Waaah! I'm Not a Porter!
Riiing, riiing.
"Yes, this is Seo Cheongyeon of the Awakener Management Association, Response Team 3."
"Ah! Good morning-dayo. Are you busy right now-dayo?"
Ah. That child… no. It was Mr. Yoo Ai.
"One moment, please."
She slipped out from behind her partition and glanced around.
Beep-beep.
"Yes, Awakener Management Association…"
"Sangyeon~ copy these for me, would you?"
The office had that loose, languid feel that settled in after lunch. Luckily, the desk beside hers was empty. She pulled her chair tight against the partition and dropped her voice.
"I'm not busy. Is something the matter?"
"Your voice got smaller-dayo! Hang on, switching to speaker-dayo."
Clatter, crash.
Just switching to speakerphone, and already there was a whole commotion on the other end. Yesterday's image of him floated up, and something warm and fluffy bloomed in her chest.
Had he called to ask her out to eat? Weekdays would be tricky, but the weekend might work…
"So, um, dayo? I got this thing called a Gate Adaptation Training notice, and I had some questions, so I called-dayo."
Oh, for heaven's sake.
She pressed her fingers hard against her eyelids and massaged them.
What on earth are you thinking, Cheongyeon.
"I… I see. What were you wondering about?"
"Is there anything I should get ready before the adaptation training-dayo? Stuff to watch out for, or things it'd be good to know? I want to prepare ahead of time-dayo."
"Since it's a training program, everything you need will be provided. Just don't forget your ID and don't be late… could you hold on a moment?"
"Got it-dayo!"
Something had snagged in her mind. It might actually help him.
Tap-tap-tap.
She pulled up the upcoming adaptation training roster and searched. The trainee list hung right beneath the instructor lineup.
[ A-Rank Tanker, Supporter — Yoo Ai ]Porter
[ A-Rank Mage — Seo Rina ]Backline
…
…
"Ah…"
"Oh?! There's something, isn't there-dayo?"
There was, all right. Telling him would just be a violation of regulations.
In the adaptation training, they deliberately assigned promising rookies the porter role and ran them ragged — a kind of initiation rite. A miraculous hazing that had raised party survival rates by seven percent. A rule written in blood, designed so that people who became the ruling class the moment they entered society would learn what life looked like at the bottom.
If only he hadn't been assigned as a porter, she could have helped him around the edges.
Should I tell him? I wouldn't get caught, but Association regulations…
Ugh… I don't know.
"…The instructors are really wonderful people, so you'll come out ahead if you try to learn even one extra thing while you're there."
That much should be fine, right? It was the truth.
"Ehhh? What-dayo. Just now there was definitely something, wasn't there-dayo?"
He poked and prodded. She was keeping her conscience clean — so why did her conscience hurt so much?
Even if you say that, I still can't help you.
"And before you go, you might want to browse the Awakener Gallery. There are a lot of useful tips."
"Unghuhu-dayo! In that case this one is a Grand Emperor Oldfag who's mastered every recommended post on AwakenerGal, so no problem-dayo!"
Ah, she'd gone and said it again. A laugh slipped out at how confidently he answered.
They purged the recommended posts periodically, but stories still popped up often enough. It should be fine.
"That's a relief. Was there anything else you wanted to ask?"
"Not anymore-dayo! Ah! We should grab a meal sometime-dayo!"
"When shall we eat?"
"Eh? W-we're deciding right now-dayo?"
"Training is Thursday, so how about this weekend? I actually have some advice I'd like to give you anyway."
"Th-then Saturday is good-dayo."
"Then I'll see you then."
"Have a nice day-dayo~"
Click.
Mission accomplished.
"Hoo—"
"Boy~friend?"
"Hyaaack!"
Clatter. She barely caught the phone before it hit the floor. A puff of breath right against her ear sent goosebumps racing down her neck.
"You were dripping so much honey I thought it was someone else. Is that actually a boyfriend? What's gotten into our ice-wall cool beauty?"
