The Headless Chicken Chase
"Eori, honey. Put the knife away."
The house was in great shape, aside from a bit of dust—probably because the owner had gone bankrupt a month or two ago. Thanks to that, we could finish cleaning before lunch.
"Eori."
"Yes, my lord?"
"You're really gonna do it?"
"Yes, sir? Unless you'd like to do it yourself?"
"Nah, no. You do it. Yours'll taste better anyway."
"Heehee. Got it, sir. I'll have it ready in no time."
Eori flashed a bright, childlike smile and bent down toward the floor. She rolled up her sleeves to her shoulders and grabbed a chicken. Cock-a-doodle-doo, cock... The bird we'd bought at the market earlier settled quietly into her arms. Without a pause, Eori gently gripped its restless head and snapped its neck clean—no hesitation.
Snap?!
The real horror wasn't the chicken's death cry. It was the way its body thrashed around, head lolling at a grotesque angle.
"Euuugh! What the hell's wrong with it? Isn't it dead?!"
"Heehee. It'll be dead soon, sir."
Flap-flap! Flutter-flutter!
"Whoa! Crazy! It's coming! It's coming right at me!"
The decapitated chicken charged straight at me. I bolted without thinking, sparking an unintended chase.
"Eori! Grab this thing!"
"Heeheehee! It'll die any second now."
"Just kill it now!"
"Heeheehee!"
Tragedy up close, comedy from afar. Eori watched me freak out with delight and snatched up the next chicken.
"Eori?!"
Snap!
"Aaaah! Get away! Shoo! Shoo!"
I fled from the flapping maniac, scrambling up onto the wooden porch. Takji, who was mopping the floorboards, looked up at me with utter disbelief.
"Sir. You're really the Tiger-Slaying Boy? How's the guy who took down a massive tiger scared of a damn chicken?"
"The tiger died from an arrow to the head! But these things keep coming even after you snap their necks! Whoa! It's climbing up! It's coming, Takji! Help!"
"Shoo, you pest."
Takji swatted the chicken off the porch like it was a fly. It tumbled down, twitching on the ground.
"D-did it die?"
Snap-whoosh!
"Shit! It's not dead! Not dead, you bastard! Do something! Takji!"
"You handle it, sir. I'm busy."
Snap-snap-flap! Snap-whoosh-flap!
"Gaaah! More! There's more now! Eori! Eori!"
"Yes, my lord? You called?"
Eori approached at my desperate plea, beaming innocently. In her hand, the last chicken flopped wildly, its neck already broken.
"Heeheehee. Scared, my lord?"
"Hell yeah! Do something about these demons!"
"Like this?"
Eori kicked a flailing chicken up toward the porch. It charged me again as it landed.
"Eori?!"
"Heeheeheehee!"
"No! No! Stay back! Stay away!"
I booted the thing like a soccer ball. Feathers flying, it sailed across the yard. This time, it looked truly dead—no twitching.
"Eori!"
"Heeheeheehee! Here's another one coming up, sir!"
"Come on! Eori!"
She kicked the next one my way just like before. I punted the headless runner as hard as I could, sending it flying farther.
"One more?"
"No thanks! Pass!"
"Heeheeheeheehee!"
She was having the time of her life watching me panic—shoulders shaking with laughter.
"My lord! How are you so scared? Even my little sister catches them barehanded!"
"Your family's pros at butchering livestock!"
"And aren't you a pro at tigers, sir?"
"I only caught one!"
"Heehee. True enough."
By the time we bantered, the chickens had finally given up the ghost. Eori gathered the sprawled bodies and headed off to finish prepping them. As I watched her go, my eyes met Takji's.
"Sir."
"Huh? What?"
"Clean up the feathers you kicked onto the porch."
"You do it. I'm paying you."
"I already finished everything—you messed it up. Clean it now."
"Fine. Doing it."
"Ah! Don't just flick them with your foot! They're flying everywhere!"
I tried to help, but got bitched at anyway. In the end, I crouched down, picking feathers one by one by hand.
"……."
"……."
Geum-ok and Eun-ok, the sisters cleaning the rooms, watched the whole scene. They looked pre-pubescent, so I asked,
"Geum-ok. Eun-ok. What's up?"
"N-nothing, ma'am. We'll get back to cleaning."
Geum-ok replied in her high-pitched, childish voice and resumed scrubbing. Eun-ok followed her sister's lead, mopping diligently.
What to do with these two? I'd brought them from the magistrate's office, but...
I'd be in the military academy dorms for three years, and settling in Hanyang would take even longer. I'd planned to leave the house with Yi In-su while renting it out. The issue was the slaves left behind without a master.
Park ssi ajossi plucking feathers beside Eori seemed fine—no problems there. He could work for tenants or go to Yi In-su's if needed.
