Chapter 244
Chapter 244
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 244
Chapter Title: An Indirect Confession
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***
*Ssk.*
We were just leaving the restaurant, the door closing behind us. At this moment, my heart was the calmest it had been in days.
‘I’m glad I met Adelia.’
That thought crossed my mind as I glanced at the woman beside me.
The decision I’d reluctantly made, my own thoughts—it all felt like it had finally found a complete answer.
“Instructor Adelia. Lunch was delicious. I’ll be sure to treat you next time.”
“Heh… you really shouldn’t even joke about things like that.”
Seeing Adelia smile in the sunlight pouring through the high-rise window, I felt I had finally found a proper goal for my life.
And what was important was…
—I hadn't been forced to accept it; I had chosen this path myself.
It was no longer something I was reluctantly accepting.
Perhaps that was why, instead of the confusion I’d felt before, I now felt a sense of excitement. I wasn't vaguely fearing or worrying anymore. I could move forward with confidence in myself.
I now thought of it as something I would ‘seize.’
As we descended, I was the one to speak first.
“Um. Instructor Adelia.”
“Yes, Cadet Han Cheon-seong.”
“I’ve found my life’s goal.”
“Your life’s goal? What kind of goal is it?”
Her voice was filled with curiosity, and as our eyes met, I noticed there were few people around.
We were in the high-rise lounge of the academy’s recreational facilities. Perhaps because it was an area lined with expensive restaurants, it was sparsely populated.
Only a few instructors and high-ranking academy staff were in sight. So I felt no hesitation in speaking.
I wanted to be the first to reveal my goal to the one who had helped me make up my mind.
“My goal is to become a noble.”
“A noble, you say…”
“And a very high-ranking one at that. The kind they call… the pillars of the empire. I intend to aim for that and move forward.”
A faint smile escaped my lips as I revealed my grand ambition to her.
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong. So that’s why you said you would stand on the front lines.”
“Yes. Because I must have my worth acknowledged by the empire. That’s not to say I’m taking the front lines lightly. Now that I have this goal, I plan to continue doing my best for it.”
There was no hesitation.
In fact, the more I spoke, the more my mind seemed to clear, recognizing the path ahead.
The confidence not to fear loving someone.
And the arrogant mindset to embrace those who liked me.
By settling that, all the confusion in my heart vanished.
I was confident I could put it into practice.
As I looked at her, Adelia gazed back at me with an exceptionally peculiar expression.
“...Cadet Han Cheon-seong. To be honest, I felt a little regretful.”
“Regretful?”
“I felt that by bringing up the front lines, I had forced something excessive upon you. I thought you made that decision because of me… and I regretted it.”
A natural smile emerged as I watched her answer cautiously.
‘She’s such a kind person.’
Being with her was warm and put my mind at ease.
I think that was why I was starting to develop feelings for her.
“Your words certainly had an influence on me, but I hope you don’t think of it negatively. You helped me solidify my intention to volunteer for the front lines, and I plan to fulfill my responsibility and duty. And since that has become the stepping stone for my life’s goal, I am nothing but grateful to you, Instructor.”
Sincerity.
I offered nothing but words filled with sincerity.
“Thank you for saying that… but my heart is still complicated. I may be an instructor looking after a cadet now, but as a former officer who served on the front lines, I won’t… try to stop you from going. I don’t regret it now. Because I can trust you, Cadet Han Cheon-seong.”
She carefully received my words, her eyes meeting mine with earnestness.
And as I met her gaze, I now felt that I could be proud of myself.
‘Perhaps.’
This might be something close to self-assurance.
Deciding my life’s goal simply because of her response might be a hasty judgment.
‘But shouldn’t that be okay…?’
I wondered if a life goal needed a grander catalyst than this. Even a small trigger could give my heart conviction.
And now, I believed there was nothing more important in life than one's own heart.
“Just hearing you say you trust me gives me great strength.”
Above all, because of her words, I was no longer in turmoil.
I was no longer worried or distressed.
For that, I was truly grateful to Adelia.
All that was left was to act with conviction.
