The North Wind and the Sun
Even Suyang Daegun wouldn't have gone this far. At first, the bastard had no intention of spilling anything easily. It was only natural. This case was worlds apart from some street thug's murder. Killing a man meant at least hanging as punishment. And as a guard who murdered a prisoner in custody? That called for at least dismemberment. If someone had put him up to it, it could escalate to implicating his family and even death by a thousand cuts.
So we'd come up with this method. The so-called North Wind and Sun Persuasion.
"Mmph! Pffft, puhaaa! Haa! Haa! I-I really don't know anything!"
We dunked his face in water cold as the north wind.
"Aaaagh! Ack! Y-You bastards! Aaagh! Aaaack!"
Then showed him the sun's scorching taste of the club.
For the record, the ones swinging the clubs were the subordinates he'd beaten earlier with his baton. Karma's a bitch.
Not content with drugging them with spiked rice wash to knock them out, he'd used the chance to kill a prisoner in the jail cell and swung his club to throw off suspicion.
"You caught me good today!"
"Because of you! My ass! Still! Hurts! You little shit!"
"Kyaaak, ptui!"
The guards carrying out the order added their own grudges, but I'd told them to do just that, so I didn't say a word. I only reined them in lightly whenever things looked like they might go too far.
Even after our continued persuasion, the perp kept insisting on his innocence. His body might as well have been screaming guilt.
"You're not the culprit? Then what's that red mark on your hand?"
Th-this is! Sir Gapsa! Earlier, when I was teaching those guys a lesson—"
"You don't get marks like that just from gripping a club. Ah, right. That's the cut-off line."
"Wh-what's a cut-off line, sir?"
"Hey, someone bring me that guillotine over there. We'll cut along the line on his hand."
Even threatening to chop off his fingers didn't faze him. But he couldn't hold out against the truth.
We'd gotten testimony that he'd swapped the prisoners' dinner for rice wash yesterday, and bought a huge batch of insomnia meds from the apothecary in his neighborhood. We could've dug that up before the torture, but I was too pissed about him beating my own men senseless.
Th-that's right! I-I! I killed him!"
"Oh? Is that so? Your words are getting short."
I-I did it, sir! I'm the one who killed him, sir!"
"He admits it, Deputy Magistrate."
I gazed at the government office building from beside the shackled former guard kneeling in the courtyard, now a condemned man (for real).
Up on the main hall porch sat Jeong 3-pum Kim Pan-su, the Jeonju Bus a, perched on a chair. Despite his plump build, the dark circles under his eyes spoke of exhaustion as he let out a weary sigh.
"Of all the times, while I'm in office...!"
Just days after three matchlocks vanished from the capital, a guard murders a prisoner in jail. With one massive scandal after another, he looked buried in worry.
"Haa, fine. Lee Chamcho. You there."
With the tone of someone who had to do what had to be done, he pressed on with the interrogation.
"Did you truly kill the prisoner Kim Gap-su?"
"Y-yes, sir Bus a! Spare me, please!"
"Why did you kill him?"
Th-that is...!"
This Lee Chamcho guy couldn't even answer properly and kept glancing at me beside him. Only after gauging my reaction did he start babbling nonsense.
Th-the guy Kim Gap-su insulted my parents, so I lost my temper...!"
"Hey, Kim Gapsa."
The Jeonju Bus a signaled me.
"Yes, sir. I'll obey your command."
I smashed the back of the perp's head with all my strength.
Whack!
"You wanna die for real? You lost your temper and changed the dinner menu, lost your temper and bought sleeping pills, lost your temper and served drugged rice wash?"
A crime of passion wouldn't be this meticulously planned.
"Why not just say you unconsciously cheated on your wife or some shit?"
Th-that's...!"
"Just spit it out. You're dying anyway—might as well go easy."
Not the nicest thing to say to a bloodied, soaked, shivering mess, but this bastard wasn't human, so it was fine.
Y-yes, promise me!"
My persuasion worked. The perp looked up at the Jeonju Bus a with trembling body but resolute eyes.
