Chapter 81
Chapter 81
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 81
Chapter Title: The Pains of Growth
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***
*Click.*
As Kalli watched Cheon-seong close the door and disappear, she found herself hesitating.
—I want to stop Cadet Han Cheon-seong.
For a moment, she was swept up by the urge. But it remained confined to her mind, never finding its way out.
“……”
Left alone, Kalli blankly ran a hand through her red hair.
‘Why would I think that…?’
Her heart felt so strange. A sudden confusion washed over her.
A feeling of unease lingered.
There was no issue with her favoring Cadet Han Cheon-seong; she had decided on that early on. Perhaps it was because this was her first time as an instructor, but her feelings kept growing excessive.
A desire, a longing, to guide Cadet Han Cheon-seong according to her own thoughts and to pave that path for him was welling up inside her.
She wanted the steps he took to be on the righteous path she envisioned, for him to walk a path of integrity. That was why she reacted so sensitively to the rumors circulating about him.
The incident with Cadet Luna was one example, as was the rumor she heard today about the female student named Karite.
She was showing far too much interest, reacting too strongly.
And during their last meeting, I had resolved to treat Cadet Han Cheon-seong better.
That was why she had been able to endure it today.
Without showing a cold side to Cadet Han Cheon-seong, or any other side for that matter.
“It wasn’t… obvious, was it?”
She blankly reflected on her actions today.
Throughout the lecture, she had tried desperately not to show any coldness or foolishness toward him.
And she thought she had done a rather good job. She hadn't shown any sign of it, yet her mood was still strange.
—I decided not to view relationships between cadets negatively.
She had pretended to be fine, saying that to Cadet Han Cheon-seong before he left, but her heart felt the complete opposite.
Even though she had spoken the words, her heart seemed to rebel, strongly trying to deny them.
That feeling had been unsettling her mind ever since he left.
“Haa…”
As she sighed, she felt foolish.
Strangely, Cadet Han Cheon-seong was often entangled in rumors with female students. Still, she knew he wasn't a bad person.
She knew him well enough now to say with certainty that he wasn't a playboy or a man who chased after girls.
'Right, Cadet Han Cheon-seong is nothing like that.'
…He just happened to get involved with female students by chance, and today, when he spoke of Karite, he even showed a sense of innocence.
His words about worrying for the female student felt so sincere.
So… why am I having such foolish thoughts?
The answer was all too simple.
“Because… I don’t want Cadet Han Cheon-seong to date.”
The righteous path I envision for Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Romance has no place on that path. It shouldn't be allowed to interfere.
Of course, there were students who grew even while dating, but they were extremely rare. In terms of cases, it was one in a hundred. That's how hard they were to find.
Biting her lip gently, she wondered why this one thing was so hard to accept.
“I really am stubborn.”
No matter how much she tried to change her values, to accept it, it wasn't easy at all.
If the student she had decided to favor fell into a romance, she knew it would be a sight she wouldn't want to see.
But to keep denying it… felt like it would only create more friction between her and Cadet Han Cheon-seong.
And for an instructor to try and interfere with a student's feelings was truly ridiculous…
Suddenly, she thought of Esia, a fellow instructor.
—Romantic feelings are so natural that you can’t stop them even if you try.
Her words, that it was pointless for an instructor to try and suppress them. Logically, she understood. The problem was her heart.
If Cadet Han Cheon-seong spent a lot of time with other female students, it was only natural that such feelings would develop.
“Will I… be able to accept that?”
If the student she was investing so much in, hoping he would progress well, were to walk a deviant path… could she tolerate it?
*Whoosh.*
She sighed and shook her head.
It was too soon to tell. It all depended on what Cadet Han Cheon-seong did from now on. In that case, all she could do was watch him grow.
Since she had already told him it was fine, she would have to just watch, at least ‘for now.’
***
Training grounds.
Though it was already evening, Cheon-seong was still at the training grounds.
*Swoosh! Clang!*
The spearhead cut through the air and violently struck the steel scarecrow.
The sharp clang echoed rhythmically thereafter.
Han Cheon-seong’s gaze was fixed squarely on his spearhead, and naturally, various students gathered to watch him before dispersing, a cycle that repeated itself.
But as time passed and Han Cheon-seong’s training showed no signs of changing, all the curious onlookers had eventually disappeared.
….
Only when the night had deepened did Han Cheon-seong finally retrieve his spear.
He was drenched in sweat, a sight of clear exhaustion to anyone who saw him…
“Hah…”
He was panting, his mind blank.
