Totally By Mistake: 'Church Sister Blackmail Discipline' (7)
Ding—!Ding—!Ding—! The bell announcing the end of Sunday mass rang out.
Murmurs rose up.
“Oh my, oh my, Sister Lapis. This week's mass was wonderful too. How can you have such a pretty face and preach so well~?”
“Ahahaha! Thank you! Mrs. Marca. Then, see you next week, Mr. Finken!”
Whoosh—!Whoosh—! Lapis's face looked as serene as ever while exchanging greetings with the parishioners, but... one by one, two by two, three by three—actually, every time a parishioner stepped out the church doors, Lapis's fingers fidgeted restlessly inside her habit.
“Ah! Sister! I received the holy book. And like I mentioned before, my eldest is about to give birth soon. If it's not too much trouble, could you perhaps offer a prayer beforehand...”
“Yes, yes! Mr. Belik! Got it! I'll check my schedule within three days and get back to you!! Take care on your way! May the Goddess's blessings be with you!”
“Uh... uh? Thank you?”
The usual Lapis would have latched onto the news of the birth, grilling them with questions for ages, but...
'Sorryyy!! Mr. Belik! But please, just this once, hurry!! What if Rian shows up like this!!'
Today of all days, Lapis had no spare attention for the other parishioners.
“...Sister, are you okay? Your face looks really red...”
“I'm fine!! It's just hot today!! Yeah, hot!! Ahahaha!”
“Well, if you say so...”
“Yes, yes, yes! I'm totally fine, so see you next week!!”
Nods, nods—! Lapis bobbed her head frantically, practically shoving the last parishioner out the door with her back.
And the moment every last one vanished beyond the church doors—
Creeeak—!Bam—!!
“Huaaah...!”
Lapis leaned against the wall after slamming the church doors shut and let out a long breath. Her heart pounded wildly. Thump—!Thump—!Thump—! Rian hadn't even arrived yet, but her heart was racing like mad.
'Hoo...! Hoo...! A-alright! Mass ended without a hitch... Now, before Rian gets here, one last check!'
Of course, she'd woken at 4 a.m. and checked her body state multiple times already...
But preparing for any possible mishap was only natural!
Slide— Lapis slightly loosened the collar of her habit, her gaze drifting downward. Glance—
The lace underwear she'd tried on for the first time in her life was way smaller than she'd imagined.
'Eek...! Th-this is supposed to be enough!! Enough my ass...! It's too small!! ...Aghhh... seriously!'
Twitch—!Twitch—! Her areolae were bulging out over the edges of the underwear the whole mass, and she'd been so distracted by her chest that she thought she'd die.
Ah, it wasn't that Lapis's areolae were big—no, it was totally the underwear's fault for being too tiny!!
“Haa... At least the underwear checks out...”
Squeeze— As she straightened her habit, Lapis brought her wrist to her nose. Sniff—Sniff—!
'Sniff sniff... Perfume's fine too!'
It was a pretty pricey perfume by Lapis's standards—worth every penny? The scent from what she'd applied at dawn still lingered nicely.
'...I didn't overdo it, did I?'
Lapis alternated sniffing both wrists.
She'd never dolled herself up like this before, so she had no clue what she was doing.
'...Ahh... Better than smelling bad, at least... Okay then...'
Squeeze— Finally, Lapis slipped her hand under her habit to grab her belly. A slight softness, but nowhere near enough to call it 'belly fat.'
'Y-yeah, skipping breakfast was the right call!!'
One skipped meal wasn't going to change her figure that much...
It might seem like needless worrying, but from Lapis's perspective, she couldn't not obsess!
'Alright, next up...?'
What else was there? Lapis counted on her fingers, racking her brain. Underwear—check. Perfume—check. Belly fat—check. Bad breath—check.
'...Brushed three times, but maybe chew a mint leaf just in case? ...Aaaah!!! Wait, I forgot to shave again this morning!'
Lift— Lapis peeked at her calves by slightly hiking up the hem of her habit.
'N-no way... n-nothing popped up, right?'
She naturally had almost no body hair below her face, so she'd never needed to shave anyway... but smooth— smooth— thanks to her diligent shaving the day before yesterday, her legs were flawlessly silky, not a single peach fuzz in sight.
'Phew... This should be...'
Lapis lowered her habit and nodded.
