Chapter 263
Chapter 263
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 263
Chapter Title: Where the Storm Passed
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***
What is left in the wake of a storm?
The answer was simple.
Where an overwhelmingly powerful wind has swept through, only wreckage remains. When swept up by an irresistible force of nature, all that's left is a trail of destruction.
And right now... that was exactly how I felt.
Step. Step….
"...."
Even as I walked, my mind was in a daze.
My eyes took in the academy grounds, but the events of a few moments ago refused to leave my mind.
"...Karite."
Muttering the name that could only be described as a storm, I felt the sheer magnitude of the mark she had left on my heart.
It had certainly been a sudden meeting.
Witnessing her astounding achievements that followed, I had to rethink my perception of Karite.
It wasn't just about maintaining a connection through regular meetings, but about realizing how brightly she could shine. And at the end of that thought process, I had wanted to clear up the misunderstanding between us.
I had definitely given her an opening, and I believed it was the consequence of my own actions that made her accept it as such.
‘Yes, it was a consequence of my actions.’
To think I once found it merely bold how she approached me so freely and treated me without reservation now seemed laughable.
The cause and effect were clear. If asked who approached whom first, I could say 'me' without a moment's hesitation.
Our relationship.
In the relationship that first formed, I was the one who...
‘...approached her.’
That was why Karite was acting this way toward me now.
As she regained her true self, she acted even more freely around me.
She tries to express feelings for me far greater than the interest I first showed her.
...Realizing that, I understood.
It was already too late to try and untangle the hopelessly knotted thread between us.
Karite's feelings for me had already grown uncontrollably large.
So much so that she had taken my hand before I could even find the start of the tangled thread....
Step.
As I took another step, her mark remained deeply etched not only on my heart but on my body as well.
"...."
My lips hesitated, but the sensation of that moment came back to me vividly.
Karite's soft body hugging me from behind. The deep affection in her embrace, holding me for several minutes even though she'd said it would only be for a moment.
After that, no significant words were exchanged between us.
I couldn't bring myself to speak at that moment to clear up the misunderstanding with Karite. I shouldn't have.
Karite, who had suffered for years with a twisted heart.
She had been timid and cautious with everyone, her mind so unstable she was plagued by auditory hallucinations.
Because I know just how much pain and hardship Karite endured.
‘Because I understand.’
In that moment she conveyed her tender feelings, I couldn't push her away.
I just... couldn't.
I felt it instinctively.
I knew how hurt she would be if I rejected her then—more hurt than I could imagine. I felt the depth of her feelings in her embrace.
That I shouldn't try to untangle the knotted thread.
If I tried, the thread would surely snap, and things would only get worse....
"Hah...."
A soft sigh escaped me, but I didn't stop walking.
The more I mulled over the traces of Karite, this great storm, the more an inexplicable, hollow laugh escaped me.
And the answer was already as good as decided.
‘I have to change.’
I really did.
The relationships I've had until now.
I had to change the mindset I'd established regarding my relationships with several women.
Simply deciding my own feelings and honestly conveying them to the women wasn't enough.
Instead of passively accepting whatever choice they made in response to my words, I had to think completely differently when it came to Karite.
Gulp.
Swallowing hard, I nodded.
"...That's what I have to do."
I knew I would have to be even more selfish than I'd been in my harem relationships so far. But it felt like the only way.
‘There's no turning back now.’
I couldn't tell Karite now that there were other women in my life, that it would be better for her to give up on me.
Unlike how I'd spoken honestly with Glacia, I couldn't treat Karite the same way.
...Because. She's different.
"Karite is...."
She wouldn't be able to accept it. No, unlike Glacia, who could at least react with surprise, Karite wouldn't even be able to process the words.
One thing people often overlook is that everyone accepts things differently.
Step.
That was my biggest concern.
Some people can take relatively harsh words in stride, while others can't handle even much softer ones.
The degree of their struggle is different.
It's only natural, as everyone has a different background, way of thinking, values, and even attitude.
And Karite had to be seen as someone from a truly unique environment.
