Behold, Our Dung Pig!
Look! There she is—our Dung Pig!
I couldn't see her face right away, even though the baby had been born. It was impossible to even look at Eori, fresh out of childbirth. In Joseon, where infant mortality was far higher than in the modern era, this was only natural. Even if modern transplants had overhauled local hygiene practices, it didn't change a thing.
In the end, it took three full days before I could finally lay eyes on Eori and our daughter.
"You absolutely must not cross the door threshold. Absolutely not."
"Yes, yes, I got it. Hurry up and open the door."
"Very well, then. I'll open it."
The midwife granny who'd been staying with us opened the door. Sitting on the porch, I caught sight of the scene through the gap and sucked in a sharp breath.
"Heehee, my lord."
There sat Eori, whom I hadn't properly seen even once in three days despite living under the same roof. She managed a feeble smile but refused to set down the baby cradled in her arms.
"Look, my lord. She's the spitting image of you."
Dung Pig might have originally meant a pig that lived off people's shit, but right now, it felt cuter than ever. Still seated on the porch, I craned my neck as far as it would go to get a good look at our daughter.
She was swaddled head to toe in cloth, with only her face peeking out. Her chubby cheeks and puffy eyelids were unbearably adorable. The deep double eyelids and perky nose took after Eori, while her slightly lighter skin resembled mine.
Only now did it truly sink in that this was our child, and I couldn't hold back the grin.
"Dung Pig! Dung Pig! Our pretty little babyyy~ Dung Pig!"
Eori smiled bashfully at my mutterings. She glanced down at the daughter in her arms, then met my eyes.
"I'm just glad you're so pleased, my lord."
"Why wouldn't I be? Look at our beautiful girl."
"But next time, I will definitely bear you a son."
"Nah, it's fine. Seeing her now, I think daughters are plenty."
Daughters were the best. For real.
As I beamed contentedly, my father-in-law's anxious voice called from behind.
"S-son-in-law, sir! C-could you just... move aside a bit? P-please?"
Damn, I'd been too wrapped up in my own world. I scooted over and pointed at our daughter.
"Look! There she is—our Dung Pig!"
"Whoa! She's gorgeous! So pretty!"
"She looks more like Captain Gapsa!"
"What are you talking about? She takes after the dark one more!"
Exaggerating a bit, pretty much every adult in Chaekho Village had shown up to gawk. Not just in front of our house—neighbors were peering over from the fences next door. Some had even climbed onto their roofs.
"Waaahhh!"
Naturally, my father-in-law was among the crowd. Tears soaked his bushy beard as he sobbed loudly.
From the yard, my mother-in-law scolded him.
"Aigoo! You fool! Why are you crying on such a joyous day?!"
"B-but... our girl... it feels like just yesterday she was crawling around... and now... she's a mother... waaahhh!"
"Shut it, you! If you're gonna wail like a beggar, go do it somewhere else!"
The villagers chuckled merrily at the sight.
That's when it happened.
"Closing up now! Everyone, step back!"
The midwife started shutting the door.
"What?! No! Wait! Just a bit longer—please!"
"No can do! Too much cold air is bad for both baby and mom!"
"Ah... alright."
No helping it—cold drafts were bad for the body. Swallowing my disappointment, I backed away and watched her close the door.
"Eori!"
I called out to the now-shut door.
"I'll be right here at home! If you need anything at all, just say the word! Got it?"
"Heehee, yes! My lord! I will!"
Her voice was weaker than before childbirth, but Eori's bright laughter still gave me a surge of energy.
With the baby out of sight, the villagers began to disperse one by one. I chatted a few more words with Eori through the door, then stood up.
Our house wasn't just us three right now. There was the midwife granny and her assistant, Flower Bun, who'd been staying over to help with postpartum care. My mother-in-law, coming and going to handle chores. And Geum-ok, bustling in the kitchen making food.
"Son-in-law, sir! I'm off to do the laundry!"
"Oh, let me help!"
"No need! I'm doing ours anyway! Be right back!"
Now it was just the midwives and Geum-ok. Not wanting to disturb Eori's rest, I headed to the kitchen.
"Geum-ok. How's it coming along?"
"Yes, ma'am. Boiling the soup now."
Geum-ok stood by the small hearth, stir-frying sesame oil and beef in the cauldron. She was planning to make seaweed soup with that flavor base.
"Need a hand?"
"W-well..."
Geum-ok paused, wooden spatula in hand, fidgeting. I figured it was hard for her to boss around the master of the house, but that wasn't quite it.
"A-aren't you hungry, sir?"
She bowed her head deep while tormenting the beef. Her ears flushed from the fire's heat as she pointed to the corner of the hearth.
