I Acted Like a Dog Because They Treated Me Like One
They treated me like a dog, so I just acted like one. There was no way the hazing would continue after I caused that much chaos. Park Seon-ryung, his face marked with bite wounds everywhere including his hands, was carried out by the other seniors. The trainee scholars who were left—only my fellow rookies—gawked blankly before slipping out of Cheong-un-dang one by one. With the main players gone, the gisaengs were dismissed too. Now, the only ones left in Cheong-un-dang were So Ji-hu, Jeong Hyeon-beom, and me.
A feast had been laid out, and it felt like a waste to leave just like that, so we decided to have a drink and chat.
"Hey, Captain!"
So Ji-hu, who had been in his underwear just moments ago, scowled. We sat around a small drinking table, sipping liquor as he lectured me about what had happened.
"What kind of behavior is it to leave bite marks on the face of the minister's son over some stupid hazing ritual!"
There was a reason Park Seon-ryung had been strutting around in front of me. A reason the surrounding seniors fawned over him like they would offer up their livers and gallbladders.
Park An-sin, who had served as the Governor of Jeolla Province in Jeonju over a decade ago and was now the Minister of Justice in Hanyang. Park Seon-ryung was his third son.
"Even if Your Excellency has the favor of the Retired King and His Majesty, wounding the third son of the Minister of Justice... the court won't let it slide."
Sure, something was bound to happen. But the target wouldn't be me—it'd be that bastard Park Seon-ryung. I couldn't help chuckling at the thought of putting his name at the top of the hazing report.
"Pfft. No need to worry."
"Hey! This isn't something to laugh off!"
So Ji-hu, clueless, furrowed his brow in frustration.
"Haha. Brother, don't be so uptight."
Jeong Hyeon-beom, holding a tiny shot glass in his pot-lid-sized hand, tried to soothe him.
"Our Si-jin did it for you, brother. How can you just scold him like that?"
"I have to scold him! Because of me, our captain's bright future is ruined! I have to! I have no face left to show our captain!"
"Whoa, brother, you haven't had too much to drink, have you?"
Seeing him sigh with tears welling up, I was tempted to spill the truth right then. That the one getting screwed wouldn't be me, but Park Seon-ryung, that bastard. But I couldn't carelessly reveal the secret decree from King Sejong himself.
"It's fine. His Majesty will take good care of it."
All I could do was soothe my itchy mouth with the crisp, biting liquor.
"Kuh. Sweet."
Probably meaning the day had been memorable.
"Hah! It's my fault! All my fault!"
"Brother, don't say that. What does that make Si-jin's position?"
"I really have no shame! Captain!"
"I said it's fine."
The mood at the table had tanked because of what I'd done earlier. Even Jeong Hyeon-beom, our usual mood-maker, forced a smile and kept knocking back drinks.
"Ah, but anyway."
To change the vibe, I shifted the topic.
"That senior—his dad's in Hanyang, so why's he in Jeonju?"
"What else? The academy's here."
"Why the academy?"
"It happens sometimes, Captain."
So Ji-hu answered my question, drained his glass, and picked at some snacks. He closed his eyes as if savoring them, let out a sigh, then opened them to continue.
"Competition in Hanyang is too fierce, so people like the Minister of Justice with some wealth send their kids to provincial academies. Here, they can aim for top scorer."
Like downward mobility? Smart kids going to local national universities to snag the top spot and scholarships?
"Kuhuh, kuhhuh!"
That's when Jeong Hyeon-beom suddenly burst out laughing. So Ji-hu stared at him, his bear-like frame trembling.
"You bastard. You find this funny on a day like this?"
"Puhaha! Brother! That's exactly why! It's hilarious! Isn't it? Kuhahaha!"
Like poking a needle into a water balloon, Jeong Hyeon-beom couldn't hold back anymore and roared with laughter. Echoing through Cheong-un-dang, he looked at me with sparkling eyes.
"Si-jin, my man! How'd you even think of that?"
"Huh? Think of what?"
"Biting that guy's face! What kind of booze did you drink to come up with that?"
When he asked what I was thinking, there was only one answer.
"Well, they treated me like a dog, so I just acted like one."
"Kuhahahaha! Treated like a dog, so you actually became one!"
Jeong Hyeon-beom wasn't satisfied with just laughing—he slapped his knee repeatedly.
"Hey! Hyeon-beom! Cut it out!"
So Ji-hu watched, deeming it unseemly, but hid his upturned lips by pretending to sip his drink.
"How can you say such nonsense...!"
But he laughed too, didn't he? They both seemed to find my biting that bastard's face satisfying. I recalled the other trainees nearby struggling not to laugh, their mouths twitching. With the mood fired up, we chatted about the hazing. I committed to memory how the seniors had tormented them and their peers.
"Ex, excuse me."
As the boozy haze started settling in, a girl about Eun-ok's age approached.
"Th-the night is late. We've prepared bedding, so it might be best to retire to your rooms now."
Already? It wasn't even dawn yet, so I was a bit thrown.
"Hrm. Hrm. Let's call it a night."
"Haha, already?"