A red head had poked itself over from the next desk, grinning.
"Hey, Kang Yumi. I told you to make some noise when you walk around."
"Ohoho, look at this? She's not even denying it?"
"It's not like that. He's more like a little brother."
"Ahaaa~ like a little brother? Well, a little brother can be a guy and a boyfriend too, right? At our age, who even cares."
His back was pretty manly, though. He's an adult, so it should be fine… right?
Slap.
"Oh my god, you—!"
"I just ate. I'm sleepy."
Get a grip. What was she even thinking.
This was the SNS era, where people threw stones over the tiniest slip. What kind of nightmare did she want to walk into. Even if they went on a date, people would see a nephew, not a couple. If they so much as showed affection in public, it would be a funeral.
A relationship where you just looked at him and cooed over how cute he was — that was the proper amount.
They could just meet at home, couldn't they?
"No, I think I've actually lost it."
"Huh…? Sorry?"
"No. Forget it. Just do your work."
"Hieeek, what is this-dayo. Why isn't there a shuttle bus-dayo…"
Trudge, trudge. Clink, clink. The coins in his shorts jingled with every step.
Reserve army training at least gave you a shuttle. A gate jammed into some mountain hollow didn't even have that.
How the hell are pedestrian Awakeners supposed to get here?!
No wifi, so he couldn't even read web novels or check the gallery. Nothing to look at but trees and an unpaved road. His body was fine, but his soul was withering away…
"Still, I made it-dayo."
He'd somehow gotten here on a map app with the route punched in ahead of time. In the distance he could see a warped rift hanging in midair, and trainees and old folks scattered around taking a rest.
"I'm here-dayo~"
He waved, delighted — and a grandpa with a sword and a grandma with a staff shot to their feet.
"Eh? Why's a little 'un comin' from over yonder?"
"Child, this is a dangerous place. You need to turn around and go home."
"Aigoo, hyung-nim, noona, take a look at that tablet, would ya. That little 'un ain't just some kid. That's the one they're makin' a porter."
"What kinda porter you assignin' to a baby like that? Ain't that a mistake? Lookin' at how those Association folks do things, I can't trust 'em one bit."
"Lord, it's enough to drive a man crazy. That's 'cause he Awakened, I keep tellin' ya. He's a grown adult, even."
"But is that one a boy or a girl?"
"They say he's a boy, but I'll be darned if he don't look just like a girl."
The old folks started tossing it back and forth, and in no time it had turned into a full senior-center gossip session.
Good grief, the chatter won't stop. Better get over there fast.
The other trainees had been watching with exhausted eyes; all but one of them stood up and came over.
"Hello. I'm Cho Sangwoo, supporter. Pleasure to work with you."
"Hello-dayo. I'm Yoo Ai-dayo."
He smiled warmly and offered a handshake — then his face twisted into something bizarre.
"Th-this is because of the Awakening, I can't help it-dayo. Please understand-dayo."
"Ah, I've heard there are people like that. Let's do well together today."
"Please take care of me as well. I'm Lee Gangsan, tanker."
"Please take care of me too-dayo!"
One by one they came up, shaking hands all around and sharing smiles.
Holy crap. This was insanely friendly.
The recommended posts and oldfags on AwakenerGal made it sound like they'd eat you alive. As expected, you can't trust a gallery for anything. You have to meet people in person!
He waved at the woman getting up in the distance too. A cheerful hello, then all together, gogogo into the gate!
"A bunch of retards sucking each other off. If you're a porter, act like a porter and get here already. You know how many people waited because of you?"
…Or not.
Everyone around them went pale.
"Cra—"
"If you don't have a car, leave thirty minutes early. Talking like a retard and advertising you're a broke-ass little shit on top of it."
"You crazy bitch-dayo! That crossed the line-dayo!"
"What, you little sh—"
I seriously want to Barbarian-smash her face in!
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Calm down, calm down!"
