Honey Taffy and Beggar Beatdown
You beggar brat! Live long and happy out in the wild!
Sticky clumps of candy stretched into thin strands like ten thousand threads. Honey taffy. The vendors hawked it as a treat once reserved for when the king welcomed Ming envoys, but anyone with half a brain knew it was really a traditional Turkish confection.
"Here you go! This is the very honey taffy even the king only savored when Ming envoys visited! Way over in China, they call it dragon's beard candy because it looks just like a dragon's whiskers!"
We'd all been wrong. No matter what the internet said about it not being Korean, watching merchants spin it fresh right there in the Joseon-era market made it impossible to deny.
"Eori."
"Yes? My lord? No, brother? Wait, oppa?"
"Want one? Should I buy you some?"
"……!"
Eori, who'd been staring holes into the honey taffy stall, nodded furiously at my question. Her ponytail whipped wildly behind her.
"Hey there. Two honey taffies, please."
"Right away! That'll be 1 nyang for two!"
"Ack."
Money here came in nyang, jeon, and pun. In modern terms, 1 nyang was about 10,000 won, 1 jeon was 1,000 won, and 1 pun was 100 won. So they were ripping people off at 5,000 won a pop for something that cost 1,000 won for ten back home.
"Oh, uh, no thank you. I don't really want any."
"H-h-h-here, t-take it……!"
It was a massive rip-off, but I couldn't ignore Eori pretending she didn't want it out of consideration for me. I handed over half my pocket money from Mom to the taffy vendor.
"Oh my! Thank you, young master! Y-young master? Please, put it down……!"
Thwack!
"Here! That's 1 nyang worth of honey taffy!"
The vendor snatched up the nyang and wrapped a generous heap of powdered honey taffy in paper before handing it over. I immediately offered it to Eori.
"Eori. Here."
"Oh! B-brother! I don't need anything like—"
"Ahh~"
"Ah, ahh, okay!"
She'd been playing it cool, but the second I held out the taffy, her mouth popped open. One big bite, and her face lit up with pure bliss.
"Mmmmmm! So delicious!"
"Right?"
"Yes! You should try some too, my lord!"
"Here, take it then."
"Yes! My lord! No, oppa!"
I passed her the taffy while basking in that drilled-in "oppa." Then I got another from the vendor and took a bite myself.
"Mmm. Tasty."
The chewy, sweet strands of stretched sugar, packed with crunchy nuts, made for a fun texture. ……Still felt like highway robbery, though.
Clang! Jing-jing-jing! Clang! Jing!
"Oh! My lord! What's that over there?"
"Huh? Wanna check it out?"
"Yes! My lord! Hurry! Hee hee hee hee!"
Eori couldn't hide her excitement at the gong sounds echoing through the crowd. She grabbed my wrist without thinking and dragged me toward the noise.
"Whoaaa! It's a wandering troupe!"
We squeezed through the throng with her small frame leading the way and found the performers decked out in flashy costumes, playing instruments with wild abandon as they danced.
With kids getting gouged on snacks and the troupe rocking the market, it was clear today was market day—not the usual five-day kind, but the rare yeonsi festival that only happened once or twice a year.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! My lord! My lord! Tightrope! Tightrope walkers!"
Not the frozen treat—actual tightrope. Sure enough, the troupe was stringing a rope between two poles. A jaunty tune wrapped up to grab attention, then the piercing taepyeongso pipes kicked in for dramatic flair.
The crowd watched eagerly as the performer climbed the rope. Eori, of course, was glued to the show.
"My lord! He's gonna fall, gonna fall— kyaaah!"
"Eori! He hasn't fallen yet! Look!"
"Oh! Oh! For real? Whoa! Hee hee hee! Oh! Kyaa!"
In entertainment-scarce Joseon, tightrope walking was pure dopamine. The crowd gasped in thrilled worry every time the walker wobbled.
"Woooah! Wooaaah!"
Clap clap clap clap clap!
When it finally ended, applause erupted from everyone. Pumped by the cheers, the troupe prepped their next act.
Eori and I stuck around for more. They milked the crowd a bit, but tossed coins kept the show going.
"Hah, hah… Wasn't that so much fun?"
By the end, Eori's face was flushed with excitement, her big round eyes sparkling like a kid at an amusement park for the first time.
"Yeah. Pretty fun."
Even in this alternate-history Joseon, spectacles like that were rare. We watched without noticing time fly, then slipped away as it wrapped up.
"Eori. Anything else you wanna do? Or see?"
"Uh, umm. Not sure yet!"
"Alright, then let's wander and find something. Bound to be more fun stuff."
"Hee hee! Yes!"
We roamed the market together. We grabbed overpriced pumpkin taffy, tried the classic festival ring toss, and even spotted some Joseon-style dalgona candy.
Crack!
"Ah! Waaaah……."
Eori squatted, carefully needling her dalgona, but ended up with a sad face. Meanwhile, I neatly extracted the star shape and held it out to the vendor.
"Mister. Next one."
"Tch……."
The dalgona guy looked annoyed but slid over the next piece, stamped with an umbrella shape.