Repeatedly striking the steel scarecrow had placed a heavy burden on the arms that held the spear, leaving them numb.
He had arrived at the training grounds late; just how many hours had he been immersed in training?
When he dazedly checked the time, even the student cafeteria was about to close.
*Thump.*
He collapsed on the spot, his entire body feeling as heavy as waterlogged cotton.
He knew he had to leave the training grounds, but a deep sense of regret made it hard to move his feet.
‘I have to get stronger.’
I need to become even a little stronger.
What he learned from his conversation with Kalli today had been a huge shock. It made him think that he had to protect Karite no matter what. He couldn't help but feel that he was still too weak.
The enemies he had to face were monsters classified as special-grade threats, like the Apostles.
The possibility that fiends might be cooperating with those Apostles, and the fact that Karite was fated to meet a mysterious death as a sacrifice next week.
All of it weighed down on his heart.
He couldn't tell anyone about the future he knew.
No matter how he thought about it, he had no evidence to convince anyone who listened. In the end, he could only think that he had to do it himself.
He had to protect Karite and prevent a major incident from happening.
Therefore.
“I… have to get stronger.”
Forcing himself to pull it together, he gripped his spear.
The path he had to walk was now clear.
Compared to yesterday, when he was only thinking, his path forward was now vividly clear.
—I must get stronger.
‘Worrying about Karite wasn't an excuse to neglect my training.’
On the contrary, he had to train even more intensely than before.
Only by possessing far greater strength than he had now could he even begin to deal with the events to come.
*Tap. Scrape.*
Using the spear shaft as a support to push himself up, he let out a shallow breath.
The deadline was next Wednesday, less than a week away. He didn't have time for this.
*Click-clack.*
Then, he saw Instructor Ludmina approaching him.
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong?”
“Ah, I’m about to leave now.”
“I see. And pushing yourself too hard isn’t good for your body, either. That’s enough for today, so go back and get some proper rest.”
He nodded with an awkward smile at the training instructor's words.
*Thud.*
As he left the training grounds, a world completely dyed in deep darkness came into view.
*Growl.* And with it, the pangs of hunger.
“……”
I let out a shallow breath and started walking.
…
*Rustle. Rustle.* With the light sound of rustling bushes, the bright moonlight faintly illuminated the park.
I had arrived not at the cafeteria or the dorms, but at a park.
“Just a little more… I’ll train.”
I know that in this world, a person's will becomes their strength. So now that I've reached my limit, I have to look even further ahead.
*Thud.*
Arriving at a relatively secluded spot within the large park, I slowly unslung the spear from my back.
As I gripped the spear in my hands once more, the characteristic coolness of the steel felt especially sharp today.
“…”
Slowly, I steadied my breath and fixed my eyes on the empty space before me.
Staring into the darkness where even the moonlight barely reached, I raised the tip of my spear.
*Swoosh!*
I thrust the spear, lightly releasing the force as I withdrew it, then advanced a step and thrust again.
The time of continuously swinging the incredibly heavy spear began once more.
As if forming the flow of a great river, when the spear cut through the air with a sharp sound, I swung it so that its force wouldn't just stop mid-air.
And in less than ten minutes, my body began to creak, crying out in pain.
On top of that, due to hunger, even putting strength into the hands gripping the spear felt twice as hard as usual.
I was conscious of it all, but I didn't stop.
‘Be stronger of will.’
Instead, I whipped myself onward, forcing myself to swing the spear however I could.
I knew that feelings like impatience and anxiety were in my heart.
And that trying to do something in such a short amount of time wouldn't yield proper results.
But. I felt like I had to do this, even so.
If I returned to the dorms to sleep and greeted the next day, I felt I would greatly regret it later.
I should have tried harder. Did I truly try to become stronger? I felt like I would berate myself then.
*Swoosh!*
At the sharp sound of the spear slicing through the air, I relaxed my grip on the shaft and lightly withdrew it again.
As I watched the spear cut through the air once more, a thought suddenly struck me.
“…If I could obtain a skill.”
If I could just master a skill by next week, wouldn't I be able to achieve a growth greater than anything else?
Ever since using that concept in my duel with Jerad, I had been deliberately holding back.
[Pierce a single point and twist.]
If only I could turn that special concept into a proper skill…
*Gulp.*
Swallowing hard, I slowly retrieved my spear.
“……”
Very slowly, I steadied my breath.
It was to compose my extremely exhausted body, just a little. And it was a risk worth taking.