Chapter 251
Chapter 251
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 251
Chapter Title: First Kiss and What Came After
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Sometimes, you forget things you shouldn’t.
Something important.
Something so important you should never forget it, yet in a certain moment, you lose track and it slips your mind. This often happens when a jumble of situations creates confusion.
But still, it was something I shouldn't have forgotten.
When the other person’s approach reminded me, rather than me remembering on my own, I froze.
That was what was happening right now.
Now, as I left the lecture hall after my Tuesday classes had ended.
It was only when I saw Glacia outside, as if she had been waiting for me, that I realized.
"...Ah."
My thoughts seemed to halt with the short sound that escaped my lips.
And yet, I could see Glacia meeting my gaze with her clear eyes.
"Han Cheon-seong. You don't have plans, do you?"
"…No."
"Then can you give me some of your time, starting now?"
Unlike usual, Glacia's voice felt awkward.
And despite that awkwardness, my heart seemed to sink. Today was the day we had promised to meet regularly. Yes... I hadn't forgotten that.
That day last weekend.
I had been thinking about Glacia ever since that day when my values and way of thinking had changed. The problem was that too many thoughts were cluttering my mind.
It was as if my thoughts about her had become buried like a single book among stacks of others; I hadn't been able to think about Glacia properly.
*Clack.*
"..."
Walking beside Glacia as she led the way, I glanced at her, but my lips wouldn't easily open.
We had parted ways awkwardly last weekend.
No, rather than awkward, it was more that she had suddenly kissed me, and that was how our encounter had ended.
‘A kiss…’
As I was blankly recalling that moment, Glacia's eyes met mine.
*Flinch.*
Then, as if on cue, we both turned our heads away at the same time... The atmosphere between us had changed so much.
It was so different that neither of us could easily speak. I don't know how long I followed Glacia like that.
We arrived at a park.
The park where we always promised to meet, where we had spent time together almost every day. Lush greenery filled my vision, and contrary to my complicated heart, the fresh air was invigorating.
*Thump.*
And then, Glacia stopped walking.
"Han Cheon-seong."
As she turned her head and looked directly at me with a firm voice, I no longer avoided her gaze.
I had to face her properly.
"About last weekend... that... thing I did."
As Glacia jumped straight to the point, I paused for a moment but waited for her to continue.
‘What on earth... is she going to say?’
I had no idea what she would say to me.
Normally, I should have thought things through and gone to her first, but I hadn't. Feeling sorry about that, I listened closely to what she had to say.
"...Haa."
When Glacia suddenly shook her head and let out a deep sigh, my heart sank even further.
"I was... very confused about why I acted that way. This might sound strange to you... but at that moment, it felt like something I had to do. Because I thought you wanted me to... you know... kiss you."
Her words were disjointed.
It sounded partly like an excuse for her actions, and partly like a raw expression of her feelings.
"Glacia. You thought I wanted you to do that?"
"Ah, yes… I thought that's what your words meant. Now... I'm not so sure. Whether you really looked at me that way or not, everything…"
She gave an awkward smile at my words, trying to answer somehow.
I could see at a glance... that Glacia was struggling. And her attitude made me vaguely realize something.
‘As I thought…’
The core thought—that maybe there was a big problem with my own words and actions.
Lately, I'd been having that thought quite often.
It was strange, looking back.
It wasn't just one person who had feelings for me right now.
Coincidentally, several people were expressing their affection for me at the same time. Some had directly confessed their feelings, while others, like Glacia, felt that it was what I wanted.
"Han Cheon-seong. I know this is strange, but I think it's right to tell you this way. I need to hear your honest answer about why I kissed you... because I think that's the only way I can decide how to act from now on. So, what do you... think of me?"
She asked in a sincere, albeit awkward, voice.
Facing Glacia, who was looking right at me with a voice full of deep contemplation... I stupidly asked back.
"So, you... want to ask about my feelings?"
"Right. Yes, what your feelings... are."
Hearing her confirmation, a laugh escaped me without my realizing it.
It was a laugh without reason, like a smile that had appeared on its own.