"Eori. You eat this one."
"Huh? Thank you! My lord! Hee hee!"
I handed the scraps from her failed triangle attempt to Eori, who failed spectacularly again. She beamed and crunched them happily.
"Fuuu……!"
I took a deep breath to steady myself before starting on mine. I wet the needle with saliva and went to work.
Scrape, scrape scrape.
"……."
"……."
Under the watchful eyes of Eori and the vendor, I carved away. Their stares held opposite emotions, but equal intensity.
Scrape scrape, tick!
"Yes……!"
After intense focus, I pried off one of the five prongs. Four more to go.
Thud!
"Whoa!"
Someone passing by nudged my leg. It was light enough not to topple me from my squat, but enough to—
Crack!
"Fail! That's a fail!"
It shattered the dalgona in my hand.
"Argh! What the hell! Which punk was that?!"
I jumped up, dalgona bits stuck to my hand, ready to shove it down the throat of whoever nudged me.
"What? Punk? What'd you just call me?"
"You little shit."
"You know who we are?"
Nah, I was over it. Totally over it. Accidents happen. I was just being sensitive. Yeah.
"Which punk's blocking the heroic wanderers' path? Step up, punk!"
The guy who'd kicked my leg wasn't alone. They looked ragged, but outnumbered and out-aged us. Including Eori, that is.
"Oh dear, heroes. Sorry about that. Carry on."
The youngest looked two or three years older than me, the oldest mid-teens. Probably beggar kids mixed in with the troupe and merchants.
Don't underestimate beggars. These kids were either kicked out for trouble or runaways—the modern equivalent of delinquent gangs.
"Hey. What'd you say earlier?"
Once provoked, the beggars bristled fast. The voice-cracking one growled low and closed in. Time to get adult help……!
"Shoo! Wanna fight? Take it far away! Leave the needle!"
Damn! Adults are useless!
"Hey. You heard him? Come here."
Yank!
The beggars grabbed my collar roughly and dragged me into a nearby alley. Eori hesitated, peeking around nervously, then followed.
"Wait, uh, b-brothers. Must be a misunderstanding."
"What? Brothers? You our little bro?"
"No, not like that."
"This ain't inside? It's outside!"
Whack!
I was barely keeping a smile to de-escalate when a fist met my head. Eori, fighting tears, yelled out.
"Don't do that! Don't hit our young master!"
"What're you? His brother?"
"Not family, just close neighbors—"
"Nobody asked you!"
Thud!
"Guh!"
A kick to the chest sent me tumbling back.
"Kyaaah! M-my lord! My lord! Are you okay?!"
Eori rushed over with a scream nothing like her tightrope cheers. The beggars just cackled like it was hilarious.
"Hey. Hit the kid more, that one's crying. Fun."
"Should I?"
The chest-kicker smirked and approached, raising his foot like he was gonna stomp me.
Ah, damn. Didn't wanna do this……!
Bracing for a drawn-out fight, I steeled myself. Not to take hits, obviously.
"You little sh—"
Snap!
"—it?!"
I clamped one of his legs tight under my armpit. He froze mid-step, clueless I'd move.
I didn't miss the opening.
"Hup!"
I snapped my lower body up, wrapping his leg like a vine. Then tensed every muscle……!
Crack!
"Aaaagh! My leg! My leeeeg!"
Leglocked, he toppled instantly. I rolled with him on the dirt, yelling,
"Get lost! Or I snap this punk's leg!"
"Aaaagh! No! Noooo! Aaaagh!"
Crunch!
"Auuugh!"
No matter how rough life on the streets, a twisted leg from a leglock was a first. Probably even the first time seeing one.
"B-bro! What do we do?!"
"Y-you! Let go! Now!"
"Fuck! What is this kid?!"
What else? Judo prodigy!
Okay, not really. Elementary school was my competitive peak, and my best was an encouragement award. But this young body remembered the techniques crystal clear.
I'm not just some martial arts wannabe……!
Crunch!
"Aaaagh! I heard it! The snap! It's breaking! Aaaaagh!"
"Hey! Counting to three! Scram! One! Two! Two-and-a-half! Two-and-three-quarters!"
"F-f-f-fuck! Run!"
The leader bolted first, the rest scattering after. Soon, the alley held just me, Eori, and the maximally-twisted-leg guy.
"Th-they're gone! All gone! Let go!"
"Fine, you punk!"
I released the leg. He limped up and fled after his crew.
"You beggar brat! Live long and happy out in the wild!"
"Fuck off!"
"That little……!"
I shot up to chase, but Eori held me back.
"My lord! My lord, are you okay? Anywhere hurt?"
"I'm fine. Didn't get hurt. You saw me win."
"Still……!"
"Told you, I'm good. Just a bit dirty."
I ignored my throbbing chest and patted her head. She was calming down, though still teary.
"You okay? Gotta be scared."
"N-no……!"
"Don't lie. I'll buy something tasty. Still got money left. Want anything?"
"Um, h-honey…… taffy……!"
"Ah, that? A little pricey."