I Became an Alpha Male. Just Me.
I Became an Alpha Male. Just Me.
One day, right before the Christmas holidays.
I got soundly rejected on a blind date I had built up the courage to go on.
"I'm sorry. Daegeun-ssi, you seem like a nice person, but I don't think we're a good match."
"Sejeong-ssi..."
There was no real reason to ask why.
Of all times, the automated voice from the counter loudly announced, 'Your balance is insufficient' when I handed over my debit card, and she heard the whole thing.
Ah, crap.
Of all things, I had bought a set of slacks and a shirt to prepare for this blind date, and of all times, my debit card balance must have hit rock bottom right then.
If I at least had a credit card at a time like this, I could have salvaged the situation somehow.
Six months ago, thinking 'How can I do credit transactions when I haven't even paid off my debts?', I had canceled every single one.
Fuck.
In the end, I withdrew money from my overdraft account to pay and walked out, but the blind date girl's face had already turned as cold as the winter weather.
Asking for a second date? Bullshit.
Just like that, we exchanged goodbyes and parted ways, but I could hear her voice on the phone from behind me.
"Hey! You! Let's talk later, okay? What? Who cares if his face looks handsome, does that feed you? Ah, I did get treated today. He paid with a debit card. But it said insufficient balance. I don't know. Looks like he doesn't even have a credit card. I think he transferred money from his account later? Yeah."
Almost as if she wanted me to hear it.
Her fierce voice, which I couldn't hear during the blind date.
Even so, I couldn't bring myself to look back.
Because I was so embarrassed.
Fuck. Because my life, having jack shit, fucking sucked.
"Babe, I'm cold. Hug me. I said I'm cold! Hold me tighter!"
Because it was even more fucking infuriating seeing couples clinging tightly to each other right before Christmas.
So I looked up at the sky and prayed.
This dog-shit world.
**「I wish it would all collapse.」
**
Except for me.
...
...
...
Here is the next news item.
Regarding the 'Male Reproductive Fitness Test' implemented on the 1st of last month, the government has once again emphasized that adult South Korean males aged 19 and older must visit designated institutions within the specified period to undergo testing.
This examination is an emergency national measure to respond to the simultaneous decline in male reproductive fitness occurring worldwide,
and those subject to it must complete the examination within the designated period. Failure to comply may result in separate administrative action in accordance with relevant laws, so please check individual notices and the official website for detailed information.
The government is still postponing an official announcement regarding the results aggregated so far, but discussions are underway in the National Assembly regarding a bill commonly known as the 'Alpha Male Law.'
We will continue to follow the story.
Let's connect with reporter Kim Daegi on the scene. Reporter Kim Daegi?
- Yes, this is Kim Daegi.
Discussions regarding the 'Alpha Male Law' are in full swing at the National Assembly right now, correct?
- Yes, that's right. The bill is intended to respond to an unprecedented national crisis. It is known to introduce a conditional bigamy system permitting polygyny exclusively for state-certified Alpha Males, while also including unprecedented incentive systems according to their role, as well as immunity privileges.
I see. What about the controversial pregnancy incentive system?
- Regarding the so-called 'Special Pregnancy Incentive' paid to women impregnated by an Alpha Male, detailed discussions are still ongoing.
- Representative Kim Sangtae of the ruling party reportedly argued that showy, performative support must never happen, claiming that a minimum of 1 billion won in support is necessary, considering all expenses required for raising children, including living expenses, education costs including private tutoring, and housing expenses.
So ultimately, it's not a debate over the necessity of the incentive, but rather how much—discussing how to determine the scale of the financial support.
- Yes, that's correct!
I see. Understood. That was reporter Kim Daegi at the National Assembly.
That concludes the 9 O'Clock Newsdesk. As a citizen myself, I earnestly hope that an Alpha Male emerges as soon as possible.
Thank you for watching.
...
...
...
Tada-!
My wish came true.
They say 90% of men worldwide suffer from chronic erectile dysfunction, and even the remaining 10% can barely last 3 minutes on average.
