Chapter 210
Chapter 210
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 210
Chapter Title: Lean on Me Anytime
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Time passed. Inside the infirmary.
“…”
Our eyes met at an incredibly close distance, yet the entire situation felt awkward.
Being face-to-face with her like this, just the two of us inside a curtained-off bed, felt worlds apart from any previous encounter.
*Rustle.*
I didn't resist her gentle touch as she pushed me down to lie back, but a strange feeling washed over me.
Now that I recognized the emotion in her eyes, everything truly felt different.
“Alright, Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Please relax your mind.”
"..."
My gaze drifted to her softly moving lips as I numbly nodded.
A gentle, green light immediately began to shimmer around her entire body. It was the manifestation of her unique power.
It not only healed those nearby but also made them feel more comfortable and at ease. I could feel vitality gradually welling up within me, my body naturally loosening and relaxing.
“For now, just try to fully accept the power you're feeling."
Faced with her faint smile, I could only be obedient.
‘I can't refuse.’
It wasn't a situation where I could refuse, but more than that, I didn't have the slightest desire to.
The feeling that I had to do as she said filled my body and mind.
*Gently.*
As her hands moved over my torso, I felt a warmth spreading through my entire body.
Originally, when she suggested I visit the infirmary, I'd wondered if she was going to ask something of me, but the reality was completely different from my expectations.
All Adelia wanted from me was my ‘peace of mind.’
Even when I said I was fine, she had insisted, creating this private environment to proceed with the healing.
And now, she was trying to help me relax in this comfortable and cozy way.
*Gently.*
Following the light touch of her hands on my torso, the strength drained from my body as if it were no longer my own. A sensation that just wanted… to stay like this, to remain at ease.
“…”
I could only meet her gaze as she looked down at me. There was nothing I could do.
I found myself thinking how beautiful her distinct golden eyes were, and that maybe, this was okay.
‘Sometimes…’
…maybe it's alright to enjoy this kind of luxury.
She wanted to treat me directly like this, and I had no reason to refuse.
I found myself feeling that way before I knew it.
Adelia's touch wasn't driven by ulterior motives, nor was she trying to do anything emotional.
Even though I could so clearly feel the different kind of emotion in her gaze, she was meticulously restraining her touch and her power, acting purely as an instructor.
She was simply trying to heal my mind. And it was actually quite effective.
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong. There's something I think you need to hear.”
“…Yes, Instructor Adelia.”
I didn't know what she was going to say, but I found myself agreeing.
My body and mind were already so relaxed that I would accept whatever she did.
“This is about the officers and soldiers on the front lines, so it might sound a bit heavy. They, much like you, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, often felt they were perfectly fine and said there was nothing wrong with their bodies, but there were times they were in danger.”
I began to listen intently to her calm voice.
In the story, instructors don't usually go into detail about the front lines. Doing so could create a sense of unease among the cadets and lower the officer application rate, so they intentionally avoid it.
But Adelia was now speaking to me about it without hesitation.
“From my time as a nursing officer on the front lines, I learned that accidents happen unpredictably. An accident you can prepare for isn't really an accident, after all. So, when people face a powerful apostle or experience great danger, many of them suffer from mental anxiety, even if they make it through the crisis safely. The pressure of having to stand on the front lines again the very next day is immense, even if they survived the first. That's why, regardless of your physical condition, you must rest properly after enduring a major ordeal.”
“…”
“I see some similarities between them and you right now, Cadet Han Cheon-seong. You can't say you've overcome various incidents unscathed when you've suffered such severe injuries and pain. And you've faced these incidents in quick succession over a short period. It's fortunate your body has recovered thanks to timely treatment, but your mind is another matter."
She paused mid-sentence to catch her breath, and I slowly began to realize what she was trying to say.
I truly felt that I was fine, and my body had indeed recovered thanks to her power.
Yet, the reason she was going to such lengths to tell me this.
…It was about the mind.
“People say you can't properly gauge the human mind because it has no form, but I don't see it that way. The mind is almost the same as the body. The body feels pain when it's wounded and becomes exhausted when it's overworked. The mind is the same; it feels pain, gets tired, and has clear limits. The mind needs to be properly cared for too.”
“…”
“Your determination to steel yourself and stay disciplined is good, Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Your constant dedication to training and striving for improvement is all ideal. But there also needs to be a time to let your mind rest, like now. What I'm saying is, you don't always have to answer that you're okay."
*Softly.*
As Adelia continued to speak gently, she suddenly brushed her hand through my hair. The sensation was ticklish, and for a moment, she seemed dazzlingly radiant in my eyes.
I believed that healing people held great meaning in itself.
To heal someone's wounds with one's own power was an incredible thing.