Lee Gangsan, white as a sheet, jumped in and stood between them.
"Heheheh~ Youth, ain't it. Today's gonna be a fun one."
"Reckon hyung-nim and I were just like that when we were young, too."
Hey, grandpas. This is when you're supposed to take control…
"$%#%!@#"
In the end, Mr. Gangsan took the whole blast.
"Guess she doesn't know who that is?"
"Two model students, huh."
"What's a model student-dayo?"
"It's nothing. Haha~"
Grin, grin. He didn't know what it meant, but laughing along made him happy.
Clap—!
A wave of mana rolled out and shoved all the surrounding noise clean away.
Ohh. This is something…
Once every eye was on him, the grandpa who'd clapped stepped forward.
"That's enough scrapin' and wrasslin'. Gather 'round now. Introducin' myself — D-Rank supporter, Kang Donggu."
He tapped his chest, then pointed to the instructors in turn.
"That hyung-nim over yonder is C-Rank swordsman Lee Seokhyeon, and this noona here is D-Rank mage Jeong Sujin. Those two don't care for talkin' much, so I'll be handlin' the teachin' from here on. Pleasure to work with y'all~"
"Pleasure to work with you-dayo~"
"We look forward to working with you."
"Hmph…"
Did that one learn home manners from a fantasy novel.
He was zoning out through the rest of the briefing when the grandma who'd been quiet gestured him over.
Pat-pat-pat.
"Did you call me-dayo?"
"Child. You see that luggage over there?"
He followed her hand — and it wasn't a joke. The pack was bigger than his entire body.
That? Me?
He looked at her with those eyes, but Grandma just spoke on, gentle and unhurried.
"You're a porter, child, so you don't need to sit through the briefing like the others. Today you just hoist that pack and stick close so you don't fall behind. No need to fight any monsters — don't worry about anything except salvage and odd jobs."
"What?"
She said it like it was the easiest thing in the world, and somehow that stung.
"I-I'm a trainee too-dayo. They definitely told me to come here and train-dayo…"
"You're a porter trainee, aren't you. We'll be heading out soon, so hurry and get that on."
Tears sprang to his eyes all at once.
"Aigoo, look at you, all hurt. It's all right. It's only like this at first. You'll get used to it."
A wrinkled hand wiped the corners of his eyes.
He was grateful, and also not grateful at all.
I don't even want to get used to this. I'm not a porter. I'm really not.
"Th-this is definitely some kind of mistake-dayo. I definitely got A-Rank-dayo. I-I've got it, I've got it right here-dayo!"
A system error. An administrative mix-up. It had to be.
He tried to open his wallet with trembling hands, but a gnarled hand snatched it and stuffed it back.
"Aigoo, noona, you gone and made the kid cry in that little bit of time. Come on now, we'll be done in a jiffy, so hoist that pack and get over here, yeah? And take them coins out for now. They start jinglin', the monsters'll come runnin' in a panic."
"How long are you going to stand there holding that retard's hand?! God, you really are C-Rank old farts. Stop wasting time and let's go already."
A cold silence dropped over them again.
That little—! I want to say something.
But the moment he thought of himself as the porter, he couldn't make a sound.
"Aigoo, this young lady's got a temper and a half. Let's get goin'~ You too, little 'un, hurry on in."
"Hweeeeng~ this is all wrong-dayo."
In the end he was herded along, pack on his back, into the gate.
"Still, he's a little kid. Shouldn't we go easy? What's the plan if he starts bawlin' his eyes out."
"Back in our day, did the monsters go easy 'cause you were a baby? Leave him be. Kids these days are sharp — they figure it all out comin' in. Fresh and interestin', I like it."
It hurt the heart, but it was a necessary process.
…And the cute kid had such good reactions, it was fun too. They'd done their duty. If they wanted a little fun in their twilight years, who was going to complain.
"That girl's got a wife's temper on her. Tsk tsk."
Thwack.
"Urk!"
"Get inside already."