There sat a bowl covered with a plate like a lid.
"I made a little snack there. Eat it if you're peckish."
It was almost lunchtime, and I was getting hungry. I patted Geum-ok's head lightly and went to the corner. Lifting the plate-lid, I found mugwort rice cakes inside.
Geum-ok made damn good mugwort cakes. I picked up the whole bowl, fragrant with roasted sesame oil.
Before biting into one, I asked, "You got some for Eori and the midwives?"
"Gave it this morning. When ma'am went for training."
While I was out morning training, apparently. Confirming Eori had eaten some, I chomped down a big bite.
"Mmm. Delicious."
Chewy texture with tough fibers that hit like a kick, and rich mugwort aroma filling my mouth and nose. I wolfed down the first one in seconds and grabbed the second.
"Geum-ok. Isn't my daughter cute?"
"Yes. Very cute. She has ma'am's refined features."
"She's not even a year old yet—what refined features?"
I snorted at her reply, munching away. As I reached for the last one, I eyed Geum-ok thoughtfully.
Geum-ok was fourteen this year—a couple more years, and she'd be marriageable age. Watching her start to blossom into womanhood, I asked,
"Geum-ok. Got a guy you like?"
"Pardon?"
Geum-ok froze mid-pour of water into the frying beef. Her youthful face flushed crimson as she stared at me.
"W-what do you mean?"
"Just... if there's someone you fancy, I could play matchmaker."
At her age, having a crush or two was perfectly normal. As long as he wasn't some creep, I'd be happy to set her up.
"..."
Her flushed face suddenly cooled. Frowning subtly, she glared and turned back to the cauldron.
"There is one."
"Whoa, really? Who?"
I'd only poked once, and it spilled right out. Ignoring my pounding curiosity, I pressed.
"Someone from the village?"
"Yes. He lives here."
"Who? How old?"
"Seventeen this year."
Same age as me? Plenty of guys my age around here were already married. She couldn't be into a married man, right?
"Who is he? Wait—no, just the surname. Kim? Lee? Park? Choi?"
"Kim."
Kim? Lots of Kims in the village. Me and Eori too. Not one of my brothers-in-law, I hoped? Ages matched up...
Just as I decided to ask his name—
"Ahem! Anyone home?"
A familiar voice called from outside.
"I'll get it. You stay here."
I hurriedly scarfed the last mugwort cake and left the kitchen. Striding quickly, I flung open the gate.
"Ahem! Ahem!"
Ugh. So much for the good snack—nausea hit.
"Heh heh. Si-jin, my boy. Doing well?"
Kim Jin-sa stood there with Dol-soe in front, his age-spotted face beaming, flushed with excitement.
"So, the Dung Pig, eh? How's the little one? Healthy? Like you? Heh heh heh."
"Y-yes. Thanks to your concern, sire, she's healthy."
"Hey now! What's with that?"
Kim Jin-sa stopped laughing, frowning.
"Sire? Say it again!"
"Ah, uh, f-fa—fath...!"
Fuck.
"F-Father...!"
That damn brat detective! It all traced back to my offhand comment while investigating the Hong Gil-dong case. Swearing on my father's honor to solve it. Word spread to Jeongeup, and Kim Jin-sa got the wrong idea.
The worst possible one.
"Heh heh heh! That's right! My son!"
Thrilled that I'd invoked his name to crack the case, he unilaterally declared father-son status.
On his own whim. I hated it.
"I'm not alone! Come greet them!"
Kim Jin-sa had brought more than just Dol-soe.
"G-good day... G-grand... mother."
"...Yes."
"B-brother... well?"
"Y-yeah. B-bro... ahem! Little brother."
His principal wife, Hong ssi Bu-in, and second legitimate son, Kim Hui-un, were with him. Both wore faces as thrilled as mine about Kim Jin-sa's solo decision.
"Hmph! Indeed!"
Only Kim Jin-sa grinned like an idiot as he signaled Dol-soe.
Dol-soe held bundles of dried seaweed.
"Fresh from Tongyeong yesterday. Don't mind the cost—eat up."
Fine. After I gave him fermented crab, this was the least he could do.
"No need to bring anything. You could've come empty-handed."
I snatched the seaweed before he changed his mind.
"But what to do?"
Hugging the bundles, I grimaced apologetically.
"My wife and baby caught a chill, so seeing them right now might be tough."
"Ahh, we'll have to wait a bit, then."
Just go home already. Even my roundabout refusal didn't faze him.
In the end, he cracked the door just enough to peek at the baby's face.
I wanted to smack him, but I couldn't show violence in front of our kid.