After suffering for years from Leteia's horrific thoughts, she was finally free and in the process of reclaiming her true self.
'How could she possibly take my words the same way Glacia did?'
This wasn't just a matter of whether she would reject me or not.
I had no confidence that Karite could face reality after hearing my intention to clear up the misunderstanding.
In fact, the more I thought about it, the more a great fear crept over me.
"...."
My heart grew tense.
I had supported Karite all this time, helping her stand on her own two feet. I saved her from Leteia's avatar and helped her escape the fate that should have led to her death.
I knew it too. That Karite considered all of this to be incredibly significant.
However, Karite was now moving forward well on her own.
She could devote herself to training alone and, as a result, achieved something others could never easily accomplish. She had shown nothing short of dazzling growth, to the point where she proudly told me about it.
‘And yet...’
Even that, she had presented to me, saying she was 'thinking of me.'
I no longer thought of myself as supporting her, but Karite still found the purpose for her growth and the reason for her actions entirely in me.
Which meant, fundamentally, my role as her support... hadn't changed much at all.
‘A pillar of emotional support that allows her to move forward.’
That feeling had transformed into immense affection, leading her to express her heart to me as she did today.
"...."
The more I thought, the more my resolve hardened.
I knew I could no longer hope for a friendship, for the same kind of relationship we had before.
I was afraid of how Karite might react if I were to say such a thing.
'How much would her heart be shaken?'
I had faced and overcome many crises until now.
But each situation had been bad enough to be called 'the worst.' I'd even developed a habit of unknowingly assuming the worst-case scenario.
And the worst-case scenario for Karite... was all too easy to predict.
Previously, worst-case scenarios had occurred even when I thought the possibility was low. And with Karite, I didn't think the possibility was low at all.
Because I could see her heart... shattering.
If she heard my words and sensed even the slightest hint of rejection, there was a high chance she would revert to the person she was when I first met her.
The Apostle of Sacrifice. Even if she had mostly escaped Leteia's influence now... the scars and trauma in her heart wouldn't disappear so easily.
Perhaps it was something Karite would have to carry with her for the rest of her life.
"...That's why."
I have to be the one to change.
I... was the one who first allowed her to get close, the one who made her feel this way. This was the result.
Karite clearly holds affection for me.
My desire to maintain a good friendship was complacent.
Step.
...As my destination slowly came into view, I gently wiped my face.
‘Let's not... feel too guilty.’
Now that I've made up my mind, I have to act accordingly.
But if I already feel guilty, it will surely show on the outside.
Step.
So, as I walked, I decided to think even more selfishly.
I will become entangled with Karite in a completely different way than before.
‘Because I've decided it.’
And Karite will never be the one to reject me. Because of the feelings she showed today, we will undoubtedly grow closer.
I no longer had the slightest thought of untangling our relationship, a knotted thread born from misunderstanding.
From now on... I will not let Karite go.
I will tangle the knotted thread even more tightly... so that Karite can never escape me.
I won't let her listen to my words and make a choice. I will compel her, so that no matter what I say, she cannot refuse me.
The thought of making her completely mine.
"And, I too... will come to love her."
And I spoke the words again, as if making a vow to myself.
From now on, I will see Karite not as a friend, but as... my lover, and I will try to love her as such.
And I considered this the price for twisting the predetermined future of the world.
Yes, this is the future I chose, the reality I created.
I couldn't be satisfied with merely diverting her from a fate of death; I had to take full responsibility for making her happier from now on.
Thud.
I stopped walking, my heart surging with emotion.
Even as I established this new resolve, a hollow laugh played on my lips once more.
I was realizing anew just how much this 'harem' situation forced me into an unrealistic and strangely peculiar mindset.
And now... I had come to see Kalli.
Knock, knock.
I knocked on the door and cleared my throat.
"...It's Han Cheon-seong, Instructor Kalli."
Steeling my shaken heart... I decided to embrace an even greater greed instead of guilt.
So that I could handle all the women who would become part of my life from now on.