Registered as an Anomaly Investigator
Is the world seriously losing its mind?
“I’ve been… registered as an Anomaly Investigator?”
I stared blankly at the crude white text floating in the center of my screen.
Honestly, I half suspected I was dreaming. After pulling an all-nighter, maybe I’d dozed off without realizing it—but even when I scrubbed at my eyes, the text refused to disappear.
[If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask.]
“No, of course I have questions. A shitload of them. I just don’t know what to ask.”
Muttering like an idiot, I picked up my phone and started typing into the chat.
The moment I sent the message, a loading bar flickered up as if the AI were processing it, and then the answers began streaming in below.
[Welcome, Investigator. I am your dedicated assistant, here to support your anomaly reporting and use of the Shop.]
[Your mission is to search out the anomalies that appear in the world and report them via this chat.]
[You may describe them in words, or upload photographs.]
So what it’s telling me is: if something weird happens, like earlier, I’m supposed to report it here?
Listening to it, I was reminded of that exit game streamers used to play on their broadcasts all the time. As I recalled, the rule was that if something differed from the ordinary, you went back; if everything was the same, you moved forward. So basically, I’m supposed to report any oddities that break from the everyday—the same idea, except in real life?
What kind of bullshit is this? A hidden camera prank? No—even setting that aside, Kwon Yuri’s sudden attitude change makes way too little sense for that explanation.
I thought back to the bizarre scene from a few minutes ago: Kwon Yuri making those nasal, cooing sounds as she stroked my head. The same snobby witch who normally looked at me like I was a bug had suddenly turned sweet on me. And there hadn’t been a trace of awkwardness in it, nothing that felt forced. If Kwon Yuri were secretly some acting prodigy capable of a flawless method performance, maybe—but in all the time we’d worked together, I’d never seen a hint of that. It was closer to genuine, natural affection. Like she actually liked me.
This is insane…. So the anomaly thing, whatever it is, is actually real?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I moved my fingers to the chat window.
I’d been about to type casually, the way I had before, but I suddenly got scared and hastily switched to polite language. The response came back scalpel-sharp the instant I hit send.
[I am part of the System that collects and manages the anomalies occurring sporadically across this world.]
[Your task, Investigator, is to report the anomalies of distorted common sense you discover in daily life to me in exchange for Points.]
Points? Anomalies? A System?
Some part of me grasped what those words meant intuitively, but thrown out in this context they were a flood of jargon that told me nothing concrete. Racking my memory of the countless games I’d played, I guess this was some kind of weird scavenger hunt—except why the hell was it happening in reality?
Too rattled to bother with politeness, I typed whatever popped into my head, and the reply came back immediately.
[Points can be used to purchase special items from the Shop, or to activate control abilities that allow you to intervene with specific anomaly instances.]
“Items? Control abilities?”
The moment I asked what that meant, the app began spitting out messages mechanically.
Anomaly Eraser (15P) — Permanently removes an uncovered anomaly, restoring everyday normalcy.
Anomaly Controller (20P) — Grants complete control over the perception and behavior of any individual affected by an uncovered anomaly. (Maintenance cost: 1P per individual, per day)
“Ha… fucking hell. What even is this.”
I ended up letting out a hollow laugh and just closed the app, shoving the blacked-out phone roughly into my pants pocket.
The world had gone off the rails, and women who wouldn’t have given me a second glance were now throwing themselves at me as if I’d become some handsome model. I was supposed to report all that to a smartphone app for Points, then use those Points either to erase the anomalies—or to control the women caught up in them, however I pleased?
What is this, an eroge? I must have genuinely melted my brain working night shifts.
I was clutching my dizzy head, straining to deny reality, when—
— Creak.
The door to the supply storeroom at the back of the store swung open, and Yuri walked out, now dressed in her uniform.
“Huh? Oppa, you haven’t left yet?”
Normally, her first move would have been to inspect things with that strict, snippy edge of hers—was the closing register balanced, were the trash bins emptied. But the Kwon Yuri approaching me now was a completely different person. Her tight-fitting uniform was mysteriously disheveled, the mussed fabric slyly betraying the curves beneath. Her legs, exposed below the short skirt, were knocked slightly inward, twisted around each other as though aching with want. And above all, what caught my eye was the faint flush spreading across her face and the slightly ragged breathing, as if she were begging for pleasure. What the hell—did something happen while she was changing in there?
