Regarding the Young Lady's Excessively Heavy Affection
There was once a novel called The Heavenly Poison Witch. It was the kind of trashy murim story where, no matter which section you flipped to and read for about ten pages, the words “Goodness gracious, how embarrassing!” would tumble out of your mouth on their own thanks to its shamelessly explicit sex scenes.
Back in my hot-blooded teenage years, I had read the book nearly ten times, feeding my imagination like fuel. Its protagonist was a girl named Dokgo Rin. Originally the cherished jewel of the Dokgo Clan, she sets out on a solitary path through the murim after her family is suddenly wiped out, hunting for the mastermind behind their destruction.
Up to that point it might sound like any other standard murim tale, but Dokgo Rin possessed a cold, calculating personality that didn’t match the sheltered daughter of a great martial house. She weaponized the breathtaking beauty that had earned her the title of the murim’s greatest beauty, using it to hunt down her enemies. What left the deepest impression was that, despite hailing from the righteous path, she never hesitated to use any means necessary for revenge. Seduction was only the beginning. She employed the poison arts that were practically the Sichuan Tang Clan’s trademark, the blood-sucking demonic techniques, and even the yang-stealing yin-nourishing methods—anything to grow stronger, without so much as a flicker of hesitation at soiling her body or her name.
After a string of heaven-rending exploits, she earned the scornful title Heavenly Poison Witch. Hunted as a public enemy of the entire murim world, she finally completed her revenge by dragging the Murim Alliance Leader—the true culprit behind her clan’s annihilation—into mutual death. It was a murim novel utterly devoid of dreams or hope.
Somehow or other, I had found myself inside that very story. On my way home one day I happened to pull a drowning young Dokgo Rin from the water, and from that moment onward my life began to unravel in the most thorough way possible.
“Chilbok, what are you thinking about right now?”
Dokgo Rin’s sudden call yanked me out of my thoughts. I answered with a sheepish laugh.
“It’s nothing, my lady.”
“…You know what will happen if you don’t tell me this instant, don’t you?”
Her eyes were dead as she spoke, drawing a silver dagger from her robes. I had already witnessed her self-harming in front of me several times before, so I knew she was serious. I confessed at once.
“To be honest, I was thinking about the day I first met you, my lady!”
Instantly her expression flipped. She beamed, leaning her whole body against mine as though the threat had never happened.
“Hehe, that’s my Chilbok. You really are always thinking about me, aren’t you?”
“Eep!”
What pressed against my back were two soft, warm dumplings of flesh. The plush, yielding sensation sent pleasure shooting up my spine and straight into my brain, but long experience had taught me this was nothing more than a trap card.
“I was worried you might have been thinking about some other woman instead of me.”
“Ah, my lady. The difference in our stations means we could never possibly—”
Grind.
“What did you just say, Chilbok? Are you trying to trick me?”
I had stepped on a landmine. The hands that had been gently roaming across my body suddenly sprouted sharp claws. I cursed my own mouth for ruining a perfectly good conversation.
“Here I am loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you and loving you, yet you’re going to abandon me and be happy with another woman?”
“N-no, my lady, that’s not what I meant at all…”
“Who is she? I’d really like to hear the name. Otherwise I might lose my mind and start rampaging.”
“You’re blowing it way out of proportion, my lady! Aside from sleeping and bathing, I’m with you every single second of the day. Where on earth would I find the time to meet another woman?!”
I spun around and pulled the clearly berserk Dokgo Rin into my arms. Her hair, which had been thrashing like a medusa in mating season, slowly sank back down.
“Yeah… when I think about it, you’re right. Of course there’s only me for you, Chilbok.”
I answered with hot tears burning behind my eyes.
“Of course, Lady Rin.”
That’s right. Dokgo Rin—the precious daughter of the Dokgo Clan and the future Heavenly Poison Witch—was the murim world’s very own landmine girl.
And I was the pitiful commoner caught firmly in her grasp.