As I received her treatment, that feeling only grew stronger. They say people can take kindness for granted once they get used to it, but that wasn't the case with healing.
Every time I received treatment, I only felt more grateful to her.
…But seeing her try to heal not just my body but my mind as well, I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe.
“And in that sense, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, you can lean on me anytime. And you’ve already received so much treatment, haven't you? I've already seen sides of you that others would never see. There's no need to hide anything. Because I can handle it.”
A faint breath escaped me at her calm words.
…More than just my body relaxing from her power, it felt like my mind was letting go on a much larger scale.
Could someone really offer you a shoulder to lean on with such sincerity?
Experiencing it for the first time, my heart felt heavy.
Facing someone who cared for me so genuinely, person to person, I suddenly let go of the mental reins I always held so tightly.
“…”
A flood of scenes flashed before my eyes.
Right after I'd fallen into this world, without any idea why.
With a heavy heart, unsure of how to survive, I had to struggle just to get by.
I had to force my way into the gaps between people so different from me, finding odd jobs and menial labor just to sustain myself.
The very idea of having to earn money to live was utterly unfamiliar to me, and spending each day in a world I knew nothing about had placed an immense burden on me.
That first month had been agonizingly painful, day after day.
I was just constantly anxious.
The anxiety of whether I could truly make a life for myself in this world.
I had no family here, and of course, no one I was close to.
There wasn't even anyone who recognized me or treated me well in this world.
Because I was different from them.
And surrounded by such people, I belatedly came to understand what this world was like.
Only after enduring several difficult months was I able to save up enough money to get my trait assessed.
Perhaps my heart had grown numb after enduring those months. Even when I was assigned a Common-grade trait, I was able to accept that reality.
Then, after painstaking effort, I entered this academy.
“…”
I shook my head, cutting off the thought.
*Gently.* As her hand caressed my hair, an inexplicable sigh escaped me.
“Haa.”
Even now, I couldn't say I was living a peaceful life.
I knew the future of this world and the dangers to come, and they affected me directly.
That was why I had to keep striving, endlessly looking forward and running ahead. I never allowed myself a moment of weakness.
I felt that if I let my guard down even a little, I wouldn't be able to keep moving forward.
I had to be strong to navigate this world properly. At the many moments I was on the verge of breaking, I somehow held myself together.
And then I realized.
“…”
I had been projecting the absolute mental fortitude that Leonhardt had shown in the story onto myself.
It was a fact I hadn't even considered, a realization that struck me at this unexpected moment.
A hollow laugh escaped me without my knowing.
Having someone tell me it was okay to lean on them… and so freely trying to give me strength, it felt truly strange.
It was so strange that… this version of me didn't feel like myself at all.
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong…?”
Her slightly bewildered voice brought my dazed eyes back into focus.
Through my still-blurry vision, Adelia's face looked strangely beautiful.
‘Was Adelia always this beautiful?’
Maybe she was. But more importantly, there was something I needed to say to her.
“…”
I opened my mouth to speak, but my lips trembled.
I hesitated for a moment before I could finally get the words out.
***
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong…?”
Adelia felt flustered as she spoke.
She had gotten a bit carried away, her words growing longer out of concern for his condition.
She had even said things she normally wouldn't, thinking she might have gone too far…
But his reaction was completely different from what she'd expected.
After hearing her out, he seemed to fall into deep thought, his eyes suddenly losing focus. So, instead of speaking, she waited for his thoughts to conclude.
In the process, she saw his expression subtly contort and change in various ways.
When he gave a hollow smile, shook his head, and met her eyes, she couldn't help but call his name.
His eyes were glistening with a faint wetness.
And his face looked so very fragile that her own heart suddenly ached.
When his lips trembled, her own heart shook violently.
“…Thank you for saying that.”
And at the voice that finally came, she… couldn't say a word.
It was a voice she had never heard before.
It was as if the Cadet Han Cheon-seong she was looking at wasn't him at all… For a moment, she could do nothing but stare.
*Slowly.*
Her gaze followed him as he sat up, his eyes still hazy and transparent.
“…Then, sometimes… just sometimes, is it okay if I lean on you, Instructor Adelia?“
As he spoke with a faint smile, her body moved before her mind could think.
*Suddenly.*
"Lean on me anytime."
Her heart surged more than ever before as she pulled him into her embrace.
”Ah…”
As he let out a dazed sound, she only held him tighter.
Heat rose from their connected warmth, and her mind went blank.
‘I promised myself I wouldn't touch him.’
She had steeled her heart so firmly. But she couldn't bring herself to stick to it.
Because the way he looked in that moment… was just so, so fragile. She had no choice but to make him lean on her, even by force.