“Ah, yes. Just finished the register balancing…. I have to double-check it before I go.”
“I could check it later. You never make mistakes with that stuff, Oppa.”
“That’s true, but still….”
Instinctively, I backed away until I was pressed against the end of the counter. But Yuri tracked my movement, sliding right up beside me behind the narrow counter. Her sickly-sweet perfume washed over me all at once.
“Hey, Oppa.”
“Y-yes? What is it?”
“You know how you covered my weekend shift for me a while back? I really wanted to thank you for that.”
She looked me dead in the eyes, the corners of her mouth curling up into a seductive smile. How long had it been since anyone thanked me for covering a shift? No—actually, this was the first time. Ever. From Kwon Yuri, of all people. Whenever I covered for her, she’d transfer the pay and send exactly one message—“Thanks for your work”—and then go radio silent, ice cold, not so much as an emoji.
“Well… I got paid for it, so it was just work. Don’t worry about it.”
“Aww, come on. If it weren’t for you, Oppa, things would’ve been a disaster. Let me buy you a meal sometime! Okay?”
“Huh? No, really, it’s fine….”
“I know a really good place! We have to go together sometime, Oppa.”
Yuri brushed off my refusal and took another step closer.
Fine—honestly, some gratitude I could understand. If someone covered your shift and you didn’t even thank them, that would make you a rude, insufferable person. But dragging up a debt she’d already settled in full, weeks ago, and suddenly offering to buy me dinner over it? There was no explanation for that except that I’d somehow become likable overnight. Which meant that anomaly thing—whatever the hell it was—was actually real?
“Uh, let me think about that later. I really need to clock out. See you!”
“Huh? Huh…. Wait a sec….”
Mumbling excuses, I hurried to slip out from behind the counter. But my nerves must have gotten the better of me, because my legs tangled under me—and in that instant, my whole body lurched toward Yuri.
— Soft thud.
“Ah!”
“Wha—?!”
My hand, flailing to catch my balance, landed with a slap on something heavy and impossibly soft. No—“landed” didn’t cover it. My entire palm was wrapped dead center around Yuri’s generous chest.
The plush, feverish warmth bleeding through her thin knit top. The elastic weight that filled my fingers with no gap left to spare. I froze, exactly as I was.
Ah, fuck. I’m dead.
That was the first thought in my brain, which had gone blindingly white. This was sexual assault, wasn’t it? Cut and dried. Police station, settlement money, fired from the job. A panorama of ruinous scenarios my anemic bank balance could never survive flickered before my eyes.
“I—I’m so sorry! I lost my footing, I didn’t—!”
Ghost-pale, I yanked my hand away and stumbled backward. If I wanted to survive this, apologizing fast and hard was the only play. I bowed at a full ninety degrees, practically ready to drop to my knees and beg. But the expression on Kwon Yuri’s face was nothing—nothing—like what I’d braced for.
“Ah, uhh…. I-it’s okay.”
“…What?”
She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t screaming. Instead, she was cupping her freshly kneaded breast with both hands, treasuring it, in a voice that sounded suspiciously pleased.
“Yu-Yuri…?”
“Oppa… when you touch me, it feels so… strange…♥”
She gazed up at me, her face burning scarlet. Her eyes swam with naked lust, and her breathing had turned noticeably ragged. She leaned back against the counter outright, her thighs twisting together as she arched her hips ever so slightly in my direction.
This was—that was a woman openly seducing a man she had the hots for. So blatant that even a guy with zero experience like me couldn’t mistake it for anything else.
If that’s really true….
The thought flashed through my mind. If the app was telling the truth—if the anomaly had made Kwon Yuri unconditionally infatuated with me—then even if I pushed things further, right here, she wouldn’t back off. And this wasn’t mere fondness, either. One look at her and it was obvious: the girl was straight-up in heat. It was an insane thought, honestly. But with a to-hell-with-it shrug, I decided to test my luck.
“U-um, Yuri. Calm down, okay? We’ve got to do the shift change.”
“Ah, yes…. Sorry. I just couldn’t get a grip on myself….”
“Come to think of it, there’s something I need to pull from the storeroom. Could you give me a hand for a minute, Yuri?”
“Huh? In the storeroom?”
“Yeah. I think we should lock the store door for a bit while we do it.”
At my words, Kwon Yuri’s eyes went round as saucers for a heartbeat.