How others would perceive my actions was not for ‘me’ to decide.
“……”
Just like Adelia, who was now silently meeting my gaze. They would hear my words and come to their own conclusions about my actions.
The point wasn't that I was going to forcibly hold onto them and do something.
All I had to do was establish my own stance.
Thinking about how they would accept me would only distract my heart.
“Instructor Adelia. Do you perhaps have a little more time?”
“…I do.”
And so, I could now be the one to approach her.
There was no more hesitation.
…….
The academy had quite a few parks.
With grounds vast enough to accommodate all sorts of facilities, the parks within were just as varied.
*Step.*
Now, having found a park with a small lake with Adelia, my heart felt like it was tingling.
My feelings had changed, and as if she had sensed it, Adelia had started treating me cautiously at some point. At the same time, she watched me with a gentle demeanor, as if ready to listen to whatever I had to say.
That was why I felt I had to show Adelia a little of my heart.
“This may be a bit sudden, Instructor Adelia.”
“Yes.”
“Until recently, I believed that love meant you should only see one person.”
“You… did?”
“Yes. I thought that was consideration for the other person, and what true love was. And even now, that thought hasn’t changed much.”
I slowly took in the sight of Adelia.
Her emerald hair shimmered brilliantly in the sunlight. And she herself seemed even more beautiful than that.
And despite those thoughts, I voiced the direction I would pursue.
“But it seems I naturally come to hold those who like me in my heart.”
“…!”
Seeing her eyes widen, I paused for a moment.
*Ssk.*
I turned my head away from her surprised face and looked at the surface of the lake, where gentle ripples were spreading.
‘For now, this should be enough.’
It was an indirect answer to the feelings she held.
I was not yet enough to accept her, so I thought it would surely take time.
And that didn't just apply to Adelia.
Even if other women accepted me, I wanted to strive harder to become someone more worthy of them.
“Because someone likes you, Cadet Han Cheon-seong… you came to like them?”
Her voice was unexpectedly calm. I kept my eyes on the water’s surface as I continued.
“Yes. So at first, I felt that my own feelings were wrong. To be honest, I felt I was unworthy of anyone. I thought I shouldn’t even approach them, but as my thoughts continued, my heart began to change.”
As I spoke, I was faintly realizing it.
‘Even I think I’m quite greedy.’
I had thought my situation wasn't right for me to hold someone in my heart, but now that I was aware that someone had feelings for me…
I didn't want to make them give up on those feelings.
Once the desire to refuse them vanished, a preposterous greed to have them for myself welled up instead.
And once my various doubts disappeared, I clearly recognized that part of myself and couldn't deny it.
“That’s why I think my values are changing so drastically. I was a bit confused and fell into turmoil, but… if I can reach a high enough position, I can confidently love the people who like me back.”
As I continued speaking while looking at the lake… I thought it was a truly strange answer.
I knew full well how Adelia felt, yet this was the only way I could speak to her.
I found myself ridiculous, but I felt it couldn't be helped for now.
That was the state of my heart.
I couldn't deceive my own feelings, nor did I intend to deceive her.
That was why I was revealing this truth to her for the first time.
That I would embrace the people who liked me, and that I would work harder to do so.
And the fact that these words also applied to other women…
*Ssk.*
I slowly turned my gaze to meet Adelia’s once more.
“Whatever you think of me, I will accept your decision, Instructor Adelia.”
So, I wouldn't ask her to accept me.
I would just honestly reveal my stance to her. Because I knew the answer lay with her.
“…I don’t think that mindset is a bad one.”
After hearing my words, Adelia’s gaze now felt unmistakably loving.
I felt that she had completely understood me.
That she fully grasped the meaning behind the various things I’d said to her. And it was because it was ‘Adelia’ that I was speaking to her.
A woman who had spent no small amount of time with me. And one who had subtly expressed her feelings to me.
…I already knew the answer.
Her disposition, her values, her thoughts, and even her heart—all of it.
Because I knew she would give me this answer…
“I wanted to give you an answer regarding my feelings, Instructor Adelia.”
That was why I was saying this to her.
From now on…
I would come to love her.