And the answer was already decided.
"To be honest about my own feelings... I like you. More than just a little."
As I said it, I was surprised by my own lack of hesitation.
Was it because Glacia had been honest with me first, revealing her feelings and the reason for her actions? I, too, found myself conveying my feelings as they were.
"…!"
Glacia's eyes widened at my answer. I looked into them and continued.
"We were definitely friends, and the time we've spent together... I never felt it was bad. I can't deny that underlying it all, I have good feelings for you. That's why... I acted that way back then, too."
Even as I spoke, I thought it was a truly strange feeling.
Glacia and I thought of each other as friends. However, if you asked whether there was no mutual affection underlying that, I couldn't deny it.
There were many times my heart had wavered when Glacia spoke to me so suddenly, and while I was surprised by her physical affection, I accepted it all.
And the mere fact that I accepted it meant I was fond of her.
If I had disliked her, I never would have accepted all those actions.
"I see... So I was right."
"I... guess so."
We exchanged words awkwardly, the atmosphere even more uncomfortable than when we first met.
‘How will Glacia... take this?’
I was sure... that Glacia's feelings for me were stronger than the fondness I felt for her.
She was the one who kissed me first. That was an act only possible with feelings far greater than my own.
But the current situation was strange.
I had already decided to accept two other people into my heart.
Although my relationships with them were just beginning, I had to tell her that there were other women in my life.
"Um, then... you know."
"Glacia. Listen."
As our voices overlapped by chance, I hesitated for a moment before yielding.
"You go first, Glacia."
"Okay. I will…"
Glacia nodded at my reply, still gazing at me with those clear eyes.
From the moment she turned to face me, her gaze had never left my eyes. So I couldn't avoid it either.
Because I had to face her properly now and give an answer about our relationship.
I had given her reason to feel this way, and if my actions had caused it, I had a responsibility to address it.
"I'll be completely honest. I'm... still not sure what should happen between us. There's a part of me that definitely still thinks of you as a good friend... I'm happy... that you took my actions well. I... didn't dislike that moment either."
A hesitant, careful voice.
And yet, I faltered slightly at the confusion in her eyes.
She has feelings for me. I can be sure of that.
Having recently agonized over my own romantic relationships, I could faintly sense it. And also, that Glacia's heart was wavering greatly right now.
She was asking me for an answer.
Whether we could still be friends.
Or if we should become something more.
An answer for her own hesitation on the matter…
"…"
I was about to answer when someone suddenly came to mind.
—Anastasia's request.
The request she had made of me seemed to be holding me back now.
Anastasia had definitely told me. She said she would be very happy if I remained a good friend to Glacia, even making the extraordinary offer to grant me any favor in return.
And I had answered her with conviction.
That I wouldn't approach Glacia first. That while I couldn't be sure if our relationship would remain as friends, if Glacia came to me, I would think about it properly then…
"Han Cheon-seong... you know. Is it... very cowardly of me to ask you to choose?"
Seeing my silence, Glacia's eyes clouded over as she asked again.
Glacia was being cautious. She wanted me to decide the answer to our relationship. And she was worried about burdening me.
‘Sigh…’
I swallowed a sigh, my heart feeling like it was grinding to a halt.
Our relationship was confusing right now, and the fundamental reason for the problem lay with me, not Glacia.
I couldn't simply answer with whether I liked her or not.
"Glacia, before that, there's something I have to tell you first."
...So I answered, intending to reveal everything.
"Something you have to tell me?"
"About my current situation. I want you to hear me out properly... and then decide on our relationship. If I were to try and move things forward with you, I don't think that would be the right answer... so."
"If that's what you want... alright. Tell me."
Looking at Glacia's calm reply, I gently wiped my face.
From now on.
I had to tell the truth.
The whole truth, without a single lie. I had to tell her everything about myself.
...And yet, my heart was heavy.
‘How am I going to face Anastasia?’
I couldn't be sure what answer Glacia would give me... but I was already worried.
If Glacia accepted me even after this, I would have absolutely no face to show Anastasia.
"Glacia. Right now... I have someone else.“