Even if they somehow managed to ejaculate, things didn't change much.
- It has been confirmed that male fertility has significantly decreased due to various factors such as reduced sperm count and decreased sperm motility.
The world really was on the brink of collapse.
However, despite the severity of the situation, the street scenery looked ordinary.
"......"
People casually walk around the streets, casually drop by convenience stores, casually drink coffee, and casually board the bus.
Has everyone gone crazy?
With such thoughts, I boarded the bus.
Ppik-!
Along with the display on the meter showing that a fare of 1,500 won had been deducted, an automated voice announcement played.
- Unregistered individual. Please proceed with the examination as soon as possible.
"Eng?"
When I turned my head, the bus driver ahjussi was looking up at me with a somehow pitiful face.
"Tsk. Seeing a young fellow procrastinate until the very last day, you must have really lacked confidence."
"Huh?"
Before I could even answer, the driver closed the front door and nodded his head.
"Hurry and go in. Before people give you an earful."
It was just as he said.
I could feel stinging glares from all directions.
Especially the women.
Looking back at those women, I suddenly realized that the scenery here was somehow quite different from what I knew.
It wasn't that the bus lacked seats, yet every single person sitting down was a woman, while the men were all standing, holding onto the handles.
With their heads deeply bowed, as if they were sinners.
"......??"
It was right then, as I sat down in the very back seat thinking how bizarre it was.
The woman in the seat in front of me spoke to me.
"Mister. Did you get your badge?"
"What?"
"Judging from when you tapped your card, it looks like you haven't even taken the test yet. In that case, you shouldn't expect to sit comfortably when taking public transportation."
"What??"
What kind of absurd statement was this?
In my flabbergastment, I looked around, but all I got in return was the turned-away faces of men and the sharp glares of women.
Whispers could be heard from somewhere.
"Can't even function as a man, yet where does he get that confidence? Not even funny."
"Right? Kik."
I was slowly starting to get it.
This is a world where women walk around holding their heads high instead of men bowing theirs.
But I'm not an ordinary man, am I?
How cheeky.
I really want to teach them a lesson.
As I suppressed the impulse creeping up inside me, the little child inner voice whispered to me.
'Why not just drop your pants right here? Show those bitches clearly that you're different from the rest.'
But I held back.
I still needed time to sort out my thoughts on how to live in this transformed world from now on.
Ppik-!
Meanwhile, the bus reached my destination, and I ran straight to the district office building.
Instead of the elevator, I sprinted up the emergency stairs to the 2nd floor.
"...Huu!"
When I arrived, there really was a place called the 'Testing Booth.'
[Your Healthy Today Is the Happiness and Tomorrow of the Republic of Korea.]
Beyond the notice board were temporary service counters, waiting chairs, and a ticket dispenser.
Perhaps because it was the last day, there was no one around.
Just as I was about to pull a ticket first, a tired voice came from the counter.
"...Just come on over."
"Ah, yes."
I approached her, and beyond the glass window, the woman rested her chin on her hand and held out her hand.
"Give me your ID."
"Okay."
I handed her my ID and received a small glass container.
Looking at the container with a white label stuck on the cap, I could roughly guess its purpose.
"Take it and go into the collection room over there."
"Am I supposed to collect it in this?"
"Just take it and go inside."
A reply slightly mixed with annoyance returned as if she found it bothersome, and once again, my inner voice could be heard.
'Did every single one of these fucking bitches store their manners inside their uterus? Want me to punch her in the stomach? Then it feels like it'd pop right out from between her thighs.'
I agree.
However, the thing called reason barely hanging onto the tip of my head demanded that I follow the 'proper order.'
Right. First of all, since I came to take the test, I should get tested.
Kkiik-!
...
...
...
Watching the man's back as he entered the collection room.
Chae Isol tore at her hair.
"Ahk!"
Inside her heart, she poured out endless curses toward her seniors who dumped their work on her and ran away.
'Fuck, fuck, fuck! Those dog-shit senior bitches, telling me to just hold down the desk since no one else would come now!!'