"I-I'll tell everything! S-so please! Spare me! I don't want to die! I didn't kill him because I wanted to!"
"Hmm? You didn't kill him because you wanted to? Did someone order you?"
"Y-yes! That's right, sir! I didn't want to either! B-but they said if I didn't, they wouldn't leave me or my family alone...!"
Once his mouth opened, it was like a dam bursting.
"I-I'll tell everything! Promise me! My family—no! Do whatever to me! But my innocent wife and kids! Promise you'll protect them no matter what!"
So there was something. Yesterday he tried bribing to spring the guy; today he faked a secret murder. Whatever it was, it tied into some big mess.
"Oh ho, is that so?"
For the first time, life sparked in the Jeonju Bus a's eyes. He licked his lips like a predator, grinning as he brought up the hottest topic lately.
"Is this connected to those matchlocks that vanished from Choi the rich man's house recently?"
"Yes, sir! So promise me!"
"Heh heh...!"
The Jeonju Bus a clenched his fist and slammed it on the chair arm. Leaning forward toward the courtyard like he couldn't stand it anymore, he asked,
"If I promise, you'll really spill everything on those bastards?"
"Y-yes! Of course, sir! It involves my family!"
"Very well. I promise."
Really? Too easy? I wasn't the only one who thought so—I just nodded along.
The perp couldn't accept it easily either, yelling in a quivering voice,
"Br-bring my family here! I need to see they're safe with my own eyes before I talk!"
"Fine! We'll fetch your family right now!"
Th-thank you, sir! Th-they should all be at my house! Please, I beg you!"
Once family came up, things moved fast. The Jeonju Bus a immediately ordered the perp's wife and kids brought in, and under heavy guard, the perp was transferred back to jail.
Was my part done now? I'd only been tasked with ID'ing the victim in the first place.
"Deputy Magistrate, sir. I'll take my leave."
I approached the Jeonju Bus a, still seated on the main hall porch, and bowed.
"Listen, Kim Gapsa."
But he didn't say goodbye or anything.
"I didn't believe in you."
Out of nowhere, from his chair.
"No, I didn't believe the rumors about you. I thought your tales were all exaggerations, but seeing your performance today shames me."
What? What's this uneasy feeling?
"You've heard about it, surely. The three matchlocks stolen from Jeonju's capital."
No. Ah. Wait a sec.
"I hold your skills and wits in high regard. Thus, I appoint you temporary Byeoljang. Lend your strength to recovering those matchlocks."
Why is my gut never wrong about these bad vibes? What the hell did I even do? What makes this guy so desperate to dump this on me?
"I'm sorry, sir."
No need to think it over. I bowed and refused outright.
"The Byeoljang post is beyond my capabilities. I'm worried I'd just hinder the search if I took it rashly."
"Heh heh. If even you say it's beyond you, who here qualifies? And don't worry—it's not a formal Byeoljang post, just temporary."
Same difference, you old fart. I just don't wanna.
"Sorry, sir. Please withdraw the request."
"Hmm? What are you saying?"
"I'm far too lacking for Byeoljang."
"Heh heh. Our Kim Byeoljang must be mistaken about something."
He'd already slapped the title on me without my agreement.
Forcing the promotion, he grinned slyly and said,
"This isn't a request. It's an order from Jeonju Bus a Kim Pan-su to idle Gapsa Kim Si-jin."
Ah, come on. Please.
"Hey! Equip this Kim Si-jin, Search Byeoljang, with gear!"
"Understood! Sir Bus a!"
From the six guards behind the Jeonju Bus a, Hyeong-bang leaped forward like he'd been waiting.
He approached me, face flushed with excitement, and said,
"This way, sir Byeoljang!"
"Ah, no, wait a minute."
I couldn't accept reality and listed reasons why it wouldn't work to the Jeonju Bus a.
"I'm about to enter the academy, so I can't just follow orders willy-nilly."
"No need to worry. I'll handle it with the academy."
"The opponents are matchlock thieves, and all I've got are a sword and bow."