So Ji-hu and Jeong Hyeon-beom couldn't hide their grins. Seeing their twitching lips, I caught the implication. I'd heard they were married. For the sake of loyalty to my wife, I stepped up.
"You two go ahead and rest. I'll drink a bit more and head in later."
"Ahem! We'll take our leave, Captain."
"Kuhaha. Si-jin, see you in the morning."
They rose without a hint of hesitation. Even with close brothers, moments like this were hard to get used to.
"Ah, right. Hey, you there—um, could you..."
Suddenly remembering a favor, I called the girl back. She turned, puzzled, as she was guiding Jeong Hyeon-beom and So Ji-hu.
Best to record it while it's fresh.
"Could you bring some paper? Need to jot something down quick."
Ink and brushes were already in Cheong-un-dang—from when seniors used trainees' bodies as canvases.
"Yes, sir. Right away."
The girl bowed and left with Jeong Hyeon-beom and So Ji-hu. I quietly sipped until the writing tools arrived. Soon, she returned with stacks of paper.
"Here you are."
"Ah, yeah. Thanks. Just set it down here."
"Sir, shall I pour your drinks?"
"Nah, it's fine. Go on, get some sleep."
No hugging clients at that age. I sent the girl—still growing—off and began recording the day's events. Seniors riding trainees like horses, stripping them to draw on bare skin, forcing drinks till they passed out, leaving them in underwear. Damn, these bastards did a lot. My arm ached from nonstop writing of deeds and perpetrators. But not when it came to Park Seon-ryung—that flowed effortlessly, even more vigorously than usual. Insult to the Retired King and current king, unprovoked assault, human rights violation, insult... I ended with him turning to morning dew on the execution ground.
"Hm. Good."
I flipped through the pages. Handwriting was crap, but the content was plenty to doom those smug seniors. Hazing done, record made. All that was left was heading back to the lodging to sleep—not some gisaeng house room who-knows-who'd been in, but Hong's annex.
"Pardon the intrusion."
"?!"
I'd been too focused on writing to notice Cheong-yeon standing at the edge of the hall.
Hiding it hastily would look suspicious, so I played it cool.
"Wh-what? Why, Cheong-yeon?"
"Sorry to bother you when you're busy."
Cheong-yeon smiled softly and shared something unexpected.
"I got worried since you hadn't retired yet, so I came to check."
You? Worried about me? Why? Her coming to find me meant she'd been waiting in the room. Cheong-yeon, one of the successors to top gisaeng Cheong-wol of Cheong-un-gak. Even as an apprentice, she wasn't at the level to casually sleep around. Hard to believe she'd waited for me. Probably because I was a rising star officer. I'd heard of fathers pushing daughters as concubines, but this blatant lobbying was new. I barely kept my grimace in check and stated my refusal.
"Just go sleep. I'm heading out now."
"I see..."
She bowed, looking disappointed at my departure.
"Well then..."
Lifting her head, Cheong-yeon asked cautiously.
"Could I... draw a picture for Your Excellency?"
A picture? Fine, just the drawing, then send her off.
"Will it take long?"
"It'll be quick!"
Misinterpreting as permission, she hopped onto the floor excitedly.
"Whoa, wait. Hold on."
I hurriedly tucked the secret report into my bosom. Suspicious even to me.
"Nah, it's nothing. Just some doodles."
"Hehe. Understood."
Her face said she didn't buy it.
"I mean it, it's really nothing."
"Yes, Your Excellency."
Not believing me at all. With a playful smile, she sat demurely beside me. A sweet powder scent brushed my nose, so I edged away slightly. Wanted to stay loyal to Eori, and with liquor in me, better safe.
"Pardon me."
With practiced grace, Cheong-yeon took a brush and began drawing on white paper. Her slender hand revealed beak, wings, and more with each stroke.
"How's this? Not bad, right?"
Suddenly, a magpie perched on a branch was complete.
"Whoa...!"
Couldn't hold back admiration. With only black ink, she'd made it more vivid than life.
"My skills are still lacking."
For "lacking," she sure preened. Her upturned lips asked Well? Pretty good, huh? A bit cute. Just a bit.
"Ah, um, but..."
Her teenage girl side vanished quick. Donning her popular gisaeng mask, she asked carefully.
"What do you think of this magpie, Your Excellency?"
"Huh? It's well drawn?"
"Not that, sir."
Her small, delicate hand touched the spot beside the magpie. Stroking the empty space.
"Doesn't it look lonely, all by itself?"
You drew it—why ask me? So, if Your Excellency would draw its mate...
Flirting, plain as day.
"I can't draw."
"Anything from Your Excellency would be fine."
Really? I said I can't draw. You asked me to. I took the brush and drew my own magpie next to hers, ready to burst off the page. Scratch, scratch, swoosh—skinny legs, plump body, black wings, sharp beak. Prime magpie season. Not that magpies have seasons. But this ugly enough to bore her?
"Pfft! Ahahaha! Hahaha! H-how is that a magpie?!"
Dead wrong. She loved it, laughing out loud. Covering her mouth, giggling like any middle-schooler.
"Ahahaha! Even a chick wouldn't look like that! Ahahaha!"
Too pleased, against plan. Worse when she said she'd cut off and take my side.