'Perfect. Rian won't even dream it's my first time, huh? Hehe, this is the charm of an older woman...'
Freeze— Her thoughts hit that point, and Lapis stiffened.
'W-wait a sec... Rian thinking... that I'm... not his first...?'
Lapis bit her lower lip anxiously. She definitely didn't want to look like a total newbie to Rian. After all, in Church Sister Blackmail Discipline, when Eugene first took Yuris to the confessional, hadn't he mocked her for fumbling around cluelessly?
No way was she letting her little bro laugh at his big sis!
But...
'St-still... him thinking I've been with someone else... feels way worse...?'
Shift— Lapis's eyes darted wildly.
Too caught up in her 'worries' to think of it before. Wanting to seem experienced meant... she'd been with some other guy besides Rian!
'N-no, that's not...? I... I haven't... ever...? But... if Rian thinks of me... like that...?'
Crunch— crunch—
Lapis gnawed at her nails. Just imagining it twisted her guts.
All she wanted was for Rian not to see her as some clueless innocent...
She absolutely didn't want him thinking she was 'not a virgin'!
'S-so...! Act like a first-timer who's not a first-timer... No, make it so my first time isn't embarrassing... Aghh! What am I even saying!!'
Shake— shake— The more she thought, the more tangled her mind got.
'...S-so... what would Yuris do?'
In the end, Lapis turned to Church Sister Blackmail Discipline again. What choice did she have? Among all the sex-related stuff she'd read, besides the church's official How? Sex and Puberty, it was the only other one!
'No way am I using How? Sex and Puberty...!! So, Yuris was a first-timer too, but... h-how did she...?'
She rummaged through her memories, but nothing useful came up. Yuris had Eugene leading her every step of the way, after all.
Yuris just had to surrender her body, and that was enough.
'...Well, it's a novel, so of course.'
Lapis pursed her lips as she recalled the content.
'A-and... I'm not like Yuris. My body's not that, uh, lewd!!'
Because when she'd made that rubbing copy, she hadn't crossed the 'line'!
When painting her nipples with the brush made her vision go white...
She'd stopped with superhuman willpower!!
If it had been novel-Yuris in that situation? No way she'd have stopped.
'Hehe... so that means I'm less lewd than Yuris.'
Squeeze— Lapis clenched her fist triumphantly.
'And! ...M-my areolae are smaller too!'
Zing—!! Thinking of her areolae reignited her anger.
“Thinking about it pisses me off again...! Unforgivable! Nakadashi!”
She'd even sent the rubbing copy as proof! No reply from Nakadashi, not even word that Church Sister Blackmail Discipline had been revised. No, Lapis hadn't gone looking on purpose!
At the market, the fruit vendor auntie: “Sister read Church Sister too? Lately my husband's been kneeling and...”
Hanging laundry, the neighbor lady over the fence: “Got a question? Like when Rian had Yuris do it in the confessional...”
These days, Church Sister Blackmail Discipline talk was everywhere—she couldn't not hear it!
Twitch—!
—How can someone's areolae be two gold coins big?
Especially parishioners pretending to pray while side-eyeing the confessional—that pissed her off most!
“...Eek!! I sent proof like they asked! The rubbing copy too!! Not revising it? Just you wait! Seriously!”
As Lapis ground her teeth, burning with grudge against Nakadashi—
Glance— She checked the time and pouted.
'...But why's Rian so late?'
He hadn't promised an exact time. Just 'consultation on Sunday,' no specifics.
But mass had ended over 30 minutes ago. In a few hours, the kids would come knocking for dinner!
'Eek...! Then we won't have enough time for c-consultation!'
Tap— tap— tap— Lapis's toes impatiently drummed the floor.
Pacing before the church doors, peeking out the window for thirty minutes.
Clop— clop—!
“H-he's, he's here—!!”
A carriage approaching the church crested the hill.
Run out? No, can't. Rushing out would blow her cover of 'just casually waiting all day for consultation.'
'C-calmly...! Act calm!! ...I was... just... cleaning the church... and happened... to step out! Ahem!'
Lapis cleared her throat and opened the church doors, stepping into the yard.
Step— step— As natural and relaxed as possible. Like she just happened to be outside...
Step— step— Dash—!!
'Aghh! Screw it!'
In the end, instinct won, and Lapis bolted out.