Chapter 92
Chapter 92
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Vine
Chapter: 92
Chapter Title: Her Reason to Live
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Happiness.
There was a time when the word "happiness" was something Karite experienced so easily, day after day.
A wonderful family, kind parents, and affectionate servants—even her innate talent seemed to bless her, allowing her to spend a happy childhood.
But from a certain point on, all that happiness vanished completely.
A sudden onset of anxiety and restlessness.
No matter how skilled the priests and healers, no matter that they even used holy water, which was hard to come by, nothing could cure the curse-like phenomenon that had suddenly befallen Karite.
As this continued for four years, her once-affectionate family began to look at her with strange eyes. Her innate talent, too, dimmed as her emotional state grew unstable, as if it had never shone at all.
And what came to fill the void left by that light was darkness.
A darkness so dreadful.
Trapped in that darkness for years, Karite couldn't feel any true happiness.
Beyond anxiety and restlessness, the symptoms of her unexplained mental instability worsened, and eventually, she began to hear strange auditory hallucinations that tormented her endlessly.
But today.
Karite was feeling ‘happiness’ for the first time in a long while. Even to her, it felt as though she were basking in a warm light for the first time in ages, each moment seeming to be enveloped in it.
And because that light seemed to shine so brightly upon her, it almost didn't feel real.
…
"...ite. Karite?"
"Ah, yes...?"
She answered his call belatedly, still staring blankly at Han Cheon-seong.
"The rabbit came over. What are you thinking about so hard?"
"Nothing... just meaningless thoughts."
As she replied, a white rabbit that had approached her came into view.
It was nibbling eagerly at the hay she held in her hand, and watching it, she felt as if she had just returned to reality.
*I was feeling happy.*
The emotion of happiness, felt for the first time in so long, was so unfamiliar that she had momentarily forgotten reality.
Han Cheon-seong and I were now in a part of the academy grounds where you could see various animals.
I never knew a place like this existed until today, but just watching the rabbits seemed to soothe my heart, little by little.
And having someone by my side like this was a great source of strength.
"..."
I glanced beside me and pinched my thigh with my other hand. The pain was sharp and clear.
*It's not a dream.*
This certainly wasn't a dream.
*Rustle!*
Then, as the rabbit finished the hay and hopped away, a small laugh escaped her.
"Rabbits are so heartless. They just eat and run."
"Well, they're animals. They're just acting on instinct."
As I spoke, I didn't feel much disappointment.
I was just grateful that the animals had come to me at all. Then, I watched as Han Cheon-seong held out his hand.
In his hand was even more hay than I had held.
In an instant, a whole group of rabbits flocked to Han Cheon-seong's hand.
"...Huh?"
Seeing even Han Cheon-seong, who had offered his hand, look surprised, I was surprised too and couldn't help but stare.
*Nibble, nibble, nibble!*
Three white rabbits were quickly eating the hay from his hand as if competing, and it was a fascinating sight.
"Do rabbits play favorites with people?"
Han Cheon-seong and I weren't the only students here.
I could see other students holding more hay than him, but Han Cheon-seong undoubtedly had the most rabbits gathered around his hand.
"Karite. There's no way rabbits play favorites. It's probably just because I'm holding a lot of hay."
At his casual reply... I wondered if that was it, but I still found myself gazing at him.
He watched the cotton-ball-like rabbits clustered in his hand with a faint, fond smile, and that sight alone made him seem so genuine.
After all, someone who animals liked couldn't be a bad person.
*I can feel his kindness.*
You can't judge a person's inner thoughts, but that was just the feeling I got looking at Han Cheon-seong.
To me, Han Cheon-seong seemed like an incredibly good person, and mixed in with that was my own wish... that he would be.
I inadvertently recalled the words he had spoken to me at the café.
—*Because I want to. Because I'm concerned about you.*
Just remembering those words made a warmth spread through my entire body again. They weren't even many words. But in that moment, my mind felt like it was floating, and I felt a vague sense of happiness.
When was the last time someone had said they wanted to be with me...?
Even my own family had ended up avoiding me after I became irritable from anxiety. The words Han Cheon-seong had said to me now felt more significant than anything else.
"Karite."
"...Yes?"
"While the rabbits are distracted by the hay, do you want to try petting one?"
"But... won't they run away if I do?"
"Don't worry so much and just give it a try."
Han Cheon-seong smiled lightly and pointed to his hand, where three rabbits were engrossed in the hay.
Encouraged by his words... I cautiously reached out my hand.
I moved my hand with extreme care, but I couldn't help feeling nervous. Hoping the rabbit wouldn't flee from my touch, the moment my hand made contact with one of their backs—
—!
The rabbit flinched in surprise and darted away from my hand.
"..."
I froze for a moment, then awkwardly withdrew my hand, my lips hesitating.
*I was so careful. Was my touch that sudden?*
Naturally, negative thoughts began to creep in again.
*Maybe the rabbit ran because it was me who reached out. Without hay, even animals must hate my touch...*
Even over something so trivial, negative thoughts needlessly seized my mind.
"That's a shame."
Hearing his voice, I numbly nodded my head.
"Karite, hold on. Let me try."