"We'll supply gear here. I'll even lend you a pistol and matchlock while you're Byeoljang."
"But my abilities are lacking."
"Hey! Will you follow Hyeong-bang or not?!"
No! I don't want to! I just don't wanna!
I wanted to throw a tantrum and scream I hated it, but I had no choice but to get dragged off by Hyeong-bang.
"Heh heh heh. Congratulations, sir Byeoljang."
The root of this mess led the way to the office warehouse.
If this bastard had just done his job right. If he hadn't tried passing it off as suicide out of laziness. If he hadn't dumped it on me. None of this would've happened...!
Aaah, I don't wanna. Haven't even started, but I know I'd end up working hard if I did, which makes me hate it more.
"Whoa!"
Hyeong-bang, walking ahead, bumped into guards rushing around the corner. Not hard—just enough to stop in his tracks.
"Hey! You idiots! Watch where you're going!"
"Aigoo, sorry, sir."
"...Our apologies, sir."
The two guards bowed to the scolding Hyeong-bang. When they looked up, the burly one stared at me.
What the?
My first thought meeting those bulging eyes was confusion.
What's with this guy?
He quickly averted his gaze. But in that brief moment, his face burned into my mind: bulging eyes, thick caterpillar eyebrows like black grubs, a hooked beak of a nose, tightly pressed lips.
His sharp features and the aura he gave off put me on edge.
Even Suyang Daegun wouldn't have been like this. He at least tried to hide his madness.
But this guard? Not even a little. Just looking at him made me swallow dryly from the sheer, piercing insanity radiating off him.
"Sir Byeoljang? What's wrong?"
Stunned by the chilling first impression, I'd stood frozen as the guards passed. Only when Hyeong-bang called did I snap out of it and look back.
They were already gone.
"Hy-Hyeong-bang sir."
"Just call me Hyeong-bang. Even temporary, Byeoljang outranks—"
"Those guys who just passed. Know them? Ever seen them before?"
"Hmm. Come to think of it, they seem new. Maybe from the Jeolla Inspectorate."
Too sharp an aura for regular guards from elsewhere.
"That way they came from. What’s down that path?"
"The jail."
The jail? The jail means...!
"Lock the office gates now! Right now!"
I bolted toward where the guards had come from, leaving those words behind.
As Hyeong-bang said, the jail was right there, with other guards milling about in chaos.
"Outta the way! Move! I said move!"
I shoved through into the jail.
I rushed to the cell holding this case's perp, but
"Gack, cough! Kugh, grrrgh...!"
He was convulsing on the floor, foaming at the mouth.
"Hey! Hey! Snap out of it! Hey!"
I dashed through the open cell door to the perp.
"What the fuck's wrong with this bastard!"
I yelled at the guards already inside.
They looked as panicked as me, faces lost.
"D-don't know, sir! He was talking to some other guys briefly, then suddenly...!"
"Who the hell were they!"
"Th-they said Jeolla Inspectorate. Th-their, na-names...!"
"Fuck! Seriously! Hey!"
Putting the details aside for now, I grabbed the convulsing perp on the floor.
"Hey! Wake up! Hey! Who was it! Who did this!"
Even dying, the perp tried to speak.
"N-n-nose...!"
"What? Nose?"
"N-n-nose, k-kong, turn oooon...!"
Kong Jinho? Bean powder? Gonggyeong? With foam filling his mouth and convulsing, I couldn't make it out.
"Kong? You mean kong?"
"N-nong, turn oooon...!"
He shook his head weakly, so he seemed to know it wasn't kong. But that was it.
"Kuh, kuh! Guh-heh-hehk, cough."
The sound of desperately sucking air through the foam was his last words.
The perp's head slumped, no more convulsions, no more breath.
"...Ha!"
In the heavy silence, a hollow laugh escaped.
"Ha, what the actual fuck."
It was so absurd my legs gave out and I slumped to the floor.
That crazy bastard. Desperate to show his true colors.
Thanks to him, I suddenly felt like taking the Byeoljang job.