But Geum-ok and Eun-ok worried me. Adding three mouths to Yi In-su's household would burden him, and they already had servants—side quarters wouldn't suffice.
I couldn't just free them willy-nilly and say "go live your lives." That'd be a death sentence.
"M-ma'am?"
I'd stared too openly. Geum-ok, mopping with her sister, glanced nervously.
"D-do you have tasks for us?"
"No, nothing. Just looking."
"R-right? Call us anytime if you need anything."
"Y-yeah. Keep at it. But take it easy—no need to overdo."
"Yes, ma'am."
The more I watched, the sorrier I felt. Geum-ok flinched at my every glance; Eun-ok stuck right behind her sister, mopping away.
Take them with us? Not a bad idea. Load them with luggage on horseback for the trip—not far to home. And while I'm at the academy, Mom would be alone...
The thought solidified as I stepped off the porch. I tossed the feathers into the fire in the yard and approached Eori.
"Eori."
"Yes, my lord? Why'd you call?"
She was elbow-deep in blood, gutting a chicken with a massive knife. Cautiously, I asked,
"Eori. Those girls. Should we take them home with us?"
"……Pardon?"
Her knife froze mid-cut. She turned slowly, eyes oddly vacant.
"Take Geum-ok and Eun-ok to your home, sir?"
"Yeah. I was thinking, leaving them here bothers me. Bring 'em to our place— Eori. Careful with the knife. Knife. Eori. Knife."
The blade that had been slicing chicken now pointed at me. I backed away, hands up, but she didn't stop.
"Is that what you want, sir?"
"Y-yeah, kinda. Eori. Knife down."
"Never dreamed you'd think of concubines before even the wedding."
"What? Put the knife away first. Eori."
"Hmmm……."
I pleaded repeatedly, but she ignored me. She advanced, knife in hand, stood face-to-face, and placed her bloody hand on my shoulder. Looking down with a smile-free face.
"My lord."
"Y-yeah? Eori? What's wrong?"
"Nothing at all. Just never expected you'd suggest taking a concubine before the wedding."
"Huh?"
"I'm not saying don't take one. Just follow the proper order, sir."
What the hell?! I tried to pull back, but her grip held firm. Her unblinking stare screamed something was very wrong.
"My lord? Going somewhere?"
"N-no! That's not—!"
"Then what is it?"
"Why would I take a concubine?"
"……Pardon?"
The pressure vanished in an instant. Sweating more than during the chicken assaults, I cleared the misunderstanding.
"L-leaving those two in Hanyang alone while we're gone bugs me. Take 'em home, have 'em keep Mom company."
"So you'd make them your concubines?"
"I'd have to be home for that! Mom'll be lonely while I'm at the academy. Companions for then."
"I-is that it? I thought you meant taking Geum-ok as a concubine…!"
"Me? That kid? Why?"
"She's no kid. Geum-ok's only three years younger than you."
"Three years younger's still thirteen. And with you around, why would I need a concubine? No one's like you in this world."
"Heehee. Sorry, my lord."
Eori blushed, twisting shyly at her mistake. She removed her hand from my shoulder but kept the knife.
"So, what do you think?"
"Won't it be dangerous? Wild beasts on the mountain paths…."
"Stick to merchant caravans then. Takes longer, but safer. Horses for the rough bits."
"I'll follow your lead, sir."
A bit bloody, but I had her blessing. Now for the girls themselves.
"Geum-ok. Eun-ok."
I called them from the porch. They bolted out of the room.
"Yes, ma'am! Any orders?"
Even on the porch, I had to tilt my head down to meet her eyes—she was that tiny. To the sister who looked way too young for Eori's concubine suspicions, I said,
"We're not moving to Hanyang—we're just visiting. We'll head back home soon. Wanna come with?"
"Yes?!"
Takji yelped in disbelief, not the sisters. He stopped mopping, glaring.
"Sir! A concubine before marriage?!"
"……Geum-ok. Gimme the mop."
"Yes, ma'am."
I snatched it and hurled it at Takji's blabbering face.
"Like hell! With Eori around, why bother?!"
"Mmph?! Sir! Gross!"
"Wash it clean while you're at it! And prep lunch—we're eating soon!"
"This is too much!"
He grumbled but grabbed both mops and stood.
I took one from Eun-ok and chucked it too.
"This one too!"
"Got it!"
"Heehee."
A faint giggle. From Eun-ok, peeking behind her sister. Geum-ok stifled a laugh too. I paused at their first smiles I'd seen, then said,
"Don't wanna go? No pressure. We've got time—tell me before we leave. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Wash up for lunch."
They bowed and hurried off. I rejoined Eori, who was now slathering chopped chicken in red tandoori sauce.
Lunch prep reeked of blood, but damn if it wouldn't make the tandoori chicken taste even better.