Peace Lasted Less Than Five Minutes
It hadn't even been five minutes since I'd thought things were peaceful. Vacation life was pure bliss. The moment I opened my eyes in the morning, I didn't see bearded old men—instead, there was Eori, sleeping soundly beside me.
"Heh."
A grin spread across my face. Eori looked so adorable, her thick double eyelids softly closed as she turned toward me in her sleep. I stayed in the bedding, reaching out to gently stroke her hair without getting up.
"Mm..."
Her smooth brown forehead wrinkled cutely with a little groan. Aigoo, my sweet Eori. Ticklish, huh? It was still hard to believe that this innocent girl sleeping so obliviously was carrying my child. To grasp the reality, I slipped my hand under the blanket and caressed her belly. Through the thin fabric, I felt the firm swell of her pregnancy.
Thump.
Looks like I wasn't the only one awake. A faint movement stirred from deep within her warm belly. Did Daddy wake you, Shung-i? As an apology, I rubbed it softly. Our little Shung-i must have wanted to feel my touch from inside Mommy's tummy, wriggling and sending kicks my way.
Whoa. Our baby really is in there. The memory of feeling Shung-i's first kicks just days ago was still vivid. Until then, I'd thought of the pregnancy only in terms of modern knowledge. But when I felt that sensation through her belly, my eyes welled up unbidden, and my chest swelled with emotion. And I vowed: No matter what, I'll protect Eori and Shung-i.
Squeeze.
At that moment, Shung-i pushed back against my hand from inside Eori's belly. Seemed like the little one wanted to play more with Daddy. I lightly patted Eori's belly while humming a tune about the majesty of life.
"Ba-ba-ye-tu, ye-tu, Shung-i-ya♪ Shung-i-ya♪ Um-bing-gu-ni, ye-tu, Shung-i-ya♪ Shung-i-ya♪"
For prenatal care, Daddy's singing is a must, right, Shung-i?
"...What are you—what are you doing, my lord?"
Singing right in her ear, how could Eori not wake? Frowning as she opened her eyes, she sat up a bit and asked in a sleepy voice.
"Was that... just now, a melody?"
"Ah, sorry. Was I too loud?"
"No, my lord. Please, continue. Mmm."
Not sure if she meant it, but she closed her eyes softly and wriggled a bit. Well, whatever. Mommy approved, so...
I carefully sat up, mindful not to let cold air into the blanket. Facing her belly as she lay on her side, I patted it to the rhythm.
Tap, tap-tap, tap-tap.
"Ba-ba-ye-tu, ye-tu, Shung-i-ya♪ Shung-i-ya♪ Um-bing-gu-ni, ye-tu, Shung-i-ya♪ Shung-i-ya♪"
"Stop it."
"You said continue?!"
But before the first verse ended, Eori rolled to face the other way. My voice rose a bit in disappointment, but hey, at least I was awake now. I leaned over toward her face as she faced the wall.
"Eori-ya. I'm heading out for my workout."
"Yes, my lord... Be safe..."
Her words slurred as sleep reclaimed her. I planted a soft kiss on her cheek, and her lips curved up just a touch.
"I'll be back. Keep sleeping."
I stroked her shoulder gently and got out of the bedding. Stepping out of the room, I breathed out frosty air and stretched to loosen up. My stiff body from sleep warmed right up. On the wooden floor, I dropped for push-ups. Next, feet hooked on the floor edge, push-ups in the yard. Squats in the yard, focusing on knees and hips. Then back inside for sit-ups.
Not that no one passed by the house during my routine. Old man Choi from next door, my father-in-law heading to the butcher shop, even Geum-ok coming to our house for work. They all had something to say seeing me exercise.
"Heh heh! My lord! Take it easy!"
"Oh! Son-in-law! Feeling better from that cough?"
"Ma'am. Can I join too?"
100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, 25-ri run. My workout routine had spread from Jeong-eup and Jeonju across nearly all eight provinces of Joseon. To them, my morning exercise was just daily routine.
"Haa, haa, haa."
By the time I finished everything but the run, I was lightly sweating.
"Haa! Haa! Haa!"
Geum-ok, who'd joined midway, lay exhausted on the floor.
"Geum-ok-ah. You okay?"
"Y-yes, ma'am."
As she tried to get up, I quickly stopped her.
"No, it's fine. Just lie there. I'm heading out for my run first. Come later if you want, or rest here."
"Th-then, I'll... rest... just a bit."
"Sure. See you later."
I lightly stroked her sweaty forehead and left the yard. To keep from cooling down on the way out of the village, I started jogging lightly.
Ahh. So peaceful. If every day could be like this, I'd have no regrets.
Exiting the south village gate, I turned left immediately. Keeping the outer wall on my left, I'd slow at corners.
"Huh?"
