until I’ve properly established myself.”
“What a shame.”
She held out her right hand.
“Then at least you can hold my hand, right?”
“Well… that much is fine.”
I readily took the hand she offered. Her hand was warm and soft, completely different from my own, which had grown rough from harsh training. We practiced the same martial arts, yet the difference was this great. Was it because she was a woman?
Without realizing it, I kept thinking about that as I held her hand tightly all the way back to the Dokgo clan, refusing to let go.