"...Okay. Go ahead."
As I replied, my mind just felt numb. This moment was so wonderful, yet I felt so pathetic for letting my heart be shaken by such a trivial thing.
*Swoosh.*
Then, as Han Cheon-seong kept his right hand out with the hay and slowly extended his left, I found myself watching intently.
*If it's Han Cheon-seong's hand and not mine...*
I felt a strange curiosity, wondering if the rabbit would stay still.
And soon, Han Cheon-seong's hand made contact.
"......"
For a moment, I was speechless.
*Really...*
When Han Cheon-seong's hand touched it, the rabbit didn't run away. In fact, it seemed to enjoy his gentle strokes on its head, remaining perfectly still while indulging in the hay.
*We touched different rabbits. And this is such a minor thing.*
Logically, I understood all of this. And yet, a gloomy feeling flooded my heart like a rising tide.
*I knew it.*
*It's no use for me... It's clear that even animals reject my touch. I must be under a curse that can never be broken.*
"Karite."
"...Yeah."
I replied in a voice that had sunk without me realizing it, suppressing my emotions.
...Just suppressing these surging negative emotions was mentally exhausting again.
But my heart remained heavy. It felt as if this reality was showing me my place.
*That I'm different from other people. A clearly distinct being...*
*So, being rejected even by animals is my reality.*
"Hold out your hand."
"Huh...?"
"Hurry and reach for the rabbit I'm petting."
As Han Cheon-seong urged me on, I blinked blankly before realizing what he meant.
*Stroke, stroke.*
Even now, Han Cheon-seong's hand was stroking the rabbit's head gently and rhythmically. And he was trying to create an opportunity... for me to pet the rabbit too.
As I slowly extended my hand, my gaze fell on Han Cheon-seong's profile, his attention focused on the rabbit.
*...He's different.*
Han Cheon-seong was definitely... different.
Looking at him, an overwhelming wave of emotion washed over me.
And... in this moment, I was certain. Han Cheon-seong was with me like this because he was paying attention to me, because he truly cared.
It was as if he were showing me, through both his words and actions, that what he'd said at the café was sincere.
*Swoosh.*
As my hand approached the rabbit he was petting, Han Cheon-seong carefully moved his own aside, making space for me to stroke it.
And then, I could touch it.
"..."
As I gently stroked the rabbit's head, just as Han Cheon-seong had done, the rabbit didn't shy away from my hand.
Of course, it might have been because Han Cheon-seong's hand was still gently stroking another part of the rabbit, but it was accepting my touch as well.
"How is it? It's really soft, right?"
As Han Cheon-seong whispered to me, I nodded, my eyes no longer on the rabbit, but fixed solely on him.
He was smiling gently, as if so pleased that the rabbit was accepting my touch.
...Watching him, the emotions continued to swell endlessly within me.
*A person this good really exists...*
Even seeing it with my own eyes, this reality felt unbelievable.
It kept feeling like a dream, not quite real. I bit my lip without realizing it, making myself feel the pain.
And that pain felt incredibly pleasant.
Because it was real.
Over the past two days, among all the ways I had hoped Han Cheon-seong would be, none of my expectations had included the person he was right now.
...Kind and gentle. This Han Cheon-seong, who was considerate and cared for me, was real.
And he didn't even seem self-conscious or burdened by it.
While with me, he seemed comfortable, naturally approaching me, speaking to me, and smiling gently like this.
He showed it through his actions. No matter how consumed by anxiety I became, no matter how lost in foolish thoughts, I could trust Han Cheon-seong.
*Swoosh!*
Then, when the rabbit I was touching disappeared, I blankly lowered my gaze.
"See? The rabbits really are heartless."
Han Cheon-seong said with a chuckle, and I saw that the hay in his hand was all gone.
At his words, a laugh escaped me without my realizing it, and I nodded.
"...Maybe they really are heartless."
"Still, this was pretty good. We got to pet them as much as we wanted in exchange for hay. Was it not enough for you, Karite?"
"No, I'm more than satisfied with this."
As I answered, I found I didn't wish for anything more.
...Any more happiness than this moment.
And the look in Han Cheon-seong's eyes as he watched me now seemed so pure that I was simply content... and then some.
"You're prettier when you smile.”
"...Huh?"
"I said you're prettier when you smile. If you smiled like that more often, other students would definitely want to be your friend."
At his words, I unconsciously touched my face.
*Was I smiling...?*
I thought about it, and it seemed likely. Since Han Cheon-seong had said so. I felt like I must have been smiling.
"It's hard for me to smile like this normally."
“That will get better over time."
At his utterly natural words... I found myself looking at him and nodding.
The words Han Cheon-seong tossed out so casually. They seemed like nothing, and yet…….
...they inspired far more trust than the high priest my family had brought in at great expense in the past.
If the high priest had given me only a few minutes of peace, Han Cheon-seong had been giving me this warm feeling for hours now.
"Thank you."
"All of a sudden?"
"Just... because I'm so grateful to you."
Seeing Han Cheon-seong laugh as if my words were strange, I felt my heart regaining its strength.
Amidst the difficult and unbearable days, the reason I could endure today while looking forward to tomorrow...