The path was a muddy mess from yesterday's snow melting in the morning sun. And there, suspicious tracks.
"Ah, shit. What now."
Peaceful thoughts lasted less than five minutes. Already, signs of trouble.
Nah, probably nothing.
I slowed and stopped before the mud. Up close, it screamed incident. A musky beast stench too. Squatting, I examined: drag marks, fist-sized hoofprints, stiff hairs everywhere. Not human, obviously. A beast... big one.
"Wild boar?"
Looking around, nothing but barley fields lightly snowed. Not near the village, but right at the outer wall, mud bath time. And winter—mating season for male boars. They'd charge at anything in a frenzy.
"Ha, shit. For real."
Morning started great with Eori's face, now this.
First, back to village, report boar tracks...
"Uwaaaah!"
"Wak! Wak! Waaak!"
No need. Park-ssi ajossi and father-in-law zigzagging like mad.
Pfuuuk!
A gray compact car burst from the woods where they fled. Not that advanced-Joseon had cars—no, just a boar that size.
"Heh heh. Fuck."
A hollow laugh escaped with a curse. Sure, beasts roamed Joseon era, but one popping up days after returning home? Overkill.
"Uwaak! Get in! Close the gate! No! Don't close! Don't close!"
Far off, father-in-law and ajossi zigzagged into the south gate. Luckily, gate closed before boar arrived. Unluckily, now just me and the boar outside.
Grunt!
Boar lingered at the gate, regretting missing them. Snorting fiercely, sniffing gate and walls. Only time before it spotted me.
But hope remained. Only south gate closed; others open. Slip in before they shut or it notices.
"...!"
Yeah. I can do this. Who am I? Chaekho Dongja. Tiger-slayer, leopard too. But boar? Not killing—evade, idiot.
Ignoring pounding heart, I stepped quietly. Never taking eyes off boar, backed away fast.
"Ack?!"
Tense, forgot muddy rear. Splat!
Fall noise got it. Boar at gate turned my way.
Heard boars have bad eyes. Even close up, clueless. Eye contact? Imagination.
Grooo!
"Ah, shit! Wrong!"
Classic pig roar as it charged. I scrambled up. Glancing back: boar barreling at me.
"Aa! Wait! Wait, you bastard! Aaaak! Eori-ya! I love you! Aaaak!"
What the hell! Thirty minutes ago, cuddling under blankets!
Pfuuuk!
Boar's breath hot on my back. Worse, rotten-shit mouth stench in warm gusts.
"Fuck!"
Hoping boars can't drift, I dove sideways. It thundered past.
What? Survived? ...Wait. Didn't say "I'm dead." No flag.
Braked meters ahead, turned back.
Haa, morning workout intensifies.
Mud-caked, I stood. Pfuk! Pfuk! Boar not charging—playing? Pawing ground like angry bull in movies.
Uh, now what? Seconds left.
Glared at boar, eyed surroundings. Just run planned—no gun, sword. Useless rocks, sticks.
Best bet... Plan hit, doubts followed. Boar pig, not dumb. Fall for that?
Greeek!
No time for better. Inferior to tiger roar, but ear-splitting charge.
I didn't flee back or dive. Stared unblinking as it shook earth.
Greek!
Ugh, filthy drooler...
At face range, dove side. Boar whooshed past, musky.
Not same as before. Boom! Cannon quake.
Head up from mud: boar head-planted in village wall—brick and cement. Motionless. Legs buckled, car-sized body toppled. Crack in wall, blood burst like sack.
It... worked? For real?
Plans succeeding thrill, but this? Absurd.
"Phew, stupid. Fell for it?"
Gruk.
"Uh, uh. Sorry. Sorry."
Sudden noise, I apologized backing up. Voices from south and east gates.
"Chaekho Dongja my lord! My lord! You alright?!"
"My lord! Answer if you hear!"
"Captain Kim Si-jin! Captain Kim Si-jin! Alive?!"
Heard I went exercising, came to help.
"Yes! I'm alive!"
Raised hand high; calls stopped. Seconds later, village men swarmed with spears, bows, clubs, matchlocks.
"Whoa, wow! Wh-what is this?!"
"Th-this thing, was it always like that?"
"Nah? It was rampaging earlier?"
Eyes on wall-smashed boar over mud-me.
"S-son-in-law."
Father-in-law approached, whom I'd unwittingly lured boar toward. Beard-framed blank stare.
"D-did you... do this?"
"Ah, uh, th-this? Yup! Yup!"
Shocked squeak covered by cough. Hid shaking hands behind back, nodded at spasming legs pointing boar.
"Uh, morning noise... m-made it reflect facing wall."
"...".
Not awe—stared intently. At my mud-pasted butt from ass-plant.
"No! Not that! Mud! Mud!"
"Eh? Agassi-mi-da-ong."
"Why nasal?!"
I wasn't stung back there!