In fact, today was the final day of the nationwide 'Male Reproductive Fitness Test', abbreviated as 'Saengjeokgeom.'
But Saengjeokgeom wasn't some COVID test; it was a grave matter involving one person's life, and furthermore, the survival of the nation.
Where on earth would there be a crazy bastard who postpones such a test until the very last day...?
"...or so I thought, but that crazy bastard was right here. Ha..."
She felt dizzy, as if her vision was turning yellow.
'...What should I do?'
The subject was waiting in the collection room, but she had never conducted the test before.
She hadn't even applied to work in a place like this in the first place.
When her seniors unanimously volunteered to be examiners just to somehow get a chance to meet an Alpha Male, she was the only one who hadn't raised her hand.
Why? Because it was something utterly incomprehensible by her common sense.
At first, she thought it was some kind of hidden camera prank.
Supposedly searching for an Alpha Male.
Men's sexual function—something she hadn't even experienced—being completely broken, weird bills being passed, it was full of things she couldn't understand at all.
However, this wasn't a matter of whether she understood it or not.
No matter how long she waited, the weirdly changed world showed no signs of returning to normal, and it was time for her to accept it too.
"Huu. Get a grip. Get a grip, Chae Isol."
If she had to keep living in whatever world this was, wouldn't she have to adapt and survive somehow?
And adaptability happened to be her specialty.
"Right. I just need to follow the manual."
Chae Isol stood up from her seat with a resolute look in her eyes.
The time required for the test was 10 minutes at most. No, 3 minutes was more than enough.
Since over 90 percent of men couldn't even get an erection in the first place, if she just closed her eyes tight and proceeded for a moment, everything would be over.
"Huuu..."
She slowly gathered her breath like that and opened the door to the collection room.
Kkiik-!
She recites the manual in the calmest voice possible.
"Please take off your pants and underwear, and stand according to the marker line visible on the floor."
However, soon she had no choice but to widen her eyes.
The man had already taken off his pants.
His back stood at an angle, and next to it, something sticking out prominently was standing rock hard, twitching toward the ceiling so fiercely that it couldn't hide its presence.
Erectile state good. No, peak.
Her heart began to throb uncontrollably.
Kung, kungkung, kungkungkungkung...
The feeling of the back of her neck stiffening up.
"Haak..."
Her breathing naturally began to grow rough.
Her chest felt tight.
It was painful.
Yet even amidst that, her mind was working busily.
'Wait, wait a second! Alpha Male, Alpha Male, Alpha Male, he's definitely an Alpha Male!!'
This was an opportunity.
The Alpha Male her senior bitches so desperately wanted to meet had, ironically, appeared on the exact day—today—when she was sent in as a substitute for the testing booth.
This was definitely fate.
'If an opportunity comes, I have to grab it.'
Even if the man looked a bit intimidating, he was the only person in this world right now who could function as a real man.
'Plus, if I consider the pregnancy incentive!!'
The hottest topic among women these days was none other than 'Alpha Male' and 'Pregnancy.'
'Just getting pregnant with an Alpha Male's baby gives 1 billion won, and an additional 2 billion upon giving birth...'
In an instant, her gaze turned hazy.
'It means all I have to do is catch that man...'
Chae Isol swallowed the breath rising to her throat and went to stand in front of the man.
The sight of his male genitalia seen from the front was truly shocking.
"Heok..."
The long, thick shaft was dark red and even lumpy, making it look gruesome, while its twitching movement—matching her own heartbeat—was enough to give her goosebumps.
'B-But that... that's what makes it good, right?'
Chae Isol made her decision.
And she acted.
She began unbuttoning her shirt one by one.
Tok, tok, tok, todok...
And then she threw it wide open toward the man.
"Is it because it's hot? I'm sweating... Um, Daegeun-nim. Would you like to use my breasts as side dishes to help you out? You can touch them, or, i-if you want, you can pinch my nipples. And if it's hard to do by yourself, I could help you out a bit. How about it?"
